Omotayo Adeoye, above, a 17 year old Nigerian-American student went missing last week Thursday after she jumped off the George Washington Bridge and into the Hudson River. Omotayo, a student of High School of Mathematics and Science, had been caught by her class teacher cheating during a German language exam.
She didn't finish the test, but wrote a suicide note on her test paper. “I just want to go away forever on the bottom of the river,” she wrote, and then she left the class, going directly to the bridge where she jumped.
Some have blamed the teacher for being too hard on the student, while others say parents who have overly high expectations of their children are to be blamed. This is the 14th suicide of a student according to a Department of Education in America, and they think there may have been some mental health issues involved on the part of Adeoye.
I think this is too sensitive a time to trade blames, but no doubt, there can be lessons for everyone, especially parents. Below are some really cogent points from parents and made on the comment thread by Harrison Nwozo, a friend I respect on Facebook.
Nini Okey-Uche - It is absolutely wrong to blame the teacher! Stop it! Adeoye did wrong. Period. You can not decide to do something as undignified as cheating and complain about humiliation when caught. The issue is why would that cause her to decide to commit suicide???? It's a sad story and I wish her family strength and her soul rest. However, we need to ponder over what her life values and value for life were. What faith did she profess? Did her parents bring her up to know that suicide was unthinkable and forbidden by God??? It's a sad story but here are the lessons: 1. Students, study and never cheat. 2. If you break rules, know that you also risk breaking your pride and dignity. 3. Teachers, when rules are broken, apply the necessary actions and punishment without any song and dance or shouting match. Adeoye should have been walked out of the exam hall so as not to distract others and given the necessary punishment. Gbam. 4. Parents, bring up your kids right, in the fear of God 5. Everyone, please know that suicide is a cowardly and ungodly act.
Nyanti Prince Nyanti - I concur with the speakers that said we should stop blaming the teacher! U see! Real teaching begins at home. Did her parent says to her a hard fought B's & C's is not so bad given she gives her best? Everyday on Facebook we flaunts our kids honor roll certificates. Will we do the same if it has only B's and C's. We have our kids believing they too can be accepted in all 8 Ivy League colleges like that Ghanian kid. But what he has accomplished is so extraordinary and only few will do that and that's fine. Do we even ask our kids what they want to do? Most not all African parent like to dictate to their kids what they will do or become. My dad says I'm his fave only because of what I used to do in the classroom. My plead to this new generation of parents is for us to do it differently! Let's nurture the interests our kids show and stop telling them what we see them doing. We have so many miserable successful people because of this!!
Harrison Nwozo - I cant even imagine what the parents are going through right now....we have to talk to our kids.... let them know it's ok to make a mistake, okay to fail, ok to slip up, that there will be bullies, there will be shameless teachers....but its ok..and how they should handle it.... normally i would never discuss this type of thing...but this is NOT the first time a female Nigerian has jumped to their death in America.... so as a parent..I will do what i have to do for my pinkins..this is a very, very different world from which i was raised.....
Here is how the NY Post reports the news;
Her teacher, Eva Malikova, “was walking around the room and saw [Adeoye] on her phone,” a male classmate said.
“She snatched it away from her and started screaming at her, ‘Oh, you shouldn’t be cheating! You guys shouldn’t be cheating! You guys are lying to yourselves!’ ”
Adeoye burst into tears, sobbing, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
“Oh, you are not really sorry,” Malikova allegedly snapped back. “That’s not a sincere apology!”
Law-enforcement sources confirmed the classroom exchange.
At around 2:15 p.m., a teary-eyed Adeoye scrawled her desperate note on the test, then asked to use the bathroom.
She never returned — instead walking from the West 140th Street school to the Hudson River’s edge at West 165th Street.
Shocked fishermen watched helplessly as she placed her ID on a rock, then jumped in the water.
Adeoye — whose father told cops she can’t swim — ignored their cries to go ashore, the witnesses told cops.
She appeared to be forcing herself down, they said.
Her head bobbed briefly above the surface before she was completely submerged.
She made the wrong choice. My heart goes out to the parents.
ReplyDeleteSome random times like now I try to think of what suicide would be like - assuming you could commit suicide and then come back again. It just doesn't feel right on any side.
ReplyDeleteShe just shifted the grief and embarrassment to her loved ones - and to me, that is the most cowardly and selfish thing to do.
Sad.