The Hair Wars - Team Natural or Team Relaxed

So I made a huge decision about my hair recently. I've never been a natural hair nazi, but I did have an aha moment about natural hair that made me keep mine for so long. I don't know if I've said it before but when I first cut my hair, it was because of a hair accident, and the plan was to switch back to relaxed as it grew. After about 6 months, I texturized it as a first step. It still had curls but not as tight as usual.

While in that state, we went to see my brother in law and his family. His two years old daughter who had natural hair was so excited to see my hair, and followed me around everywhere, and each time I carried her, her hands went to my hair, touching it and then hers, or just rubbing it in a soothing way.

It was such an eye-opener for me on how having an adult woman with natural hair around them would definitely affect a young girl, and how they viewed themselves, and their hair. That was also the time around when we had just started trying to concieve and I was like, if I'm going to have a daughter who will come into this world with tight curls on her head, then mine had to be the same way. When we got back from the trip, I gradually trimmed my hair till the texturized part was gone.

Well, fast forward two years, no daughter and 10 inches more of tight curls and I had to rethink my stand. My hair type is such that it shrinks up to 70%, and as it grew longer, it drove me crazy with the tangles at the ends, and how thick it got. Combing or styling it was a nightmare, and the shedding each time I managed to do that, scary. Even my stylist noted this, and she recommended some products, and weekly appointments.

I changed shampoos, deep conditioned more often, watched more Youtube videos and moisturized as often as I could. My hair improved, if not by much, but more important, I remained who I was.

I am that person who doesn't like to fuss about my looks. Whether dressing, makeup, or hair, I tilt to simplicity. The less time spent on these things, the better. So having to give so much attention to my natural hair was quite distracting. Last weekend I was at the end of my tether and knew I had to do something. I wanted my simple wash-comb-and-go back. There were two choices before me, do another big chop, or relax. Oh, Atala had a third option, get dreadlocks. But that was too permanent for me. And then there are the hair thieves.

In the end, my stylist suggested a middle ground, texlaxing - in between texturing and relaxing. In these pictures, I also flat-ironed the hair, and I'm loving it. Can you tell?

My hair is healthy, black, and long, if a bit dry and shedding more than it should, but better than it has been for a while. Being natural and free of chemicals has definitely helped it, and so I'll be more careful about the products I use. I've also learned more about hair care, and I'm sure that will continue to be useful.

So yeah, I'm team relaxed for now, and for as long as this phase lasts, I'm going to love my hair anyway.