I bet the factual and blunt ones already know why,well there are exceptions, for those who attach no strings to polygamy, it's not a dead end ( maybe more of a ghost end now) but I will like to remind such ladies that it certainly doesn't end there. Another beautiful lady is still coming after you, so be prepared!
On the other hand, I hope nobody is as naive to think whatever married man they are involved with will leave his wife, soul mate( forget about the issues he told you they have, it's called FORMAT), long time best friend and to cap it all, mother of his kid(s) for them. His major focus anyway is on the fact that he has money, he has some little attention to spare (no matter how much or little attention he gives you, it's is stolen! from his home, I mean his wife and kid(s), and you should expect no more.
To be clear, they have no substantial reason for coming after you, they just like to muse themselves, apart from the fact that there might be other "you/s", you don't feature in his life plan, you own no place in his heart, just his schedule pads, he can't present you in some places even if he wants to, zero chances to feel the core friendship and closeness you could have with someone you foresee a future with and wants to be with you for more than a short while! It's a relationship with no prospect.
In the process of that and to your own disadvantage, opportunities of being with a better SINGLE guy is totally cut out because most likely you not only tell people you are seeing someone, you act it but you are so considerate of him, you keep it discreet. It's going no where, while wasting your time and some other valuables he is going to end it anyway.
If you think you are smart, you want to date a married man because of his money or some other reasons, well then make it clear to both parties, his money for your whatever and it's a WIN-WIN( in your dictionary), but leaving with a broken heart, while he continues his well planned journey is a self inflicted disaster. For the umpteenth time, no matter how much he claims he loves you, 'thy should not be swayed', he is just into you, he's not going to leave his wife and no matter how ugly it gets his wife will accept him back. If all thoughts are left out, that of the children will stand!
He will leave if you don't, either way you are not happy and it all ends with "I AM SORRY"...
I will always keep at saying this, we all deserve to be totally loved and forever wanted by that special someone, in this situation, the married guy already got his, go find yours, he is out there!
I keep hearing this but what about that minority that actually leave madam for mistress, or worse still, maid?
ReplyDeleteI agree with both parties stating clearly what they both expect to get from the transaction but seeing as humans are not robots emotions almost always come into play, and you find that you're no longer satisfied with just his money but now you want his time and attention. That said, the majority of mistresses actually don't want him to leave madam for them because unfortunately, even if only for a while, they're the recipients of his love, time, money, gifts, trips to exotic places etc.
I wish husbands would learn to exercise some self-control so that all these pieces written in order to deter the mistresses would no longer be necessary.
I have always said that a mistress owes the wife no apology, none whatsoever. It is the husband who made a vow to God and you that has betrayed you. The husband is to blame, no one but the HUSBAND.
It worked for Angelina Jolie and LeAnn Rimes (who likes to throw it in the ex wife face on Twitter -- her boys the husband and the sons). Not saying cheating is right but, these single women will see those two stars as a way to believe anything is possible.
ReplyDeleteLoved this post but I have a question. What is your opinion on dating a guy with kids (not 1 or 2)? I don't know what happened to his wife(never seen her in church with him) & am inclined to "believe" that he is either divorced ir separated.
ReplyDeleteNot my business o! But from what I've just read you and said guy aren't even friends yet (you don't know details/facts, you "believe" etc) so I can't help but wonder why you're talking about dating him....
DeletePardon my typos.
Deletethank you jare Thoughts
DeleteI'm too tired to write a long story but the write-up above is very deficient. You assume that the married man is just out to play a game. In some cultures, e.g. in Northern Nigeria, some men and some women are conditioned for polygamy and it works out well for them.
ReplyDeleteI think more often than not, it is the married men hitting on the single ladies. In general, married men know how to tug at ladies heart strings, and they are incredibly resilient at taking repeated knock backs and rejections.
ReplyDeleteMy advice to single ladies is FLEE. Don't listen to all that mushy, deceptive talk that will melt your insides. And if he's your boss, quit the job (if you can afford it).