Dear Myne - Two Men Want To Marry Me, Who Do I Choose?

I am a 26 year old professional working in Nigeria who got in a relationship last year with a wonderful man who is another professional working in the UK. We met via a social network, he had actually been trying via this social network to contact me since 2010 but I just hadn't been interested at the time because I had just ended a year old relationship which had left me rather distraught.


We had loved each other desperately, or so I thought, but, he obviously loved his mum much more who, for some reason, did not quite want her oil-company-employed son to bring home any girl at his ripe age of 37!

He did plead for me to wait awhile so we could keep walking on egg-shells around his mum, fetting and petting her and I did until, he started to change and withdraw and I saw no reason to stay on.
Men can just be that weak when it came down to familial pressures of any kind.

So, there the guy in the UK was, emailing me, calling me (I still don't know how he got my number) and I wasn't budging.
And then, after a while, he stopped.

Fast-forward, 2012; this guy started to call again and it so happened to be the same person and, suffice to say that I was really in a more congenial predisposition to go into a committed relationship and that was how we begun.
I have to say, he has been a truly wonderful person.
And I totally trust him. Totally.
He did try to secure me a visa to visit but that was denied, whereupon he has visited Nigeria twice to be with me.

On the second visit, he decided he needed to tell his family about me and upon inquiries from his family, his father didn't like my place of origin, precisely, my hometown.
It so happened that they had been through a really rough time with a particular family therein who had been their in-laws and who proved to be the worst type of in-law any family would pray for one of theirs to marry into.
As it stood in any case, the marriage had only recently packed up with accusations of voodoo and witchcraft being labelled against the mother-in-law who eventually, as the allegations went, took the life of my boyfriend's mother.
Hence, they did not want to hear of it.

He did not tell me out rightly.
I just knew that something had happened and that he left Nigeria upset with his family but I couldn't place my finger on the reason until I asked a few days later that he tell me the truth about what occurred- which he did.
This opposition wasn't easy for me to bear as I had been in the boat before but he wouldn't hear of us going our separate ways.  The communication was still awesome, our plans were still rolling, albeit, a lot slower than it was supposed to be with him leading the pace with an alert feet on the brakes...

Then, I met someone else here in Nigeria.
I have to say, it was like fireworks.
I had never made such a connection at the first instance with anyone in my life, it usually took a couple of meetings and getting to know a person better.
However, this was different, mutual, reciprocated in far greater quantum and, I realised, it was the first time the person in question had ever felt this way about a woman in his entire life- as told by his family, friends and himself and to which they all attest to.
I played coy for a while, told him the truth about my relationship status- I had a boyfriend in the UK who I was in love with
(I did not need to "tell" him, he "saw"), would not quite show the fact that the likeness was mutual but then,
who was I fooling?
My attraction was probably glaring to all and sundry.
Bottom line is, we are in love.
And I'm in love with two men.
Two men who want to marry me and I cannot quite understand how I got to this spot.
I probably should not tell this because I am not going to go,
"Oh, Myne, what do I do?". No.
I do know what to do, but it is difficult.
Because it would mean that I would hurt one of them and they are such beautiful souls...
The one in Nigeria knows he may probably get the axe, but he's hoping and praying it'll work out for him- and I truly don't understand that type of love, or faith- I have often thought and wondered if it is possible he can hold this stance because he probably also has an option on the side and then, I realised, he doesn't.
I just pray God to direct me accordingly, the one in the UK is coming back and he says the opposition from his family's been lifted but I cannot help wondering;
Will they truly, wholeheartedly, accept and embrace me into their family?

Well, I hope the story wasn't a bore.
I also hope that in not too long a time, I send you a sequel to it which, here's hoping still, will be the story of... The process leading up to a union and then, another of the union proper.