James is my first love, I am not his but I felt like it, he was evidently in love with me and all over me at the same time. We dated for approximately four years before he vanished. I just didn't hear from him, his mobile number never went through again, he had moved and i didn't smell him for good two years. Before the count of two years, I moved on, I met people, I made new friends and an exceptional man; Gregory.
I started dating Gregory shortly after James disappeared from my life. Gregory is the best man any woman could ask for, my family likes him, we have the same religious belief (unlike James, who after all still accepted me that way), he is extremely caring and generous to me. Of recent he established a business of over two million naira for me and he proposed , due to the love and gratitude I have for him, I accepted and we are both looking forward to being together forever. He has started his own wedding plans already!
Less than 48 hours ago, I got a call from an unknown number and it was James. He told me he has been out of the country and he's back to settle down with me. He sounded just like the adorable man that was very much in love with me. I asked him why he didn't reach out to me for that long and he said my friend never gave him my right mobile no.
I still love him, despite the hurt I felt when he vanished, I don't know what to do. James has been my better-half since I began to know what they call love, I never for once thought we would do without each other, yes we didn't see or hear from each other for over 20 months but I feel miserable right now. I don't know what to do! If I let go of James again, I doubt if I will ever be happy and I won't forgive myself if I leave Gregory after all he has done for me and my family!
Please I am loosing my mind! I need help! I need opinions! I might just go crazy!
I'd stay stick with Gregory since you've said he's "the best man any woman could ask for". He sounds like the better and much safer option, you don't know what it is James really wants or if he will leave you again like he did in the past. No matter that he was going abroad, if he really loved you and respected you, he would have told you rather than just disappearing.
ReplyDeleteI don't trust men who disappear and then always have excuses. RUN from James. Whether you love Gregory enough to marry him is your call.
ReplyDeleteI would say run from James, the world is now a global village, if he really wanted to contact you am sure he would by all means do so. Besides, 2years without communication is just too much, he might not be the same person again. My own candid opinion is that you stay with Gregory if u are convinced enough to marry him. Peace!
ReplyDeleteWomen sha....someone that disappeared from your life in over 20months is back and your thinking of getting together? do you know if life has changed him to someone you dont know? And I dont believe in loving two people either because you cant love them equally, If you indeed loved james, you wouldnt have fallen in love with Gregory and would have found all means to get in touch with James and James would have too. The right question is do you love Gregory enough to marry him and not cheat on him with James whom you have a soft spot for? Follow your heart and I hope it leads you to the right path....Marriage is not a joke, your spending the rest of your life with that same person so be wise and may God help you.
ReplyDeleteSimply what Bose said. Do not marry Gregory out of gratitude. Make sure you wanna be with him. Absolutely, run away from James. If you love him and you can't live without him and all that tosh, be ready for anything that may happen. I believe you're thinking the grass is greener on the other side and you are looking for excitement and adventure. Stay with the faithful man
ReplyDeleteTwo things:
ReplyDeleteFirst; In this 2013 there is almost no excuse for someone not being able to locate you if they are actually trying. Between phone, snail mail, and the abundance of social media...yeah, no!
Second: How in the world did you manage to meet, fall in love with, and plan to marry another guy in a year and half if you were so in love with the first guy?
You are too Gbaski! (Correct)!
DeleteThe people from your village are toying with your senses and you are allowing them. Biko free Gregory and let him find some other sensible girl. As for James, he will soon lose your number again, no be curse.
ReplyDeleteAnon 12.06am wa gbayi
ReplyDeleteBabe, don't be a learner. John is a player! Don't allow his sweet mouth and maybe good sex confuse you!
ReplyDeleteJames sound like he went to jail, he likely was locked up and just got deported, so he reached out to you again. Stick with the man who is uplifting you in all ways, Gregory was there to pick up the pieces of your broken heart when James disappeared into thin air. Gregory has proven himself not just by word of the mouth, but also by his actions to ensure your success and giving you something you can call your own. Now you twisting yourself into a pretzel because this idiot has reappeared in your life at the time when you are making big moves. You really blind, and don't see that the principalities in high places are playing with you my dear? You really can't see that this is an opportunity to derail your happiness and have you acting like a damn fool of which you will reap bitter grapes down the road? Spiritual fight is on for your joy, only you can decide who will win. You have treasure in your hands and you want to turn it in for dust, and dust that has already proven itself to be useless, not even fitting for planting anything to grow, James is barren soil! I wish I was close to you to give you big ass slap to knock some sense in your head.
ReplyDeleteThis question of wanting to go back to the ex is even annoying! Even if you aren't in love with Greg, don't go back to James. He has absolutely no right to come back just to destroy your peace. Who leaves someone they're dating without telling where they're going, no communication afterwards, then 2 years extra! And he has the guts to claim wrong phone number? He's a liar! Women surprise me o! Babe, love alone isn't enough for certain decisions.
ReplyDeleteSweetheart biko stop being silly. Who goes back to a guy like James? Was it whirlwind that took him to whatever country he went to? If he loved you that much,shouldn't you be involved in his travelling plans? Do you know where he has been and wot he's been doing? He gave the most stupid excuse,"getting the wrong number" isn't there any other means of reaching u? How can you believe such a cheap lie and sheepishly wanna follow James again? Gregory has been there for you,fine! That's not enough to marry him though,but I know if u didn't feel anytin for him,u won't be engaged to him. You better wise up and don't let any confused James confuse you.
ReplyDeleteWell as igbo people will say, if u know how to pound then pound in the mortar but if not pound on the ground. I can't believe that people like u this exist on this planet earth. If u like go back to Ben Johnson soon u will know what u did to yourself. I wish I know the new man in your life, I will let him to loose your number. U are complete ewu hausa.
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ReplyDeleteyou are a wicked woman! I hope you dont make greg mad and he starts treating future women the way you are about to treat him.. like his your second choice ! first of all, your number one mistake was making greg your rebound! yes he was your rebound. you were not over james before heading into a new relationship. I want to believe greg loves you and worships the floor you step on and I think you don't deserve him! why will James all of a sudden come back from wherever and you just jump! after what he put you through! and that lie he gave you about wrong number smh! any man that loves you will look for a way to contact you!! and you chopped the lie! you have not seen this mr james for a while.. you want to go back to him, what makes you think things will be the same ?
ReplyDeleteI think you should break up with greg, it will be difficult but that is what you should do! he deserve someone that loves him the way he loves you. You may try to love him but deep down you will never be satisfied.
We all need to be happy and not live a life with regrets, you feel you will be better off with james ? then so be it, you will be happy and greg will find happiness somewhere.
Dear myne, I love the manner your blog visitors write in full words and not shorten their words like the visitors from other blogs do. RomanceMeetsLife blog visitors a very big kudos to you... Peace!
ReplyDeleteDo what you want :) Disappearing guy will disappear sha and you may be hurt. Reliable guy will be reliable, and you may be bored.
ReplyDelete"I doubt I will ever be happy" is kindof a ridiculous thing to say sha for somebody that is supposed to be making a major life decision on who their roommate, shagmate, and baby daddy will be FOR LIFE. Maybe it's the love overwhelming your mind, or maybe you're just immature. If the guy (God forbid) died now, you think you'll never be happy, abi you go die follow am? Even in The Titanic, the sharp woman lived on happily just with great memories. Maybe you should press pause. Stay with reliable guy but don't marry, make disappearing guy wait at least 20 months, by then your hormones would have calmed down and you'll have a better sense of what you want. I know chics like to think it's now or nothing and guys definitely drive a hard bargain, both guys would try to force you to decide immediately, since they actually have the common sense to make it all about them. You just remember that there are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many other makes out there that if they can't abide by your wishes they can move on. My dear, you will be happy with or without either of these people.
"males" not makes
DeleteWell, I would be there I would not have even thought about a person who left me alone and disappeared. A person, who can do it once, can do it many times without any problem.
ReplyDeletemy own candid opinion is seek God face and as for James erased him from you mind cos if someone loves you..... he will make everything purpose to get u....even if the person is in Belgium...he will locate you.
ReplyDeleteyou must be crazy if u want to leave greg!!!! CRAZYYYYY
ReplyDelete