Five Ways to Rekindle Romance Between the Sheets

For many couples, sex plays an important role in their overall relationship satisfaction. Sometimes it is the physically and mentally positive impacts sex has on the body, and other times it is the simple act of creating intimacy that has an effect.

Whatever the case may be, keeping the fire alive can be a challenge in long-term relationships and marriages. Both parties can feel bogged down by responsibility, disconnected, and out of sync. Here are a few ways you and your partner can rekindle things between the sheets.

Share Some Adult Content

One way to spice things up in the bedroom is to enjoy some adult content together. Whether you choose to peruse adult oriented websites, read erotica, or view tasteful yet seductive images, the shared experience can add a spark.

Be sure to discuss what you and your partner are comfortable with before deciding on an activity. While you might enjoy the idea of watching porn, you partner could find it offensive or distasteful. As such, this experience opens up a conversation about what you and your partner enjoy, inspiring ideas for future bedroom sessions and clarifying what is off the table.

Change the Dynamic

If your bedroom activity tends to fall into the same pattern every time, change one of the elements and the overall dynamic of your bedroom play. If you usually turn the lights off, leave them on this time. If you usually start your session in bed, start it standing. These subtle shifts can create excitement and change the overall experience.

If changing the dynamic works for you, challenge your partner to take the lead the next time and alter one of the variables of their choosing. Just don’t be surprised if all of a sudden they proposition you in the kitchen!

Incorporate Different Materials

Find and try different toys and aids that might help change the sensations you feel or improve the quality of your sex life. Couples will often shy away from the use of toys, accessories, and lubrication because they feel it belittles their abilities as a lover. In reality, these tools can be used to enhance and develop the skills you already possess.

Toys are also a great way to practice on yourself and determine what "you" like before bringing it forth to your partner. After all, if you haven’t figured out what you prefer in the bedroom, how are they supposed to know?

Define Your Barriers and Make A ‘Get Action’ Plan

Knowing there are external factors impacting your sex life is one thing, but identifying exactly what they are is quite another. When you define what’s holding you back-- late bedtimes leading to exhaustion, excessive stress after work-- you can create an action plan (or a get action plan in this case) to work around the issue.

If you are staying up too late before going to bed, go to bed earlier to allow time for intimacy. If you are too stressed out to get in the mood, incorporate a relaxation routine before bedtime to help you unwind. Don’t feel pressured to make all these changes at once. Start making the changes one day a week that best suit your schedule, and grow from there.

Talk More

While talking more may seem counter-intuitive in a world that promotes “less talk, more action,” communication is a critical aspect of developing intimacy. Get away from distractions and talk about your day. Talk about your goals and what your ideal sexual relationship with your partner would look like. Create a better emotional and mental connection as a foundation for improving your physical relationship.

Remember to use effective communication strategies: “I feel” statements rather than blaming, and listening to hear rather than listening to respond. Check your ego at the door and get ready to reconnect with your significant other. In the end, you’ll both be better--and feel better-- for your efforts.