The Only Good Reason to Get Married - A Dad’s Letter to His Son

Dear Son,

It seems like yesterday you were blowing poop out of your diaper onto your mother’s lap. Yet here we are, on the verge of the birds-and-the-bees conversation. The poop was way easier.

Before we talk about sex, though, I want to talk about marriage. Not because I’ll shun you or shame you if you don’t put them in that order—although I hope you will—but because I believe the only good reason to get married will bring clarity to every other aspect of your life, including sex.

Buddy, you’re probably going to want to get married for all the wrong reasons. We all do. In fact, the most common reason to get married also happens to be the most dangerous: we get married because we think it will make us happy. Getting married in order to be happy is the surest way to get divorced.

Is Loneliness a Reason to Get Married?

This question came in through the search keywords and was directed to this post which listed some of the reasons men get married. However, while that post lists loneliness as one reason, it did not say how it worked out for those who married out of loneliness. Also, marrying because one is alone may work for men, but how does it work for women if it was a woman asking Google that question?

Let's be sure of what loneliness is or is not. When you're a private person, an introvert or a loner, you're not necessarily lonely. A lot of us need our me-time or alone-time once in a while, some more than others. Loneliness however, is more deep, more psychological than social.

Loneliness is a constant lack of contact with other people, even when the person wants to be. It is the feeling of isolation, when you find it hard to make a connection with a special someone for intimacy, including physical and emotional.

The Real Reasons Men Get Married

Most of us assume love to be the major and sometimes the only reason people get married, but this is not the case if some studies are to be believed. I won't say I was too surprised to see the real reasons men get married, I think when you're being very realistic, it's hard to deny that there are other reasons men could possibly get married even when they are not, or do not believe, in love. In no particular order, they are...

1. Dinner. You may think the woman making dinner for her man is something out the 1950s, but it's still very much a thing. I know way more women than men who rush home to make dinner for their sweetie every day. Men like to be fed.

2. Laundry. Some men will never learn that you can't put red socks in with white pants. If a woman does your laundry, you're spending less money on white shirts.

3. Comfort. There is something very comfortable about coming home to someone at the end of a long day.

4. Everyone else is doing it. As we mentioned, peer pressure goes a long way with men. No one wants to be the last man standing at the bar at 3 a.m. because all his buddies went home a long time ago with their wives or girlfriends.

Teju Babyface and Tobi Banjoko - Real Love Story

Teju Babyface and Tobi Banjoko

Some of us have the notion that when a man and a woman get together, it is usually the woman who may have cajoled the man into the marriage. But that is not always true, men are real people - with their own needs and emotions - and often they are the ones who seek and find the woman after their heart. However, it is not often that we get a candid insight from a man who is married or about to get married.