The See Finish Syndrome (For Couples Only)

By Charly Boy.

When two people, lovers, friends, partners or even team mates can consistently predict one another's moves like clockwork, it is called see finish.

See finish can help one in fully understanding your partner. However, see finish in a marriage has its own bad sides, if not checked can lead to the death of DESIRE in a marriage, especially, sexually. That's when couples start to take each other for granted and no longer as granted. See finish in a marriage is when one spouse is desperately yearning for more sex, connection or physical closeness, and the other for whatever reason seems a bit unconcerned about their partner’s feelings, or just not with it any more.


For instance, if in the beginning of a marriage, a couple enjoyed going out together and five years into their union as husband and wife both or one of them starts to hate the idea of hanging out with their spouse, hummmmmm SEE FINISH has entered the matter.

See finish is when your spouse is no longer attractive sexually, when you start looking at your spouse as a sister or a brother. SEE FINISH in a marriage is when one spouse is desperately yearning for more sex, connection or physical closeness, and the other for whatever reason seems a bit unconcerned about their partner’s feelings, or just not with it any more. For married people, it's when making love has become a chore instead of a reaffirmation of love and intimacy. The worse stage of See finish in a marriage is when desire finally dies. Do you know that there are couples who haven't made it to their 10th year in marriage and already there is little or no action in their bedroom? If their desire has finally kicked the bucket before year ten, we that have survived 37yrs should ask for a divorce or what? There are couples who have lost all intimacy in their marriage, some of them live under the same roof like total strangers, and some are just cohabiting. It's crazy but it's true.

Meeehn, I know it's not easy waking up to the same face, the same smell, the same breast, the same person year in year out, but everything special takes working at, takes cultivation, takes patience and the will power to want to make it work. "Too much of the same woman can kill ones manhood" obviously that was scripted or corned by a man to justify his wondering penis. Hummmmmm, and I will always ask, can too much of the same penis kill a woman's desire for the same man? After all what's good for the goose should be good for the gander, abi how una see am. But guess what, more women these days are caught up in this see finish Syndrome more than the men care to admit, I swear.

This much I can say with all certainty, that desire dwindles in marriages if you don't work on keeping the flame burning, if you’re not observant in noticing that some things have changed, if finally you can't just be bothered about fixing it. No marriage can escape the SEE FINISH syndrome, either couples are prepared to work on it and work it out when it rears its ugly head or forget about any form of intimacy whatsoever. I can understand couples who have been together for at least 50yrs, that's when we are pardoned for just being brothers and sisters and best friends, maybe no longer sexual lovers. Some of us can't even make it to our 10th year without feeling sexually suffocating. Please I’m not preaching here, because I’m no saint, but I know I am where I am today because I work at it.

Does any of this sound familiar? Is your marriage going through a bad patch because of the SEE FINISH syndrome? Would you want to work at it, or would you rather let it die completely? The choice is really yours. For me I enjoy my "reserved" status especially as CharlyBoy. Maybe because I’m all played out, or maybe because I have seen it all, I have chosen to respect myself especially my body and continue to work with the devil I know than the beauty queen to come. I have passed through the see finish syndrome phase before, it was only my determination to put all my real joy in one basket that made me sort myself out and battle to get my groove back. It wasn't easy at all, but after all I am Charlyboy, and I can do anything I set my mind to, Right?

Couples can fight about anything, but if they can kiss and make love, it soothes the bad feelings; it's like a rebirth, a forgiving ritual. But when your spouse is deprived of even that, bitterness, resentment and desperation accumulates. If your spouse’s libido has been slacking, just know that the most powerful sexual organ is between your ears, you need to approach your partner with greater understanding, compassion and wisdom. It may be difficult but talk to your spouse because you both need to make adjustments if you are to have a healthier marriage. Find out how you both can rekindle the flame. If your spouse can't or doesn't want to see that there is heavy gbege and doesn't want to change, then, you have to decide if a low sex marriage is a deal breaker for you. However, if one of you is having an affair where the culprit is getting better sex outside than inside, then wahala dey. You better start preparing a requiem for your relationship. My people, this matter no easy joor, I don talk my own sha.