Thursday, March 14, 2013

Why Do We Always Blame "The Other Woman"?

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I just read a post on 1+TheOne titled Leave Her Man Alone, and immediately commented to say, the man is at fault and should have the blame, if not 100% then 99%. Unless one can prove to me that a particular woman went out of her way to seduce a man, or keep him dating her long term, or that she forced him at gunpoint to neglect, abuse, and divorce his wife, then I stand by my opinion that the cheating man is at fault.

Men are not stupid, they know what they want, and in this chauvnistic world, it is disingenuous to argue that mistresses made them do what they did not want to do. Na Jazz? Sugabelly in her comments said some of what I had in mind, but there are other angles I wanted to expantiate on, and that's why I wrote this post.

1+TheOne made it sound like once a man has a female friend, or a mistress, his wife falls apart emotionally and otherwise. She said in her responses to Sugabelly that she'll be personally affronted and aggrieved, and I know a lot of women who will be too, but I don't  think it's fair to pass that on to majority of other women. Some of us either think differently or have learnt to be stronger than that :)

How Important is a Sense of Humor to You?

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One of my readers who regularly responds to my posts via email sent a reply to the post on 15 Things I Love about my Nigerian Husband, noting that I did not mention a sense of humor. And I got to thinking about it. I asked Atala and he mentioned that one acronym he quickly learned when he tried online dating websites for the first time was GSOH - Good Sense of Humor.

That was the first I was hearing about that. BTW, I remember one guy that tried to chat me up on FB last year, he typed, ASL, I was like huh? He typed it again and I asked, what does that mean? I'm sure he thought I was dumb, but once he told me what it stood for and added some other funny stuff, I closed the chat and blocked him.

Back to GSOH, supposedly women are turned on by a great sense of humor in a guy and it is a pre-requisite in profiles for dating online. I have to admit that I like a guy with a sense of humor, but the thing is that humor is so relative, and some things are funnier in certain situations than in others.

Michelle Obama on Vogue + Her Chat with Young Girls on How She Chose Obama and Life as the First Lady

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Michelle Obama appears on the April cover of Vogue magazine and inside, she and President Barack Obama talked about their life as parents, their marriage, and their vision for America’s families. Michelle Obama said, “I think we are accountable to each other for being who we are,” while the President adds, “We’re a team.”

Can you tell that I love this couple? LOL... Their article reminded me of back in 2011 when First lady Michelle Obama spoke with female secondary school students, young girls interested in Science but who were not meeting their potential. These girls, between 13 and 15, were participating in an immersion experience at the University of Oxford. The first lady was kind enough to graciously answer all their questions on a variety of topics.

She confessed that she had not envisaged that Barack Obama would become president when they first met, but that she had seen other special qualities in him. She answered questions on self-esteem, mentoring other young women, and living in the White House as a mother with two young daughters. She even talked about how important reading and writing were. Below are some excerpts from the interview transcript.

Why Did Goodluck Jonathan Pardon Alamieyeisegha?

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Presidential pardons are used all over the world and I totally agree with the morale behind it. If someone is wrongfully convicted, or if they are truly repentant and have done restitution in other ways for their sins, then it is only fair to pardon.

One thing about pardons in the Nigerian political space that makes me uncomfortable though, is that they have the effect of treating a conviction as though it never happened. Pardoned criminals can no longer be referred to as ex-convicts and can run for presidential office.

Some very political Presidential pardons in Nigeria include those President Shehu Shagari granted to General Yakubu Gowon for participating in the coup that killed General Murtala Mohammed and to Col. Chukuwemeka Odumegwu Ojukwu for driving the Nigerian Civil War. Gowon piped down in his politics but Ojukwu ran for president in 2003.

General Abdulsalami Abubakar in his short tenure also granted a pardon to Obasanjo for his convictions for treason and that paved the way for him to contest and become president in 1999.