Ann Coulter Bashes The World Cup, Says Soccer is a Sign of America's Moral Decay Due to Immigration

Ann Coulter is an American republican, she loves being controversial, and her favorite past-time is goading liberals and bashing minorities - now the list includes football, or soccer as it is known in the United States.

The conservative columnist took the time yesterday to air her views on the apparently increasing popularity of soccer in America since the 2014 FIFA World Cup. And she chose the morning of the U.S. Men’s National Team’s most important match of the mundial to stir up the waters. Her title? “America’s Favorite National Pastime: Hating Soccer.”

Ann Coulter complains about everything in the beautiful game, from the length to the rule about not using hands, to the team play required. Everything about soccer according to her is dirty and disgusting. She rounds off by saying soccer is only enjoyed by immigrants and real Americans don't watch soccer.

Check out excerpts from her commentarys below

I've held off on writing about soccer for a decade -- or about the length of the average soccer game -- so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.

(1) Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer.

In soccer, the blame is dispersed and almost no one scores anyway. There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child's fragile self-esteem is bruised. There's a reason perpetually alarmed women are called "soccer moms," not "football moms."

Do they even have MVPs in soccer? Everyone just runs up and down the field and, every once in a while, a ball accidentally goes in. That's when we're supposed to go wild. I'm already asleep.

(2) Liberal moms like soccer because it's a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level.

(3) No other "sport" ends in as many scoreless ties as soccer. 

If Michael Jackson had treated his chronic insomnia with a tape of Argentina vs. Brazil instead of Propofol, he'd still be alive, although bored.

(4) The prospect of either personal humiliation or major injury is required to count as a sport. Most sports are sublimated warfare. 

 In hockey, there are three or four fights a game -- and it's not a stroll on beach to be on ice with a puck flying around at 100 miles per hour. After a football game, ambulances carry off the wounded. After a soccer game, every player gets a ribbon and a juice box.

(5) You can't use your hands in soccer.

(6) I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO's "Girls," light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton.

(7) It's foreign. In fact, that's the precise reason the Times is constantly hectoring Americans to love soccer. One group of sports fans with whom soccer is not "catching on" at all, is African-Americans. They remain distinctly unimpressed by the fact that the French like it.

(8) Soccer is like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it's European. Naturally, the metric system emerged from the French Revolution, during the brief intervals when they weren't committing mass murder by guillotine.

(9) Soccer is not "catching on."

The USA-Portugal game was the blockbuster match, garnering 18.2 million viewers on ESPN. NFL playoff games get 30 to 40 million viewers; and this year's Super Bowl had 111.5 million viewers.

Remember when the media tried to foist British soccer star David Beckham and his permanently camera-ready wife on us a few years ago? Their arrival in America was heralded with 24-7 news coverage. That lasted about two days. Ratings tanked. No one cared.

If more "Americans" are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.