Dear Myne - Should I Go After Him or Give it Time?

Hi Myne, I really love your blog (and both your novels), it feeds my romantic soul! I struggled with sending this email but I'm losing my mind so I hope your readers can help me. I apologise if you have addressed a similar issue previously but I couldn't find anything so here it goes....

I met a great guy some years ago now. It was like fate because he was in a different country but his friend met me and instantly thought we'd click. He was right, we did. We talked on the phone for about 3 months and then work took me to his location so we met in person. He had visa issues so he couldn't come to me in case you wondered. Before I went, we had great communication and we talked every day and for several hours on the weekend. He told me a lot of things, some that were very sensitive (visa situation e.g.) and he also opened up about his family etc.

I knew I was developing feelings for him but I forced myself to wait till I met him in person before I truly let go in case I wasn't physically attracted to him (seen him on skype but still needed to see him in the flesh) but the minute I laid eyes on him my heart leapt out of my body and right into his hands. Sadly, he didn't return the favour and whilst we spent all my free time together, he would just stare at me and say he liked me but he needed to process what to do with the relationship.

This led to a lot of frustration on my part (after all, I'd given our children names in my head) so the idea of "let's take it one day at a time" was the last thing I wanted to hear. We kissed but never went further but he bought me flowers and took me to lunches and dinners. I met all his friends and attended church with him. I left frustrated that he hadn't committed but glad I had a good time.

Apart From Praying For a Husband, What Else?

Timi Robins sent in this response to the poster who wrote in about being tired of praying for a husband. See original post and comments here. She goes;

I have been praying for so long...about 5 years now and it seems God chooses the people he wants to answer. I'm beginning to hate having to put up a smile when we have family meetings..(That's every sunday). Having to makeup and do the wedding secor for my younger friends...going to my friend's children's parties etc..is no longer funny. Not because I'm not happy for them, just like "God when will u answer me" kinda feeling. I really don't know what to pray about anymore. I'm tired in my spirit.

I want to ask this poster so many questions. Okay aside from praying, what else have you been doing to find this man you seek? Where have you been looking? Only inside the church or outside? Why? How are you been looking? What men qualify? All men? Or only men from a certain ethnic group? If yes, why? Why leave the finding of a man to prayers only / mainly?

Adventures of a Miss!! Episode 2

If you're just joining, please read Episode one first.

“You’re so bold” Bolaji says while chuckling. “I can’t believe you were questioning Zainab and laughed at their marriage, don’t think we didn’t catch that by the way”

We were in the car going back to my place, if only Bolaji knew the whole story, I’m sure he would not want to have this conversation or maybe he would, it’ll just be a totally different one.

Exasperatedly, I say “I was just surprised, was not trying to clown her or anything.” I didn’t want to talk about Muhammad, I’m so annoyed right now but Bolaji wouldn’t drop it.

“Trust me I know and Muhammad doesn’t even know he is a married man cos he always out painting the town red every weekend but to each his own sha” he looked over and must have noticed that I didn’t want to have this conversation because he just concentrated on the long road before us.

Finally, I think to myself and all I could do was let go of my breath that I had been holding because I thought Bolaji guessed I knew him but thank God. Now I have to think of a plan of how to get to Muhammad before he got to Bolaji. I mean I might not be sure I want to marry him, but I don’t need Muhammad ruining any possibilities of that.

Kim Kardashian Shares Picture of Her Baby Bump

Pregnant Kim Kardashian showed off her baby bump on instagram today. It looks like it's gonna be a girl, I think old wives tell us the pointed ones are the boys :)

Blast From the Past - Buchi Emecheta

Buchi Emecheta in the 70s

Buchi Emecheta is a well known Nigerian author though I'm not sure if she has written anything recently. Her most popular books include Joys of Motherhood, the Bride Price, Second Class Citizen, etc. Her books mainly focus on women's issues, particularly the theme of gender bias in both immigrant and African societies. Most of Buchi Emecheta books at either autobiographies or semi-autobiographical. Other themes include racial prejudice and the experience of immigration. With over 20 books to her credit, she published her first book 'In the Ditch' in 1972.

According to her wiki page;

Florence Onye) Buchi Emecheta was born on 21 July 1944, in Lagos to Igbo parents, Alice (Okwuekwuhe) Emecheta and Jeremy Nwabudinke. Her father was a railway worker in the 1940s. Due to the gender bias of the time, the young Buchi Emecheta was initially kept at home while her younger brother was sent to school; but after persuading her parents to consider the benefits of her education, she spent her early childhood at an all-girl's missionary school. Her father died when she was nine years old. A year later, Emecheta received a full scholarship to the Methodist Girls School, where she remained until the age of sixteen when she married Sylvester Onwordi, a student to whom she had been engaged since she was eleven years old.

Death Penalty For Aurora Shooter James Holmes?

Who remembers the Colorado shootings? [read story]

What do you think of the decision of the prosecutor in the case of the Dark Knight cinema shooter,James Holmes, to seek the death penalty for the killer. The move has actually been applauded by victims and friends of victims who say they want him to die. One friend of Holmes' 12 dead victims even said he wanted to watch the alleged killer die.

'I don't know if it's painful. I want him dead. I just want to be there in the room when he dies,' Bryan Beard told ABC outside the Colorado courthouse. 'He took one of my friends from this Earth. Death equals death.'
Beard's close friend Alex Sullivan was one of the 12 people killed in the shooting on July 20 last year. It was his 27th birthday. DailyMail

Would you want someone who hurts you or kills a member of your family to get the death penalty? What do you think of the death penalty in general? I think in this case, the shooter looks mentally not there, but I do support the death penalty in principle, but on a case by case basis.

Change of Domain Name

Hi all. I'm kinda like a bad blog right now. As you may have noticed, the domain name has changed to romancemeetslife.com to match our title and the full direction of this blog. I have been working on this for several weeks now, and more intensively over the past couple of days and today is the culmination of all that hard work. Still, I know not every thing is as it should be. As we sort out all the kinks, I apologize in advance for any inconveniences to you. Please use the comments to let me know of any issues you're having.

Some things you can do to make it an easier transition for you, and for me too.

1. Please update your blog rolls and lists, especially if you added me manually as mynewhitmanwrites.com

2. Please use the social media share buttons to propagate the posts to Facebook, Twitter, G+, etc. This means the new name is indexed more quickly and transition hiccups reduced.

3. If you have linked to me anywhere on your blog recently, please update the posts with the new name. I know this is hard and will understand if you can't do it.

Remind me if I've missed anything. Thanks again.

Introducing Timi Robbins - A New Contributor to this Blog

Oh lord about me eh... laik say I dey advertise for dating website... Oh my this is going to be hard...

I am a happily married Nigerian good ole chap, born and raised in Nigeria, over 40 years ago. Married to an absolutely awesome White American lady, currently living in the United States on the East coast outside our dear capital, Washington DC.

I guess I would say I am an odd ball real life romantic, I send my dear wife flowers, buy her chocolates, and we certainly have "date nights" of dinners and movies as much as we can. I say "odd ball" as I do not call my wife sweetie, dear, honey sugar pie or any of that other funky stuff..lol But she knows she will always get kisses, hugs, back rubs from me. And support in any situation. Also I can cook, but do so rarely as she loves cooking.

I believe in shared responsibilities of the household, especially in one where we are both working professionals. Hence I do not expect a home cooked meal every night, it is impractical. And hence I absolutely clean, take her shopping for groceries and I shop for groceries myself!

Celebrating Mediocrity In Nigeria By Femke van Zeijl

I used to think corruption was Nigeria’s biggest problem, but I’m starting to doubt that. Every time I probe into one of the many issues this country is encountering, at the core I find the same phenomenon: the widespread celebration of mediocrity. Unrebuked underachievement seems to be the rule in all facets of society. A governor building a single road during his entire tenure is revered like the next Messiah; an averagely talented author who writes a colourless book gets sponsored to represent Nigerian literature overseas; and a young woman with no secretarial skills to speak of gets promoted to the oga’s office faster than any of her properly trained colleagues.

Needless to say the politician is probably hailed by those awaiting part of the loot he is stealing; the writer might have got his sponsorship from buddies he has been sucking up to in hagiographies paid for by the subjects; and the young woman’s promotion is likely to be an exchange for sex or the expectancy of it. So some form of corruption plays a role in all of these examples.

But corruption per se does not necessarily stand in the way of development. Otherwise a country like Indonesia—number 118 on Transparency International’s Corruption Perception Index, not that far removed from Nigeria’s 139—would never have made it to the G-20 group of major economies. An even more serious obstacle to development is the lack of repercussions for underachievement. Who in Nigeria is ever held accountable for substandard performance?

Traditional Wedding Pictures - Nse Ikpe Etim and Clifford Sule

Nse Ikpe-Etim had her traditional wedding with husband, Clifford Sule in her hometown, Ikot Etobon, Akwa Ibom. The two exchanged customary marriage vows in front of family members and guests at the St. Stephen Primary School, where the event held. They were both dressed in native Akwa Ibom traditional regalia, and in my opinion, that staff makes her look like royalty. Even the guy's Aladdin headgear. Nice one :)

You can read more about Nse and Clifford Sule at the following links; Nse on Finding a Man, Personal Journey to Love, Civil Marriage, and her Stepson.