Conflict is not all bad, as resolving them helps clear the air in a relationship, and the couple could develop resolution skills that may come in handy even in other parts of their life. However, some conflicts are just so unnecessary. At the end of the day, you begin to ask yourself, what was that about sef? And do you know the funny thing? You may not even have an answer!
I know what sets me off sometimes, and that awareness ensures I catch myself before I allow my inner turmoil affect the cozy atmosphere around me. Other times, it hits me from the blind side. Like the other day, Atala was frying plantain and I was washing up in the bathroom, by the time I came out, one set of plantains were in the bin. He'd let them burn. I didn't find it funny.
When he noticed my sudden sour mood, he asked me a simple question that when I thought about it, was like a pin in my 'how can you let food waste like that' balloon. He said something along the lines of, I'm sorry, I made a mistake. Haven't you ever had a food accident before? And since we've been living and cooking together so long, of course he know the answer :)
So I got off my high horse. What ever it was that set me off was not really worth it. But it was a teaching moment as I had to think on what had happened to pinpoint the trigger.
How about you, do you usually know what causes the conflict you have with others? Any pet peeves?
Conflict seems inescapable in our human relationships but how we handle them further make or mar the relationship. If we are a little more patient, we can resolve all conflicts amicably and relate ever more closely... thanks for sharing this Myne!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome!
DeleteConflicts are a natural ingredient in relationships otherwise its boring, however, a minor issue ought not be over escalated. I sometimes unnecessarily start something but I never let it get out of hand.
ReplyDeletehttp://theglamfile.blogspot.com
I agree with you about some conflicts adding excitement to a relationship, I wouldn't want to make it a daily affair either :)
Deleteconflict are bound to happen but it depend on how it can be control as for me i will rather keep quiet than to apologise for things i say during the conflict and is really working well for us.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good strategy. I should borrow a leaf.
Deletesometimes, it's transferred aggression :(
ReplyDeleteLOL...indeed!
DeleteSince Oga moved and we've been living together, the conflict issue has been like a roller coaster...but we've slowly started learning how to handle it. He now has a better understanding of what sets me off, and I know when I'm about to lose control and I'm slowly learning to bite my tongue and pick my battles :)
ReplyDeleteIt's all thanks to God sha, e no easy!
Not easy, and it though it gets better, it keeps popping up cos I guess it's just natural. All the best to you guys.
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