University Drop-outs, Drop-ins and Drive-by Schoolings by BabaWilly

I come from Nigeria where we love to see letters before and after our names. The problem is that letters come from Universities and study is both time consuming and mentally tasking. Why read when you can Azonto? Pepper souping, point and killing, shacking Gulder and watching Barcelona FC are much more relaxing in the tropical heat abi?

Authority Stealing Pass Armed Robbery - BabaWilly

In recent times we have heard songs like Yahozee, Maga don pay and I go chop your dollar, all obtuse references to advance fee fraud perpetrated via the internet. If music is a barometer of public sensibilities, then one could assert that the era of the beautification of area boy and area thief is really upon us.

Family Tales of Woes and Victories by BabaWilly

Catching your child wasting family resources can spark anger. With that comes an intense desire to right all the wrong ideas they harbour about the intrinsic value of things they see in the family home. The usual vehicle for the attempt at transforming their behaviour is the ‘lecture’.

The Naija Bucket Mentality by BabaWilly

If all the buckets in Nigeria should get raptured into Pail Heaven tonight, the country would be thrown into utter confusion. Life without buckets in Nigeria would mean no life at all. (The Rapture, to the uninitiated is when all Christians will suddenly varnish from the face of the earth when the last trumpet sounds).

Sleep - A Farewell to Complaining by BabaWilly

Eureka! I have discovered the purpose of sleep! Such a simple revelation that makes you wonder why no one thought of this Nobel Prize winning explanation before. Sleep is designed to give human beings a break from complaining. Finito!

Why Are You Reading Motivational Books? by BabaWilly

I received a telephone call from Lagos last week. A friend was speaking to me sat in a dark room because there was no light and no fuel for the electricity generator. At the end of the call he had a request. He wanted me to buy a copy of a particular motivational book that had just hit the market. I agreed to grant the request but as soon as I put the phone down I began to ask myself if those books work in Lagos.

More Power to Black Music? by BabaWilly

I spend more time listening to black music than any other music. So what is black music? Music composed and performed by black people? Who knows? All I know is some aspects of Black music winds me up the wrong way.  Rest in peace and great respect to the dead but which one is, I shot the sheriff but did not shoot the deputy? No jury will buy that line of yours my brother especially as you claimed to have shot a law enforcement officer. Why sing in court? Do you not have money for legal representation? Guilty as charged abeg. Next!

Domestic Monitoring Spirits by BabaWilly

What is monitoring? Safe guarding the common and valuable asset. A suspicious inclination that when fully formed never leaves you. You might call it being street wise, due diligence, or not being naïve but it is plain old paranoia. Your fellow man might stab you in the back so we monitor our brethren. We cannot be ‘dull’ we tell ourselves. Suspicion is expedient. We call it a healthy vigilance.

Romeo and Juliet versus Cat and Mouse by BabaWilly

Tension lies at the heart of all relationships; be they attractive or repulsive forces. A job is one of those intimate relationships full of tension. It starts early for some. The poor kid who is asked what he will be when he grows up and is forced to imagine what his ideal ‘partner in productivity’ will be while still only five years of age. That is tension. With the passing of time everyone soon finds out they need to get hooked to a job.

Lagos Cinema Show By BabaWilly

Sitting with my fellow country men and women in darkness usually means we are being afflicted by one of the many descendants of ECN & NEPA. But this time it was different. We were not sitting in an examination hall awaiting the switching on of the stand by generators or doing the same at a wedding reception. This was Saturday night at the movies at Genesis Deluxe Cinema at The Palms Shopping Centre, Lekki and the packed house waited in keen anticipation to see that big MGM lion roar us into movie land.

Weight Management in Long Term relationships

By BabaWilly

A rolly poly couple were cramped up in the economy air plane seats flying over the Sahara and they wondered two things in their private thoughts. Why was it taking so long to travel from London to Lagos and has the Sahara increased in length? Nay, I lie, for they contemplated a third thing which was this. Why has my spouse put on so much weight?

Lessons From Boxing To Prevent Domestic Violence In Your Relationship

By Baba Willy

Now I must confess that my relationship with boxing falls into the stop it, I like it category. As a physician, one is opposed to all manner of intentional violence, yet as a sports fan one not only wants to see the gloved human fist turned into a general anaesthetic apparatus, one also wants to join in with the referee as his swings his arm making that beautiful count to ten. Oh, the jubilant as the disoriented boxer staggers on all fours on the canvas trying in vain to retain his mouth guard and some remnant of dignity.

In My Dreams - Apology to Usain Bolt By BabaWilly

I know that the arrival of my letter may induce some degree of puzzlement or even hilarity but these things are what they are. Fate and circumstance have joined forces to bring me to this point. It was not too difficult to find your agent’s address thanks to google, and here I am or perhaps I should say, here is my letter.
Now, I will go straight to the point. A few hours ago, I had a dream. And no, it was not deeply rooted in the American dream. It was just one of those dreams, but this one was different.

To All My Ladies - This is a World Cup Year (Waiting for June 12)

By BabaWilly

I might as well put it in writing my darling, I might as well put pen to paper my love. My reasons are simple, you can read. And to that great insight, I add that just like the elephant, you never forget. In addition to that similarity I would venture to say that your footprints have left an indelible mark. I know that there are cynics out there who will say ‘she walks all over him’ on reading this, but just look at me. Since you walked into my life, things have never been the same.  My life has improved a hundred fold.

Bad Counting and Missing Billions - Arithmetic deficiency Syndrome

By BabaWilly

An Oba was once asked during a television interview how many children he had. I was a child at the time and waited for an answer. He looked at the ceiling for inspiration, coughed and swiped at an imaginary house fly (or perhaps it was a palace fly) before giving the answer. ‘Children are a blessing from God and not to be counted like cattle’.

Facebook Personalities By Baba Willy - Part 2

Read Part 1

Facebook means that everybody is now a reporter. In the 60s, only journalists could report on events for they were the only ones with sole access to photo libraries and information. They also had the platform to reach a wide audience which was the Newspaper. Now everybody is a journalist reporting live from our living rooms. Google is there for research and any image can be uploaded in a second. Some report only on themselves as they have become biased into thinking that their every sneeze is a newsworthy item.

Facebook Personality Types Part 1

By Babawilly

I stood before my mother armed with my Sony camera, waiting for that look on her face that said ‘I am now ready’. As she adjusted her hand bag and pushed a little at her glasses, she did not implore me not to cut her head or take an out of focus picture. She simply communicated her hope.