Friday, March 29, 2013

Dear Myne - He Almost Raped Me, Should I Report Him?

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Dear Myne, I am such a dilema and very hurt. I am in my mid 20s and work as a researcher somewhere in Europe and was presenting at a conference this week. The lodging was in a flat with 2 guys ( the venue was a resort), I had my own room and so did the guys.

However, after a trip to the city, one of the guys (non-Nigerian) had to do something in the city, leaving me with this other guy. I didnt think anything was amiss, we gisted, chatted and I told him I want to take a nap, so as to wake up to do some work.

Somewhere in the night, I felt a movement around me and I saw this guy naked! I started screaming and he was asking that I stopped. I was so terrified. In my shock, I went into the patio and found a place to sleep. Called my boyfriend in the UK, and he was very angry and he asked me to walk the guy out of the apartment ( I could because, he was staying an extra night, based on his travel schedule. I made arrangement with my other colleague as a means of helping a brother from home).

Homeless Man Who Returned Ring, Reunited With His Family

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Who remembers that story last February about a homeless man that returned a lost engagement ring left in his donation cup? If not, read here. Harris, who had been homeless for years before then, now has a home, a job, and last Sunday, he reunited with the family he had not spoken with for 16 years.

Four of his siblings surprised him on the set of the Today show, after his younger sister Robin saw a story about Harris and his good deed online. The lady whose ring Harris returned was so impressed by his honesty that they set up a website to take donations for him, hoping to raise the $4,000 the worth of the ring. That fund raised $185,000!

Talk about how it pays to be good and do good. I hope things continue to work out for him.

Official Video For Waje's I Wish

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The part of this video I liked the best was where she was playing piano in a room lighted by chandeliers of hurricane lanterns. And Waje sings very well too.

Natural Hair in Dreadlocks Becomes Target For Thieves

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Dreads are one option I've been considering for my natural hair, so this news gave me the shivers. In economics, it is said demand must match supply, otherwise a black market flourishes. When it comes to using natural African hair as extensions, this is coming true in a very nasty way. In south Africa, men who seem to have longer dreadlocks are being attacked on the streets, and their hair cut with a knife, a broken bottle, or whatever.

Jack Maseko was a victim recently, three men attacked him and took his mobile phone and the dreadlocks he had been growing for three years. Mutsa Madonko had been growing his for 10 years before his hair was shaved off outside a Johannesburg night club also. According to the BBC;

Shoulder-length dreadlocks are sold for between 200 rand ($23; £15) and 700 rand, while longer ones cost as much as 2,000 rand.

So what happens to the stolen hair?

Thursday, March 28, 2013

#DearFutureWife - What Would You Say To Your Future Wife?

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This hashtag has been setting fire to twitter with good and bad tweets like "Your Twitter record must be clean, no twitfight, no nudes. U must trend for the right reasons." and the one embedded above." See more below;

Women Who Go Out on Dates with Men For Free Food

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Some ladies have made it a part time career. It was in 2006 that the concept of 'dinner whore' was popularized when the New York Post published an article about Brooke Parkhurst, pictured above. She was then a 26-year-old food blogger, and confessed to running up a combined tab of $30,000 after going on more than 200 dinner dates.

More recently, a New York Carrie Bradshaw wannabe, Brittny Pierre, kept her food budget down by utilizing online dating sites like OKCupid and Craiglist personals to score dinner dates, not for romance but for the free meals. In her own words on XOJane;

Throwback Thursday - Oleku 1999

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This is me circa 1999, still in uni, still innocent, trying out the oleku that was all the fashion then, lol...

Someone explained to me what tbt meant in this post and since I have all these old pictures, I decided to share some with you. One every Thursday. If you want to join me, say so in the comments, and I'll add a link box to this post, and you can link up.

Are there Truly Happy Marriages in Nigeria?

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The main reason I write romance novels, and why I moved into blogging about relationships is that I wish more people, and women especially have a better experience of their relationships and marriages. I have defended good and happy marriages before when an article insisted they were all based on lies [see post], but I have also wondered why Nigerian marriages are sometimes such a farce? [see post].

The issue of the dysfunction in Nigerian marriages have come up again. Sting asked whether truly happy marriages exist in Nigeria. She wrote;

At this point I want to know what is the incentive for me to get married. People don't take their vows seriously, no one wants to work on their marriages anymore, the divorce rate is too damn high. Seriously, what is the point of marriage? Is it just a rite of passage that I am expected to go through as an African woman?

I hear stories of people who regret getting married and are truly unhappy but stuck because of societal expectations. If you are married, are you happy? Is it what you expected? Do you think finding the right person is luck or you did something special ( besides pray). What would you do differently?

Dear Myne - Did I Frustrate and Drive Him Away?

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I am in my late twenties and working and living in the US. Last year, a friend asked if she could give my number to a guy she knew living and working in the UK, he was actively looking for a wife to settle down with. We were to chat, get to know ourselves and see if we wanted to take it to the dating/courting level, and I agreed.

Though she briefed me about him, I found myself sleuthing and snooping around on the Internet to know more about him. I didn't hear from him for about two weeks after he had been given my number.  I decided to add him on Facebook - by this time I said if he didn't respond I'd write him off as not interested.

He did add me, introduced himself and apologized for delaying to connect out of work since our mutual friend had strongly recommended me. I accepted his apology and soon after, our mutual friend contacted me, saying he told her he was quite keen after seeing my profile and he was going ahead to court me (bla bla bla), and she asked me to please be kind to him as he was a very nice person.

That Gang Rape in 2011 actually Happened in Rivers State

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A rape video went viral last year, and I think before the news about it died down, a couple of the suspects had been arrested. It was generally believed that the rape took place at the Abia State University, but the police have confirmed it did not, but in Rivers State. Vanguard reports that Abia State government is not happy.

Reacting to the revelation by the Police in Rivers State that the gang rape actually took place at Obite in Etche local government area of Rivers State, Chief of Staff to the state governor, Mr. Cosmos Ndukwe, warned that the state had had enough of the embarrassment. He said the state government would no longer take kindly  to politically-motivated bad press directed against it.

According to him, those who linked the incident to Abia State University were hasty and to say the least, made with so much bad blood. He said they already formed their opinion without any investigation, noting that they also refused to listen to Abia State Police Command which preliminary investigations showed that the incident did not happen in the state.
While he has a point, not everything has to be political bad press. The outrage should be directed at finding and prosecuting the culprits, and not on debating the venue of the crime.