A Nollywood actress made the news recently when in a recent interview, she advised single ladies this;
Let me explain something to you; where are the single guys? They are there and not ready to marry. If the single guys are not ready then the next available option should be taken. I believe one should go for whatever makes one happy. If a married man is the one that will make you happy, please go for it. I know married women would be angry with me but it is the truth of the matter".
I am not going to say much because one could misconstrue my comments as being influenced by my marital status. My question is, does she have a point? Knowing that a number of men spend more quality time with their mistresses than they do with their wives [Married Men Spend Valentine with Girlfriends], maybe the better question is, should married men ask single ladies out?
Haba Myne...this shouldn't even be on your blog **strollingon**
ReplyDeleteErmmm .....why?
DeleteHmm I kinda agree with Chika. I'm not sure why this should be up for discussion at all. I'm not yet married before it seems like i'm a bitter married woman but why should we even look at the pros and cons of a married man dating a single woman. Why should we even discuss if a married man should ask a single lady out. Would that stop them? and would it stop the "smart" single women who say yes to their advances? hmmmmm
DeleteWhat I found even more interesting than a woman condoning infidelity (people tend to think it pains us more) was this do-or-die attitude she had about marriage. If we think about it, what she is really saying is that marriage is so compulsory that if you can't find the ideal single guy, settle for a married guy- just as long as you get married. Na by force??? Isn't the whole point of marriage wanting to be with a specific person for the rest of your life, not just wanting to be Mrs X? Naija people haff tire me.
ReplyDeleteMyne can put whatever she wants on her blog.but myne i don't understand your answer.You didn't say anything at all so what will u be misconstrued for? you wouldn't mind Atala asking a single girl out?
ReplyDeleteAh, you don't know? I've been begging Atala to marry second wife since, and we're still considering Verastic, though she's not single any more :)
DeleteMyne, we're from the same village of Sarcasia; where we speak sarcasm as a first language. :D
DeleteNo one should be encouraged to be responsible for any hitch, talk less of adultery, in a marriage. It is a dangerous, dangerous, and quite not-well-thought-out statement this actress made.
Ladies, pls let us look at the prevailing economic situation before casting aspersion on this lady (doesn't mean i like her ways though). The situation of the economy of our country makes it tough for a young guy (ripe for marriage) to take the golden step into marriage, except for a select few. Where will they live? Should he take her to his fathers house? How many of you girls of today will live in your father in-laws house? Can you manage to leave with him with his meagre salary (especially the seemingly righteous and hardworking guys that abhors crime and yahoo yahoo)? And the example goes on and on...
DeleteThe reality is that with the way materialism has taken over the value system- all in the name of survival; married men will be a better choice for the single ladies of today. Coupled with the fact that there is free money in the system, concentrated mainly in the hands of age 40s and above (you hardly find anyone in this bracket unmarried).
Let us get the economy right, have sustainable growth and create opportunities for young graduates due for marriage. Then, we will have young men with LEGITIMATE capacity to take their bride down the aisle. And you know what, their values, belief and gender roles are also uncompromised.
P.S. Single ladies should in the meantime focus on achieving other accomplishments outside marriage, pending when the economy changes or they clamour for change and stop the "wetin consign me" attitude. #wink#
Some marriages are made in heaven, not all married men spend valentines day with girlfriends. A man that cheats on his wife is an unintellient man my dear,smart men don't go for gabbage.a decent man doesn't chase 100 girls but make 99 jealous of one!
ReplyDeleteHmmm...What a question ? Don't allow a myopic thinking actress's comments on sensitive issue(s) such as this, becloud your sense of reasoning. I called it sensitive because it is a matter that borders on morality, fidelity and veracity of marriage. How could a full grown woman, an adult makes such a flippant comment on a soft sell paper? And she's a role model to some younger girls, right ? Anyways, that's her level of understanding. I'm a spinter, yes, but I wouldn't stoop so low to befriend or marry an already married man. We Africans learn so fast from the western world. The way you keep your mat is the way you lay on it... (My own take on this view). Good attracts Good. Chantella Money
ReplyDeleteMistress will always be an intruder,no man ever intends to leave his wife for any girlfriend,they are just play tinz but most of them force their ways in. Some men's besties are their wives so madam mistress you wil never get the best of him,just a pinch cos she got the best. You can only give him sex which he will get tired of one day but you can't ave quality friendship with him. And he will always hide you,who dares you to come out in the open, even if you become 2nd wife, you will always be an outcast,even in the sight of God! Mssheewww
ReplyDeleteLekwa ajuju!
ReplyDeleteUhm.... Biko who is this Nollywood actress? God should not allow me to curse someone out this evening
ReplyDeletebull crap! and other single ladies will be after her man when she is married. it's just ugh! anyone who take what does not belong to him or her is a what? ________ . Yes, that's what I personally feel about it.
ReplyDeleteand a married man asking me out puts one thing in my head, "he won't be faithful to me in d long run"
The actresss is lola alao abi na ajao! All dis after one or two kids,stretched marks infested yoruba actresses NONI
ReplyDeleteIt is quite strange that something like this is even a question at all. Virtually all married women with no exception will take kindly to the thought of sharing their beau with another though the many who have found themselves in this situation have resigned to fate. How will you then dare to suggest that a single lady should be dating a married man.
ReplyDeleteWe accept polygamy...... so what's the problem again?
ReplyDeleteNo, single ladies should not date married men, but from time immemorial men have also been polygamous in nature they find it hard to stick to just one woman. Only a few who are born again christians or highly principled are faithful to their spouse.
ReplyDeleteIf amarried man makes you happy ke? You cannot build happiness on another person's unhappiness.
ReplyDelete