Dear Myne - I have Commitment Issues

I love your blog and I do not know if you could oblige me by posting my 'issue' up there. How can one overcome the fear of commitment? I have been dating a wonderful man for three years and the fear of even getting a proposal scares me that I break out in cold sweats. I broke off the relationship twice and got back again. I am afraid he may not be the one. I'd really appreciate some good advice.

We met during NYSC programme and started dating few months afterwards. We have the same values and principles on salient issues and he is very committed to God like I am. He has a sense of duty and commitment and my folks like him though we are from different tribes. He knows how to care for me, even though we quarrel we try to sort things up as soon as possible.

We had a did long distance relationship lfor about a year but he lives closer in Ogun State and I in Lagos so we visit each other every two weeks most cases. All in all, he is someone I would like to marry though I get upset with him when he doesn't call me often cos he is busy or tired from work (he's into marketing) and we can get into huge fights. I attribute that to distance issues.

Touching Her by Lelouch

She smiled at me, she winked, she laughed…but I couldn’t touch her. She was right in front of me but I could not adjust her long, dark hair, tilt her oval chin or trace a playful line down a side of her glowing face. She wanted me to hold her, I saw it in her eyes, yet I didn’t. We talked for several short hours throughout that day on life, love, politics and the future. We made and played beautiful music and told tales of the nostalgic past.

I looked away again, made no attempt to hide my false interest in the surrounding scenery because I’d somehow noticed how her smile got brighter when she thought I wasn’t paying attention. I totally deceived her. She thought I was staring at other things…but I was only trying to get a better view. All of my optical focus was directed to peripheral vision so I could ‘scope’ her face, optimally. No harm in that tiny bit of dishonesty, eh?