Saturday, February 27, 2010

Update: Listen to Why should I get married?

Posted in:
Click play to listen to the show and thanks for all your comments that helped make for a lively discussion.


Listen to internet radio with Vera Ezimora on Blog Talk Radio

It's funny I came across several marriage related blog posts today seeing that I am co-hosting Vera's show tomorrow on the title with my SO. Why should anyone get married? Some genuine write-ups from bloggers...

TayneMent's Friday Randoms: "If you really think about it, the whole concept of marriage is insane!"

Anyaposh; The woman and Wife: I feel a strong sense of push-pull tension about the idea of marriage. As a woman, I look forward to it but quite frankly, I'm also very scared about being married. On the one hand, I imagine the experience of wonderful marital bliss with a Significant Other; a lifetime of togetherness; intimacy; bonding; raw sex; raising a family; walking the life path... And on the other, inevitable disappointments; heartbreak; dependence; raising a family; walking the life path... Basically, almost the same things which pull me toward the idea, push me away from it!

Kpakpando; Lagos Lies: To all the single and searching (fasting, praying, self-searching, envious, dieting, exercising, compromising, revising, wishing, hoping), whatever you classify yourself as... know this as you wait for/find your life partner: most people lie about the true state of their marriage. Don't for one second look at the wedding pictures on BellaNaija or read the happy interviews in City People/Genevieve or Linda Ikeji's blog and feel any sort of way; sometimes what you're seeing is FILM TRICK and what you're reading is WISHFUL THINKING.

So what do you think?

Is marriage a sick if not dying institution, poisoned with the bad rep of divorces, infidelity and domestic violence? Will there remain reasons for people to get married and keep getting married? You want to know what I think? Of course I'm married as is Atala Wala, but we had thoughts while still single and now can speak from both sides. And we'll be talking to Vera Tomorrow.

But it wouldn't be a conversation without you guys, single, engaged, married, separated or divorced. Let's talk, the show is going to be Live on BlogTalk Radio. Tune in at 7amPST, 10amEST, 3pmGMT and 4pm Nigerian time.

E-mail your questions/comments/stories to radio@verastic.com or text 1.443.934.9039 * Call 1.646.929.1905 during the LIVE show to join the conversation. You can also participate in the chat room if you register with Blogtalk Radio.

Do enjoy your weekends, especially those in Nigeria. It is a three day one, maybe even four for some, LOL. Hope to hear or read from you. Mwah!



53 comments:

  1. Hi Myne
    I'll be listening. u're right though, quite a number of marriage related posts today.

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  2. Myne W. What time will it be on as for E.S.T people in the Toronto/New York area?

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  3. It gets so frequent.. kinda like know how it ends.. For me, I believe that marriage doesn't make you.. Its not a compulsory to-do list of Things I'd do while on earth.. But so many people I know will beg to differ.
    www.askchacha4free.blogspot.com

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  4. Marriage is scary! Especially in this day and age with all the extra complications. But with that said, I still want to get married someday.
    Please check out http://helpnigeria.blogspot.com/

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  5. I don't think marriage is a dying institution, poisoned with the bad rep of divorces, infidelity and domestic violence but its not an easy task tho. Would love to listen to the show,wat time is it?

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  6. i feel what they are saying and still i cant wait to be married, for the good times and the bad times, will try to make the show :)

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  7. Myne b'anyi,

    I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I'll save my comments for then - not like I'll be able to air my views anyway. I have to stay neutral. However, when all is said and done, I still do look forward to the marriage.

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  8. Oh, forgot to add:

    The show is at 10am U.S. Eastern time or 4pm Nigerian time.

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  9. Thanks for pointing out that ommission, I'll put in the times.

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  10. I'll be listening, I personally think that marriage itself is a sacred and powerful institution, but like any institution it is open to abuse and must be treated with care. For example, sex is good but there are those who use sex to abuse and control, but that doesn't mean that sex itself is bad. Or food, there are those that end up using food in a way that makes them unhealthy. Should they stop eating food ever, no, they have to learn to use food moderately.

    Looking forward to the discussion!

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  11. Myne,

    I am reading ur book, after a long haitus from the blogging world. Sample chapters I think. So far, so great! great writing, ur imagery is excellent. did u join a critique group? or rather, is there a critique group on blogger for writers like us?

    once again, I duff my hat to ur writing. lemme go and continue!

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  12. No, marriage is NOT a dying institution. But just like many institutions in this society, it is failing. Every single day people gt married for the wrong reasons-one of which is "my age-mates are getting married," and then they get married to the wrong person.

    Marriage is not perfect because the people involved are imperfect, but like the many other things in life, we have to keep working on it.

    These are my comments for the show since I won't be able to be on...I hope my comments get to Vera, lol.

    @ Myne, I'd love to know if there's a critique group you joined as well like Bimbylads.

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  13. Marriage scares the hell out of me. Imagine waking up to the same life everyday..well of course I'm still young..so as they say "Let's wait and see".

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  14. @BimbyLads and JayCee, Thanks for your comments. I joined a local writing group here in Seattle who gave me feedback in the run-up to publishing AHTM. There is not yet a critique group on blogville but there were some helpful bloggers who helped me critique and proof-read the second draft (They won it as a blog giveaway and are listed in the book acknowledgements).

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  15. We did a post about this with exactly the same title! I thought I was having a dejavu experience or something when I saw this, lol. Honestly, I might be too young to have a sure opinion on this but the suffering we see behind closed doors has put me off completely. The things people sacrifice to retain that title of "Mrs" are just too shocking for me to comprehend sometimes. I guess it would take the right person to convince me, but until then, marriage seems overrated.

    p.s. the love languages post is still coming... M has to write her bit... :)

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  18. marriage is getting to be a scary concept for me especially as i get older, im 19 but still!!!

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  19. Its 3.30am nigerian time,I woke up not to find my hubby next to me,picked up ma fone and saw he tried to call me @ 11pm..his fones are dead,its a friday nite so I know he's most def not in trouble,he's never done this before afta marriage so I jus wonder....I jus wanted to add that this is one of the inexplicable dissapointment someone talked about.people get married for several things,emotional stability,financial stability,even spiritual stability..can't imagine anyone claimin to be born again and fornicatin on d side but like someon also wrote,d STRANGEST things happen in marriage and as far as am concerned,it doesn't nullify those reasons u chose to take those vows in d 1st place!!

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  20. QMoney, they say sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. I do hope your hubby is OK. Marriage can be tough sometimes and people have to learn to get through these patches.

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  21. hehe it's not even my time to talk about Marriage yet oooo

    i'm with onosetale(damsel)and Juanita for now...lol

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  22. Well I have about 12 sisters and 16 brothers and i know a lot about marriages as I see if unfolding in front of me. Having said that, I believe the single ones have the right to experience it too. They shouldn't be deterred with what's going on in other people's lives. I believe everybody has the change to make their marriage work or not....

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  23. my fear for marriage actualy gets worse by d day. I fink its an overrated institution.

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  24. I so look forward to getting married o jare. That other peoples thing didn't work doesn't mean urs wont. I think It's really about being on the same page with ur partner, and trying ur best to just be happy with each other.

    p.s. If d level dey prove too difficult on the other hand, u waka now haba?

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  26. im stll on the sidelines with marraige, i dont know if i want to do it or not.

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  27. **I sigh* Long long sigh! I donno about marriage but i do know i want a baby girl before i clock 24. It would be the coolest thing. **I think** Well i also know i dont like the idea of putting a child through single parenting - - But...**Another sigh...

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  28. I 'll be listening in.Interesting take on marriage by the above bloggers.People should not be scared of the concept of marriage, not because it didnt work for Mr A does not mean it wont work for you

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  29. I would have loved to listen to the show. There are alot of things to talk about with regards this topic...

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  30. I cant wait to get married!!! Long live the time when I was scared...It is never a good idea to get married for the wrong reasons which includes sexual attraction, to cure loneliness, as an act of rebellion, rebound love, out of obligation, pressure, pregnancy, and for financial gain. Marriages based on these reasons most likely result in divorce. While for some people, one or all of these reasons may seem like the best thing, but they are not. Some of these reasons are selfish and do not take in the considerations of the other partner's feelings.

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  31. Thanks for all the comments, the show went very well. To listen you can click play on the player at the top of the post.

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  32. marriage is God's original idea for man. it is a covenant relationship between a man and a woman and God. It is not a sick idea. God did NOT create anything that is a mistake. Not even Judas who betrayed Jesus was a mistake, because without Judas, we all would not have been saved by the blood. Marriage is the oldest institution in the world and its foundation is in God.
    It is possible that many will fulfill their destinies without getting married. It is possible that some people are not meant to be married in their life time. this does not mean marriage is sick or useless or whatever. and as i round up, it should also be known that marriage does not make anyone complete as we are all created as complete human beings. also, there are various reasons why most marriages fail, not forgetting a lot of people marry for the wrong reasons, or married the wrong people, or allowed the inside to be influenced by the outside etc.

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  33. Myne, I missed the show, would have loved to call in. Marriage has its challenges, but is a beautiful institution in spite of that. When next are you co-hosting?

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  34. whatever it is ...... I absolutely can't wait to be married!

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  35. School is also an institution, it requires hard work, sweat, tears and all of that good stuff. is getting through it rewarding? yes Does that make it evil, nope, I guess it all depends on expectations,people usually focus on the wedding and not the marriage afterwards, you don't realize that your about to basically about to chain yourself to a stranger,from a different background and ultimately different views on life. So do I want to get married? hell to dah yeah,lol

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  40. marriage is an interesting concept,but for now I think the best thing I can contribute is 'no comment'
    I'm undecided :)

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  41. Marriage is not a bed of roses. As with most things in life, you take the rough with the smooth. Simple concept yet challenging and if fortunate, fulfilling and rewarding.

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  42. Hmm marriage is still an important institution

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  43. About the show, I have learnt to listen to it afterwards, because I have found out that listening live doesn't do my blood pressure or my Saturday morning schedule any good :( .

    That said, I enjoyed listening to the conversation, especially the two last callers including Richard who provided a whole new dimension to the marriage question. Well done you folks.

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  44. LMAO @ Kpakpando; Lagos Lies....
    marriage is indeed scary for me...

    since am just seeing this..i guess i'v missed the show

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  45. Thanks Kola, Richard was definitely interesting.

    @Doll, you can listen to it from the player at the top of the post.

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  46. am with naijaline on this one. marriage is like a great job that also came with headaches on the side.



    @ doll: uzezi told me she met u on saturday & u live so close to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can u imagine! sure would have loved to meet u o. am back to abeokuta sha.

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  47. I didn't listen till the end but I really enjoyed the show. Myne, you just sound like I expected, very 'homely'. I enjoyed listening to you and your SO. I think marriage while not being the easiest thing in the world is a beautiful thing when we do our best to do it right. Anyone can live with their partner but it takes guts to tell the world, I promise that I will love and honour you above all else, to share my life with you, to share my worldly goods with you, to commit to be with you through thick and thin so the responsibility is on us to ensure that marriage is not a failing institution. It is important for children to grow up in such an environment.

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  48. Thanks Hadassah, I completely agree that it falls on those within marriage to keep it good for themselves.

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  49. I think AnyaPosh hit d nail on d head for me. I am scared shitless of getting married but at the same time, I want to get married like anytime from now. lol

    Myne what does SO mean?

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  50. BTW I know ur talking abt ur hubby but what does it stand for? lol

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  51. Dith, LOL. SO stands for Significant Other.

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  52. well i'd like to think there's still hope for marriage. i mean you're in one and you are loving it so definitely it cannot be condemnned totally.

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