When I come across instances of unrequited love, I feel a small pinch in my emotions, or a mighty big pinch depending on who's telling the story. That's because even though true love has healed my heart I have felt that pinch in a personal way, mostly during my adolescent years of secret crushes.
You see a guy you like, you get to know them and they like you too. You begin to want to think yourself in love with them, but wait for it, they love someone already. You're like, shoot me now. Yeah, I know that's a bit dramatic, right?
Blame Les Miserables, the movie musical that came out Christmas day with Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway among others. There are several strands of stories in the movie, but this is not a review (which is coming soon btw), so I'm only going to talk about one of them - a love triangle with some characters.
Eponine (in the picture above) loves Marius, he loves Cosette, he only wants to be friends with Eponine. Wait, there's more! Marius also wants Eponine to help him find and romance Cosette. This is no longer a pinch, talk about a dagger to the heart. Hmm...let me not lie, I cried for Eponine.
After we came back from the movie, I read a few articles on the unrequited love scenario, now popularly referred to as friend zoning, and most of them seem to assume that only men are friend-zoned. I can assure you that women get friend-zoned too by men they are interested in, and may have even openly expressed their love, only to have it thrown back to their face.
But whether it happens to a man or a woman, it is not a place I wish on anyone. I know it is futile to think that each person should only fall for those that'll love them back, but I can't help wishing it.
Who else has ever felt that pinch of unrequited love, or been friend-zoned? How does it feel?
Hurts like hell, and am still there.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you :(
DeleteBeing Friend Zoned hurts like all the time,She comes around and complain about the other person. in your head u be like don`t u know i can love U more? :)
ReplyDeleteHearing about that is the worst part!
Deleteoh, say that again! smh
Deletei need to see this movie. i love musicals.
ReplyDeleteThen you'll love Les Miserables
DeleteSituations like this remind me of that Deborah Cox song "We Can't Be Friends" (sorta). I don't have time for friend-zone nonsense. If i want to be your lady and you just want me to be your lady-friend then we might as well not even bother ourselves with the awkwardness. I refuse! lol
ReplyDeleteYou know those times when the head knows what it has to do but the heart only knows what it wants? SMH...
DeleteThe friend zone sucks major balls men...Especially when rather than a gentle put down you get a 'maybe' that stretches interminably..
ReplyDeleteIt sure sucks! Lol...
DeleteIt sucks. I have been there since year 2 of uni. People usually think I am stupid, but well, I will rather have the friendship than nothing else.
ReplyDeleteYou have a strong mind. I only hope it works out.
DeleteOooh! I really want to see Les Miserables
ReplyDeleteIt is a lovely movie. Just take some tissues if you're a crybaby like me.
DeleteNna nawa oh...I think I might have friend zoned someone this holiday o..Abeg O..
ReplyDeleteLol...I hope you let them go too.
DeleteI need to friend zone someone asap. it just won't work and he's in so deep. I've been so reluctant to do it because i've been on the receiving end and I know how much it stings! :(
ReplyDeleteBeen there both as the one being zoned and the one doing the zoning!
ReplyDeleteBlessings....
ReplyDeleteUnrequited Love can be devastating, when we are faced with it however we are confronted with the tasks/notion of loving ourselves beyond what we "feel" for another whom does not return our love. We must value ourselves and do what true love requires and that is to accept, let go and move forward by nurturing ourselves, creating healthy outlets, strengthening our sense of worth and honoring our spirit.
I can never be "friend zoned".. Would rather walk away from the dude than let my emotions be tortured.
ReplyDeleteFriend zone is a waste of time. It hurts like hell but is best to walk ben there done that. One misses the door God will open but we have to close the window first
ReplyDeletedon't remember being friend-zoned... I like to walk away and come back when I have dealt with my emotions
ReplyDeleteHave zoned and been zoned. Still in one zone sef :s
ReplyDeleteI have friend zone and been friend zoned...seriously I never knew how much it hurts till I was friend zoned... I want to watch Les Miserables.
ReplyDeleteOne of the things I discovered about myself in 2012 was that I am a hopeful romantic. Being a hopeless romantic is a lot more better.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I am a fan of been friend-zoned. I think I am just happy I am not the one breaking her heart and all. If we face the facts, everyone in a relationship has someone he/she will friend-zone somewhere, sometimes online.
I don't see anything wrong in being friend-zoned. I wouldn't admit it publicly but I do truly enjoy it. Most times it's the only way you can really learn how a girl's mind really works.
That said, I'll be waiting for more girls to come friend-zone me.
P.S. I don't friend-zone.
I don't know which hurts more being friend-zoned or sister-zoned...?
ReplyDeleteGosh sister-zoned is like the worst, both your families are friends and you are so comfortable together. Hanging out, playing scrabble and sharing the word. Everyone else thinks There is something more. Meanwhile he just sees you as one of his boys (infact he once called me is brother (yep not even sister). And he tells you about his crushes and teases you about guys. When all the time you guys are together you are swooning. When you think you are over him, then the feels start all over again. Sigh* I'll just shut up now. Sister-zone is Definately the worst.
DeleteI know I have zoned others too. So I can understand it both ways
Feelings*
ReplyDeleteHave dished it and have received. Now singing ala Michel Buble "That's life"!!
ReplyDeleteLes Miserables is coming out in UK Cinemas on my birthday. Looking forward to the Weepy bday treat. lolsob
Yeah it really hurts
ReplyDeleteI'm consoling myself that it's only a crush and will fade soon, lol
All this zoning una be PDP. I thinks its always been a double whamy for me. I've friend zoned 6 of my classmates from secondary school through university and neva been in a full fledged relationship
ReplyDeletei've been friend zoned once but we ended up dating for 2yrs.i've friend zoned countless guys.such is life...hearts are meant to be broken!!!
ReplyDeleteI am the Oga at the top of unrequited love, lol. Been on both sides a number of times. I hope I am always sensitive when I am the one that can't give love back cos I know how much it fucking hurts. In my case though, I know for sure that I do not lead anyone on. I always say exactly how I feel so nobody gets hurt but I have had a case where the guy really thought I would somehow with time, love him and it was really really hard to not to hurt him. I know I did, no matter how sensitive and kind I was. Then, my own cases of unrequited love, now when I look back, I still can't imagine why anybody would put themselves through that kind of suffering. It was hardcore. It was terrible. The constant "hoping" but the worst part I think, is the feeling of "rejection" that comes with it. Especially if the person then falls for somebody else. However, as one gets older, I think its easier to read the signs early on and be careful about the people you have "crushes" on so it does not develop into more than it should. I mean, it still hurts but now you know you will get over it and someone else will always come along. And anyway, most of the time though, one always looks back and says "Thank God I did not end up with him" so if you can think that it will be like that, then you get over it faster.
ReplyDelete