Positive Social Spaces

I want to use this opportunity to address some of the comments on the Chimamanda post. That post was not meant to offend anyone, but to correct the impression some people got from wrong blogs and sources about what she said the first time around. On this post, a comment actually left a link to one of such wrong information blogs .

It was unfortunate that the comments became embroiled in that which divide us. Maybe I should generally moderate comments on this blog, or have stopped the comments on that post after I saw the way it was going, but I couldn't have guessed how it would end. To anyone who was insulted or offended, I apologize. Adura Ojo, I'm glad to hear you've calmed down, this is for you too.

I may be a hypocrite, but I can never hate myself. Am I perfect? Far from it. Do I try to live a more healthy lifestyle, I do try, but I am also real and true to myself. I eat ice cream and processed foods. I know cell phones and microwaves are radioactive, but I still use them. And yes, I know relaxers may be linked to hair and general health issues, but it is my choice to use them, under advise, at this time.

Dr. Ngozi Okonjo Iweala on CNN with Christiane Amanpour

One thing that stood out to me was that she could say nothing to Alamieyesiegha's pardon. On the corruption  issue generally, she went all emotional. Oh well, what do I really expect her to say?

The transcript is below for those who would prefer to read the interview,

Couple Love at the Encomium Black and White Ball

Chinedu and Nneoma Ikedieze

I have to stop calling these posts Couple Love since it is no more just about couples in the romantic sense of it, the next one will be tagged Date Night to showcase people making a date of events, for a day or night out.

FBI releases pictures of suspects in Boston bombing

This afternoon, the FBI has released surveillance video and photos of two young men fingered as persons of interest or suspects in the twin explosions that killed 3 and injured 170 in Boston. To contact the FBI with information, call 1-800-callfbi or online at bostonmarathontips.fbi.gov.

Bringing Google+ Comments to Blogger

+Blogger as we know it is changing by the day, and that is because Google, their Oga at the top, is becoming more and more interested in going social. To boost Google Adsense in 2009, they integrated it with blogger, and some insist that sounded the death knell for blogging. I'm not sure it's a bad thing, it's very useful for me, just like this new development may be.The want G+ comments, which will work a bit like Facebook comments, to replace Blogger comments.

After experimenting with Google Wave and Google Buzz, Google+ is now the de facto social site for all things Google, and it's not surprising they want to integrate it with Blogger, another of their strong social platforms. First it was the G+ sharing buttons, then the G+ circles (which killed Friend Connect BTW), and the G+ authorship that boosts your blog's search rankings.

According to the email I received,

Once you enable Google+ Comments, people can share the comments they make on your blog to their circles in Google+, helping you reach people that they know. And there's more: mentions of your posts on Google+ automatically show up right in your blog's comments, so you can see more of people’s public conversations about your content (and private conversations you’re part of).

Designed to be Under a Man

I am honestly still mulling over the comments by Monalisa Chinda to Sunday Entertainment Express over the weekend. I was discussing it with some friends and a few of them mentioned she was just being honest to herself and her beliefs, and I applaud her for that. When asked if she would like to re-marry one day, the actress replied,

"I would love to. I am designed to be under a man. I am not going to lie that I like the single mother thing going on. I believe in marriage. Whether you like it or not, it is the best option but it's not a do or die thing though. I have been there before and if I'm going to do it again, it has to be right by the Grace of God. I am not ready to make another mistake."

So this is not about Monalisa, I'll just like us to consider the words, "designed to be under a man" and how that relates to relationships. Considering it from three levels,

1. designed to be under a man - men generally
2. designed to be under any man - any man you end up in any kind of relationship with
3. designed to be under a specific man - a man who loves you in a mutually respectful relationship.

Taking You From Friend to Fiancee

Guess how popular this book will be? I saw this cover, and the blurb below, and could only laugh. Why I am laughing? That subtitle is just classic, "Get him to want you as much as you want him without letting him know that you want him to want you", especially the second part that I underlined. The back blurb goes into more detail...

#ThrowbackThursday - Suits with Hats

Some years ago, I think around 02/03, suits were all the rage, and if you wore them to church, you had to find a matching hat. I think the timing was at the same time as the rise in pentecostal Christianity in Nigeria. I had a few suits myself, and this was my outfit at the knighthood investiture of my dad.

Check out Ibifiri in her own suit - here :)

Couple Love at the Wizard of the Law

I announced Live Theatre on Sunday's production of Zulu Sofola's Wizard of the Law, here, and it is nice to know that it got quite a great attendance. I think I also recognize one of the faces, he knows who he is, and now I'm wondering ho his date is :)

Enjoy the pictures and if you live in Lagos, try not to miss the next one.

Solomon Akiyesi et al - Lessons to Learn

Solomon Akiyesi and his many wives. From L - R Ezinne, Lillian and Uloma

After reading yesterday that Solomon Akiyesi had a previous marriage, bringing the number of his church weddings to three, I gave up. I also thought that was the end, but the saga continues as the women have begun to trade "pity me" stories to bloggers. I do pity all three women, in the sense that they are victims of a scam artist, a philandering man who does not even have the common sense to know where to draw the line.

However, I wonder if anyone is seeing this drama as a teachable moment? It could even be worthy of a Law masters or PHD thesis. The question is how seriously do Nigerians take their marriages as a legal contract? Beyond the spiritual vows, and cheating/infidelity, do men and women understand that their marriage certificate is also a binding document that represents an oath to the state? Does the confusion stem from the fact that most of our marriages are two-tiered, the customary usually coming before the registry (church or court). Does repaying a woman's bride price nullify the legally registered marriage?

Let's use the Solomon-Ezinne-Lillian Akiyesi story as a case study.

Lilian met Solomon as a little and naïve girl in 2001. There was no one married to Solomon as at then. Down the line, Solomon got married to Ezinne who said she was pregnant as at then. Lilian moved on with her life. Years later, Solomon and his family came to ask for Lilian's hand in marriage claiming that their son was deceived into marriage as Ezinne was never pregnant and was infact confirmed in the hospital to have damaged her womb a long time ago. On investigation, Solomon's family said all rites have been retrieved and dissolved of the marriage which was based on deceit.