Short Story - Ja-mis. One Hell Of A Driver

By Onyinye Orabuike

I once worked with a driver whom we all know as Ja-mis. His name is spelt James but he pronounces it as Ja-mis, the funny aberration suited his overall make-up just fine and it stuck. As a marketer then, I had worked with different kinds of drivers, but this Ja-mis beat all the records.

Jamis was one hell of a driver. He had sworn to our transportation manager that interviewed him that he had five years experience as a driver in V/Island. This was in addition to two years experience as a mechanic. I had specifically requested for someone that knows V/I and Lagos Island roads very well, but it turned out James didn’t know anywhere on the island.

Short Story - Spending Christmas With The Police

By Onyinye Orazulike

Would you surety someone for court bail? I did this once and got my fingers severely burnt. I thought I was doing a good thing but the person I stood in for absconded and left me feeling empty and stupid.

The lady was arrested a few days to Christmas and I couldn't stand to imagine the kind of hell she would go through in detention. Also, only God knew how long the case would last, especially when she didn’t have anyone to help her in the police. She couldn’t even afford a lawyer to begin with, worse still she appeared so ignorant she didn’t seem to realise the kind of trouble she was in.

Ignorance, Sex, Relationships and Religion - Who Is Fooling Who?

By Onyinye Orabuike

Once two men walked into our Lagos office and demanded to speak with the manager. They offered to do a comprehensive computerised health check for us, and they said it was for free. Why not? They started with Dan. They got to me last and I was eager to begin.

They inserted something that looked like a pencil with liquid inside and asked me to hold still. I was a little surprised that was all they came with for the test. I sort of expected to see a large computer screen that would outline all my organs and their state of health. He read the liquid pencil and told me I had lucomasto...., it was no use attempting to pronounce it so I asked him the implications instead.

Short Story - One Chance Christmas

By Onyinye Orabuike

It's a couple of days into the month of December, and in church Last Sunday, the minister prayed for us for Christmas gift from heaven, and the church members chorused amen as if their lives depended on it. People are pressed to meet up with different targets they set for themselves for the year. Men who had their mind set on the dream car they want to take home for Christmas are making frantic bids to maximise sales.

Single ladies who believe that this year will not pass them by are intensifying prayers. I learnt that in some forums parents who for some reasons may not be able to travel to the village for Christmas make special plans for their daughters that are of marriageable age to travel so as to increase their chance of meeting suitors.

Nigerian Elections 2015 - Would Our Votes Really Count?

By Onyinye Orabuike

I got registered for the INEC voters’ card today, finally. I feel very good because they told us that today is to be the last day of registration at the districts and any one that failed to register there would have to do so at the local government INEC office.

I had an important appointment for today but had to postpone it so that I could leave early. My husband was at the venue as early as six o’clock to put down our names. I couldn’t go that early because I had to drop the children in school. Just as I left the school, my husband called and said I should come to the venue immediately as there was a new development.

Short Story - The Witches of Okpolo

By Onyinye Orabuike

I once shared a room with a cousin that killed mosquitoes on the wall. I tried to tell her it wasn’t right, but she would have none of it.

The sight of the dirty blood stains all over the walls made me feel as though I was living in a hunter’s bedchamber, and there was no escape. Each time I raise this with her she would accuse of being a terribly deep sleeper which explained why I could even tolerate both the mosquito bites and their sorrowful dirge.

Sex Toys Are Fast Becoming More Fashionable In Nigeria

By Onyinye Orabuike

Is it my Imagination or is sex toys fast becoming fashionable?

Certainly not all women use dildo and sex toys for sexual gratification. But the realization that the number of people that indulge in such pastime may be much higher than I had imagined came as a rude shock.  Much as I have tried, I have not been able to grasp what on earth could be the cause.

The discovery was quiet accidental. Sometime last week, I came across a face book post in a wonderful women group that I joined. Someone advertised a dildo, with several pictures, and she really did a good job of demonstrating its unique features and benefits.

In Defence of The Bad Man

By Onyinye Orabuike

Back in my university days in Zaria, I had chance on a horrifying scene; three armed robbers had just been lynched.

They were healthy young men, unclad bodies strewn across the busy road in varied unsightly death postures, each in a pool of his blood. They had been thoroughly beaten and later shot.  Motorists and cyclists tried to avoid driving over the bodies as they manoeuvred their vehicles past.

Selfish Little Tots - The Stiff Price Of Parenting

Onyinye Orabuike

My daughter Nina will be two in January, but her grandfather already wants another grandchild. He started asking me if we are expecting another one soon when she was just eight months.

We went down to Ogun State to see them as we usually do at the end of each month. Grandpa really had me there that day when he played with the baby then asked me after the younger one. Grandpa is pushing ninety and I was assuming he was mixing things up as he does sometimes.

Infidelity Double Standards Through The Eyes Of A Non-Feminist

By Onyinye Orabuike

I have never been accused of being a feminist, neither do I hope to be mistaken for one.

In truth I am not particularly passionate about the plight of women. I found out early that my sentiments are painfully unpopular among girls my age whose goals were either to get married to a very wealthy man and live a life of ease, or ditch men altogether and make their own way in life.

Short Story - The Lesson of True Love

By Onyinye Orabuike

Once there lived a strong and handsome he goat, Tabi. At his prime, Tabi met and fell in love with the young and beautiful daughter of the lion. The love that sprung between them that beautiful summer grew and blossomed, as everyone watched. Theirs was true love.

Short Story - The Day Boko Haram Killed My Brother

By Onyinye Orabuike

The day started like any other until it was not. My brother was an officer in the Nigerian Army and everyday we prayed that he would survive. He was my eldest and only brother, and had stood in for both my parents since my mother died 2 years ago. I was the youngest and never knew my father.

First, my sister called and told me our brother's latest assignment that put him face to face with the terrorists and something was wrong. I couldn't believe it and dialled my brother's line immediately.

The Thin Line Between Insanity And The Desperation To Get Married

By Onyinye Orabuike

I remember one time we were talking about Nonye's boyfriend whom she said is a good guy but that she couldn’t marry him because he smoked and he is catholic. Tina told Nonye to give her the guy if she was not in a hurry to get married. We all laughed, she was only joking.