Sunday and Toyin Adewale - Money Helps You Enjoy Marriage

Toyin Adewale is a popular Nollywood (Yoruba) actress. She has been married to her husband,Sunday for over 20 years. The couple met while studying and since then their relationship, which moved quickly into marriage, has produced three lovely children and remarkable success in their chosen career in Nollywood. In this interview, they share the gains of marriage and working together in the same industry.

How did you both find yourselves in entertainment industry?

Sunday: We met in school, Rimax Institute, where I studied theatre arts. I was in diploma class when she enrolled as a fresher. At that time and till date, she stands out among her peers and she is very pretty. When I got closer to her, I realised that she is intelligent and industrious. At that time, I was involved in some kind of craft apart from acting. She advised me to concentrate more on doing the craft, which she sold at her mother’s shop and returned the proceeds to me. All these endeared her to me and I had to make her understand I did not just want to date her; I was interested in having her as my wife. That was about 24 years ago. We dated for four years and then got married. That means we have been married for 20 years.

Did you give him a tough time when he was wooing you?

Toyin:  No. When I met him, I realised he was good at his profession. I did not even entertain fears about dating someone in the industry because I was quick to realise he is from a good home like me.

How did he propose to you?

Toyin: It was nothing special. Just the normal I-want-to-marry-you talk. It was not like the way it is done now.

Was there any opposition from your families?

Toyin: There was some form of opposition from my family. My father felt I should get married to somebody that had a better job like a lawyer or a doctor. He did not understand why I wanted to marry an entertainer. Then, entertainers were not perceived as serious-minded people and they were not respected. I had to convince my father that I love this man. My father proved stubborn but I stood my ground.

Did you stop your wife from acting after you got married?

Sunday: Men who do that are not real. They do not have the interest of their wives at heart. If they do, they will even allow their children to join the industry. It is not a new thing. Some men object to it because of one or two atrocities they might have committed with women. They fear their past haunting them. In addition, if a man understands the industry, he will not even worry about men admiring his wife. If you do not want anybody to admire your wife, go and marry an ugly woman. Even ugly women have admirers. What is required is a deep sense of understanding. A woman should know that she is in the profession to make money and not to meet men.

Do you follow her to locations?

Sunday: If we are not working on the same set, then I do not think I need to be there. However, if I feel she has spent so much time on set and I am missing her, then I can visit the set to see my wife and nobody stops me from visiting her at locations. She also comes to locations to visit me when I am working.

Have you been on the same set before?

Sunday: That has happened many times and even recently, we were on the set of soap, ‘The Journey,’ together where we acted as husband and wife. It is fun working together and I do not treat her any differently from other cast. If maybe she does not get her lines right, I shout at her and we quarrel about that a lot. In fact, I am harsher on her and she will tell me later that I did not have to shout on her in the presence of everybody. I just tell her it is because I want the best out of her.

Are there any challenges in your marriage?

Sunday: For me, there are no challenges because we understand and trust each other. My wife is mine and I am her husband. I am not even intimidated by men who compliment her. It only re-affirms the fact that I have an eye for beautiful things.

How did you cope when the kids started coming?

Toyin: After I had my first child, I took a break from acting to take care of him. God has given me the grace to be a wife, mother and an actress. My first baby is almost 21, the second is 18, and my third is will be six years old. I also have strong family support and whenever I am on location; my home front is taken care of. In addition, my husband and I have an arrangement whereby whenever I am on set, he is at home and vice versa. Even if he has to go out, he returns home early.

Celebrity marriages are known to suffer hiccups, how have you stayed married for 20 years?

Toyin: I always say that the fact that I have been married for this long does not mean that I am perfect. In addition, it is not the fault of celebrities whose marriages have crashed. One thing or the other must have gone wrong. Twenty years of marriage is God’s doing and not mine.

Are there roles she plays in movies which you don’t like?

Sunday: None because she knows her boundaries. She knows what she shouldn’t do. Whatever will make people condemn her character, she will not be part of it.  She is a role model to some people and she does not need to take certain roles because she wants to prove to people that she can do it.

Do you consult your husband before you take any role?

Toyin: Yes I do. When I don’t feel too comfortable with the script, I tell him and he advises me.
Recently you renewed your marraige vows…

Toyin: It was a way of thanking God because no one believed in this industry; one could be in a marriage for this long. We had to tell our fans that actors can also keep a home even though it is not a bed of roses.  It was also our first child’s 20th birthday, my 25th year anniversary as an actor and then we have a television programme which was also rebranded.

Who is the first to apologise when there are disagreements?

Toyin: Women are stubborn, so he is quick to apologise. That was one of the things which attracted him to me because I know he has a forgiving heart and he is always ready to say sorry. He does not want our home to break up. He keeps telling me I am not going anywhere and I will remain his wife. He also buys me gifts but it does not necessarily have to be something expensive.

How do you unwind?

Toyin: Whenever we are free, we go on vacations without the kids. Sometimes, we take them along.

Is she romantic?

Sunday: I am more romantic than she is. She knows that but she won’t admit it.  Even though I am an African man, we have our way of expressing our love to our women.

Do you have pet names for each other?

Sunday: I am an African man. I can call her Iya wa (our mother) or Iya Mayowa (Mayowa’s mother) or I call her by her name but when I am angry with her, I call her by her old name, Bunmi. Once I call her that, she knows I am very angry.

What advice would you give to young couples?

Toyin: They must love each other and the wife has to be submissive because no matter what happens, the husband is the head of the home. Also, they have to be prayerful because they would face challenges from time to time.

Sunday: Pray to have money because if there is no money in that home, the challenges might become too tough to handle. There could be love at the beginning but when you can’t pay children’s fees, house rent etc that marriage would be heading for the rocks. If there is money, you will enjoy your marriage. Marriage without money will be disastrous.


Interview from Punch and Pictures from Movietainment Magazine