The
door swung open, banging against the wall behind it, and she jumped back in
fright.
“I’m
so sorry…” the masculine voice trailed off and Dunni watched recognition light up
his eyes. The familiar smile began from the corner of his lips till they were
stretched wide across the pearl white teeth that had refused to leave her
memory.
“You!”
she squeaked.
“Hello,
Dunni,” he said, walking further into the room after jamming the door shut.
“I’m sorry about the door but it appeared to be wedged, hope you weren’t too alarmed.”
Dunni
didn’t know what to think. Why was he here? Had he been following her? But no
one else knew she was here. And this was the worst possible time. She had to
get him out of here. He shouldn’t be here or he would ruin her plans. But how
could she get him out? Why was he standing there, staring at her?
“You
look amazing!” He moved closer to her. “Very different from…”
“What
are you doing here?” she demanded.
“Don’t you just want to
know?” he mocked. “I’ve missed you, you know. How long has it been now? Did you
miss me? Just a little?”
____________
This is for the platform building first campaigner challenge. The rules were as follows
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem.
Begin the story with the words, “The door swung open” These four words will be included in the word count. If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), use the same beginning words and end with the words: "the door swung shut." (also included in the word count)
For those who want an even greater challenge, make your story 200 words EXACTLY!I couldn't end with "the door swung shut" but this is 200 words exactly! LOL... Thanks for reading, and please tell me what you think.
Wow Myne... Long time, no see... I liked this... It piqued my curiosity... I want to know what the back story is and what will happen next...
ReplyDeleteDefinitely hooked me. I want to know more :) Great job!
ReplyDeleteF and M! Long time indeed. Thanks dear, and welcome back.
ReplyDeleteHi raelyn, thanks!
Oh, intriguing. You can really feel the history between them.
ReplyDeleteVery captivating ma. Makes one want to know more...
ReplyDelete- LDP
Finding this blog for the first time. Great blog!Finding this blog for the first time. Great blog!
ReplyDeletenice one. love the suspense
ReplyDeletehttp://lucianochinwe.blogspot.com/
Nice!
ReplyDeleteCaptivating :)
ReplyDeleteHow do we submit entries?
ReplyDeleteInteresting conversation. Engaging, suspenseful. If this is your WiP, I bet the rest of it is well on its way to awesomeness!
ReplyDeleteGreat job, Myne! :)
I agree with LDP,makes me wanna know more.I shou;d try it sef,it's interesting.
ReplyDeleteMMh, is that an ex she has been running away from? i think i'll try this just to see if i can.
ReplyDeleteI've missed your blog Myne *sigh*
Adiya
Muse Origins Features
Muse Origins
I love it! Very good drama. I want to know what happens next, who he is, their history... Good writing!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for the comments.
ReplyDelete@Deola, I think the campaign is closed now, but feell free to write something and post on your blog. I'll love to read it.
Is this your wip? Because--if it isn't--I would love to see this as a full novel :-) I love the tension between the characters already.
ReplyDelete~I want to know if she missed him!!!!!!! I want to know what he is doing there as well!
ReplyDeleteA great intriguing piece. I could feel the tension in the air. Well written.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely makes me want the rest of the story!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by my blog. I haven't posted a story yet (frowny face), but I'm having fun reading the others!
They should have made it 400 words!! More please!
ReplyDeleteI want more but it's a nice begining. mine is #72
ReplyDeleteNice teaser!
ReplyDeleteHi from the campaign. I’m in Group 43 - Romantic Suspense, which I write as Kris Bock. I focus on writing craft at Write Like a Pro! A Free Online Writing Workshop: http://chriseboch.blogspot.com/
Thank you all.
ReplyDelete@Susan, I worked the challenge into my WIP. So this scene may make it into the novel.
Thanks, Myne... It's good to be back... Was afraid I wouldn't be able to write anything ever again! The post about writer's block on Clearly Vague was the first thing I had written in ages. Yes, I wrote it. :) My friend wanted a guest blogger so I volunteered.
ReplyDeleteThanks for checking out our blog after so long... Rather, thanks for even remembering it... lol...
nice...and you blended it with your book's story line. interesting!!!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a sweet talking man! I want to know what he's up to.
ReplyDeleteLeft me wanting more. . .
ReplyDeleteNice story - didn't feel finished though. I think you could continue it for sure!
ReplyDeleteThis makes me wonder why she wants to hide, not that he's seeing anything beyond the fact that she looks wonderful to him.
ReplyDeleteAww, I hope she's missed him!
ReplyDeleteLove your use of dialogue. I wanted to know more about this intriguing relationship. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI wish i could wrap my head around fiction writing... it would prolly take me a week to write 200 words.
ReplyDeleteThis comes close to the door slamming shut with her wanting him out of her hair. Liked the conflict going on here and intriguing things with the mysterious plans that he's about to discover.
ReplyDeleteThis is a topic that is close to my heart...
ReplyDeleteCheers! Where are your contact details though?
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