I dated my wife for three years before we married. We were both in our 30s and had had all of the important discussions before we decided to marry (kids, religion, etc.). At the time, she told me she was agnostic, and not really into "the whole religion thing."
Now, less than six months into our marriage, she tells me she's joined a church and expects me to join her for Sunday services. It's only now that I learn that she has extremely right-wing, religious views. After talking with some of her friends, they couldn't believe I didn't know this about her.
I asked them why they wouldn't have mentioned this when they found out we weren't having a church wedding and they told me that was probably done for my benefit. Now, instead of our not wanting any kids, she wants at least five and maybe more. Instead of no religion, she wants strict adherence to her religion.
I feel I've been duped and that she's lied to me about herself. Is there any way out of this short of divorce?
Bob Mann says, "Can You Help This Guy?"
What's your problem? You are agnostic and want your wife to be one too? She lied to probably match up to your beliefs. Forgive her.
ReplyDeleteAnnul the marriage since she lied.
ReplyDeletewell she lied so divorce her or change. sorry dude. dont get her preggy until you make your choice.
ReplyDeletehow possible is he not getting her preggy after six months of sleeping in one bed as couple?
DeleteFind a middle ground, both of you! The deed is done.
ReplyDeleteWell to me, u guys shld annul d marriage cos dr is no point.
ReplyDeleteAsk her why she felt she had to lie to you about such deal breakers. You've signed to stay married in good and bad times. I don't think its right to kick her out. Work it out.
ReplyDeleteShe lied about a fundamental issue. You were upfront with her about being agnostic…she should have treated you with the same respect so that you could make an informed decision about whether or not you wanted to marry her. She sounds like one of those women who thinks she can mould her husband into who she wants him to be after marriage. Run for your life now. Life is too short to be trapped in a lie. And remember, we teach people how to treat us. If you go along with her plans against your personal convictions, you are setting the tone for your marriage. You are telling her it's okay for her to lie and manipulate you.
ReplyDeletehmmm this was on Dear Prudence last week and I believe the consensus there was 1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.
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I feel bad for this man, because these are things that nobody should be deceived about. How could she hide all of this for three years just to get the ring? I could never trust someone like this, because if they could be so deceptive and patient in their deception, what wont they do? The only consolation is that it may have been an act of desperation in exiting singlehood, but even that is not a good enough reason for this deception about a core aspect of her being. Her Bible clearly states that: "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord," I think it is one of the few times that a strong word like abomination is used to reference any kind of sin, so if she is willing to commit such an abominable act before her God, then that speaks volumes about her character.
ReplyDeleteshe duped you because she was probably desperate for husband..sigh first of..no kids for now till you sort things out with her..if things do not go well..then you have to live.. and i find it difficult to believe, How will you date one for 3 years and not know she's very religious ? hmm all the best
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I am Christian and I really disagree with this. I believe this is tacky and goes against all that Christianity stands for. I am sorry to say this but your rship is based on lies and the foundation is very weak
ReplyDeleteYeah,look,marriage is a long haul thing.It isn't some shirt that you try on and like the first five minutes then take off again and hang back on the rack in the boutique. Yes she lied to you about something really serious. After money,religion has been known to break up more marriages than we would care to count. But you need to ask yourself why you married her in the first place. Because she was agnostic? I believe in motives. Motives drive the universe,not ideas,or money..but motives. Your motive for marrying her will determine your next line of action. Goodluck.
ReplyDeleteShe lied about fundamental issues, makes me wonder what else she lied about. Am all anti-divorce but this is so wrong. Talk to her though, you may be surprised at her reasons.
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