Sunday, September 22, 2013

Marriage in Absentia or Proxy - Will You Wed a Photograph?

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I came across this picture on Facebook and decided to share. I have heard stories of a friend of a friend who did the same thing. The lady's fiance, whom she had never met prior to the marriage by the way, was based abroad and couldn't come home so they had to do everything by proxy.


The family liked her for a wife, and so she could move into the in-laws place and help the mother-in-law until the son could come back for the civil marriage. I didn't understand it fully, but everybody seemed happy with the arrangement. And I think last I heard, everything worked out.

Will you hold your wedding in absentia of your would-be spouse? Under what conditions?




14 comments:

  1. Heck no!
    I'll feel humiliated. #my view

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  2. Not for me either, she looks happy though!

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  3. This is part of our culture so I see nothing wrong with it if that's how it worked out for the couple.

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  4. Scores of Nigerians did this same thing back in the 60s, 70s. It's nothing new. I wouldn't want to do it though.

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  5. She's actually wedding the man and not the photograph. It looks strange but who know what their situation is?

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  6. Kemi Sola, which culture is that please?

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    1. I am Yoruba and where I come from, the traditional marriage can be done by proxy of one or both couples, either using their picture, or their sibling or relative standing in for them. Thank you.

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    2. I'm also Yoruba and how far back does this culture go? I think it is a quite recent thing and I don't know how you can label that "culture". More like a matter of modern necessity.

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  7. Weird, but if it is legal, then so be it.

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  8. My fiance and I actually did a proxy traditional marriage fairly recently. We were side by side abroad, while they did the trad in Naija. There were pictures, and we attended via skype/ phone calls.

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    1. No apologies but I do think this is crap and shows little or no values to our cultural values.
      If any or both celebrants will not be attending, then there's no need to have it tagged as Traditional marriage or have many guests attend. Rather, the traditional rights can be completed quietly and close family of the groom visit close family of the bride, submit all the requirements and when the couple are ready they do their church wedding or which ever way they choose to celebrate.

      That is MHO.
      Whats all the force about noisy weddings anyway?

      Why fix something you wont be attending? Can you host a party you wont be attending? You cant even call for a meeting and not be there -ideally; how much more a wedding?

      Naija, pls lets get our acts right. Don't know where we learned this one from - and do we also blame this on colonialism? Mscheeww

      MHO =My Honest Opinion.

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    2. Need I mention how infuriated I was when my dad attended a trad wedding of our childhood friend, whose father he is stil close with, only to realize the celebrants weren't there. And his bossom pal didnt even inform him (them) of the intending absence. I found this very humiliating to my dad as an esteemed traditional ruler and in fact, to other guests who came to cheer the couple excitedly.

      I maintain my stand. IT IS NOT COMPULSORY TO HAVE TRADITIONAL WEDDING!
      If not convenient, kindly scrap it, save us the embarrassment and save you the money- then have yourselves only one (other) ceremony.

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  9. Big No for me.it looks funny..but if it works for them,no wahala

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