Jada Pinket Smith and Will Smith have not hidden the fact that their marriage is an open one, even if in the past we were not sure what that meant for them. In a recent interview she clarified that it means "respecting that you're in a partnership, but knowing that you're an individual as well."
I am fine with that kind of an open relationship, and even polygamy as I said here. I am not an advocate, nor will I promote it, but I think the relationship with one's husband is something each woman has to make a personal decision about and not be influenced unnecessarily by those who aren't living it with them.
For me, open relationships are those in which you tell me when you begin to fall for someone else, and we can decide what to do about it. Will I give permission, probably not.
Some may say this opens the door to cheating, but I think it promotes honesty and communication first of all, and who says there's no cheating in relationships where the parties are all jealous and possessive?
I think that cheating cuts across both genders. However, in a relationship with friendship and mutual respect, I think it is easier to make cheating a non-issue.
In the interview above on HuffPost, Jada addressed the speculation that she and Will Smith have an open marriage.
"I've always told Will, 'You can do whatever you want as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay'. Because at the end of the day, Will is his own man. I'm here as his partner, but he is his own man. He has to decide who he wants to be and that's not for me to do for him. Or vice versa."
"I don't think it's easy to be married to anyone, I think that you have to go into a relationship knowing -- especially when you're dedicating to someone for the rest of your life -- this is a life partnership ... He's my best friend. He's been by my side through some of the most difficult parts of my life. And so that's something you can never take away."
Will said in another interview. "What's helped us is being supportive, no matter what the situation is. I'm so lucky to have someone like Jada. She's really an incredible woman, wife and mother. ...she is just absolutely hardcore, like she absolutely is unfazed by the weight and the pressures of life. She is so calm and cool and easy in any situation. She can bear anything, and I just love that about her."
Now I know many people are opposed to any meaning of the word open when it comes to relationship or marriage, but do you think Jada and Will are proof that it could work?
Will and Jada have never admitted to having what the world describes as an open relationship. Their quotes which you used above in no way lend credence to your claims
ReplyDeleteYou seem to be stuck on what the world describes, this post is about what Jada and Will, and maybe you or I describe for ourselves.
Deletei do like what Jada said about Will deciding who he wants to be... Many women try to define what their man can do or cannot do, which rarely if ever works. i think there is wisdom in what she said, there is a way you can make a man do what you want, not be telling him what to do but by making him want to be a better man for himself and then for you.
ReplyDeleteThat really made an impression on me, especially as it is something I think works for me. I don't do rules too well, but having an accountability partner really helps in any circumstance if we want to grow and be better people.
DeleteHmmm, I'm not sure Myne, I think wha they meant by open is that they have open communication if they're attracted to othe people, I've heard W.S describe it that way before. Open rmarriages means either party can sleep with other people outside of their marriage, don't think that's what W.S and J.Ps marriage is.
ReplyDeleteI did not call theirs an open marriage, but a relationship where there is openness. And your description is right on point on what that can look like.
DeleteIn an interview, Will admitted that they both opening fantasize about other people, and are honest to eachother about it. That is entirely different from having an open relationship which is where both parties are allowed to step out.
DeleteI'l call that being swingers rather than simply an open relationship. In the scenario I'm describing in this post, and with Will and Jada, openness means honesty, accountability and mutual respect.
DeleteFrom the video excerpt, it seems to me that she is saying that he needs to take responsibility for his own behaviour, that she's not going to be jealous and "checking up" on him when he is travelling but will trust him to do what he knows to be is right. I don't get the sense that she is saying they have an "open relationship" where either of them can go out and sleep with other people as much as they like.
ReplyDeleteAnd I didn't say that either, I quoted what she said in the video. But again, how many people can be so open like that?
DeleteThanks so much for writing and sharing this. They are a fantastic couple.
ReplyDeleteI have a half crush on both of them :)
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