Most of us assume love to be the major and sometimes the only reason people get married, but this is not the case if some studies are to be believed. I won't say I was too surprised to see the real reasons men get married, I think when you're being very realistic, it's hard to deny that there are other reasons men could possibly get married even when they are not, or do not believe, in love. In no particular order, they are...
1. Dinner. You may think the woman making dinner for her man is something out the 1950s, but it's still very much a thing. I know way more women than men who rush home to make dinner for their sweetie every day. Men like to be fed.
2. Laundry. Some men will never learn that you can't put red socks in with white pants. If a woman does your laundry, you're spending less money on white shirts.
3. Comfort. There is something very comfortable about coming home to someone at the end of a long day.
4. Everyone else is doing it. As we mentioned, peer pressure goes a long way with men. No one wants to be the last man standing at the bar at 3 a.m. because all his buddies went home a long time ago with their wives or girlfriends.
5. Guilt. I once had a guy friend admit, after proposing to his girlfriend, that he wasn't in love with her anymore but she had "done her time" and stayed with him. Sounds really romantic, right?
6. Fear. Most people fear not only aging, but also dying alone. Men are no exception to this; in fact, men fear it more than women. I've learned this one from my dad.
7. The settling factor. Sometimes it's just easier to go with what you know than trying something different. This goes for both relationships and ice cream flavors.
8. Sex. Yes, even if there aren't exactly fireworks, he can probably still get it up. Sex whenever you want it? How can you go wrong?
9. Growing up. Society has taught us that the next step in a relationship is marriage, then babies. If you opt for a lifestyle that differs from this, then people start wondering what's wrong with you. Sometimes it's better to just succumb to society's standards.
10. The ultimatum. Sometimes it's easier to say "okay" than put up a fight. But ladies, please don't give him ultimatums about commitment. Ever. You're just asking for a world of hurt later. Source
Coming up, reasons women get married even when they're not, or do not believe in love. So do you agree with the reasons above about why men commit? Are the reasons totally unreasonable?
I like 5.....sounds really romantic, right? lol
ReplyDeleteMzD
Peer pressure, dinner, guilt and then the rest *in that order* i think are very true reasons!
ReplyDeleteIt's official. I'm a man.
ReplyDeleteLOL
DeleteHere's a list compiled by a woman that only knows a small group of (slow) men. #8 is what made me come to my final conclusion.
ReplyDeleteSex whenevr you want it? Really? Men that want/need a sex often, know that girlfriends are the main source. Not wives. That is one reason men do not want to get married. They hear stories from married men about how the girlfriend changes after marriage and the sex decreases.
I concur...Myne always does that...Thinks she knows the mind of a man when she has no idea....It's amazing how comments on why a man does this, how a man thinks et al comes from a woman
DeleteI agree with number 1. Overhead a married man counselling his unmarried friend, telling him to try harder and get married this year. If not for anything, at least to be sure of dinner waiting at home every day.
ReplyDeleteso on point....afterall a way to a man's heart is through the stomach..shikenah!...ahahhaa...they don't like to be alone...likes to be pampered like babies!
ReplyDeleteInteresting read Myne...waiting for the part 2 :D
Lol @ Mikey Mike
ReplyDelete"Sex whenevr you want it? Really? Men that want/need a sex often, know that girlfriends are the main source. Not wives. That is one reason men do not want to get married. They hear stories from married men about how the girlfriend changes after marriage and the sex decreases."
I kindda agree with him on that point though cos I've heard lots of guys say so
:( I really wouldn’t want anyone to marry me for any of these reasons.... whatever happened to love and romance..lol.
ReplyDeleteSo true dinner is my younger brother's sole reason for wanting to get married plus he loves to eat...i pray his future wife is a chef in the making lol
ReplyDeleteI'm with 9jafoodie on this one. I want to be married for love. Call me a romantic. Although number 3 rings a bell. There really is something comfortable about coming home to someone special everyday.
ReplyDeleteWww.secretlilies.blogspot.com
Even though I know none of these reasons is a reason why I would want to get married, I can't deny that I know some people who have most of these especially #1 and #9. #8 though.... eh! I've met more people who cite sex with the same person forever and ever as a reason NOT to get married
ReplyDeletealways nice reading your blogs Myne,
ReplyDeleteplease check out mine at
http://fallingofftherye.wordpress.com/ :)
come on, I'm female and I put red socks in with white ones .... not all socks run color jor
ReplyDelete1, 3, 4 and 5 are 100% correct
ReplyDeleteDisagree with No 8 though....wives are more likely to have 'headaches' as they are dealing with a childish man LOL
I'm dealing with Mr 4/6/7/9 right now, and this is one of the reasons I'm not interested. I think he thinks I'm a decent catch, and thats it.
ReplyDeleteSorry Sir,your heart needs to work harder.
Hmm, if those were the only reasons men got married, it would be so daunting and depressing to know that someone wants to be with you solely for those reasons. It is true that a lot of men get married for some of the reasons stated above, but there are yet many others, who marry for love, who marry because they have a vision of how their union can affect the larger society, and yes, who marry for love-I wrote that twice, heheheheheh. Some of the reasons stated above, form part and parcel of a marriage-like the fringe benefits, lol, but should not be the major reasons for deciding to enter into matrimony.
ReplyDeleteInteresting list but not surprising. One thing i'm understanding more these days is that there are many concepts of marriage and people have different ideas of what it is about. Not everybody is about the romance or starry eyed love. For some people, it is like a business deal or contract of convenience.
ReplyDeleteLooking at the list, i noticed that most of those items are addressing physical or material needs. IMO, this is how cheating starts. It seems like the guys choosing because of those factors are completely ignoring their emotional needs. Everyone has an emotional side and you can't ignore it forever no matter how hard you try. So it's not surprising that after they get married they may find that they got all the things they wanted but it still does not compensate for the emotional side that's missing. It's only a matter of time before meeting some woman they connect with emotionally and now you have trouble!
Ok...so I LOLed audibly so many times.
ReplyDeleteSo dear Myne, LOVE is not amongst the real reasons why men get married? *raised-eyebrow*
OMG number 5, I bind and cast that. But people that date for 5yrs, 6yrs, 7yrs, try oh. I don't think I can do it. What am I saying sef. I can't do it.
ReplyDeleteYeah I know some guys get married because they are the only single ones amongst their friends. Their friends go home to their wives/partners. They feel lonely so they decide it's time to "Settle down".
LOL! the reason why women get married would be long oh! or that's what I think.
But I hope no man marries me for any reason on this list oh. Instead he should tell me so I'd pack my bag and go. I no go vex at all.
That food matter lol. I've noticed how some guys are always about 'can you cook'. trust me to return the question especially if i'm not interested in you.
ReplyDeleteI can imagine no 5 happening. but that's a recipe for disaster :(
Lol,it feels not so gud to know u r married cos of dos reason.
ReplyDeleteI agree with some not all of the points.
ReplyDeleteRecently had to make a choice between a guy who loves me and a guy who wanted me cause I fit his specs of a woman who cooks and does laundry.
He calls it being old school but I knew he just wanted to settle cause age isn't on his side anymore.
He told me that he felt insulted that I chose someone less financially buoyant as him.
I'd marry for love over and over again.
Interesting article. Comments are VERY telling. I wonder if the next piece dealing with why women get married will have as many responses...
ReplyDelete