Having a Wedding for the Sake of The Ancestors

Was I the only one who thought the reports of 8 years old Sanele Masilela's marriage to 61years old Helen Shabangu in Tshwane, South Africa, were, in the words of Twain, greatly exaggerated? I had seen the news several weeks before it went viral through the British tabloid media. Now they are sensationalising reports of the boy having dinner with his "wife".

What had made me read and flip the page was the part of the initial report that stated clearly that the wedding ceremony was not legally binding and was just a ritual prompted by the boy who said his dead grandfather whom he was named after wanted a white wedding.

If there's anything interesting about the whole thing, I think it's that their whole community is very supersitious, which is their own look out. Or, the boy is probably spoilt, and gets his way whenever he wants something. Naming him after his dead grandfather may have something to do with it sha. Therefore, no Babatunde, Nnenna, or Nnanna names for me :)

#WeJustCantDate - Reasons You Just Can't Date Him or Her

‏Why can't you date one of those guys or ladies who has been on your case for the longest? Is it their kissing skills, their body hygiene, their spending habits, how they dress, or how social they are? Some of the reasons trending on Twitter are below. For more fun and games, leave your own in the comments :)

@MkpenimkeEkanem #wejustcantdate If Your Demand Culture Is Very High.
@TheEtnies_Jags: #WeJustcantDate if every guy on twitter is your boo, hunnie, baby..""
@lizzywindeck: #WeJustCantDate if u cant spend money on mi
@LarsShinyemba: #WeJustCantDate if you color block.
@mystiC_SLosH: #wejustcantdate if you snorelike a screen muncher tho
‏@mystiC_SLosH #wejustcantdate if gulder ultimate search takes place in ur armpit
‏‏@pweetylisa: If u pick ur nose wt ur finger  n still stick dt finger in2 ya mouf #WeJustCantDate
@Itz_ms_skittles: #WeJustCantDate if yhu re harsh"
@lchronicle: #WeJustCantDate if you are keeping ur body for ur future husband & am busy spending my future wife's money on you #lobatan"
@The_Awesome101: #WeJustCantDate if u kiss with your eyes open...

Nike Oshinowo on her Endometriosis Experience and Infertility

When we started discussing seeking medical opinion on not having children after we had been trying for long, I wondered if it could be endometriosis. Tests have shown my case is not that, but for a lot of women, Endometriosis has been recognised as the significant cause of their infertility. Even where a woman is able to have children or before she gets to that stage, endometriosis can cause chronic pelvic pain, and other gynecological problems.

Since she turned 40 and released her fitness DVD, Nike Oshinowo has been speaking out on her experience, and campaigning for more education for women and young girls on the reality of endometriosis. Nike Oshinowo spoke recently to Vanguard,

I have lived with endometriosis since the age of 13. I was sent to boarding school in England when I was seven. I went to prep school. It was during the first few days in secondary school that I began my periods (menstrual). They called the ambulance and I was hospitalized for 10 days because the pain started and wouldn’t stop.

Love and Marriage Can Mend Hearts at any Age

Ijaw Leader and former Information Minister, Chief Edwin Clark, who is 86, remarried last week to well known medical doctor, Dr Abisola Sodipe Akindeko. Some parts of the wedding ceremony took place at his home in Apapa and the others at the bride's home at Okupe Estate, Maryland.

It seems Dr. Akindeko had experienced some tragedy in the past. According to Lindaikeji,

Dr Abisola Akindeko is the former best friend of Iyabo Obasanjo who lost two of her children in an assassination attempt on Iyabo Obasanjo's life. Dr Abisola's children were riding in Iyabo's car when it was attacked by hired assassins in 2003. The gunmen, thinking Iyabo was in the car, shot into the car killing the two children instantly. Iyabo and Dr Abisola had been riding in the doctors car, while the children rode in Iyabo's car.

I read somewhere that Dr Akindeko is now 53, she looks great for her age BTW, and is ready to move on. Marriage when young and deliriously in love is amazing, but love and marriage when people are older can be a blessing too. I wish the couple more health, more life and more years together in their marriage.

Ford Adverts Showing Women Bound and Gagged is Offensive

The Kardashian sisters bound and gagged  with Paris Hilton driving. 

After online outcry, Ford and its Indian advertising agency have apologized for ads showing women bound and gagged in the back of a Ford Figo and admitted that they should never have been created at all.

One of the ads for the Ford Figo subcompact car is the one above showing caricatures Paris Hilton winking while the Kardashian sisters are gagged and bound in the back of the Figo. The other ad shows a different set of three scantily clad women gagged, bound, and crammed into the back of the Figo while Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi looks back from the front seat, smiling and giving the "peace sign."

The tag line at the bottom of both ads says, "Leave Your Worries Behind." IMO, the ads do not showcase this tagline at all. Instead they are offensive to women on so many levels. And to think this is happening in India barely weeks after tourists had been either raped or been victims of attempted rape. Let's not even forget the young lady that died last year after viciously being gang raped.

Dear Myne - I Don't Love My Fiance Like I Used To

I’m a huge fan of your blog and I really admire your approach to life. Ok, here's the gist... I was dating this guy since my first year in the university and I equally assisted him in getting entry into school the next academic session. I loved him but we had unending issues for all the years we dated and I broke it up when I graduated. I felt we weren’t close any more, there was little or no communication, and I’m igbo, he's not. Also he became verbally abusive and to crown it all, he's a Muslim while I’m from a strong catholic home.

Now after I called it off, we never communicated for over a year and only reconnected early this year. I am a corp member now while he's about rounding off with his final projects in school. He wanted us to continue from where we stopped and hopefully get married.

After much thought, I obliged because the other relationship I entered after him didn't even last up to six months. My supposed lover who promised to mend my heart practically jilted me and got married few months later. I was wrecked and made a firm decision to find true love that is indeed true to the word.

Comments That look Real but are Spam Comments

I could also title this post the scourge of the anonymous, but the truth is that sometimes, these spammers come and register blogger profiles, or they fill in a name with their link. But whether they come as Anonymous or as "seemingly" real comments, I'm writing this post to share with you guys how to recognise them and keep them as far away from your commenting section as possible.

So how do you know if the comments on your blog are spam? Obviously if someone post content that's not related to what you posted about, you can consider it as spam. Such comments as "Great Info! I Love it!! Will be back later to read some more. Can I add you to my Xanga group?" may not be unrelated, and will even stroke your ego as a blogger, but it is spam.

Some of the spam comments I just deleted are below

6 Reasons To Appreciate Your Mate by Z.R. Moore

Appreciation is the act of giving something or someone their proper value, and everybody has value. Value in a relationship is important because it lets a person know where they stand, and what they mean to you; appreciation is a way of letting that person know these things. When someone is dedicated to a relationship, and they don’t know how valuable they are to that partnership it changes how they function, and how they operate in that union. When a person believes that you don’t value them they tend to devalue the relationship they’re in.

Relationships tend to develop problems when one of the partners doesn’t feel appreciated. The longer that person feels unappreciated the more likely it is that they may come to resent being taken for granted, so by purposely showing your partner that you appreciate what they do, you’re eliminating a lot of problems that can happen when you don’t. Here are some good reasons why you should show them how you feel.

Reason 1: It makes them happy
Most people enjoy doing things for other people, and many derive happiness from being generous and giving.It’s when they never get a thank you, or other acknowledgement, that they become disgruntled about doing so. Most people don’t need payment for the acts of kindness, and love that they do for you, so simply telling them how much you appreciate their efforts will make them happy. They can never hear this too much.

Awakening - The Movie: Now in Nigerian Cinemas

It has echoes of Final Destination but the trailer shows that it is a totally Nigerian movie, even with ties to some time in history and to ancient gods or oaths.  I saw the trailers to this movie earlier and was impressed. Reading two positive reviews [here and here] made me publish this post calling on people to go see the movie for those in Nigeria. It seems they shot on a really small budget and had little left over for promotion. I think good producers and directors need to be encouraged, so go see the movie at your nearest cinema if you can.

I have contacted the director to ask for those of us who live in the US, if there is any chance that Awakening is coming soon to Amazon or Youtube for paid streaming? Or even Iroko+? There is also the option of Distrify? Nigerian movie makers should get with the diaspora audience already jare.

This is the blurb of the movie and you can watch the trailer below;

A story about a young man who suddenly starts to have strange dreams about people dying and discovers his dreams are actually premonitions to real life events. He begins to investigate his connection with the deaths and discovers a sinister plot by greater forces that have existed even before the foundations of this nation. Together with a top newspaper journalist, they race against time to find a solution to the strange events.

Uru Eke on Single Parent Upbringing and Her Kind of Man

Uru Eke is an upcoming Nollywood actress. She used to work as a IT Consultant in the UK but moved back fully to work in the movie industry in Nigeria because that was what she felt more passionate about. She has been moving up gradually and and has now featured in several high profile movies including Last Flight to Abuja by Obi Emelonye. Uru Eke spoke to the BN Weekend interview crew on various subjects including her work, her family life, and thoughts on relationships. As you can imagine, I was very interested in the latter two. See some snippets from the interview and more pictures of Uru Eke below;

What kind of upbringing did you have?
I was raised in a strict environment. My Mum is a hard woman, no messing about with her. But she is my hero, my rock; I don’t know what I would have done without her. My Mum is the most positive person I know.

I notice you’ve only talked about your Mum. What about your Dad?
My Mum is a single parent but she did an amazing job. I don’t even feel like I grew up with a single parent. I turned out all right.