Wunmi Obe has used the further news that have come to light since his death by apparent suicide to pluck what she says are gaping holes in the statement released by the widow of late American comedian Robin Williams.
Susan Schneider wrote of her grief, and heartbreak at the loss of her husband and best friend, and asked for privacy. Read full statement HERE.
But Wunmi Obe, married to husband Tunde Obe for 16 years - and I'm sure she has seen her fair share of the ups and downs of marriage, including bad health, bad finances, infidelity, etc - is not granting Susan Schneider that privacy. Wunmi is not even extending a hand of sympathy or understanding as someone who has experienced celebrity death in the family.
A seemingly very pissed off Wunmi Obe took to Facebook to comment:
‘Bullocks!!! Bitch, you were last to see your depressed husband and best friend alive at 10:30pm Sunday night before you retired to a separate room to sleep. ‘In the morning, you woke up and left the house without so much as checking up on your so-called husband and best friend, even if just to say good bye before leaving home. It was his worried assistant who eventually knocked and discovered him hanging in his bedroom, body already in a state of rigor mortis. Na now you come dey form titanic love story begin write public statement. I aint buying any of it’.
She did not stop there, but also went on Twitter to vent her spleen.
I really thought Wunmi Obe was a more level-headed and charitable woman. Maybe she will come out and say her account was hacked, or those are fake accounts and not really hers.
Unless that is the case, I'm sorely disappointed at the language, the tone of delivery, and the timing and public nature of this chastisement of a woman that just lost her husband a few days ago.
Maybe this is how women do things in Nigeria? I have heard of such stories where the wife always bears the brunt when the husband dies. Yes, I also heard that Wunmi did not allow Stella Damasus to mourn in peace, after her first husband and Wunmi's younger brother died at a young age.
Like most gossip, I did not put much truth to it. But Wunmi's recent rants make me begin to think she may have been just as uncharitable to her former sister-in-law Stella.
But what shall it profit us women to attack ourselves like this, and at such a vulnerable time? Why would one scrutinize all aspects of another woman's relationship and lifestyle with her dead husband and then use to hammer her over the head. This is uncalled for and totally unnecessary.
So what if Susan Schneider and Robin Williams had separate rooms? So what if she left their house in the morning without saying good morning or goodbye? Are we suddenly privy to every other thing about them? Do we suddenly think we know why she she had to go out, and why she gave him space?
Does the fact that we share one bedroom with our husbands and are more hands on with their itinerary mean that all other couples must live the same?
Why do we think it is OK to attack widows?
Our Umuadas may do it in the village, but one would think that with education and exposure, which I'm sure Wunmi has loads of, we would begin to change and do things differently.
I am so sad writing this. Wunmi Obe, if you ever read this. You need to apologize.
She is such a crazy bitch herself. How can any sane person write such hateful things about someone who just lost her husband. They sleep in separate rooms, so? Wunmi is talking, is her own marriage perfect? Her self-righteousness is disgusting! I'm so mad!
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe she wrote this!! If she did, then I'm ry disappointed and she lost my respect as well....
ReplyDeleteWhy do some women keep doing this to a fellow woman?
It seems like she has a lot of pent-up anger and frustration.
Like you said Myne, she needs to apologise (and hopefully, her account was hacked!)
I agree with you on this one, let the widows bear their sadness in peace, if you have anything to say, email them privately, not put it for public display, better still, keep your opinions to yourself.
ReplyDeleteWunmi's response is sad. Very sad. Women should support each other at times like these not fuel maliciousness against widows.
ReplyDeletewow! so this is what stella damasus had to deal with. she better pray she dies before her husband cos e no go even easy for am.
ReplyDeleteSad that we don't even need the men to do all manner of things to us anymore, because we are busy doing it to each other
ReplyDeleteWell...even though I might be shot down with my opinion, I think she's kinda right. I mean...what wife doesn't check up on her hubby? And why aren't they sharing the same room, besides they are married. Robin Williams didn't stop at one or two but had to marry a third wife in order to maybe, 'find happiness', so as his third and last wife, she should have been more concerned. I also agree with you Myne, as regards the insultive words and bad language, she should have been more subtle even though she was just expressing herself. As for the part with Stella Damascus and the issue that rose with her husband's death, I think, we can't all dwell on 'hearsay' we should hear it first hand before making any conclusions.
ReplyDeleteAdaeze, please keep quiet. Are you married? Even if you are. How old are you in marriage? Do you know that many older couples do not share the same room? For example, my parents never shared a room, and now they live in a house with 5 rooms, why should they? Each of them have their health issues why separate bedrooms is better for them. Don't come here and spew hateful trash abeg!
ReplyDeleteHold your peace anon 10:49. If your parents slept in separate rooms, that's their business and not ours. Stop being hateful and calling out someone who has just expressed her opinion!
DeleteHaba! Nigerians and their hateful comments.
My own take is this - while we (including Wunmi) do not know what the true situation was in the marriage of the Williams and therefore should not judge Mrs Williams, this is a different thing from giving a blanket cover to the behaviour of some widows. Widowhood is not a reason to cover murder or rudeness to a family who lost a son or a brother. We usually overdo everything in Nigeria. Once we talk the rights of widows, we will justify it what obtains in the West.But the truth is that in the West, once a person that is married dies without illness, the spouse is not excluded from investigation into the cause of death. That people are married doesn't absolve them from homicide investigations. Now,one is not saying that this is the case with the Williams'. But, we need to stop treating widowhood as a cover in our culture. Families have seen their brothers or sisters killed by their spouses. This is also how we justify moving on as soon as one losses a spouse in Nigeria. We say, it is what obtains in the West. Meanwhile, it is absolute crass! No people respect the memory of their dead like the Western people. If you love people, when they die, you embrace their memory, and those you know they loved and cared for. Otherwise, it becomes selfish,a dance on the grave of the dead, and a cause for suspicion in the case of unnatural death. Loosing a loved one hurts, and sometimes the widow/er might make it worse with their attitude and behaviour. Thank you.
ReplyDelete