Rebuttal - When Someone steals your ideas.

This is a response to the post by Sugabelly alleging plagiarism or something similar. It might be a long one but I'll try not to rant and keep it short and to the point.


I'll say it upfront, I'm a doer not a talker. I like to walk the talk and I will not apologise for it.

I started this blog and titled it Myne Whitman Writes. The primary aim was to share MY writing and get feedback on my journey to print. I have said in several interviews that I was motivated by FFF and Favored Girl. Before August 2009, they were the only steady fiction bloggers I knew except for the 14th and serenity effort. (Yes I have been reading blogs that long). Once I started blogging, the response was awesome, followers, feedbacks, and most of all community. I got to know more writers and I began to get ideas.

After discussing my ideas with SO, my partner, I launched the blogville interactive story on November 11, 2009. That collaborative is now known as Cupid's Risk Series. Again the response was amazing and even more of an inspiration to me. In the first series, there were more than 15 contributors and sometimes over 50 comments on each post. It was a revelation to me that there were so many Nigerians online who liked to write and even more important read naija stories. I saw so much talent and I knew there was a market for it. While this gave me hope for the Nigerian Launch of my book A Heart to Mend, it also gave me ideas for something even bigger.

I will like to bring this clip from my interview with Spesh's World last year. It appeared on Spesh's Blog on Saturday December 12, 2009. Please pay attention to the bold and highlighted words.

Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?

I hope to have published more books by then and still remain in the midst of my readers and fans. Co-ordinating the Blogsville Interactive Story has shown me so much talent and given me some ideas for a writing/publishing collective. I'm still playing with those thoughts for now and will broach them to the necessary people in due time.

My goals when we entered the new year were several. The major ones of course were to release A Heart to Mend in Nigeria, and then complete and publish my next novel. With regards my blogging, first was to move the Cupid's Risk series to another blog. I wasn't the only writer and I did not want it to appear under Myne Whitman Writes. Another goal was to set a website where Nigerians but especially bloggers could come to share their writings without the constraint of a fixed story someone had already chosen.

So through out January and February, I discussed this idea with my main cheerleader and a couple of other bloggers, authors and publishers. The consensus was that seeing was believing. Stakeholders would be more impressed by a thriving community than an idea on paper or discussion. So while Cupid's Risk was on break in Feb, I had more time to brainstorm and I decided to roll out a pilot for my idea. This pilot would be on the blogger platform and if it works, we can move to a domain. So that led me to Feb 27, 2010 when I made the first post on the Naija Stories Blog.

Imagine my surprise and even joy when I came across a post by Sugabelly, a blogger I admire, sometime in March. I am a follower of her blog and I usually enjoy her posts, her writing and her drawing. One day I saw a picture of her laptop opened to a Nigerian Fiction Website. I wanted to visit the website immediately to see what they were about, offer my ideas to work with them or simply to read any writings on the site. The following are the comments I exchanged with Sugabelly.

 Myne Whitman said...

...What is that Nigerian Fiction website? I already googled and couldn't find it. What's the URL?
March 6, 2010 12:56 AM

 Sugabelly said...

@Myne Whitman: It's a website I'm building so people all over the world (mostly Nigerians though) can read and write Nigerian Fiction. Basically you sign up and you start writing a story, uploading it chapter by chapter and other members comment on each chapter of your story and cheer you on and fave their favourite stories, and we have Awards every quarter.


I did a post about it a while back. The url is www.nigerianfiction.com but I haven't put it up yet so you'll just get a Parked by GoDaddy page or something. Don't worry, I'm working on it and by God's grace it will be up by summer.
March 6, 2010 10:59 AM

 Myne Whitman said...

That's a great idea. I'm also working on a similar thing. But mine needs to involve the editors, publishers and agents. I like your domain name though and hopefully people buy in and it pulls together all we fiction bloggers. Well done, will definitely join once it's up.
March 6, 2010 1:25 PM

 Myne Whitman said...
... BTW, was wanting to talk to you about the fiction site. Maybe we could work together? Send me an email at myne@ mynewhitman.com
March 10, 2010 1:07 PM

 Sugabelly said...

@Myne Whitman: Sure we can talk. sugabelly@gmail.com. I'll shoot you an email later today.
March 10, 2010 1:07 PM



 Myne Whitman said...


I'm glad you feel better. I left you a comment sometime ago on how we can work together on the Nigerian Fiction idea but it seems you prefer going it alone. My site will be launching soon, hope you'll be a part of it. Have a nice weekend.
March 19, 2010 10:10 PM

Sugabelly  to myne

Mar 19

Hi Myne Whitman!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry I didn't email you sooner. It's not easy being a junior. There's so much work and so many exams plus I just finished midterms. Either way, I apologize. So............... you said you were launching a website. What is your site about? How is it similar to mine? And what do you have in mind in terms of working together?

Myne Whitman  to Sugabelly

Mar 22

Hi Sugabelly,


The website is now up on www.naijastories.com and hosted by blogger. All your questions will be answered there. I don't know your full vision yet but I think it's about the same, giving Nigerian stories of all genres a platform to be showcased on.


I wanted to see if you could join our team as an editor for the pilot project and since you already have a domain, I can invest in your work and when we're ready to move to a domain, it will be to yours. That way we'll be pulling resources together. I am still interested and if you are, please let me know. Even if not, I do not see a problem as there can never be too many opportunities.


Naijastories is being launched through a contest with cash prizes, I hope you'll get involved.

So fast forward to taday April 12, 2010. Cupid's Risk is in Season Two, Naija Stories is up an running and the Nigerian Edition of A heart to Mend is almost ready. My schedule when I sit to work is usually, check and reply my mails, do some work on the WIP manuscript, check FB and Twitter, do some book promo/publicity, back to the WIP, blog rounds, WIP, you get the idea. So I went on twitter earlier today and saw a DM from a follower asking if I owned Naija Stories (www.naijastories.com). I replied that I managed the website and had secured a domain name for it. I also wrote that I prefer to see it as a collective since there are almost 70 contributors to the site including published authors and aspiring writers. I sent the DM and later went back to writing my next book.

About an hour ago, I decided to do some blog rounds and came across the post referenced in the title and linked above. In the post, Sugabelly alleged that her idea of site was stolen by a blogger and asked if she should go ahead. There have been several replies denouncing the idea thief and the resulting website. No names were mentioned but I did not need names to know what and who she was referring to. These are her exact words;

However, one particular blogger continued to ask me about this project and in my naivety and stupidity I practically revealed almost everything about it to this person in detail thinking that they were just interested and enthusiastic about it. One week later this person went and set up a website that was the exact duplicate of my idea and project that I had just blogged about in excruciating detail.

The fact as I have shown above is that I had discussed her Nigerian Fiction Website with Sugabelly. I do not know where she has blogged about it in detail, all I know are in the exchanges with her. Yes I purchased my domain name in March 2010, however, NaijaStories has been in the pipeline since November 2009 and the first post was made in February even before my exchange with her. There is no law that says  two people cannot have the same ideas at the same time. I wanted to work together with Sugabelly when I found out that we shared a similar passion but she declined. She says in her post she is hurt, disgusted an so on. I wonder why she could not send me an email since March 22 to tell me her feelings.

As regards the allegation of plagiarism, I should ask Sugabelly whether she did not steal her idea from somewhere. The fact is that a website for collecting stories is not a new one. I belong to Writing.com, Author's Den, Authonomy, Createspace, who do essentially the same thing. Other similar sites include Scribophile, Fictionaut, Storywhite, Booksie, Fanstory, Writer's Network, etc. That one person has an idea or has even put it in practice should not stop others. I was really hurt and upset at the tone of Sugabelly's post. If there are 50 sites where one can read American or British stories, why should just two for Nigeria become a matter of theft? I even recently found that on FB, there is a group called Nigerian Writers and there is also a Nigerian Fiction on Twitter.

I will try to stop here. I have sent Sugabelly an email to ask specifically if she were referring to me and Naijastories.com but she has not responded. If indeed she is, then it should be brought to her attention that there is no monopoly on knowledge or ideas. Her ideas were not original and there is not even a website with content that anyone can plagiarize. I do not want her post to remain un-refuted for any period of time since some other bloggers have already seen and commented on it. So I want to put this rebuttal out there. 


Finally to her question on whether to go ahead with her plans. I say that she should please go ahead. I and NaijaStories will do all we can to help and support her. I do not see a problem with having as many opportunities out there as possible for Nigerian writers. 

I just want a chance with you...by F

After her outburst, the silence lengthened between them.

“Ifeoma!" Her mother's scolding voice cut through the charged atmosphere.

"Is that how to greet your mother's guest, ehn? With confrontation?” Letting out a loud hiss, Mama came to Chinedu’s aide, stopping what was about to turn into a train wreck.

“Don’t mind her, my son. How are you?”

If she was a meddling mother, he was gladly an enabler. At least, she came through for him. Guy! You fuck up. Why did you have to go telling Iphey you deleted her numbers? Dear God… Smiling sheepishly, he could have kicked himself for the nearly perfect impression of the awkward teenager he was putting on show. Cupid was surely having another laugh at him.

Highly irritated, Iphey cut Mama's bonding session with her perceived potential son-in-law short. “OK… I really don’t have time for this. I have to get back to work.” She stormed off, leaving Chinedu with Mama. At the door, she hurriedly mumbled some awkward but polite goodbyes and “nice to see you” to Ngozi and Otunba. In truth, she wasn’t totally thinking about her job after that last tidbit about deleting her details. She would have agreed to jump on to a bed of hot coals if it meant avoiding Chinedu.

The man might have been shaky with his words in the beginning, but he definitely wasn’t playing at the end. Even when caught off guard he exuded a natural confidence that couldn’t be taken away from him. He had just told her he had been ready to throw her over and here she was still salivating. The fact that he was just as gorgeous as the last time she saw him wasn’t helping either.

"Iphey..."

She looked up and Chinedu was in front of her. His eyes looked straight into hers unflinchingly. This was not the right time to be gazing into the eyes of an alluringly attractive man. Sanity had to be preserved. Brushing past him, Iphey dashed into her car.

Let him stew in it. Leaving him like this made her heart ache, but she was too proud. The high of their reconciliation had been dented by finding out that it had been so easy for him to forget her. And it seemed that the pride of her car had been dented as well, her engine spluttered and died when she turned it on. She couldn’t believe what was happening right when she needed to escape the most.

Again and again, the car refused to start. When she turned the ignition, the uncooperative engine made a sound that seemed to be laughing at her futile attempts to get it to work. Iphey felt herself on the verge of explosion. Surely, this much exasperation couldn’t be contained in one body… She was one second away from bursting into a torrential flood of tears when a deep soothing voice came through her window.

“I’ll take you.”

Iphey decided to play the hand fate had dealt her. Whatever her beef with him, the fuming Funmi still waited in the office. She didn't even want to fight him off any longer. She was in Chinedu’s car with all her stuff before she knew it. As they drove in silence, she noticed he was smiling. Out of amusement this time, not awkwardness.

“What is so funny?”

Chinedu let out a quiet laugh. It was that of a confident and mildly amused man. “So you sabi Ibo like that?” Iphey hadn’t realised she had been cursing in Ibo at her choppy day, her manager and her car. They both burst into laughter. The tension brewed by all the day’s previous events melted into oblivion. There was something about him that always put her at ease. It was the same calm she felt when he comforted her during Obi’s hospitalisation. Her mind drifted, envisioning being held in his arms, totally at peace without a care in the world.

“You always know exactly what to say or do. When you aren’t having strange women over or robbing people at gunpoint, of course.”

The laughter died at once. A feeling of intense stupidity enveloped Iphey. She had no idea why she had said that. Before she could take it back, Chinedu had veered off the road, stopping sharply by some roadside stalls. He was visibly angry.

“Who do you think you are? You no get secret? You no get past? The fact that you know mine does not give you the right to throw it in my face all the time."

He threw his hands up. "Women! You say you want honesty, then you run when you hear the truth. You say you are not interested in me, then you freak out at the sight of another woman. What the hell do you want from me?”

Iphey was dumbfounded. He was irate. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, reverting to a childhood habit of playing with her fingers when nervous. She now looked down at them.

“Answer me! Answer me now!”

“A chance?” she whispered.

Chinedu thought he was hallucinating. He could feel everything inside him softening, turning to mush. “What?”

“I said...a chance. I’m sorry for joking about that. It sounded funny in my head.”

She laughed awkwardly in an attempt to minimise the gravity of what she was saying, and looked down at her fingers again. “I was scared. I still am. You know how they say, ‘Be careful what you wish for’? Well, I wished for someone who made me feel safe. And you do. The violence of your past scares me. But I could work through that. I just want a chance with you...”

Chinedu felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. In their place, an army of butterflies suffused his stomach. Gently, he lifted her chin so he could see her eyes. They were sincere. Afraid, but sincere.

“Iphey, I swear I’m not that person anymore. I promise you. The confusion that led me to that life is not part of me anymore. In fact, I am far from confused. I have never been as sure of anything as I am of us. So if you still want that chance, I can give it to you wholeheartedly. I am serious about you and I need you to understand that.”

Iphey finally found herself submerged in the eyes she had been trying to avoid. Relief and happiness overwhelmed her. Something else did as well. It was lust. She found herself wanting to be lost in more than his eyes. Before either of them could finish their train of thought, they were lost in an intense and passionate kiss. They didn’t even notice the petty traders outside the window until the knocking came.

“Oga, if u go use your enjoyment block customer for me, make you buy something now!”

Chinedu couldn‘t care less. He would buy the entire stall if he had to. Finally kissing Iphey had been bliss. He wanted to do kiss her again and keep doing it.

Iphey smiled widely. The kiss had felt so natural; so right. Chinedu was the man of her dreams. Literally. Those eyes...they smiled into each other's eyes and drew closer again.

Her phone beeped. "Oh no...Chinedu please, let's get to my office."


****************************


So that is it folks. No more love interest ish, Iphey and Chinedu are now proper lovebirds, lol. That kiss, hmmmm...sure made me go awwww....Now go over to the left sidebar and vote for who you want to read more of in the next chapter coming up on Thursday.

Our contributor is F, now I wonder what that stands for. She is one part of Half and Half. F is just beginning to tap into her writing talent and I think she is amazing. She has a shortlisted entry in the Naija Stories Contest (BTW, you can go over and vote for her) and a great write-up of a Bar scene on her blog.

Writing about her entry she said, "I've always had it in me to write so I reluctantly put in a few entries over there, and even entered one for the website launch contest which fortunately got shortlisted. Did I mention I was scared out of my mind and DID NOT want to do this? Writing is the easy part, showing it to people is TERRIFYING."

I'm sorry but YOU DID WHAT?!

There are some sparks flying over at the THE CUPID'S RISK SERIES. After some weeks of silence between the two, Iphey and Chinedu confront their feelings.


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There he was. The man who had refused to call. The man who had made her feel ridiculously foolish and yet made her want to try again. Iphey was shocked to see him after so many weeks! She had to blink to be sure that this was not a trick her eyes were playing.

“Chinedu, what on earth are you doing here?”

As the words left Iphey’s lips, realisation hit her hard. MAMA! She had been right all along. The woman HAD been expecting someone else when Otunba appeared on the scene. She glanced back and the look of ultimate satisfaction on Mama’s face said it all. Right in the middle of this storm in Ngozi’s living room, Mama was grinning from ear to ear. The smile of a woman whose mission had been accomplished. Unbelievable. Iphey tried to caution herself from jumping to conclusions but Mama’s voice sealed her suspicions.

“Oh Chinedu. I have been expecting you! How are...”

“Wait, you were expecting him?” Iphey turned to her mother. She knew Mama was a match-maker but did not believe she would go that far. So all that delay asking for details about James was just to buy her some time so that Chinedu would meet her here? As Iphey extricated herself from the confused web of emotions that her mind had become, she realised Chinedu was explaining.

“Yes your mother called me here... she said she wanted me to come help her with something.”

"So you're not here to see me?"

“Yes...Erm...No... Your mother said...” Chinedu stuttered.

The funny thing about shock or stress is the disconnect between thought and speech. His words were as eloquent as those of a teenager asking for a first date. What Chinedu was thinking was, “How dare you? I am the one who should be demanding explanations here. YOU made up your mind without hearing my side!”

These thought flitted through his mind, yet, the exasperation he felt was far outweighed by something else he couldn’t explain. Like why he could not erase her from his thoughts like he did with his phone. She had a hold on him and he didn’t like it. He realized that she had also gripped his arm literally.

“If you would excuse us,” Iphey said to everyone. All eyes were fixed on them by now. “We need to talk,” she whispered to him...CONTINUE...


**************

In other news, there are some new blogs for you to check out on my April Blog Rolling. If you have not added your link, do so now and go make some buddies. Let's show some blog love people.

NBB at My Writing is and "Information Enthusiast, Christian," He writes, he thinks and likes the web because its a major tool for him. After being pranked by at least 3 people and maybe my humble self, he finally became April wise, lol...

Jonquille is on a quest on his blog, for what? I do not know. What I do know now is that not everyone likes Friday. Jonquille certainly doesn't..."I just had this feeling today’s going to be a tardy day in which all the consequences of my sins basically; get me! Since Friday is like the end of the week I feel as though it’s a dead end. I have nowhere to escape. I think I’m being gripped by today’s chokehold. Friday, have mercy."

JustJoxy has a blog which some might term "Kitchen Sink Drama" That was the first time I heard the phrase and it made me smile. It's supposed to be when someone writes about their everyday lives, humdrum and all, especially when it has to do with cooking and all that stuff.

So any plans for the weekend? How was Friday night? Take good care people and enjoy yourselves too. See you soon.

I'm sorry but YOU DID WHAT?! ...La-Pimpette + F

There he was. The man who had refused to call. The man who had made her feel ridiculously foolish and yet made her want to try again. Iphey was shocked to see him after so many weeks! She had to blink to be sure that this was not a trick her eyes were playing.

“Chinedu, what on earth are you doing here?”

As the words left Iphey’s lips, realisation hit her hard. MAMA! She had been right all along. The woman HAD been expecting someone else when Otunba appeared on the scene. She glanced back and the look of ultimate satisfaction on Mama’s face said it all. Right in the middle of this storm in Ngozi’s living room, Mama was grinning from ear to ear. The smile of a woman whose mission had been accomplished. Unbelievable. Iphey tried to caution herself from jumping to conclusions but Mama’s voice sealed her suspicions.

“Oh Chinedu. I have been expecting you! How are...”

“Wait, you were expecting him?” Iphey turned to her mother. She knew Mama was a match-maker but did not believe she would go that far. So all that delay asking for details about James was just to buy her some time so that Chinedu would meet her here? As Iphey extricated herself from the confused web of emotions that her mind had become, she realised Chinedu was explaining.

“Yes your mother called me here... she said she wanted me to come help her with something.”

"So you're not here to see me?"

“Yes...Erm...No... Your mother said...” Chinedu stuttered.

The funny thing about shock or stress is the disconnect between thought and speech. His words were as eloquent as those of a teenager asking for a first date. What Chinedu was thinking was, “How dare you? I am the one who should be demanding explanations here. YOU made up your mind without hearing my side!”

These thought flitted through his mind, yet, the exasperation he felt was far outweighed by something else he couldn’t explain. Like why he could not erase her from his thoughts like he did with his phone. She had a hold on him and he didn’t like it. He realized that she had also gripped his arm literally.

“If you would excuse us,” Iphey said to everyone. All eyes were fixed on them by now. “We need to talk,” she whispered to him.

Chinedu was as surprised to see Iphey as she was. He did not know her mother was playing one of her tricks again! The woman had called him earlier to come and help her out with “something”. She said it was an emergency and something she could not talk about on the phone. God he had so NOT planned on seeing Iphey! It was the middle of the afternoon and she was supposed to be at work. Now all the emotions that had seemingly been buried were rising from nowhere. His thoughts were paused by the sound of her voice... he had almost forgotten what listening to her was like.

“I’m talking to you Chinedu! Did you know I'll be here when you agreed to Mama's request to come?”

He pretended nonchalance. “I came to see your mother; I honestly did not plan on seeing you.”

Her next words came out of nowhere. “That’s not even the issue! How dare you ignore me since? After that episode with Bisi, you did not even think of calling me to explain. You completely blanked me and acted like we shared nothing.... like I did not mean anything to you! How could you let me go? Why?”

First, it was his past. Now she wanted an explanation for Bisi. Iphey wasn’t even his woman so why was she angry at all? How could she be so worked up when they were not even together? He wanted to tell her he was sick of her excuses. Instead, Chiendu remained calm...

“They say if you love something you should let it go and if it comes back then its meant for you.”

Iphey hissed, “Oh don’t give me that! You did not even act like you were hoping I’d come back! Aisha said you never brought up the subject after that day.”

“I was giving you space, you needed to sort out your feelings.”

“I don't blame you." Iphey rolled her eyes. "Am I not the one that drove all the way to your house to tell you how I really felt but you happened to be with SOMEONE ELSE?”

At her rankled tone, he began getting worked up too. “Iphey, I’m trying to be as civil as possible but you are not making it easy! For Pete’s sake I’m the one meant to be pissed here. I do not deserve this interrogatory process that’s going on here! In fact, I did not deserve the show you put up that night. YOU came to my house and I had a visitor, SO WHAT? YOU chose to walk out without giving me a chance and YOU chose not to pick the calls I made to you that night!”

Iphey piped down quickly. He was saying the obvious. And after her confrontation with Bisi earlier, she knew what she had to do. “OK OK... I’m sorry,” Iphey said. “I really did not mean to raise my voice.”

“Is that all you're sorry for?" Chinedu snarled. After putting him through all that heartache? Making him wonder if he had done anything wrong? Not trusting him? Ruining his relationship with his workers because he had been terribly grumpy since then? And she was just sorry for raised voices?

“I’m sorry for everything! I should have trusted you! Something else happened that night with my family but still I shouldn't have flown off the handle so easily. I’m truly sorry.”

Chinedu felt peace flood his heart. He wanted to hug her. He smiled and moved closer. Just then her phone beeped.

Iphey quickly read the message from Jane.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry, I have to run to work now. I'm late and my boss will fire me if I’m not there this minute! Can you call me later so we can make plans and sort this thing out?”

Chinedu stepped back. With a heavy sigh he said, “Sure I will. What’s your number again?”

Iphey fumbled in her handbag for her car keys. “What?”

“I don’t have your details any more. I deleted them...”

“YOU DID WHAT?!”


*********************************

LOL...and they're already fighting again. I was like why did he go and tell her!

Well, in the end, I found a way to present it. The story is in two parts so there'll be no vote today. In this first one we start with "The confrontation" between Chinedu and Iphey from La-pimpette. Since F, the other person who submitted also started from where they met at the door, there are some clips of hers here too. But check back on Monday for her main story, "The Reconciliation". You really don't want to miss that.

So who is La-Pimpette? She is the blogger behing STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART. In her latest post she talks about the Nigerian way of raising children: "Some people had it good, while others had it so bad and this got me worried. Before this time, I'd say the reason why most Nigerian kids turn out right was because their parents flogged them into shape, thought them respect, proper home training, and all the 'goods' that come along with being Nigerian. But now I feel like the respect and fear is replacing what is actually more important- a relationship with the children. Some people respect and fear their parents but do not love or even know what it means to love them. Why will I be calling my father sir? I'm not saying there should be no ass whooping but it doesn't have to be everyday! Sometimes we really do deserve it, other times, no!"

Update: Chinedu is at the door!

So the votes are in and more people by a long shot want it to be Chinedu at the door. Hopefully, we'll find out what's up with the disappearing James in the later Chapters and if Ngozi has to chose between him and Otunba. how come many people do not like Otunba? Let's some love to widowers please. Come Saturday, we'll know what happens between Iphey and Chinedu. Will there be fireworks, will they reconcile, decide it's all over, what? Stay tuned.

By the way, you guys don't want to be in my shoes right now, or maybe you do. Once the votes for Chinedu started pilling ahead, I received two submissions in quick succession that saw Iphey and Chinedu facing each other at the door. They are both fantastic, believe me. What I am thinking now is which one to use, maybe I should show you guys both or even merge it. Oh well, the joys of a producer. I love it! I'm sure I will find a way to bring out the best enjoyment for all of us. Keep the comments coming please, they help me tailor the directions of the story.

Thank you.



PS, Have you heard of Naijastories.com? It's a collection of stories written by Nigerians for Nigerians. If you love naija stories go over and read. If you think you can write, send and email to info@ naijastories.com to become a contributor.

PPS, Have a great weekend all...

Family Face-off + Blog Rolling

If you want to continue reading about this fiery scene between Iphey and her mother, go over to Cupid's Risk Series to find out what happens. Don't forget to vote on what you want for your next chapter.

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About thirty minutes afterwards, Iphey was at Ngozi's place. As she rolled down the driveway and parked, she saw her mother outside, pacing the length of the small compound. She had to pause for a minute when she noticed Mama’s eyes boring into hers with hurt and disappointment. Immediately Iphey knew this was one of those days one wished to go back to bed and wake up with all the past events being a bad dream. Not that her dreams had been very peaceful at the moment. Iphey sighed and got out of the car.

As she walked towards her mother, it was obvious Mama was angry. She was as tense as a cat on a spring and ready to pounce. Instantly, Iphey began to dread the days ahead. She didn’t totally welcome her mother's temporary visit under any guise because she knew how much Mama loved planning other people’s lives. As she guessed, Mama was too angry to notice Iphey’s discomfort and began to barrage her with questions even before they were inside.

“So that was why you ignored all my calls to your mobile phone these past few weeks and just sent me text messages? If the information had not now slipped out of Ngozi, you had no intention of telling me that you found my missing son-in-law?"

Iphey continued on her way into the house. "Mama, I'm sorry but..."

"How long did you think you could keep such vital information from me, Iphey? Or do you think I have no right to ask?"

"I didn't want to be the one to tell you. I hoped Ngozi would do that. James is her husband..."

Her mother cut her off again. "Or as you believe and have never minced words to let me know, it is not my business? You don't want to get married and now you want to put your sister's marriage in jeopardy?" Mama poured out more questions.

They were now inside and Iphey spied Ngozi on the sofa. She sat with legs crossed and her jaw resting on her flexed fist.

"Ngozi, you better tell your sister that life is not all about work, work work!"

At that point, all Iphey could see was Funmi’s smiling face as she handed over a query or termination letter if she returned a minute late to the office. She turned to Ngozi for help, finding none there, she turned back to her mother....CONTINUE

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In other news: Let the blogs keep rolling! Thank you all so much to those who have linked up their blogs in the April blog buddies list. You guys know I always want to show my appreciation one way or another. This one is a quick and easy widget on my right sidebar titled April Blog Roll. Simply fill in your names and link your blog. I promise to visit, comment and if possible follow any blog listed there, that is if I'm not doing that already. I promised to also remind other blog visitors to check the blogs out in all the posts I make through out this month of April. So these are reasons you should click on those links and visit the first 5:

Anjuelle Floyd is a wife of twenty-seven years, mother of three, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in mother-daughter relations and dream work. Anjuelle facilitates writing groups and provides individual consultation of fiction projects. She also gives talks on The Need for Family, the Writing Process as a Path Toward Self-discovery and Healing. Anjuelle came across this blog from Freado where my book A Heart to Mend is on the top ten and has invited me to appear on her Radio Show. You can also add her on twitter @Anjuellefloyd

YankeeNaijababe (YNC) says this on her profile. "I consider myself very articulate and driven to succeed in everything. I love people,business, fashion and beauty and living life for today. I also have a special place in my heart for "Women of Tomorrow." I believe that anything is possible if you set your heart to achieve it, you just have to believe in yourself and keep aiming for higher heights. This one life of ours is too short to be stressed over ignorant people. Enjoy every moment of your life, live for you and be caring towards others." I love visiting YNC's blog, it's so simple, friendly and relaxing. Not to mention motivational too.

Light-Her-Lamp is the lady behind the "blog chronicles the metamorphosis of a young writer whose sole purpose is to radiate light through her writing style." She agrees that "Light gives of itself freely, filling all available space. It does not seek anything in return; it asks not whether you are friend or foe."-Michael Strassfield. Her blog satisfies me on two levels, I read a story and I also get an inspirational message. I was reading her blogs even before I became a blogger, she has remained very consistent and I love her for that.

Tatababe is a busy law student and has not had time recently to update regularly. So I am very pleased to have her link on that roll and know that she's visiting. She is a bubbly and cheerful personality and that is what I take away from her blog. She celebrated her birthday about a week ago and I love how she capped the post. I speak that in this next year of my life: -Something(s) good is/are happening -Something(s) magnificent is/are happening -The realm of ever-expanding good is actively present in my life. Let's join her in saying Amen!

Purple-is-my-color- is a new blogger and says this on her profile, "I was HIT by GOD with his UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, ever since it been a fantastic LOVE story.. there is no going back.. You can say I am obsessed with Christ, I stalk him and I do everything:) Na love..lol..Motivational/Inspiration. I love people and people love me..do you? well with time. I gather wisdom from What God has given me and read books, listen to preaching, Talk ALOT:) with people to learn from them." I am definitely learning with the royal Diamond.

That's it for today, I'll be coming over to yours soon. Meanwhile, I hope your weeks are going well so far? Take care now you all...

Mama says, "He made the right choice." ... by Myne + Folake Basola

By the time Iphey finished her call and begged off from lunch with Jane, she had developed a headache. She knew the cause of the headache was the coming showdown with her mother. Coming on the heels of her face-off with Bisi, it was a bit too much to know that her Mother was in town and spoiling for a fight. Still numb from the things she heard from the conversation between Bisi and Funmi, she grumpily set about getting ready to leave the office. She was further taken aback to realize that the dark-blue pencil jacket which the dry cleaner had dropped off now sported a very visible stain at the collar. And he had left with his full payment. Terribly frustrated because she had so set her mind on wearing the dark-blue jacket the next day, she felt like cursing him for ruining one of her best jackets.

About thirty minutes afterwards, she was at Ngozi's place. As Iphey rolled down the driveway and parked, she saw her mother outside, pacing the length of the small compound. She had to pause for a minute when she noticed Mama’s eyes boring into hers with hurt and disappointment. Immediately Iphey knew this was one of those days one wished to go back to bed and wake up with all the past events being a bad dream. Not that her dreams had been very peaceful at the moment. Iphey sighed and got out of the car.

As she walked towards her mother, it was obvious Mama was angry. She was as tense as a cat on a spring and ready to pounce. Instantly, Iphey began to dread the days ahead. She didn’t totally welcome her mother's temporary visit under any guise because she knew how much Mama loved planning other people’s lives. As she guessed, Mama was too angry to notice Iphey’s discomfort and began to barrage her with questions even before they were inside.

“So that was why you ignored all my calls to your mobile phone these past few weeks and just sent me text messages? If the information had not now slipped out of Ngozi, you had no intention of telling me that you found my missing son-in-law?"

Iphey continued on her way into the house. "Mama, I'm sorry but..."

"How long did you think you could keep such vital information from me, Iphey? Or do you think I have no right to ask?"

"I didn't want to be the one to tell you. I hoped Ngozi would do that. James is her husband..."

Her mother cut her off again. "Or as you believe and have never minced words to let me know, it is not my business? You don't want to get married and now you want to put your sister's marriage in jeopardy?" Mama poured out more questions.

They were now inside and Iphey spied Ngozi on the sofa. She sat with legs crossed and her jaw resting on her flexed fist.

"Ngozi, you better tell your sister that life is not all about work, work work!"

At that point, all Iphey could see was Funmi’s smiling face as she handed over a query or termination letter if she returned a minute late to the office. She turned to Ngozi for help, finding none there, she turned back to her mother.

“Mama, I’m sorry for everything, but could we do this quickly? I have to get back to work.”

Giving her a smothering look, her mother retorted, “Not this time around, Ifeoma, you will stay here and answer all these questions I’m asking you!”

Being fully acquainted with her moods, Iphey knew her mother could be highly irrational when she got like this. In a reconciliatory voice, she quickly gave a short version of the whole story.

“I bumped into James about two weeks ago in a taxi. That evening he came over to my house to explain why he abandoned his family. He said he lost his job but kept going to work for months, borrowing money from banks to cater for his family and also to take care of Obi’s high medical bills. Soon the bank began to mount pressure on him to pay back or forfeit his house which he had used as collateral. He resorted to gambling and loan sharks whom he now owes millions of naira. He said he had to abscond when he realized the loan sharks were getting ready to draw blood since he was not forthcoming with their money.”

Looking at Mama when she was done, Iphey saw that her mother looked skeptical. Ngozi had the same raw look she wore two weeks ago when Iphey was in her house.

"Is that all? Ngozi said the same and I was hoping you could add something more."

"There's really nothing else."

There was silence in the room. Finally, Mama in a small voice quite unlike hers said, ”I think that was a very brave thing James did.”

Both Iphey and Ngozi looked at their mother in horror. How could Mama approve what James did?

Mama faced Ngozi, arms on her hips, "It is fine for you to feel that what he did was unfair, making you go through so much agony all alone and turning you into a single mother overnight. But believe me, at that point, I think he was left with no choice. I've told you this and I'll say it again, James had to make the painful decision of abandoning you and Obi thereby guaranteeing your safety or staying and bringing about your death. He made the right choice.”

"You say he did right? Abandoning us for three years and refusing to see me even now?" There were tears in Ngozi's voice.

The doorbell rang. When their mother rushed to answer it, Iphey shook her head. One would think Mama owned the house. It was Otunba, Ngozi's benefactor and the quick way their mother returned to her seat left Iphey wondering if she was expecting someone else.

Ngozi got to her feet. "Otunba, are you back already?"

"Yes I did," he replied. "You sounded so worried when you called earlier I had to take the next flight back and come here immediately."

"Thank you so much." Otunba folded Ngozi into the thick folds of his Agbada and stroked her hair.

The long hug was Iphey's first clue that the couple's relationship was more than business as she had thought. Her raised eyebrows to her mother got a nod with pursed lips.

"He called me and asked to marry her." Mama whispered. "No way!" She folded her arms and sat back in her seat.

"Good evening Mama," Otunba greeted. Mama sniffed and Iphey almost choked on the laughter bubbling up her throat. "Iphey, how are you?"

Iphey got to her feet and walked towards him and they shook hands. "I'm fine, thanks Otunba." She turned to the others. "I have to return to the office now." There was obviously a lot of gist but she could wait.

"No, Iphey wait. There's..."

"Mama please, not now. My boss will have my head on a platter..." Iphey opened the door and the words flew out of her head.

Someone stood at the door, hand upraised to knock.


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And that's it folks. Do you think Mama is right? Are you with their mother on team James or have you moved on to team Otunba? Most importantly, who is at the door? You just know you have to come back for the next chapter, vote on the left as usual.

This was a collabo I did with Basola Afolake. Folake is an aspiring writer who saw the series on Facebook and became hooked. I enjoyed the challenge of working with an upcoming talent and maybe I'll be doing more of that. You can read more of her write-ups HERE.

PS, we are looking for contributors. If you've written before and want to do so again, please shoot me an email.

I will Survive

Published on AfrikanGoddess

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how you did me wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
…

I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It was Gloria Gaynor who first sang this song about ended relationships, heart break and how the lady got over it and moved on. And moving on to our topic, this is spring, the beginning of the rainy season in many places. The time to plant new seeds and watch them grow and flourish. Leaves come back to denuded trees and the fields turn green again. Easter is just round the corner, associated with the resurrection of Jesus Christ and new beginnings. My article will deal with surviving a negative experience in a relationship and moving on. This is a topic close to my heart because I have witnessed a lot of people who have found it difficult to come into a new life after such an experience. In my book, A Heart to Mend, I wrote about characters who overcame their pasts of adversity to blossom again in love.

I am your quintessential romantic but I do know that love and relationships sometimes are not forever. Some of us have suffered heartbreak. It can hurt as hell; we think our hearts are literally broken and seeping blood into our chest. We feel small, wounded, beaten and left to die. But the truth is that we get over it. It may take some time, it may take some strong words, it may take physical or mental breakdown but in the end, we will overcome. The lady in the song, we will look our heartbreakers in the face and tell them to go eat s**t. We will rave, we will cry, we will weep and mourn the dead relationship. But if we tap into the strength inside each of us, we will recognize when it is time to move on.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her book, On death and Dying, listed five stages of grief and loss; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Losing a relationship is a bit like losing someone to death. Most people go through similar cycles and stages as they make their way back to a place of balance for them. They deny that the breakup ever happened; they do not let others know. Not their family, not their friends and certainly no other person beyond this group. They boil with anger towards the ex, maintaining that there is no break-up or acting like there wasn’t. They refuse to move out if they were living together; and then begin to give reasons to remain in the relationship. Even when separation is complete, they still find themselves cooking enough for two, speaking to an empty house, just depressed. Painful right? I agree. It is difficult to think of new beginnings at this point but it is possible. This is the story of a friend. If you’ve ever had your heart broken, check if it’s similar to yours.

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So it's a new month and a new issue over on Afrikan Goddess. In the spirit of spring and all things new, I wrote an article on overcoming heart break for the online magazine. The excerpt above is just the preamble, you should all go over THERE and read the whole story. Do leave comments on what you think...

Easter Greetings + Blog Roll

I want to wish all of you my wonderful friends and blog readers a Happy Easter! I wish everyone a day filled with enjoyment, friends and family. In the midst of all the celebrations and happiness this Easter Sunday and Monday however, let us not forget the true importance of Easter. 

                                           

It is not the bunnies, eggs or chocolate, but the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ which has ushered in a hope for life eternal. I want to also use this opportunity to wish you all a blessed and happy new month of April. I know that great things will surely happen and keep happening to all of us.

In other news: Thank you all so much for reading and commenting on my blog, supporting me in this exciting adventure of writing! I always want to show my appreciation one way or another. This one is a quick and easy widget on my right sidebar titled April Blog Roll. Simply fill in your names and link your blog. I promise to visit, comment and if possible follow any blog listed there, that is if I'm not doing that already. I will also remind other blog visitors to check the blogs out in all the posts I make through out this month of April. So let the blogs roll!

Happy Easter!!

Introducing my Family - UPDATE

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS FIRST!!!!

Thank you all for the beautiful comments, the wonderful prayers, and the total belief of my prank. Those who know these things better and how they are done say it should not pass twelve noon. I guess they did not take into account different time zones. I know it is evening and almost midnight in some places but it is just 11.50am here in my corner of the world. So permit me to say, mea culpa. The little mischief imp stole my hands, my thoughts and my laptop for the day.

Those pictures were NOT of Atala and the baby. They were the first pictures that came up on a search for CUTE African babies on google images. I think they fit the bill and BTW, Atala fine pass that guy sha, lol. But that baby, chai! God please give me that baby look alike, LOL.

Finally, thanks to all my FB friends who did not come around to spoil the show. So yeah, if you want to see Myne and Atala, find me on facebook.

ps, I am keeing all the prayers and wishes o.

pss, Abeg no curse me too much, you hear? Hehe

psss, I hope your chuckling now, please just laugh it off

pssss, Somebody thinks this was over- mischievous, what do you think?