Toke Makinwa on Relationships Rules By Oprah and Dr Phil

Toke Makinwa {read 10 Things you didn't know about Toke here} shares another video in which she discusses rules on relationships and whether they should apply. It seems like when she first saw these particular rules from Oprah and Dr. Phil, she took them as gospel, but she has since matured to understand that any relationship rule should be more like a guideline and shouldn't be used to monitor a particular relationship that one is in at any point in time.

I wanted to share this video because someone mentioned in the post about non-verbal signs that a guy really loves you {here}, that a lot of the clues seem stereotypical, and that is because they are. Relationship rules are not structures to box you in, but windows to help you see what could be outside or glasses to help you see what you might be missing. And in the case of 10 Things, or 25 Tips, or 7 ways or whatever, you don't have to do all, or use all, or find all, just enough to make you happy.

The article which Toke reads in the video and which is supposed to be Oprah's thoughts on men and relationships is below as well as a short paragraph at the end by Dr. Phil.

POLL - Should You Remain Friends With An Ex?

When you date someone, for most people, it means that you hope for the long term. But sometimes, it doesn't end that way. After the memories you've both made together, the laughter or the tears, you have to get up, dust your backside and move on. In many instances where there is a break-up discussion, and both people are trying to show they're mature and all, they decide to remain friends. Is it worth it? What would you do? Vote below and give more details in the comments too. Thanks!

Another Baby Factory Discovered - Reasons Why More Will Be Found

For the second time in a barely a week,the police today raided a 'baby factory' in Enugu and rescued six pregnant teenagers from the coerced selling of their newborns. This time, three suspects were arrested, unlike in the previous case where the madam is still on the run. According to AFP;

Nigerian police on Wednesday said they had found six pregnant teenage girls in a raid on a house and arrested three people suspected of planning to sell their babies. It was the second so-called baby-factory uncovered in a week in the west African nation.

"We acted on intelligence information and raided the house in Enugu (city) where we met six girls, under 17 and all pregnant, and freed them," police spokesman Ebere Amaraizu in southeastern Enugu state told AFP.

He said two men and a woman believed to be operating a child trafficking ring were arrested during the raid on Monday and were cooperating with police. Amaraizu said the girls had been "lured into the house with a promise of some money after" delivering a child.

6 Things You Can Do To Keep Your Marriage Fresh

Most romantic relationships experience up and downs, and in some marriages it gets stuck in the downers. Before you guys got married, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely spontaneous experience. However, after a few years of marriage, the euphoria begins to fade. Phone calls become a bother, touch is not always welcome, and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, drive you nuts.

Mort Fertel, who I have referenced HERE, says that "At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages break down. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their relationship for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it."

I agree with him that the solution to a flat marriage lies within it rather than outside. As long as there are no abusive issues love is a decision you can refresh, especially after those first euphoric days or years are past. In marriage and other long term relationships, you have to "make" love every day. It takes time, effort, and most importantly, wisdom. These are some things I came up with that can help keep marriage fresh.

Chioma Yvonne Mbanefo - Learn From Other Couple's Experiences

Chioma Yvonne Mbanefo is an entrepreneur, writer, and member, Organising Team at TEDxEuston. She says about herself, "I have always been creative and entrepreneurial at a very young age, from making and selling ethnic ragdolls, crafts and even hairdressing in my teenage years. I am currently one of the Directors of an IT Firm based in the City of London, as well as a part time university lecturer." Yvonne is also a wife and mother. Enjoy her marriage avowals;


How did you meet your husband?

15 years ago on boxing day I was getting ready to relocate to the United States. The plan was to go, sort out where I would live etc, come back and get the rest of my stuff. On the eve of my departure, a friend asked me to come and hang out with her and also braid her hair one last time. As I was as her apartment, her boyfriend dropped by, and we told him we needed to buy hair extensions. Since the hair shop was near his friend's house, he decided to return the movie he borrowed from his friend.

We went to his house, and we got introduced. I was quite intrigued because the roast turkey he made and served us tasted wonderful and for me it was unusual that a single guy would take the time to make roast turkey with the trimmings. He was also the reserved and the quiet type and I am the opposite. Since I was packing all my stuff and travelling the next day, I looked anything but glamorous.

We then jointly decided to go to Chinatown for drinks and dinner and in the process myself and the quiet guy struck up a conversation. To cut a long story short, I still traveled to the US the next day but then turned it into a holiday. I came back to England after 3 weeks of long phone calls and that was the end of my plans to relocate to the US. Three years later, we got married.

Top Nigerian Male Model, Ngoli Okafor Gets Married

Ngo Okafor and Kindra Hanson

Ngoli Okafor is a top male and sports model, and according to his website, Getingo, "Ngo Okafor has graced the pages and covers of countless magazines and has been called the most downloaded black male model. As an actor he has worked on numerous TV shows, movies and Soap operas. As a boxer, he is a back-to-back, two-time Golden Gloves Champion."

What many don't know about Ngo Okafor is that he is a romantic at heart. He fell in love with his wife, Kindra Hanson at first sight. The couple met on a photo shoot back in 2004, but only started dating in 2008. They have been together ever since and got married almost exactly one month ago on April 13.

Even though they had been living together for three and a half years by August 2012, Ngoli's brand new bride, Kindra, still got a big surprise when he proposed in front of family and friends at their mutual friend's place. Continue for more pictures of the surprise proposal and the very cute story of how they met. Wedding pictures coming soon, hopefully :)

Couple Love - Mercy Johnson's Love Note to Husband On His Birthday

Mercy Johnson and Odi Okojie

I hav lots of luv msg in my head,but I know he deserves more.so confused on wat d sweetest word 2 my hubby should be.hmmm I Love You ODI.HBD
— Mercy Johnson Okojie (@realmercyj) May 15, 2013

Happy birthday to him and may the love keep shacking them for ever. Read her interview here.

Church Remains the Top Place To Get Married

This was the resounding result according to a poll carried out right here on Romance Meets Life. Having a wedding in or around your home was the least favorite place people dream of getting married with just about 7% of the votes. A Landmark like a castle or popular building came in a close second followed by Beach and Public Garden which tied for third place. Of the 114 people who voted, the results are as follows;

Church or Registry  31.58%  (36 votes)

Landmark e.g Castle  26.32%  (30 votes)

Beach  17.54%  (20 votes)

Public Garden  17.54%  (20 votes)

In Your Home  7.02%  (8 votes)

Check out these audacious ideas for wedding locations. Next Poll coming up soon, leave some suggestions in the comments if you have any topic in mind. Thanks for taking part in these polls.

The Mother Revealed in How I Met Your Mother

My interest in How I Met Your Mother began to fizzle after a couple of seasons, when the titular mother was still not yet in the picture. I still caught an episode here and there, and the recent finale of the last season was one of them. And guess what? The mother has been revealed, and it is said that next season will be the last. Well, it took them long enough. Yahoo reports;

After a drum roll that has lasted eight seasons and almost 200 episodes (183 to be exact), we finally met the love of Ted's (Josh Radnor) life in Monday night's "How I Met Your Mother" season finale.

The episode was almost over. Lily (Alyson Hannigan) was still trying to wrap her head around Ted's secret decision to move to Chicago. She was also still thinking about moving to Italy with hubby Marshall (Jason Segal). Anyway, everyone was getting ready to go to Robin (Cobie Smulders) and Barney's (Neil Patrick Harris) wedding.

Including: a girl in boots carrying a yellow umbrella and a bass guitar (hello, Mother!) and buying one train ticket to Farhampton. Then the episode was over.

Brad Pitt Praises Angelina Jolie For Choosing Preventive Double Mastectomy

Angelina Jolie, who is 37, yesterday revealed that she had chosen the surgical procedure of a double mastectomy as a preventative measure against cancer. This was after genetic tests revealed she had an 87 per cent chance of developing breast cancer and a 50 per cent chance of ovarian cancer. In her article, she had taken the difficult decision so she could tell her children “they don’t need to fear they will lose me”.

She also wrote in the same article, read here, about her partner, Brad Pitt, who she commended for standing by her through the over three months it took to complete her treatment. He has now come out with his support of her openly. Brad Pitt told the Evening Standard:

“Having witnessed this decision firsthand, I find Angie’s choice, as well as so many others like her, absolutely heroic. I thank our medical team for their care and focus. "All I want for is for her to have a long and healthy life, with myself and our children. This is a happy day for our family.”

It's amazing what we can face up to when we have people we love and who care for us too, batting in our corner. I wish them all the best. And they should do and have their wedding too :)