While I was in the university, I dated this guy, I am a born again christian but he isn't but I loved him. He is actually a good guy. We broke up after service due to mainly distance and slight misunderstandings.
When he came back to Lagos after service, he tried to reconnect but I was already dating someone else but he kept on. He persisted until he traveled to the UK for his Masters on scholarship. Before he traveled, he told me to wait for him that he was going to come back because I was single as at the time he was living. He even introduced me to his folks but I wasn't comfortable with the distance thing. Long distance has never been my thing.
He kept in touch in the early period but started changing his mind that he won't come back to Nigeria but explore other options of going to Canada or USA. That made me change my mind. Anyways, I started dating other people and left him although true to him, he kept in touch but I had to start ignoring his calls because I was with someone else.
At the end of his programme, he got a wonderful opportunity to do his PHD and he came back to Nigeria to reconcile with me and also process his visa. When he came back, I was having issues with my relationship. I eventually broke up with that guy, and he wanted to come back to my life. True to God, I was heart broken and distraught and wasn't thinking well. I accepted him back and he processed my VISA to come see him in the UK. He paid for everything to even the shopping.
Now the dilemma, when I got to the UK, he wanted sex. I am still a virgin and never had sex before and he knows it. When we dated, we never had sex but he felt since we will be getting married, there was no need for me to hold back. I told him I couldn't because it is against my belief as a christian and I made that vow to God as early as 13 years old. I tried to explain and stuff but he wasn't satisfied.
During the weeks I stayed with him, every night was hell on earth as we would fight and argue. At a time, I almost gave up but when he wanted to start, the betrayal to God was too for me to bear and I had to tell him to stop. He felt very bad and said I used him. That I came all the way to London without having sex with him.
Now I am back to Nigeria, he hardly calls or even communicates with me. When I call, he acts strange. Note, I intend going for my masters this year in the UK on scholarship if I get one (I made good grades, first class so we are hoping for one) or save enough money for me to come over. That was our plans initially. Now he doesn't even talk about it at all.
My friends say I am to blame because I didn't spell it out that I wasn't going to sleep with him. Others say I should have just done it since we already had plans of getting married. I decided to give him space but when I couldn't hold it anymore, I broke up with him thinking it would not affect him since we hardly used to talk. But he felt so bad and called me impatient that I could not wait for him and stuff and now, we are back together.
The problem is we still do not communicate well and I feel so lonely. If I move on, he complains, if I don't, he doesn't treat me right. I have talked to him severally and made my feelings known but he still has not changed. I am seriously confused and have been praying but I don't want to lose him. I like him a lot, and he is actually a friend. He is a good man.
My question now is, should I move on or still continue waiting and be patient like he said?
It's quite simple; he wants sex, u don't. Is he ready to have a relationship where there's no sex? You should cash ur V- cheque when it's right for u. If this whole thing is based on it then save ur self some heart break. All these I want u back but I won't exactly have a relationship with u moves don't cut it. If u don't communicate we'll now, what's the reason for a marriage or relationship then? Life and indeed marriage come with their own issues, drop the extra luggage. In short, move on
ReplyDeleteLet him just come do the marriage thingy and enjoy his wife naa. No long talk there.
ReplyDeleteYou sef eh, why did you go all the way to London if you knew there was not going to be any touchy touchy? Blame yourself dear.
However, it's not too late o.
I concurr!
DeleteYh I concur... if he wants u... wetin, mek him come marry nah. abi since he said both of will be getting married? Why not...
DeleteI defo pray about it, no point compromising ur values for any man o. xxx
I'm going to give it to you straight and i hope you can handle it. virginity my dear friend is overrated- so is religion. are you still there? or have you run away at my second sentence? good. either way is fine. if you have then you cant be helped. if you havent then read on. humans are made to feel the way we feel for a reason. from as young as 13 we start to have this attraction to the opposite sex- and that isnt a bad thing. sex is a natural progression of the way we express our love as human beings. it makes the girl that we love different from the girl who is just our friend. Your guy lives in the UK where the threshold of morality differs eons away from what is norm in nigeria which is debatable cos i lived in nigeria until recently. if he's good looking he has friends here that will sleep with him just because he took them to a fancy club, bought a few drinks and they had a fun night out him. they wouldnt date him most of the time- the sex is regarded as just the culmination of a fun night. but there you are his supposed girlfriend- he processed your visa, paid your way here on a 6 hour flight and took you shopping and you are holding onto archaic vestiges of decency and religion. how have you separated yourself from the other girls. how are you this girl he loves? how are you this special girl that means a lot to him? that he took this effort for? for a tenth of the effort he spent on you he will get two white girls to do unspeakable things with him. im not saying you should go about whoring yourself because a guy spent money on you- i am saying if you love this guy which i assume you do else you wont have gone to the UK to visit him- then my friend you have to wake up and smell life. cos this is what life is- its no fairytale, and in love you have to give. men- people in fact dont express love by playing monopoly and eating tea and crumpets and going to visit big ben. all those things are opportunities to pull her close and look in her eyes and drown in them, and kiss her and tell her you love her, and take her back to your room not because you're some randy sex starved person but because the only way you can share something special with her is by taking off all your clothes and sharing in each others beauty and pleasing each other and sharing something special- something much more than just sex. thats what binds you together- else you might as well just be his pal and you could have pal'd by skype from lagos. maybe im different but i dont have patience for people who take life way seriously that they pass up on good people for reasons that are debatably perceived as "moral". if it was me i would have checked you into a hotel after the second night- given you money to enjoy your stay in the uk just to let you know its not about money or sex and you wont have seen me till you left. what am i rambling about? if you don't love him or didnt love him you shouldnt have taken up his offer to come to the UK, if you do love him and you feel he is a good guy who loves you - then yes you have robbed him of an opportunity to share that love with you, one im certain he waited months to do, and yes you HAVE used him. suck it up my dear friend, there are no prizes on earth or heaven for virginity, keep it for the right guy if you want...but dont find the right guy and then ask him to wait because you are afraid of the Man in the sky. That Man gave you and him those urges since you were 15...i am quite sure if your emotions are true He will forgive you.
ReplyDeleteI didnt even read half of this garbage to know that something is really wrong with you.
DeleteChai!!....
DeleteThe only thing wrong with me Kiky is that i live in a different world than you do, one more advanced and intellectual, and im not even talking gepgraphical locations. A world where we think before we speak, respect other peoples opinions and rights and do not pass crass uncouth insults at people we've never met. You remind me of why i left Nigeria- my annoyance at the overwhelming retardation of our society. Bugger off--you shadow
DeleteMr chukky eboka you are clearly from another planet. You are one of those people that equate advancement and intellect with loose morals. Oh I respect your opinion alright...but in my opinion you are crazy. And if you respected her opinion you would made ridicule of her choice to be celibate till marriage.
DeleteYou said “sex is a natural progression of the way we express our love as human beings” and
“That Man gave you and him those urges since you were 15...i am quite sure if your emotions are true He will forgive you”
Yes God gave us these feelings or “urges” as you called them for the opposite sex. He also gave it to goats and cows. Now he went a step further to give us what goats and cows and clearly you don’t have...self control. It is within our will to act on these feelings. To choose who we sleep with and when.
You said “There are no prizes on earth or heaven for virginity”
I did not marry a virgin but I sure wish I did. And a lot of married women will agree with me. Pre-marital sex is most times just not worth the effort.
And for the this statement you made ,
“for a tenth of the effort he spent on you he will get two white girls to do unspeakable things with him”
it says more about the type of person you are.
Now please stop writing silly essays giving absurd advice to people.
Shut up, okay. Just shut up. Oh sorry, that was rude right? I meant...stop talking!
Delete...and it says little for your reading and comprehension skills if you can take a sentence that was largely societal commentary and tag it as a personal experience or as a reflection of who i am. sad.
Deleteself control, goats and cows? to choose who we sleep with or not? nowhere have i postulated that such a choice was out of her hands...i said she should examine the reason for that choice and make sure its enough to let go of someone she thinks is a good guy. but theres no point trying to explain to you. I dont normally comment on these sensational blogs - just cos this one belongs to Myne- but the fact that everyone appears to be jumping on me without understanding the foundation of my argument tells me my reservations were right. I shall leave you guys now- consider me overwhelmed and defeated by your logic. Good night good sirs, rest your merry little heads
Hey Chukky, I appreciate your views but I am not as liberal as that but I think things through not because I was instructed by my parents or culture, but because as a person I believe in it. I can't sleep with a man that is not my husband. I made a VOW. Its my word and I am bound by it if not it would make me fraudulent. It doesn't make me better than anyone but its just who I am as a person. I made this vow without my parents or friends. and I told God in whom I believe in and he has helped me all this while.
DeleteThis guy knew it and yes I already blame myself for not reminding him. I just assumed he knew. Now I know better anyways. I asked for opinions from people I don't know since I have blamed myself and my friends have blamed me too. I have made up my mind already and left him. I have peace. What gives you peace of mind and makes me sleep at night might not be what gives another person peace.
Once again, thanks for taking your time to respond. Maybe through your opinion, I now understand his mind set but Its not the same as mine so its better we part ways
Mr Chukky, thank God you have left Nigeria. Please never come back, we don't need your type in Nigeria.
DeleteScarlet Xianne, nice reply.
DeleteDear anonymous sister, thank God you left him, he behaving this way, knowing well your stand on virginity, shows that your values are not the same, and I am so not sure if he hasn't been having sex with other girls too!
Mister living abroad is seriously over rated!Please don't make it sound like you are in heaven and Naija is hell,a lot of Nigerians in Nigeria
Deleteare enlightened...Your rudeness neither shows superior intelligence nor does it make your argument more compelling...#just saying#
my dear, please dont make the mistake of sleeping with this man.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all you dont want to and that is reason enough.
Secondly he cant get it round his head that he has been with you all these while and didnt get to have sex with you. its driving him mad. And somehow he though he should be rewarded for paying for your trip by having sex with you.
When you were in the university he didnt pressure you because he genuinely thought you two will get married thats why he didnt mind waiting. Now he knows he WILL NOT marry you, which is why he desperately wanted to sleep with you when you went to visit.
its hard i know but please move on.
"Now he knows he WILL NOT marry you, which is why he desperately wanted to sleep with you when you went to visit. its hard i know but please move on."- The sad truth. I'm a guy so I should know. Only a guy who has decided NOT to marry you will be so DESPERATE for sex. Thanks Kiky for helping a fellow woman. The issue is, will she listen?
DeleteIf u stay, he doesn't treat you well and if u leave he complains?! I think, if he can't treat you well and respect your wishes, he doesnt deserve you. If you decide to leave him, how he feels about YOUR decision to do so is not your problem!
ReplyDeletelmao! Eya easy na.re u supporting the lady or the man, u eh?
ReplyDeletefor me i think hes in it cos shes a V. my dear my advice to you would be to tell him your stand on things. its either he hurries and performs the marriage rights or he accepts you the way you are since he has waited all this while, waiting till you guys get married wont kill him if not he should let go and just allow you move on with your life.
Stand your ground and don't compromise your beliefs and principles. If he really wants to have sex that badly, and you're the one he wants to be with, then he should marry you already. He knew you were a virgin from the beginning, so why should he expect you to change your mind now? If your vow to God is that important to you, then your boyfriend/fiance should respect it.
ReplyDeleteAnd as for Chukky Eboka, you're WRONG in saying that "because the only way you can share something special with her is by taking off all your clothes and sharing in each others beauty and pleasing each other and sharing something special- something much more than just sex." I take exception to your use of the word ONLY. That is simply not true. There are other non-sexual ways to show love and "share something special."
No, I'm not a virgin and as far as premarital sex, to each his/her own (personally, I wish I never gave it up). But let's respect that this lady's own is her Vow of Celibacy/Abstaining. There is NOTHING wrong with that.
End of story.
@chukkyeboka.Did u say there is no reward 4 virginity in heaven & on earth?Religion apart, being a virgin makes her free from STDs & the guilt of abortions(@unprotected sex ).Whatever world u think u r living in, have in mind dat 1 day u'll be no more after which u stand b4 God 2 give an account of how u used d body he gave u. U talk as if u own ur life,living in a more advanced world doesn't make u better than anybody.
ReplyDeleteMen are from Mars Women are from Venus. I'm offering up opinion from a perspective- but here we have all these women telling us how we should feel. I'm quite sure the guy in question will be in the same age range as me, and he is in the UK just as I am. I can share a lot of how he feels- and i am explaining it to her. but the problem with relationships is that we never listen to the opposite side. Pray tell me of some other way an upwardly mobile, intelligent, fast paced lifestyle young heterosexual male has to establish his territory around a particular female he fancies. any way you come up with will no doubt be some vanilla experience that only a woman can devise and which a man can replicate with his multitude of friends male or female. The truth is that perhaps this lady and her guy are living in radically different worlds and perhaps should not be together. My point is don't pass up on a good relationship/marriage/life because of some questionable sense of morality. Its not about sex- i'm not here advocating promiscuity. Its about liberation. im not going to get into a debate about religion, but I will go so far as to say that i can guarantee that she will not go to hell because she had sex with the guy she loves and eventually went on to marry. I PROMISE YOU THAT SHE WON'T. Live your life girl and stop letting archaic values come between you and your happiness. Have you ever wondered how Nigeria is so deeply religious and yet so deeply corrupt? the west that nigerians called hell and morally decadent and where religion is at an all time low is the place where society thrives, public corruption is low, the tax payers money is used to take care of the sick, the unemployed, provide power and health for all. look at all the places in the world where religion has a stronghold and note the poverty and corruption you see. Can you draw correlations? can you not see?
ReplyDelete@kiky you are advising her not to make the mistake of sleeping with him but she can travel to london all expenses paid abi???my advice is that if you are not ready to have sex then let the guy go so u guys can move on
ReplyDeleteThis guy is not just any guy. They have dated for a while. And pls all expense paid trip doesnt not hve to be repaid with sex.
DeleteYou clearly don't have peace with this guy. The drama is just too much. I would leave him. Simple
ReplyDeleteSimple truth o.
DeleteI had a similar experience bt I regret it cz I gave in to its advances,he started treating me badly...anyways,I broke up wt him nd getting married in a few mnths time to ma bestfrnd.my advice is dt u break up wt him nd move on cz he doesn't love u.he is after d sex.nneky
ReplyDelete@Chukky Eboka: I'm a guy; I used to share most of your views- I no longer do. Like you, I live in the UK and I recognize in your comments some of the initial zealous release of youthful energy and liberation I felt after living in Nigeria with all of its religious suppressions all my life. Just about 5 years ago, my friends and I would have been the ones making the kind of comments you have made. We partied and clubbed and generally got the ladies to drop their panties at the end of the night but I tell you most sincerely, none of what we did was true intimacy. They were quite simply hydraulics of the flesh. I will return to this point in my direct response to the poster; please check below. Like the guy in the story, I once paid for a girl to come visit me in the UK all the way from Nigeria and she refused to sleep with me when she got here. I was disappointed and deflated but I didn't start treating her badly. What made it more crushing was that we used to have sex like rabbits in Nigeria so when she arrived with this new tale of secondary virginity, I was completely flummoxed. If anything, given my experience, I should take sides with the guy in the story especially since the girl didn't tell me there'll be no show but I don't cos the fundamental difference is that this guy knows this babe is a virgin. Besides and most importantly, it is wrong, very wrong and profoundly ignorant to expect sex simply BECAUSE you paid for her trip to the UK. No way! Sex should never be used as reward or compensation between two people who claim to be in love. It should be a mutual, voluntary outpouring of emotions. I don't agree with you but I understand your views; I don't think what you have suggested is the right thing to do. I blame the poster for not spelling out that she won't embark on that trip or at least reminding him that she's still a virgin and would continue to respect her vows until marriage. It is her belief, her virginity, her pussy- it is not for you or anyone in this world to tell her what to do with her body. The man in question is not a gentleman. I'll repeat- and this is coming from someone who has seen it all: the guy is no gentleman. I have played in the pussy-chasing leagues in 4 countries: Nigeria,South-Africa, the US & Ireland. I never forced a woman against her will and no real man should stop treating a lady well cos she said no. He fought and struggled with her EVERY night! What crap! Again, I blame the girl for not spelling out the conditions of the visit but if I were the guy, I'd be proud and delighted that she has kept the virginity all these years.
ReplyDeletei only wish i were as young as you think i am. sadly i am not. I had my fair share of scalps firmly nailed to my bedpost even before i left nigeria. my point which everyone seems to be missing that sometimes its not about the sex. for me its not about sex. its about the reasons that shes holding unto virginity and depriving herself of being with a guy that she feels is a good guy. its about religion if we must come to it. its about attitudes and a liberated way of thinking. i dont want to marry a virgin. i dont know any guy that wants to or has married a virgin in my circle of friends. call me worldly or godless but i expect to be intimate with anyone i date before i marry her. revelations that can come from such intimacy sometimes has an impact on decisions on matrimony and spending the rest of your life together. sex is a big percentage of marriage and sorry but anyone who enters a marriage blind without knowing your sexual compatibility with your partner is naive and that person will end up regretting that decision. almost every girl i know that married as a virgin tell me they wished they had explored more sexually and many of them end up straying. his wanting sex doesnt make him a bad person. it makes him a realist. hang unto your virginity if you want women- but you'll be passing up on a large pool of very real good men who have long shed themselves of such prehistoric inhibitions
DeleteWrong. Wrong. Wrong. Girl you're wrong to visit him in the UK and stay with him all that time knowing very well that you won't sleep with him. You goofed big time, girl. Sex is a big deal; real big issue. The thought of it alone literally sends a dick punching through boxers. Nearly every man would think about it at least 5 times a day and it is always in their head even when they don't want to think about it. You should have elected to pay for your own accommodation or at least repeatedly warn him that you won't be having sex with him. This is where I don't understand our girls; a white girl would hardly go home with a man if she won't be sleeping with the man that night. And I can bet my life's savings that no white girl anywhere would accept the kind of largesse the guy gave you and spend that amount of time with him so far away from their homeland without fucking the brains out of the guy. Anyway, I digress but it is a comparison I couldn't avoid making. Now to Chukky Eboka, the young lady didn't ask for advice on whether she should sleep with the man or not: she's clear on that. She only wants to know if we think it's a good idea to wait for him to improve or if she should count her losses and move on. Interesting circle of friends you've got, Chukky. Most of the guys I know prefer to go where no one has ever been; guys want to be the only one she would ever know. I was not a virgin before getting married but I wish I were. Nothing beats giving your all to that one special person at the right time. Like someone pointed out earlier, what we generally refer to as intimacy in the world is not that. Like 'love' that word too has been abused. I felt more intimate with my husband before I married him and we started making love than with any of the frogs I kissed & had sex with before marriage. Yes, before marriage we had our fears: what if we didn't turn out to be sexually compatible? But we were always calmed down by the thought that the values we shared and had decided to hold tightly on to and our commitment to each other are higher and more important than sex. Strange but it worked for us. One more thing, one day in the future, the time would come when I won't naturally feel like sex (60s, 70s). I already know that even then, I'd still be excited like a little girl to hear my husband come home like I am everyday at present.
DeleteChwoi, this girl! Why did u go? You knew how he felt about you plus, he's not a Christian. Ladies, why do we do this to ourselves? Now, you say you are confused....about what? Choosing between a guy who just wants to have sex with you and peace;the beautiful life that God wants for you as His child? "...If you leave, he complains..",that is what you are worried about?
ReplyDeleteGirl,you better wake up from your slumber and do the right thing!
@Poster: If I were you, I'd end the relationship ASAP. However, I'm only able to say this cos unlike you, I'm not in love with this guy; you are. So, I'll tell you a story or two to drive home my point. I'll be going to Nigeria in 2 weeks for my wedding. When I met my fiancee 3 years ago, she was a virgin; she's still a virgin. I have spent 3 vacations in Nigeria since then and have been alone with her many times for extended periods (we once spent two weeks in a holiday resort alone) but because I saw her as my wife from the beginning, I didn't rush to sleep with her. There's a certain self-restraint that comes with confidence that a certain person is yours or will be yours for life. My decision not to pressure her for sex is not because I am a christian or anything like that, it is simply because I love her, respect her views and more importantly have come at this point in my life to value choices like hers. Like I told Chukky Eboka, a few years ago, I would have done exactly what your fiance is doing. Now the most interesting part of the story, my fiancee's visa will take another six weeks to be processed as we have had to appeal the UKBA's initial decision. Since we have made the decision to make love for the first time on our matrimonial bed and not anywhere else, after the wedding in two weeks, I'll return to the UK and wait another 4 weeks before (hopefully) CONSUMMATING the marriage. We could have chosen to do it in any hotel rooom, in any of my friend's places, in her own apartment, or in her room in her parent's house but we didn't. We are not in a hurry and sex doesn't define our love. I would have called anyone making this kind of decision a Jew Man or mugu in the past but I have come to value certain things over others. I enjoy our lengthy telephone conversations. The laughter I share with her. The hand-written letters from Nigeria twice every week. The beauty of our dreams. Those things matter. Sex is not everything. Show my response to your man if you can and tell him I said he is NOT really interested in marrying you otherwise he won't be doing all this. I salute you for dating other people over the years without comprising your values. If I were him, I would have been so happy that you've kept it intact. I question your boyfriend's motives; I really do. Even when I was still single, I always steered clear of virgins cos una talk na long talk and I was mainly interested on very quick returns on investment, lol. Ask this guy if he truly wants to be with you. I have a feeling he doesn't.
ReplyDeletejeez!! u are my kind of man! kudos my brother! All the best goodies that comes with a marriage where God , love, humility and selflessness is present is what i wish you and your spouse. Amen!
DeleteThanks so much.
Deletelikes Vipers comments and tone of response. But viper though? that name lol.
Deleteawww I pray your marriage is blessed and foundation will be a great one for your children and generations to come. Have a safe flight. xxxx
Ur Honesty is on point.
To me, I believe this guy is playing 'one leg in one leg out' and you don't need that. Going by what you wrote, he's financially buoyant enough to do the right thing if he wants to have you 100% plus he's very much aware of your decision to stay celibate so why is he now making a fuss over your V? I believe his intentions for you are no longer genuine. You'll have yourself to contend with if you give up your cherished 'pudding' just to please him and be prepared for far worse treatment right after. Just MOVE ON!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://theglamfile.blogspot.com
You went to the UK on another person's dime and you are here saying story? Why did you go?!!! Did you explain to him that you didn't want to have sex before you left? Were his and your expectations clear? My dear, I only have you to blame. And I am a woman, so let nobody jump on my back. I live abroad and when my ex visited me from Nigeria,I paid half of the cost. My dear, I paid HALF. And the half is so that no one will say I emasculated him (and I am not a mugun too). Thus, I had mouth. I could talk. You were 'distraught and not thinking well', but you were well enough to attend the visa interview, get on a flight, live in his house and shop on his dime? You weren't distraught until it was time to give up the goods. Of course he wanted sex. You mean you got on a plane without telling him that you made a vow to God at 13? If the religion was so important to you, what part of do not be unequally yoked do you not understand?
ReplyDeleteMy opinion is that unless you both come to a consesus ad idem (an agreement), just let it go and find someone else that shares your values since he doesn't share them. He may be hurt and angry and even think you used him (I am inclined to agree with him), but better to be move on now than to be heartbroken later.
You couldnt't have said it any better than you have just done Ayodeji.
DeleteHey, I sent this message in. I said we dated in the past and he knew I was a virgin. He did ask me then but I told him. He knew all this while of my commitment. Coming back together, I felt we were going to start off from where we stopped. He is a friend not someone I just met. I broke it off with him already and even at that, we will still be friends because I have known him for long.
DeleteI know I made a mistake going to the UK with reinforcing my beliefs to him. I just assumed he knew but like they said assumption is the mother of all f..k ups. Thanks anyways for your view. I appreciate it.
without*
DeleteOk then. I guess your story is clearer to me. However, girlfriend (if I may call you that :)), if there is ever a next time, please try to contribute to your trip or pay your own way. In my experience, men are funny human beings. I understand why you would have thought that his spending money on you was a testament to his love, but to him, it is a form of control. I also blame him for pressuring you despite knowing your stand on issues of pre-marital sex.
DeleteAll of this is water under the bridge. My advice for you going forward is this: send him an e-mail explaining your own side of the story. Ask him bluntly where you stand with him re your Masters and going over to the UK. Give him a timeframe to respond and state clearly that if you don't get a response within that time, you will consider the relationship ended. That is not a threat. You are a grown ass woman and so, your life shouldn't be in limbo because of another person. If you eventually go to the UK, I will advise that you are INDEPENDENT and stand on your own two legs. Do not depend on him. For what you have explained, he sees money as a form of control and honestly, it is.
Finally, you have said you are a Christian. As your fellow Christian sister, I know you know that marrying an unbeliever is a bad idea. Simply because you don't share the same values and differ substantially on fundamental issues. At the heart of it, you believe Jesus died on the Cross and is the ONLY way to heaven. Your bf doesn't believe that. Don't matter if he is a 'good man'. Wish you all the best.
Since you are both not on the same page...please end the relationship.
ReplyDeleteYou know the right thing, then why ask? I think u wait for the guy till he tells u his mind...then could u move on. Men can be impatient, and nothing is lost yet. He didn't tell u u were coming to have sex with u, so u can't really take d blame. Just hold on to ur pride (he'll come back) till ur wedding night.
ReplyDelete@Viper: u have said it all.
ReplyDeleteWhy wud a guy that will eventually marry u...Cos i think u made it clear that u guys were planning for marriage, Y wud he suddenly start asking for what he knows will be rightfully and exclusively HIS in a short while...U guys hv dated a while back, dat means he knew u were a virgin then and didnt make so much of a fuss about it...My question is why now? Cos he went to a very absolute height by inviting u over, spending money on u and others...But that is not a very gud reason for him to be so forceful on the issue of sleeping with him....I believe ur body is ur own and shud be done with the way u want it...i think @ Viper has said it all...!...I lov men that can exercise discipline and self control...I tink ur girl knows the the kind of cool dude she got.....@the writer, U neva used him only that his plans didnt work as planned and he is so frustrated...
ReplyDelete