To Women Who Constantly Complain But Never Change

By Jai Stone

Dear Sista Complains A Lot: There is something that I’ve been wanting to say to you and I finally think it’s time. I’m hoping that you can hear me over your constant grumbles of discontent. I’m praying that you can put aside your finger pointing, wailing and yammering for just a few minutes and process what I have to say.

The honest truth is that no matter how much time you spend “venting,” whining or complaining, the only person that can change your situation is you. I’m sorry, but it’s my turn to complain. You need to know that talk without action is just a bunch of noise.

If you are reading this letter and you are not sure if it applies to you, there are a few clear signs that you’re a Constant Complainer: If you call your friends and they don’t answer or call you back. When your sister or best friends constantly says, “Are we back on this subject again?” If your Mama always says, “Baby, just let that go already!” Or, lastly, if your co-workers have stopped inviting you to lunch and wrap things up fast when they see you coming. Those are all sure signs that you are stuck on the “Gripes & Groans” station and you need to change the channel fast.

How do I know, well I’ve seen the effects up close and personal. All my life I’ve watched the women around me complain about their lives. They were too afraid or too stubborn to change their circumstances, so they opted to just be angry and complain about them. I watched them as they trudged off to jobs they hated, cussed at kids that hated them and clung to sorry men that didn’t care about them. I watched these women who appeared to be strong cower in the corners of their lives and refuse to step into the light.

POLL - Your Dream Place to Get Married?

Most of us who are already married either got married either had our traditional marriages at home, and a church or registry marriage. But what if you did not have all those expectations from your parents, family and friends? And what if you had as much money as it took to pay for any venue of your choice? Where would you get married? Fill in the poll and leave more details in the comments...

10 Great Things To Say to Your Husband or Wife

It is often said that the little things are the most important in a relationship. Equally, couples who have been married the longest will tell you that communication is key to the longevity of their marriages. Another thing that keeps love fresh is simple kindness, which sometimes is not so simple. Remember "love is patient, love is kind"? Exactly!

So for those times when you just feel full of bursting with love and need to let it out, or even when the lines of communication between you and your SO stalls and you need to find something to keep the wheels running smoothly. At those times, here are a few nice things you can say to share the love, or to bring the smile back to his or her face.

1. Thank you - Appreciation, appreciation, appreciation. You'll be surprised how far this goes. It is said that when you thank people for what they've done, then they want to do more.

2. I respect you - Respect they say is reciprocal, but usually people avoid simply saying it. Sure, there are ways to actively show that you respect your SO, like listen to them when they speak, try to put some of their suggestions into what you usually do, etc. However, there are times you just have to say it.

3. I’m sorry - Need I add anything here? When you've messed up, please learn to say sorry. When feelings are frayed and no one is sure who is at fault, be the first to say I'm sorry. But be sincere, and use your senses. If your SO has done something terrible, then let THEM do the apologizing.

Adventures of a Miss!! Episode 11

I might as well tell him now, I mean since we are both on this honesty road it might make things a little easier. Will the fact that Bolaji slept with Zainab aver 8 years ago matter when comparing it to the fact that just a couple of months ago I was still out with Muhammad?

At the time, I didn’t think Bolaji was taking me serious though, I thought I was just the poor girl he was dating that he knew he could impress easily till he found daddy’s business partner daughter to marry. I am so confused, I don’t want to lose Bolaji, and it’s not because of the money. In the past, I had to keep my emotions bagged up because I thought he would eventually dump me but I realized once I let all my feelings for him manifest, it was the most amazing thing.

Me: “I have something to tell you but like you said you have to listen and not try to fight me as well. So a couple of months ago…”

Who the hell is knocking at the door at this time and interrupting a conversation that took all of the liver in me to bring up? Bolaji gets up and walks past me to see who is at the door but I couldn’t hear who it was since I was in the kitchen. I walk closer to where I could see without been noticed after I heard shouting and surprisingly it is Muhammad.

A Breast Cancer Survivor Speaks out about her Experience

‘Layo Olowu is a breast cancer survivor and in this video, she speaks with Kemi Obisesan of Shout Series TV. She takes the listeners through her experience of finding out she had cancer, telling her loved ones, choosing a treatment plan and how her faith saw her through the whole journey. Quite inspirational. For those who cannot watch the video, below is the first post on her surviving cancer blog;

I got to understand that God dishes out to you more than one gift  some quite so visible and others not so visible however they are revealed as you go along in life. My first love is for fashion and makeup.  I am so passionate about beauty and get excited when I get the opportunity to display my makeup artistry skills as well as coming up with a unique design that is later transformed into an outfit. Designers  and makeup artist often collaborate both as it comes with the territory.  I am also passionate about writing and see my skills as a medium to encourage people. I feel particularly drawn towards women because life as a woman can be quite challenging that often you feel as thou the entire world wants a piece of you. However in the midst of it all God brings out the best in you through your situations.

Throwback Thursday - Baby Face

Friends called me baby face at this point in my life, and I must have been like 20 or so. That period must be my lowest weight as an adult, I was under 55kg. I was in third year in Uni, and looked like I should still be in secondary school. What I want to know is how do I get back to that weight? And that face too, lol..

Vacation Time - Van Vicker and Family in Paris

Sometimes you just need to take a break, and that is what Van Vicker and his wife did, and they took the children along too. Check out more pictures below, and see pictures of other celebrities here.

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon Renew Vows in Disneyland

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon usually renew their wedding vows on each of their anniversaries - last year they renewed their vows in Paris at the Eiffel Tower [see post] - and this year is no different. That is, they did renew their vows, but this time it was a family affair with their twins, and they set it in Disneyland.

High School Students Hold Integrated Prom in Georgia

Race in America is still a touchy subject even in 2013 with the President being black and having won his second term just months ago. Dating across race lines is even touchier. While no one should be coerced into dating outside their race if they don't want to, there are those who do, and yet feel walled in by decades of racism and segregation.

Students of Wilcox County in Georgia bucked against the trend last weekend when they pulled off an integrated prom. For as long as anyone can remember, according to CNN, "Wilcox County High School hasn't sponsored a prom for its 400 students. Instead, parents and their children organize their own private, off-site parties, known casually as white prom and black prom -- a vestige of racial segregation that still lives on. Mareshia and her friends bucked 40 years of local customs this month by organizing their own integrated prom, a formal dance open to Wilcox County's white, black, Latino and Asian high school students."

Why I Hate School But Love Education

Can I say that I do not completely agree with the message of this video. While the lines about mixed messages coming from authority is right on point, and while education and exams may need to be reformed and students given more room to explore their individuality, calling schools obsolete at this stage may be taking things too far. Some parts of the spoken word;

This one is for my generation. The ones who found what they were looking for on Google. The ones who followed their dreams on twitter. The ones who pictured their future on Instagram. Accepted their destiny on Facebook...

Someone said, "Give anything a rhythm and say it to solemn music and you'll sound powerful." And that is true a lot about spoken word performed. It's hard to know whether you simply like the performance or it's the message that touches you. The message in the quote above sounds very juvenile, but I shouldn't be surprised, the speaker is a young man.