I may be wrong, but is that a bloody vagina on that cake? Well, what is that they say, the more things seem to change, the more they remain the same. Back in the days, when a woman got married, a white sheet was put on the bed before she has sex with the husband, and a blood-stained sheet needs to be seen by all the next day, or yawa will gas for her.
Some people obviously want us to go back to those days, even knowing as most people these days do, that hymens may be lost at any time, with or without blood, and without necessarily having intercourse. And yes, one can be an "official" virgin while technically, they've given and received loads of oral sex, anal sex, and more.
A lot of married women will tell you their virginity on their wedding day, or lack of it, has little to do with their day-to-day married life. That said, I wish our virgin bride all the best in her marriage.
That looks so gross, is someone being killed there?
ReplyDeleteI am non-Nigerian and we had the same white sheet tradition I rem witnessing it once as a child many many many years ago. Thank god they don't do it anymore.
ReplyDeleteI think you are too harsh on her. It's her business what she thinks about HER hymen. As much as I think the declaration of virginity can be over-rated, I don't see how you can conclude that "some people obviously want us to go back to those days". She's a girl doing her bridal shower the way she wants; if she wants to celebrate her virginity so be it. If a bride to be had a cake that said "hymens are overrated", it would be also wrong for a virgin to criticize her by saying she's promoting promiscuity. We all have different beliefs.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with anon Dec. 21 who said you were too harsh on her. Also, virginity SHOULD be celebrated even though it might have nothing to do with day to day married life. It is reminiscent of old-timey values which we don't pride anymore. I'd rather have a virgin than these teenagers running around with multiple abortions under their belt.
DeleteHmm... and what of young girls who have been abused? And it's not a binary thing - virgin or multiple abortions. There is a whole spectrum in between as I'm sure everyone knows. I have nothing against virgins, but seriously virginity is not a prize, not to talk of a bloody vagina or hymen. What I find more useful is how much education, self awareness, and self control a woman has at the time she gets married. Those are what will help her be a better person, wife and mother.
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DeleteMyne, i think i need to stop reading or visiting your blog. once the topic is "moral", you go strongly against it. its her choice and if that makes her a better person, wife and mother, so be it. I wonder the kind of born again christian you claim to be.
I'm not claiming, and you don't have to wonder. My Christianity is personal. The cake is her choice and this post is my opinion. I'll say it again, I have nothing against virginity, but bloody sheets or cakes as a celebration of such is in very bad taste.
DeleteMost adult women do not shed noticeable blood on first sex, there is more blood shed when underage girls have sex with adult men as happened in archaic times, or in these days when men abuse little girls or marry teenagers. Is that what you want to promote with bloody cakes? I'm sorry count me out.
Sure, people have and practise different beliefs. But this was encouraged in Nigerian society among different tribes as a way of curtailing sexual immorality then. Butt I think a lot have been lost to infused cultures and beliefs.
ReplyDeleteThat cake is nasty. Il be too embarrassed to hold it like that
ReplyDeleteif she is truly a virgin at this time that "tested OK" is the order of the day then she is worth celebrating...
ReplyDeleteCongrats to the bride.
ReplyDeleteYea, she is a virgin, but is the cake really necessary. It tacky and distasteful.
ReplyDeleteTrue, like everyone pointed out. Myne U do hv a problem with good morals good values and white or black. You d rather sit on the fence.
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