Please somebody help. I just got married to a virgin who is 37. I am 47. We tried having sex but with some difficulties. We made several attempts, but i could not penetrate or get through. In the process, frustrations set in. We had doses of romances and foreplay which we enjoyed though but that is not the real thing.
We used jelly and some advices but all to no avail. I used my fingers ( one, then two) but she always cried in pain. We need counsel to enjoy our sex without frustrations. Please help. I wrote this with the consent of my wife.
She needs to relax there will be no penetration unless she is relaxed. If all else fails then you can opt to have a medical penetration where the Gynae medically breaks the hymen (using instruments ooo) so it will be much easier to penetrate her. Maybe she had all sorts of horror stories about losing one's virginity that are making her scared and not relaxed, Seeing a sex therapist may also be good and watching soft porn made for such purposes can also be used the kind of sex programme that is shown on late night TV for educational purposes.If she is upto it she can do it herself using a dildo that is if she is upto it. Relaxation is key
ReplyDeleteYou can use tips from this post about penetration http://www.romancemeetslife.com/2014/01/advice-corner-were-having-difficulty.html
ReplyDeleteWhy is she a virgin @ 37? Can you elaborate? Was it by choice. Its atypical to meet a woman who is still a virgin at that age. She's 3 years shy of 40!
ReplyDeleteUnless the answer to that question is going to help with the solution you are going to proffer, then I do not see what it has got to do with anything related to this couple, the post or anything at all for that matter! #JustSaying
DeleteYour question sounded okay at first but with the exclamation marks at the end of 40, you sound judgmental. It's none of your gaddamn business why she is a virgin at 37.
DeleteMost nuns remain virgins till they die. And your point is?
DeleteTo anonymous #1: Why didn't you give a solution instead of asking me what my question meant? How have you helped this couple? I want to know more about the circumstances surrounding the issue at hand. I am free to ask any question I want as long as it is not offensive. You should be thinking of offering them solutions instead? Your shutting me down is not helping them none.
DeleteTo anonymous #2: Its none of my goddam business? The woman in question is not upset...yet YOU are? Please sit down ok? And I respected the first portion of your comment until you decided to go judgmental on me. Fact is there is a reason our lady in question held on to her virginity for so long. There is absolutely nothing wrong in my asking why in order to offer a well tailored opinion.
To anonymous #3: Fact is she is not a nun. She wants sex and she wants it badly. She is a married woman whose vaginal muscles cannot stretch to accommodate a penis and she needs your help. Bottom line. Come out from under your anonymous shell and offer her some tangible solutions. But until you know the history behind both their problems, I count you can help. No wonder all you 3 are "anonymous."
She probably has a condition called Vaginismus which is an involuntary tightening of the vagina during attempted intercourse. I would suggest looking it up on the internet to have an idea and then visiting the gynaecologist for treatment and yes, it is highly treatable without using drugs or surgery. I hope you have a wonderful sex life in your marriage.
ReplyDeleteI would suggest seeing a doctor. It is highly fixable. If she is afraid of the pain, then she can be penetrated surgically under local anesthesia and that might make her more welcoming to your advances.
ReplyDeleteI wish you guys all the best.
See a professional
ReplyDeleteI would advice that you search and purchase THE ACT OF MARRIAGE>THE BEAUTY OF SEXUAL LOVE by Tim and Beaverly LA HAYE.A book that has in it all solutions in making love,marriage and its success.kindly do that.you won't be frustrated
ReplyDelete