Celebrating Mediocrity In Nigeria By Femke van Zeijl

I used to think corruption was Nigeria’s biggest problem, but I’m starting to doubt that. Every time I probe into one of the many issues this country is encountering, at the core I find the same phenomenon: the widespread celebration of mediocrity. Unrebuked underachievement seems to be the rule in all facets of society. A governor building a single road during his entire tenure is revered like the next Messiah; an averagely talented author who writes a colourless book gets sponsored to represent Nigerian literature overseas; and a young woman with no secretarial skills to speak of gets promoted to the oga’s office faster than any of her properly trained colleagues.

Needless to say the politician is probably hailed by those awaiting part of the loot he is stealing; the writer might have got his sponsorship from buddies he has been sucking up to in hagiographies paid for by the subjects; and the young woman’s promotion is likely to be an exchange for sex or the expectancy of it. So some form of corruption plays a role in all of these examples.

But corruption per se does not necessarily stand in the way of development. Otherwise a country like Indonesia—number 118 on Transparency International’s Corruption Perception Index, not that far removed from Nigeria’s 139—would never have made it to the G-20 group of major economies. An even more serious obstacle to development is the lack of repercussions for underachievement. Who in Nigeria is ever held accountable for substandard performance?

Traditional Wedding Pictures - Nse Ikpe Etim and Clifford Sule

Nse Ikpe-Etim had her traditional wedding with husband, Clifford Sule in her hometown, Ikot Etobon, Akwa Ibom. The two exchanged customary marriage vows in front of family members and guests at the St. Stephen Primary School, where the event held. They were both dressed in native Akwa Ibom traditional regalia, and in my opinion, that staff makes her look like royalty. Even the guy's Aladdin headgear. Nice one :)

You can read more about Nse and Clifford Sule at the following links; Nse on Finding a Man, Personal Journey to Love, Civil Marriage, and her Stepson.

Tribute to Roger Ebert by his Wife, Chaz Ebert

I have always known about Roger Ebert since I started being interested in Hollywood and it's movies, and more recently since I got the Fandango app and started checking out the critic's reviews more often, I've been drawn to his blog for the Chicago Sun times. He is witty and fun, and yet can be serious too. I like his approach to movie reviews, and if I read his review before seeing a movie, I enjoy it more, reading the reviews after equally gives me another or a deeper insight into what I've seen.

On a personal level, I've seen him a few times in interviews, twice alone, and once with his wife, and I found his survival in the face of aggressive and repeated cancer amazing, the strength of the woman who had stood by him inspiring. Roger Ebert had attributed the success of his fight against cancer to his wife of over 20 years, Chaz Ebert, and now in announcing his death, she has penned an equally touching tribute.

CHICAGO, April 4, 2013 -- Chaz Ebert issued the following statement Thursday about the passing of her husband, Roger Ebert, a day after he celebrated 46 years as a film critic:

"I am devastated by the loss of my love, Roger -- my husband, my friend, my confidante and oh-so-brilliant partner of over 20 years. He fought a courageous fight. I've lost the love of my life and the world has lost a visionary and a creative and generous spirit who touched so many people all over the world. We had a lovely, lovely life together, more beautiful and epic than a movie. It had its highs and the lows, but was always experienced with good humor, grace and a deep abiding love for each other.

The Adventures of a Miss Series - Episode 1

Why am I still single oh Lord? These were my first thoughts this early Monday morning. I didn’t think I should be grateful that I was alive oh, or was able to get out of my bed with no problem or that I have a job and a business to go to this morning. My thoughts were consumed by one of my best friend’s weddings I attended this past weekend. I’m the last one in my group of friends who is still single, Semi and Tayo are married, Sope is engaged and Kehinde has been with her boo for a year and half now.

I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I do want a man who is mine and I don’t want to settle for just anyone out of desperation. It’s not like there are no guys. I am a beautiful woman and there are always at least 2 or 3 guys trying to wife me up, but they just don’t feel right or am I just too picky? I have prayed and I know for a fact that they are not my God ordained husbands.

The first one Muhammad is a Muslim and while there is nothing wrong with being Muslim, it goes against everything I believe in. I think of my life with him wrapped up in my hijab all the time and I’d have to convert my religion and raise my kids to be Muslim. I don’t think it’s something I want to do at all and in all honesty I have completely shut down any feelings that may develop there. Although he’s still trying to convince me by giving me lavish gifts every week. I have never known a man as persuasive as him, but even with all the gifts I know in my heart it’s not going to happen.

Healthy Salad Dinner

Roasted chicken drumsticks with shredded green leaf lettuce, tomatoes and lima beans topped with hickory bacon dressing. Surprisingly filling.

Watch Gidi Up Episode 6 - Snakes and Ladders

Gidi Up is a thrilling adventure centered around the lives of four friends in pursuit of happiness, success and independence. However, a few wrong choices quickly turn their Lagos dreams into a Gidi nightmare.

In this episode of Gidi Up, things are looking up for Tokunbo, we finally get to meet Sharon, Chief's daughter and Obi's life is spiraling into a Gidi nightmare

Catch up with Episode 1 and 2 HERE, Episode 3 HERE and Episode 4 HERE.

This 8-part webseries shows how Tokunbo (Deyemi Okanlawon), Eki (Oreka Godis), Yvonne ( Somkele Iyamah) and Obi (Karibi Fubura) deal with love, sex and making a living in one of Africa's biggest cities.

Jada Pinkett-Smith Defines Open Relationship For Her Marriage

Jada Pinket Smith and Will Smith have not hidden the fact that their marriage is an open one, even if in the past we were not sure what that meant for them. In a recent interview she clarified that it means "respecting that you're in a partnership, but knowing that you're an individual as well."

I am fine with that kind of an open relationship, and even polygamy as I said here. I am not an advocate, nor will I promote it, but I think the relationship with one's husband is something each woman has to make a personal decision about and not be influenced unnecessarily by those who aren't living it with them.

For me, open relationships are those in which you tell me when you begin to fall for someone else, and we can decide what to do about it. Will I give permission, probably not. 

Some may say this opens the door to cheating, but I think it promotes honesty and communication first of all, and who says there's no cheating in relationships where the parties are all jealous and possessive?

I think that cheating cuts across both genders. However, in a relationship with friendship and mutual respect, I think it is easier to make cheating a non-issue.

Would You Wear A Black Wedding Dress?

"There has been a growing interest in black wedding dresses," Tova Marc, a wedding gown designer who specializes in non-traditional colors, tells Shine. "They are tired of the same old white and ivory." Marc also says Lady Gaga's edgy look has had an impact on brides-to-be. Who knew Lady Gaga's fans would translate that into their weddings?

Supposedly, this trend in black gowns started with Vera Wang's runway show in 2011 which paraded 15 black-ish wedding dresses. But, black isn't for everyone, certainly not for me though the designs of some of these dresses below are very lovely. Check out other non traditional brides, here, and Ufuoma Ejenebor's Gray and White gown, here.

Throwback Thursday - Jambite

Another picture from way back when, this was 97 after the October rush of my first year in the university. I really loved this blouse, which was thrifted from my mum's 70's closet by the way, and would wear it all the time. And how adventurous I felt then, using colored extensions, this was the very first time, and I'll always remember this picture for that, lol...

Public Proposals - Yemi Sax Asks Girlfriend for Forever Joy

Towing the line of a public proposal, a Nigerian Saxophonist, Yemi Sax, proposed to his girlfriend, Shola, yesterday at an ice cream place in Lagos. Linda Ikeji was able to get a copy of what he actually said to her, corny but sweet :)

Adeshola Sholatayo Durojaiye...
The first day I met you Shola, my heart beats, and something said to me, this is the mother of your children and the woman specially made for you from heaven. This has never happened to me ever since I've grown up to be a man. I've met so many ladies but you are a rear germ and can't be compared to any of them.

Today i look in to your eyes to tell u this
0. U are the true definition of love
1. U are the true definition of a good woman,
2.U've brought nothing but hapiness to my life
3.Your love to me is more than anything in dis world
4. You are the apple of my eyes
5. I love u so very much shola
6.I cherish u very much shola