10 Pointers About Discussing Sex with your Partner

The most common sex issue faced by otherwise happily married couples? Not surprisingly, it’s the "not enough” factor. Couples often end up bemused and confused by a marriage that’s dimmed in sexual intensity or frequency.

The fact is, "Sexual issues in otherwise good marriages are often resolvable.” But—and you knew this was coming, right?!—you have to talk…to your spouse…about sex. Here are some pointers about discussing the subject with a less-than-talkative hubby.

1. Don’t broach the subject in bed.
Right before or after sex, when you’re naked, is not the best time to examine faults or dissect performance, says Sharky. "It’s when we’re at our most vulnerable.” Plus, your bedroom, and certainly your bed, should be a sanctuary, not a place to air grievances. Instead, choose a pleasant but neutral place, such as a restaurant that’s romantic enough to be relaxing (and noisy enough for a reasonable amount of privacy!).

Back to The Future Giveaway - Make a Choice

The Back to the Future Giveaway hop features books in the past and future. No present day. Anything dealing with time-travel to historical times are welcome. Unless it's a historical setting where they travel to present time. Historical Novels and Futuristic novels are also welcome even with no time travel.

My Gift will be a book that is already out and which fits the description above. One Winner will receive their book(s) of choice(not more than $10) shipped from Book Depository. Only people living in countries on the Free Shipping List are eligible. To enter, you must be a follower of my blog through GFC. Then, leave a comment below with a way I can contact you.

Comments close Midnight January 28, 2013 and I'll send the winner an email. Here's wishing you all a great year of reading and good luck!

Date Night Movie Review - Les Miserables

Right off, I'll tell you that I loved Les Miserable, so expect some gushing. I never knew much about the musical until Susan Boyle won the British Xfactor with the song. I heard it from a musical based on a 19th century book by Victor Hugo and lost much interest. After watching, I'm kicking myself. What the actors brought to the screen was amazing, Fantine's suffering, different kinds of love - given, taken, and unrequited, revolution, passionate people dying for their beliefs, the works!

Les Miserables at its core is a story of good versus evil, on a personal, individual and national scale. We get to ask ourselves, can an evil man become good? How can a good man be so hateful? At what point do we forgive? How much gray do we have between Black and White, and what is the use of walking the straight and narrow line without love?

Javert (played by Russell Crowe) could not let down his duty toward Valjean (Hugh Jackman) even though he sees as over the years the ex-criminal transforms his life. For him, an officer of the law – there is no gray, the law must be upheld by all means. A couple of times in the movie, he walks the edge of a precipice secure in uprightness. When he is forced to consider other attributes to life, it is the most difficult thing for him.

Obama Sworn in, Michelle Debuts New Hairstyle

So our president has just been sworn in for the next four years, and Michelle Obama is also fully showing off her new bangs, and it's looking good on her too. Congrats to their family, and I hope this term moves America even further than the past one. Good luck Obama.

President Barack Obama took the official oath for his second term on Sunday at the White House in a small, private ceremony that set a more subdued tone compared to the historic start of his presidency four years ago.

Gathered with his family in the Blue Room on the White House's ceremonial main floor, Obama put his hand on a Bible and recited the 35-word oath that was read to him by U.S. Chief Justice John Roberts.

Obama hugged his wife Michelle and said, "Thank you," after she congratulated him at the swearing-in.

Facebook May Offer Dating Options with Graph Search

Facebook recently launched a new tool called "Graph Search" as a replacement for its current Search functionality which only searches people, pages, groups and some posts. This new search feature will let anyone find people and maybe connect with them by searching through their profile information and the interests they have added on Facebook. As usual, Facebook is covering their behind, only those things a user has left as public will be returned in the search results.

When they announced the Facebook Graph Search, the focus was on how Graph search will help Facebook users in getting recommendations from your friends and friends of friends when you are looking for say a doctor, a plumber or electrician, a particular product, book TV show. The tool is in beta now and anyone can try it free, here.

When it goes live though, I won't be surprised if Facebook users capitalize on the search graph to find people for dating or stalking. Think of search terms that fit a specific dating profile, such as "Friends of friends who are single" "Single men 30 - 35 who live in New York," or "women under 30 in Lagos." Hmmm...

Manti Te'o and the Internet Girlfriend that Never Was

Or how to avoid being the victim of an internet love scam. Manti Te'o is an Americam college football star who allegedly was a victim of an internet love scam. In US parlance, it is called Catfish - the title of a 2010 movie that brought a similar incident of online dating trickery to the big screen, and a 2012 MTV show of the same name.

This is a situation whereby one enters a long-term relationship with someone they meet online, without ever meeting them in real life. Only as it turns out, their lover is made up, or not who they say they are. This is what happened to Manti Te'o, and in his case, he dated a lady, who then later 'died'. There is more to the story, which is why the football player is making the news, but I want to look at the Catfish angle.

As most of you will know, I met Atala on the internet, we were in the UK, but in the later part, he was in the US. For over a year, we both participated in an online community, gradually getting to know each other, before we began to exchange private and personal messages. When we did decide to pursue a romantic relationship, one thing I insisted on was that we had to meet before anyone really started catching deep feelings.

Banky W - On Looking for Love, Cooking and Marriage

Banky W's full name is Olubankole Wellington, and he is a Nigerian musician. We were discussing the other day about domestic Nigerian men, whether they exist at all, and when they'll begin to admit they also enjoy cooking and stuff. I came across these responses to different interview questions by Banky W, one of my very few Nigerian male celebrity crushes, and as it turns out, he's a real domestic Nigerian man.

BTW, anyone who knows him should please pass on the message to him that his song, Strong Thing, always gives me life as they say. The recent Yes/No seems like the prequel, and I'm liking it too. I will feature that one of these days. In the meantime, enjoy...

We’ve heard about your cooking skills, where did you get them from?
I love food, my love for it is immeasurable, and because of that, I get angry when I don’t get the right kind of food that I want. So I just felt like I could do this cooking thing myself and started looking at recipes on TV, on the web, and then just started cooking!

Five Characteristics Men Want in a Wife

Everyday, I aim to be a better person, friend, and importantly too, partner and lover to Atala, and I can say honestly that this article by Steven Zangrillo is on point for me on all scores. I want to also add that it cuts both ways, women also hope and look for these same qualities in the man they intend to spend the rest of their life with. Read and let's discuss...

Listen, it’s not easy for men. We understand that it’s a two-way street, this dating thing. Tried and true, we young professionals hit the bars, clubs, gyms, restaurants and other various hot spots perceived to be breeding ground for potential girlfriends and spouses. Some of us have even taken the plunge into the e-dating world. We come up empty handed more often than you would think.

Maybe that isn’t surprising to you, but it’s routine to us. All too often, the cute girl on the stairmaster ends up being nothing more than just that – a cute girl. You see, we have a natural tendency to judge (harshly), and often build up our own barriers against accepting a woman into our lives past the first few dates. That said, we do have a few important criteria. Below are five things men look for in a wife:

Boiled Plantain with Afang Vegetable Sauce

This is a picture heavy post since I assume most people know how to boil food? This is a simple meal using some leftover soup from my Afang recipe. I love unripe plantain because I tend to stay away from fried foods and ripe ones mostly lend themselves to dodo, their sugary sweet taste means they don't play too nice with most sauces, in my opinion anyway.

I fell in love with that tangy [Atala calls it bland] taste of unripe plantains after a family member became diabetic and had to adjust their menu. It makes sense to me in the well being journey not to wait till you're sick before taking measures to be healthy. So I look at the menu of diabetics or those with high blood pressure and borrow a leaf.

Dreaming of Books Giveaway - For Days and A Night

One of the first books I read this year, and which I'm featuring today is by a fellow blogger and writer, Seun Odukoya. And because the book is free, everyone is a winner.

Click this link to Download For Days and a Night

"With a quirky worldview and a lovely mix of naive and badly-experienced dark humor," For Days and A Night is a collection of short stories, a poem and some candid personal opinions – basically Seun Odukoya's perspective on some general issues, especially romance and relationships. It is his first published book.

To support the author, you can also follow Seun's blog http://seunodukoya.wordpress.com/ and his Twitter @seunodukoya.