When Gladys stepped out of the gate, she looked up and down the quiet street. A limousine was standing a few yards away from her. Her eyes alighted on it in admiration as it drove slowly to a stop before her. The window directly before her wound down automatically in a replay of their first meeting.
“May I help you?” Edward’s smile was like the cat that got some cream.
“Edward! What is this?” She couldn’t help the exclamation.
Stepping out of the car, he put an arm around her waist and held the door open.
“Tonight is going to be one of the best memories we share. We own the night milady, and the limo is here for our exclusive delight.”
Edward bowed and gestured her to enter the luxury car. She did and he followed her in and closed the door, enfolding them in the cool leather interior. The driver carefully maneuvered away from the curb and into the street. When they arrived at their table in the restaurant at Sheraton Hotel and Towers, Gladys told herself this was definitely going to be a night to remember. The dinner passed in a blur of slow conversation and tender looks but nothing more.
They soon finished their dinner and moved to a secluded alcove in the bar. Edward swirled the Bailey’s Irish Cream in his cut glass tumbler while she sipped on a Chapman on the Rocks.
Gladys had guessed he was going to ask her to marry him or he wouldn’t have gone to so much trouble. She knew what her answer would be this time but now wondered if she’d got it mixed up. Edward put back his drink down and took hers to deposit beside it. Her heart raced faster than usual and she found it difficult looking him full in the face. He spread both palms and she placed her hands in them. Their fingers linked as he started to speak in a solemn tone.
“Gladys, I’ve had mixed life experiences, more bad than good but I don’t want the bad to influence my life going forward. I’ve become more willing to give people the benefit of the doubt since I met you. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I want to be with you, I don’t want to run or hide anymore. Especially not from you Gladys, I love you.”
She felt the tears come to her eyes. This was the best thing he’d ever said to her. “I love you too Edward.” After what they’d been through, she cared about him so much more. She also loved how he got on with her family. All her brothers were his fans now.
Edward smiled at her, “I can’t believe that I have you, baby. I didn’t know it but I never had a full life before I met you.”
He’d simply gone through the motions but was too wounded to make the most of all that came his way. She’d healed his heart and made him whole again. Meeting her mother and brothers were just the cherry on top. He’d told her family last Christmas that he wanted to marry her. He’d almost let her go but the more he thought of it, the more he recognized the beginning of another phase of his life. He only had to accept it and he had.
“I am not perfect Gladys,” he continued. “I’ve had some experiences in this life that have shaped me differently from your usual man. I smoked, drank, did drugs and women. I have forgiven myself of these things and asked God’s forgiveness too but I still bear some scars.”
He brought up her left hand and kissed the back of it and then each finger in turn. Gladys heart began to beat faster in her chest. It was as if everything was moving in slow motion.
He dropped her hands and dipped two fingers in his pocket. “I don’t know if I am worthy to ask you this but I have been blessed in meeting you. You shone light in my life and reminded me that it’s not all about work and money. You are a beautiful soul and I love you. I am willing to share my life with you if you’ll have me.”
Gladys closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She opened them when she felt Edward release her hand and move off the banquette. He was kneeling at the edge with an open jewelry box clasped in both hands. The small diamond solitaire winked at her in the dim light of the bar. People were laughing and clapping but she felt the tears return. During dinner she’d imagined the proposal with him down on his knees. She felt her heart melting inside her and she wished she could hug him forever.
“Give me your hand Gladys.” Edward said.
She stretched her left hand. “Edward, I love you so much. This is very beautiful.”
“Just like you’re beautiful inside and out. He raised her fingers with one hand. “I promise never to hurt you. I’ve asked you this in my mind several times before but now it’s for real. I love you Gladys. Will you marry me please?”
“Yes I will. I love you so much Edward.” Their gaze caught and held. His heart shone from his eyes.
“I promise to love you till I die.” He slipped the ring onto her third finger and kissed it.
“I’ll be good to you too. You’ll never regret loving me or placing your trust on me.” Gladys raised him up and stepped into his arms with a long kiss. Some people in the bar stood up too and clapped enthusiastically. Afterwards they both turned with a smile for everyone and then Edward led her to the dancing floor.
**********************************
To read the whole novel, A Heart to Mend, order your copy from the following sites. The book is also available on Borders, Target, Booksamillion, and BooksonBoard; online or in stores. Happy Valentine...
My website $16.99 (Autographed Copy)
Publishers: Authorhouse $13.50
Amazon.com $18.50
Amazon.CO.UK GBP14.49
Amazon Canada CDN$19.08
Barnes & Noble $16.65
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Picture Saturday - Valentine 2010
It started on this day, one year ago.
And it continues
The personal pics have self destructed. Enjoy these ones and have a lovely valentine weekend.
And it continues
The personal pics have self destructed. Enjoy these ones and have a lovely valentine weekend.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Thinking of you. (Poem)
Posted in:
Romantic Poems
What its it about you
That keeps me thinking about you
Whether I like it or not
You are always in my thoughts
Why do I stick around
When I should stay away
Why do I always come to you
When I could be some place else
Why can’t I just forget you
Even when I really want to
What is it about you
That makes me wonder
What you look like
First thing in the morning
And what you will look like
Last thing before you sleep
Why do I think of you
The very instant I wake up
And on you I also ponder
When I can’t sleep at night.
I close my eyes
Your face is what I see
In the quiet of solitude
I hear your voice
And when I try to sleep
I only dream of you
In the multitude of friends
I am lost in thoughts of you
Will it ever cease?
This thinking of you
But I hope it never does
Cos when I think of you
A dull day becomes bright
And the fears of the night
Are immediately forgotten
I become a beautiful bird
Blessed with strong wings
I can fly any distance
Even to the ends of the world
Just thinking of you
That keeps me thinking about you
Whether I like it or not
You are always in my thoughts
Why do I stick around
When I should stay away
Why do I always come to you
When I could be some place else
Why can’t I just forget you
Even when I really want to
What is it about you
That makes me wonder
What you look like
First thing in the morning
And what you will look like
Last thing before you sleep
Why do I think of you
The very instant I wake up
And on you I also ponder
When I can’t sleep at night.
I close my eyes
Your face is what I see
In the quiet of solitude
I hear your voice
And when I try to sleep
I only dream of you
In the multitude of friends
I am lost in thoughts of you
Will it ever cease?
This thinking of you
But I hope it never does
Cos when I think of you
A dull day becomes bright
And the fears of the night
Are immediately forgotten
I become a beautiful bird
Blessed with strong wings
I can fly any distance
Even to the ends of the world
Just thinking of you
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Vision of Love (Poem)
Posted in:
Romantic Poems
It seems like a dream
But I remain awake and sane
I tremble at the sight before me
What could this possibly be?
I am as a parched land
Soaking up the drenching rain
I am like a dew-fresh flower
Smiling at the rising sun
It is your wonderful face
So far and yet also near
I stand joyfully before you
My vision of true love
Love so completely amazing
It defies verbal description
Love so all-embracing
It is totally beyond mention
But I remain awake and sane
I tremble at the sight before me
What could this possibly be?
I am as a parched land
Soaking up the drenching rain
I am like a dew-fresh flower
Smiling at the rising sun
It is your wonderful face
So far and yet also near
I stand joyfully before you
My vision of true love
Love so completely amazing
It defies verbal description
Love so all-embracing
It is totally beyond mention
Monday, February 8, 2010
The bond of twins and brothers
Posted in:
At the first mention of Efe's name, the next sentences his mother addressed to him hardly entered Ofure's brain as a sudden pain intensified in his skull. He moaned softly. Upstairs Kevwe screamed sharply, "No... No..."
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine mom but I have to go see Kevwe."
Ofure rushed up, taking the steps two at the same time and holding his head in pain. The nurse hurried down going in the opposite direction.
"What is it?" He heard their mother ask anxiously.
"I can't tell, just a few minutes ago, his temperature and blood pressure shut up and he woke up screaming," the nurse explained hastily, "I want to call the doctor. He said to call him once the patient regains consciousness."
Once upstairs, Ofure tried to calm Kevwe down. First, he controlled himself by taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly. Soon Kevwe stopped screaming. He opened tearful eyes and looked soulfully at his twin.
"It's not true, Efe cannot leave me. I won't believe it. No ... No ... No ... It's too painful. I can't bear it. Please make the pain go away, Ofure tell me it's not true. Say it's not true, say it..." he tried to seat up but the bandages and POP on various parts of his body wouldn't permit it so he demanded instead, "Where is Efe, where is she? I want to hear it from her,"
The tears overflowed his eyes as he looked around blearily. Sighting their mother at the door, he suddenly cried, "But why? Why would Efe leave me, why? No ... it's not true," he muttered shaking his head from side to side.
Ofure led their mum out of the room and closed the door gently after her. Tears clouding his own eyes, he went back to the bed, placed his palms on his twin's forehead and closed his eyes. Before long, Kevwe fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. By the time the doctor came, his blood pressure and temperature were almost back to normal and he was sleeping peacefully instead of being unconscious.
Ofure took some painkillers and went into his own room to rest. He knew it was only because Kevwe was his twin that he had been able to do what he'd just done. He was good with his sick patients in the hospital but on his twin, his hands made wounds heal faster and calmed him down. There was no medical explanation for the phenomena, he had come in contact with other people who had the same gift. Some of them had been doctors and others were not. His own twin brother did not possess the gift even though they shared the bond of telepathy; he knew some other twins had the same gift.
When he had felt as if a brick wall had fallen on him a week ago, he knew instantly what had happened. He was on his rounds in the hospital where he'd just started his five-year internship but had boarded the next available flight to Nigeria. He had gotten their phone call in the Paris layover and reached the hospital even before his parents who had arrived a day later. The accident had occurred just outside Lagos and the Road Safety officials' had taken Kevwe to LUTH. The same officials had also later sent a message to their parents.
After more than a week at the hospital, both parents had traveled while he'd remained at his brother's bedside. Though he'd told no one, Kevwe's injuries seemed to have counterpoints in his body and this inflicted him with a serious headache. Ofure sighed painfully as thoughts of Efe came into his mind but he deliberately wiped them out so as not to disturb Kevwe. Soon, he too dozed off.
***********************
BTW, What is the mystery of the bond between twins? Is it stronger than ordinary familial love? Do you have any special closeness with any of your siblings? What will you do or have you done for the love of a brother/sister? This Valentine, don't forget to tell your family you love them and also show it. Don't wait till they're lying on sick beds or even worse, when it is too late.
ps, So this is a very rough first draft from my upcoming novel, I'm still working on the manuscript. Please give me feedback on the writing too, thanks...
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine mom but I have to go see Kevwe."
Ofure rushed up, taking the steps two at the same time and holding his head in pain. The nurse hurried down going in the opposite direction.
"What is it?" He heard their mother ask anxiously.
"I can't tell, just a few minutes ago, his temperature and blood pressure shut up and he woke up screaming," the nurse explained hastily, "I want to call the doctor. He said to call him once the patient regains consciousness."
Once upstairs, Ofure tried to calm Kevwe down. First, he controlled himself by taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly. Soon Kevwe stopped screaming. He opened tearful eyes and looked soulfully at his twin.
"It's not true, Efe cannot leave me. I won't believe it. No ... No ... No ... It's too painful. I can't bear it. Please make the pain go away, Ofure tell me it's not true. Say it's not true, say it..." he tried to seat up but the bandages and POP on various parts of his body wouldn't permit it so he demanded instead, "Where is Efe, where is she? I want to hear it from her,"
The tears overflowed his eyes as he looked around blearily. Sighting their mother at the door, he suddenly cried, "But why? Why would Efe leave me, why? No ... it's not true," he muttered shaking his head from side to side.
Ofure led their mum out of the room and closed the door gently after her. Tears clouding his own eyes, he went back to the bed, placed his palms on his twin's forehead and closed his eyes. Before long, Kevwe fell into a deep and dreamless sleep. By the time the doctor came, his blood pressure and temperature were almost back to normal and he was sleeping peacefully instead of being unconscious.
Ofure took some painkillers and went into his own room to rest. He knew it was only because Kevwe was his twin that he had been able to do what he'd just done. He was good with his sick patients in the hospital but on his twin, his hands made wounds heal faster and calmed him down. There was no medical explanation for the phenomena, he had come in contact with other people who had the same gift. Some of them had been doctors and others were not. His own twin brother did not possess the gift even though they shared the bond of telepathy; he knew some other twins had the same gift.
When he had felt as if a brick wall had fallen on him a week ago, he knew instantly what had happened. He was on his rounds in the hospital where he'd just started his five-year internship but had boarded the next available flight to Nigeria. He had gotten their phone call in the Paris layover and reached the hospital even before his parents who had arrived a day later. The accident had occurred just outside Lagos and the Road Safety officials' had taken Kevwe to LUTH. The same officials had also later sent a message to their parents.
After more than a week at the hospital, both parents had traveled while he'd remained at his brother's bedside. Though he'd told no one, Kevwe's injuries seemed to have counterpoints in his body and this inflicted him with a serious headache. Ofure sighed painfully as thoughts of Efe came into his mind but he deliberately wiped them out so as not to disturb Kevwe. Soon, he too dozed off.
***********************
BTW, What is the mystery of the bond between twins? Is it stronger than ordinary familial love? Do you have any special closeness with any of your siblings? What will you do or have you done for the love of a brother/sister? This Valentine, don't forget to tell your family you love them and also show it. Don't wait till they're lying on sick beds or even worse, when it is too late.
ps, So this is a very rough first draft from my upcoming novel, I'm still working on the manuscript. Please give me feedback on the writing too, thanks...
Sunday, February 7, 2010
When will another come?
Posted in:
Romantic Poems
WHEN WILL ANOTHER COME?
She lies atop her downy pillows
Her eyes upon the high ceiling
But she does not see the cracks
Crossing the face of the plaster
Like those on the tortoiseshell
For her gaze is upon the unseen
And her thoughts lost in the mists
As she tries to bring up another
She fixes in chiseled features
In the bold outline of a face
Her creation then takes on the form
Of one of the legends of old
Amadioha, Apollo, Arthur… or is it Sango?
This evokes the sound of thunder
That bestirs her from her daze
She glances around the empty room
But her dreams are not for real
And so she starts to weep
Like the first drops of rain
Tears fall and blur her vision
When will another come?
*****************
Like I mentioned on Vera's radio on Saturday, (You can listen to it right here on the side bar) loneliness can come in different forms and from various memories. People may have just lost friends, children may have lost their parents or parents may have lost children. This may either be to death or to distance - physical and emotional. Valentine can therefore be a month of loneliness for a lot of people but most especially for reasons of romance.
So right up there during this season of love is hurt from a lonely heart. Broken relationships, broken promises, no new partner in sight, no partner - ever. All these are the reasons I believe Valentine should not be all about couples. Take time this week, this weekend and on valentine day to do stuff with friends, family and the less privileged in life. Call parents, send notes to friends, spend time with other people and finally show yourself some self-love. For those waiting for another, ask Vera. They may just be on the way and arrive on val's day.
Read more from this online magazine HERE
She lies atop her downy pillows
Her eyes upon the high ceiling
But she does not see the cracks
Crossing the face of the plaster
Like those on the tortoiseshell
For her gaze is upon the unseen
And her thoughts lost in the mists
As she tries to bring up another
She fixes in chiseled features
In the bold outline of a face
Her creation then takes on the form
Of one of the legends of old
Amadioha, Apollo, Arthur… or is it Sango?
This evokes the sound of thunder
That bestirs her from her daze
She glances around the empty room
But her dreams are not for real
And so she starts to weep
Like the first drops of rain
Tears fall and blur her vision
When will another come?
*****************
Like I mentioned on Vera's radio on Saturday, (You can listen to it right here on the side bar) loneliness can come in different forms and from various memories. People may have just lost friends, children may have lost their parents or parents may have lost children. This may either be to death or to distance - physical and emotional. Valentine can therefore be a month of loneliness for a lot of people but most especially for reasons of romance.
So right up there during this season of love is hurt from a lonely heart. Broken relationships, broken promises, no new partner in sight, no partner - ever. All these are the reasons I believe Valentine should not be all about couples. Take time this week, this weekend and on valentine day to do stuff with friends, family and the less privileged in life. Call parents, send notes to friends, spend time with other people and finally show yourself some self-love. For those waiting for another, ask Vera. They may just be on the way and arrive on val's day.
Read more from this online magazine HERE
Friday, February 5, 2010
Want to hear my voice? Verastic + Unity1960
Posted in:
Book Hype
Listen to internet radio with Vera Ezimora on Blog Talk Radio
Happy Valentine's Day!! (In advance sha. But truly) Love is in the air. Can you smell it? Okay, maybe it'll be more potent next week --- during the actual Valentine's Day (weekend). But what are your plans? What's your favorite and/or worst Valentine memory? * E-mail your questions/comments/stories to radio@verastic.com or text 1.443.934.9039 * Call 1.646.929.1905 during the LIVE show to join the conversation.
So I will be chatting with Vera about love, valentine and what people think it means and involves. Tune in 7amPST, 10amEST, 3pmGMT and 4pm Nigerian time to listen to us talk it out. The show is going to be Live on BlogTalk Radio. Here's the link:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/verastic/2010/02/06/the-i-love-you-show
Please feel free to enter the chatroom, ask questions and join the fun. You can also just listen to the show at the same call-in Number: (646) 929.1905.
****
The main purpose of Unity1960.com is to present a balanced coverage of events, promote the best interests of Nigeria and defend her UNITY. It does not owe allegiance to any political party, ethnic community, religious or other interest group. Its primary commitment is to the integrity and sovereignty of the Federal Republic of Nigeria and beyond that to the unity and sovereignty of Africa.
Unity1960.com has a web radio show called Naija4life on which our own Azazel the controversial blogger sits with a discussion panel. They have invited me for a guest interview. The show starts at noon pacific (PST), 3pm EST, 8pm GMT and 9pm Nigerian time. My part of the show will start around 12:30-1:30 p.m.
To listen to the interview, please log on to the internet at this link http://unity1960.com/. Once there, double click on “listen here” button at the top of the page and you'll be retroactively connected to the live stream. I'll look forward to hearing you guys too, so do call in.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Sweet things you do to me
Posted in:
Romantic Poems
A reminder about the I-LOVE-YOU Valentine show on Feb 6 which I'm co hosting with Vera in preparation for V-day. Remember to tune in by 10am EST and 4pm Nigerian time on Saturday morning. Meanwhile, enjoy the poem...
Sweet things you do to me
You make me feel so fine
In the press of a mobbing crowd
The way you look into my face
And hold on to my hand
Sweet things you do to me
You treat me like I’m a queen
The most important thing to you
You do all in your power
To see that I’m always happy
Sweet things you do to me
You point out those things
That you know I love to see
You cause me to smile at you
And make me laugh out loud
Sweet things you do to me
You show a real sense of depth
In times of pain and sorrow
Which I cherish as much as
Your arms of comfort around me
Sweet things you do to me
You can spin the silliest jokes
Just to tease and thrill me
Your warm and tender smile
Is a lighthouse in the storm
Oh! Sweet things you do to me
For in this ever–changing world
Long as you're always near
Most sweet is your love for me
It always sees me through
*********************
This old poem is dedicated to Andrea. She really loved this when I posted it the first time and remembered it. Congrats dear on your marriage and the little blessing on the way. May you and your hubby enjoy this valentine to the fullest. And I mean to the fullest, you get my meaning :):).
Sweet things you do to me
You make me feel so fine
In the press of a mobbing crowd
The way you look into my face
And hold on to my hand
Sweet things you do to me
You treat me like I’m a queen
The most important thing to you
You do all in your power
To see that I’m always happy
Sweet things you do to me
You point out those things
That you know I love to see
You cause me to smile at you
And make me laugh out loud
Sweet things you do to me
You show a real sense of depth
In times of pain and sorrow
Which I cherish as much as
Your arms of comfort around me
Sweet things you do to me
You can spin the silliest jokes
Just to tease and thrill me
Your warm and tender smile
Is a lighthouse in the storm
Oh! Sweet things you do to me
For in this ever–changing world
Long as you're always near
Most sweet is your love for me
It always sees me through
*********************
This old poem is dedicated to Andrea. She really loved this when I posted it the first time and remembered it. Congrats dear on your marriage and the little blessing on the way. May you and your hubby enjoy this valentine to the fullest. And I mean to the fullest, you get my meaning :):).
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The love of a friend.
Posted in:
Romantic Poems
You were there in my time of need
Not knowing the meaning of greed
If I need it, you’ll give your last dime
Rich or poor, you gave me a good time
You did everything a friend should
And treated me the best you could
You comforted me when I was sad
And laughed with me when I was glad
I recall the times we used to share
And I want you to know I still care
I will always try to be there
Whenever, wherever you need my cheer
When you need me, I’ll be there in a hurry
When you are down, you don’t have to worry
Though some things you do may be wrong
Our friendship will ever remain strong
******************
Please feel free to share your stories of friendship. What was the best thing you did for a friend or a friend did for you? Who is your best friend? It's that time of the year. So send them a note, leave it here to show they're appreciated.
To my SO whose birthday it was today, happy birthday honey. You're my best friend.
Not knowing the meaning of greed
If I need it, you’ll give your last dime
Rich or poor, you gave me a good time
You did everything a friend should
And treated me the best you could
You comforted me when I was sad
And laughed with me when I was glad
I recall the times we used to share
And I want you to know I still care
I will always try to be there
Whenever, wherever you need my cheer
When you need me, I’ll be there in a hurry
When you are down, you don’t have to worry
Though some things you do may be wrong
Our friendship will ever remain strong
******************
Please feel free to share your stories of friendship. What was the best thing you did for a friend or a friend did for you? Who is your best friend? It's that time of the year. So send them a note, leave it here to show they're appreciated.
To my SO whose birthday it was today, happy birthday honey. You're my best friend.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
To do or not to do (Love and Sex)
So the last poem was about the sexual side of love. Can there be love without sex? You read and be the judge...
****************************
It is not easy I tell you. What is not easy you ask? Abstaining from sex is not easy my friend. When you have no one you love or care for, you convince yourself sex doesn't really matter. It's no big deal, you tell yourself and anyone who raises an eyebrow and goes on to ask. I am strong you persuade yourself on those nights you go out with friends to catch that romantic comedy with those beautiful love scenes.
Hmmmmm. I tell you it is not easy. Abstinence is not what nature planned for a healthy human body. You hit puberty and the hormones start raging in your system. You read mills and boon and thrills and boon and sex is this earth shattering experience. You read Joan Collins and Harold Robbins and the raunchy aspects are described in titillating detail. The blood pools in certain parts of your body and you can't wait to meet your own love and share sex with him.
Why abstinence then? You are a teenager and your body is so ready, more than ready. But you are filled with romantic fantasies of there being just one person with whom it would be special. You also remember all the sunday school lessons you attended and if you're like me, what the catechist made you vow before your confirmation. The years creep by and you become mature enough to realise that you are not emotionally ready no matter how much your body screams for it. You go back to your bible roots and tap some strength from being born again.
Abstinence. Sometimes you ask yourself, what does it really mean? If you make out with your transient boyfriends, does that count? Afterall you did get some pleasure and maybe an orgasm or two from them. You recreate these episodes in your mind those days during your cycle when you are so easily aroused. And if you're like me you put yourself in the dock those nights you wake up horny from the erotic dreams stalking your subconscious. There is afterall that guy that wanted to be your **** buddy.
The years continue to pass and you still abstain. Some of your secondary school friends get married, get pregnant and you wonder at their new found confidence. Your university mates are sexually active and talk about all manner of stuff in your presence. Sometimes you own up to your inexperience and if the company is hostile, you brazen it out with knowledge gleaned from books. You cringe when they mention their numerous abortions, are disgusted when they crawl back to abusive BFs just for the sex and your decision is strengthened.
But does that strengthen your body? Not for me. A case of the spirit being willing and the flesh weak. You help yourself out sometimes and other times you go out with that guy that has been hanging around and allow him cop a feel. Most of the time though you stiffen your upper lip and go to sleep. Your guilty conscience makes you backslide. Furthermore, trying to get busy with church shows up the corrupt underbelly and you lose faith. The choirmaster and the solo singer are having sex so why do you bother? The pastor and his wife wear only Armani and Prada while Brother Puis and his family starve so why do you bother?
You are almost an atheist but you know that's not possible. You hold on to your decision but it's no more for God. Some of your friends you shared the pact with had either fallen by the wayside or gotten married. You're approaching your big 3-0 and your closest friend tells you it's only fear holding her back. It is no more strength of will. It is no more saving it for that one special guy. The other says its just that after rejecting all the previous eligible suitors, why give it up to some of the yeye people coming around now. What to do? Your crown has become a millstone around your neck.
Then that friend gives in to one of those not so eligible guys, and he marries her after a bit. She's lucky isn't she? He's a bachelor anyways unlike the majority married men that trail after you like flies to raw meat. There is one left and so you console yourself. Then out of the blues, she calls you. I have done it. Done what you ask? Had sex and girl it is so overrated, she blurts. You have heard that before but hearing it from her makes your heart plummet. Is that it? All that you've been looking forward to?
But that's not the end. Did I say it was not easy? If anyone tells you abstinence is easy, they're fibbing big time. You are now dating a guy you love more than all the others. He loves you so much and also understands your stance, he is ready to wait. But your friend is on your neck. Ahhh it gets better. The more you have sex, the better it becomes. She is having the time of her life and she wants you to join the league. Bobo is making subtle moves and your body is feeling him. A lot. What to do?
It is not easy I tell you.
Or is it?
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It is not easy I tell you. What is not easy you ask? Abstaining from sex is not easy my friend. When you have no one you love or care for, you convince yourself sex doesn't really matter. It's no big deal, you tell yourself and anyone who raises an eyebrow and goes on to ask. I am strong you persuade yourself on those nights you go out with friends to catch that romantic comedy with those beautiful love scenes.
Hmmmmm. I tell you it is not easy. Abstinence is not what nature planned for a healthy human body. You hit puberty and the hormones start raging in your system. You read mills and boon and thrills and boon and sex is this earth shattering experience. You read Joan Collins and Harold Robbins and the raunchy aspects are described in titillating detail. The blood pools in certain parts of your body and you can't wait to meet your own love and share sex with him.
Why abstinence then? You are a teenager and your body is so ready, more than ready. But you are filled with romantic fantasies of there being just one person with whom it would be special. You also remember all the sunday school lessons you attended and if you're like me, what the catechist made you vow before your confirmation. The years creep by and you become mature enough to realise that you are not emotionally ready no matter how much your body screams for it. You go back to your bible roots and tap some strength from being born again.
Abstinence. Sometimes you ask yourself, what does it really mean? If you make out with your transient boyfriends, does that count? Afterall you did get some pleasure and maybe an orgasm or two from them. You recreate these episodes in your mind those days during your cycle when you are so easily aroused. And if you're like me you put yourself in the dock those nights you wake up horny from the erotic dreams stalking your subconscious. There is afterall that guy that wanted to be your **** buddy.
The years continue to pass and you still abstain. Some of your secondary school friends get married, get pregnant and you wonder at their new found confidence. Your university mates are sexually active and talk about all manner of stuff in your presence. Sometimes you own up to your inexperience and if the company is hostile, you brazen it out with knowledge gleaned from books. You cringe when they mention their numerous abortions, are disgusted when they crawl back to abusive BFs just for the sex and your decision is strengthened.
But does that strengthen your body? Not for me. A case of the spirit being willing and the flesh weak. You help yourself out sometimes and other times you go out with that guy that has been hanging around and allow him cop a feel. Most of the time though you stiffen your upper lip and go to sleep. Your guilty conscience makes you backslide. Furthermore, trying to get busy with church shows up the corrupt underbelly and you lose faith. The choirmaster and the solo singer are having sex so why do you bother? The pastor and his wife wear only Armani and Prada while Brother Puis and his family starve so why do you bother?
You are almost an atheist but you know that's not possible. You hold on to your decision but it's no more for God. Some of your friends you shared the pact with had either fallen by the wayside or gotten married. You're approaching your big 3-0 and your closest friend tells you it's only fear holding her back. It is no more strength of will. It is no more saving it for that one special guy. The other says its just that after rejecting all the previous eligible suitors, why give it up to some of the yeye people coming around now. What to do? Your crown has become a millstone around your neck.
Then that friend gives in to one of those not so eligible guys, and he marries her after a bit. She's lucky isn't she? He's a bachelor anyways unlike the majority married men that trail after you like flies to raw meat. There is one left and so you console yourself. Then out of the blues, she calls you. I have done it. Done what you ask? Had sex and girl it is so overrated, she blurts. You have heard that before but hearing it from her makes your heart plummet. Is that it? All that you've been looking forward to?
But that's not the end. Did I say it was not easy? If anyone tells you abstinence is easy, they're fibbing big time. You are now dating a guy you love more than all the others. He loves you so much and also understands your stance, he is ready to wait. But your friend is on your neck. Ahhh it gets better. The more you have sex, the better it becomes. She is having the time of her life and she wants you to join the league. Bobo is making subtle moves and your body is feeling him. A lot. What to do?
It is not easy I tell you.
Or is it?
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