After reading this post by Huntly Anabs, I got to thinking about the issue of toxic relationships. I don't like using the word bad and good in this scenario, they're so value laden and binary. The more usual thing is that most of us fall within a spectrum from one end to the other, and sometimes bad stuff happen to good people in relationships when they are not compatible with their partners. So when I use bad boys and bad girls in this post, I mean people who are deliberately cruel and/or abusive to their partners.
After witnessing a physical violence episode between a neighbor, and the neighbor's girlfriend, Huntly calls his neighbour a bad boy;
Now, by all standards, John is someone I would refer to as bad boy; A bad boy because he smokes and drinks excessively? Maybe not. A bad boy because he has a tattoo on his neck and left arm? Far from that. A bad boy because he wears ear rings and carries dread locks? Definitely not. Who then is a bad boy?
A bad boy is a man who abuses a woman physically, emotionally and psychologically. He makes her feel worthless and demands from her what he’s unwilling to give. A bad boy is someone without a vision, dream and a sense of purpose. A bad boy is someone who lacks character. A bad boy is someone who is too immature and preoccupied with himself to share genuine compassion, concern or acceptance. A bad boy would rather be possessive than be protective of his woman. A bad boy cheats on his woman.
