Monday, April 25, 2011

U is for Unhealthy Relationships

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So, one of the stories going through my head has to do with someone who has experienced and abusive relationship, and is wary of investing in any other person. As I've tried to write a profile for her, I had to do some little research on this issue.

Unhealthy relationships are those ones that mentally stress you out, and they can also sabotage your physical and emotional well-being. And I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, it could also be with parents, siblings, friends, co-workers or bosses, etc. it may be easy to define, but how exactly can one know that they're in an unhealthy relationship? The following are some specifics;

- You feel afraid, and your heart races when the person is around.
- You think that you and your opinions do not matter in the relationship.
- You emotions do not count, and are actually disrespected
- You are always worried about the future or nature of the relationship
- You both have very different ideas and values and you're always the one to compromise
- The other person's anger overshadows you, and you change your actions, or lie to escape their wrath
- You feel you deserve the criticism you receive from them.

If you feel like this in your current relationship, it may be time to assess why you remain in that position. Whether at work or at home, you deserve peace of mind, and a optimal health. You may confide in a trusted friend, family member, pastor, or consult a therapist for counseling.

Usually, the first way forward is to improve on  communication between you and the person aggravating you. Be honest with them about how you feel, and how you expect to be treated. Here, you can try listing the behaviors that hurt you, and a better way the person could have phrased it that you would prefer.

If the person is apologetic and willing to work with you, you can then decide on ways forward. Try to schedule times just to talk. Also make time for both of you to simply have fun. If you're using a professional counselor, it may be time to meet them together, and try to work out if there are underlying issues that need to be solved.

If none of the above works, it may be time to end the relationship. Leave that boyfriend, husband, partner, resign from that job, or just begin to put some distance between you and the person if you cannot leave them entirely, like a co-worker in a job you may not afford to quit.

This is a serious post because I believe this is a sensitive issue.

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