Sunday, October 24, 2010

Picture Weekend - Alabama and Tennessee

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I was going through my album recently and came across a set of pictures I had almost forgotten. These were taken in the summer of last year soon after I arrived in the States. We were visiting my brother-in-law and his family and I was meeting them for the first time. I had a great time, they were all so nice and I loved my new nephews and niece. You won't see pictures of me cos most photos that had me, also had someone else in it. So manage these ones OK?

Have a lovely week and remember my birthday is in just two days...

At a new shopping mall in Huntsville Alabama. It had some nice brand shops with a feel of Venice, I think it was modeled after the Vegas Hotel. I haven't been to Vegas though so I'm not sure. The children also had some fun


Going into Tennessee, with the Nashville skyline in the distance. It is known as the country music capital and is also the capital of Tennessee. The water there is the Cumberland River.


At the Gaylord Opryland Resort and Convention Center where we stayed, they had this amazing atrium with the cascades arranged in between greenery. This gave it a kind of rainforest look, and there was a rotating restaurant too, I loved it. 

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Nigeria @ 50: The Golden Age - Day 20

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Nigeria @ 50 Day 19 - Stuck in my Throat www.negesti4life.blogspot.com


So what are my thoughts and dreams as Nigeria clocks the golden age of 50?

I think of Nigeria as home. A home that has stuff scattered all over the place but still home. To understand the way Nigeria gets on my nerves, you have to know that I am something of a neat freak, I want things to be in their rightful place around me. I want things to work, and most times I don't mind pitching in to ensure that they do. In the case of Nigeria, it is sometimes so bad that one would be forgiven for thinking that all hope was lost. I don't buy that, never have and most probably never will.

Let me start from the beginning. I was born in Nigeria and grew up there. I did primary, secondary and first degree in Nigeria. I did not travel out of the country, even for visits, till I was over 25 years old. Some may say that this makes me blinded in a way to the faults of Nigeria. I agree but I do acknowledge that Nigeria has a long way to go. If I compare it to some of the more developed countries, I could even say we'll never get there. This is not true of course and one only has to look around to see that.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Debate Tuesday - Who makes these rules anyway?

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What rules am I talking about you ask? Dating Rules of course. I was reading one of my favorite blog magazines, The Ladies Room, and they had asked some ladies how they fared on sticking to these rules. The question came to me immediately. Who makes these rules anyway? I am glad the ladies from the ladies room gave varied and interesting answers and did not always stick to how it was 'supposed' to be done.

The vexing thing is that these rules range from one end of the spectrum to the other so that if one is not careful, they end up running your life for you. There are guides on when and where to meet for the first date, what to talk about, what NOT to talk about, who should call the other first after the date, HOW - call, email, text - When to have the first kiss, When, IF, how, and where to have sex, When talk about each other, HOW to discuss any exes, when to meet friends or family, WHO pays for the first date, and so on and so on till infinity! OMG...I'm glad I bypassed all these rules and I'm very happy with how my relationship is turning out.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Dolapo Babalola - My God even in the last minute

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I got this book last week in the mail and I have finished reading it, it is that good. This is a Christian inspirational book and it one that will definitely encourage anyone who reads it. Dolapo presents a God who does not abandon us, a God who is always there even in the darkest time of night, and a God that will make our joy full in the morning. My God, even in the last minute is told from the prism of Dolapo's experience on the path of obtaining a US permanent residency. She dispenses encouraging bible verses and some information on the process of H1B documentation and eventual green card. It was also a fun read, tells an engaging story and is well written. Highly recommended. Read Dolapo's interview below.

1. Tell us about yourself?

I would like to introduce myself as Dolapo Babalola (Maiden name: Adeoshun) a debut author of a Christian Inspirational Book titled "My God: Even in the Last Minute" (MyGelm) released September 2010. I am also a family physician; and I practice clinical and academic medicine at Morehouse in the Department of Family Medicine, Atlanta. I am the oldest of four children, born in the mid-1970s to Dr. and Mrs. Adeoshun, who are both based in Nigeria. I obtained my medical degree from the University of Guyana, South America. After that, I completed an Internship at the University College Teaching Hospital in Ibadan, Nigeria. I migrated to the United States in the pursuit of higher learning. I subsequently graduated from Morehouse Family Medicine Residency Program and subsequently stayed on as a faculty member.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Picture Weekend - Love is in the air

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Yeah, there's love in paradise except for these two gorillas at the top - you can see that they infected me with their dour demeanor in this first picture. But especially for the humans at the bottom - I think you'll recognize them. So apart from the first, all these pictures show there's love in the air and that's how I feel this lately. Have you told someone lately that you love them? I love you. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

BTW, did you know that my birthday is in ten days? Countdown soon.













Friday, October 15, 2010

Steps to a successful relationship - full article

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I have noticed that a lot of time when a man disregards his home, or a woman nags the man, it is because they are harboring a grudge from an earlier incident and not necessarily because of the little things that will be their first answer if you ask them. A man might say, she doesn’t know how to cook, the woman will retort, he drops his stuff every which way, but when you probe deeper, there is usually something else. These are steps to better relationship.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Tuesday Talk - To be a Changemaker or not

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Where, precisely, do you go in order to get permission to make a dent in the universe?
The accepted state is to be a cog. The preferred career is to follow the well-worn path, to read the instructions, to do what we're told. It's safer that way. Less responsibility. More people to blame.
When someone comes along and says, "not me, I'm going down a different path," we flinch. We're not organized to encourage and celebrate the unproven striver. It's safer to tear them down (with their best interests at heart, of course). Better, we think, to let them down easy, to encourage them to take a safer path, to be realistic, to hear it from us rather than the marketplace.

In the post titled "Do you need a permit?" acclaimed blogger Seth Godin asked why most of us are more comfortable doing follow-follow or words to that effect. More worrying is the other side. Where people feel comfortable destroying a persons ideas or rubbishing their actions just because they think it's for the person's good. This person just wants to be the change they would like to see in this world and others, not just too scared to step out of their comfort zone, are also scared of change.

To be honest, it takes a lot of guts to stand in the face of such attitude not to talk of continue on that unbeaten path you've chosen for yourself. In some Nigerian circles, it is called the Pull-Him-Down Syndrome or PHD usually going hand in hand with Herd Mentality. So what Seth Godin is saying is not new but I think it is worth repeating. People who want to blaze a trail need to be encouraged because sometimes, it is impossible to be a changemaker unless you have a few good people around you. People who will cheer you on and not try to hold you back. People who will jump in and offer help and support.

So question to you. Have you been a changemaker before, seen someone try? How much support did you receive, and what opposition. Are you still on course with that vision?

Monday, October 11, 2010

Out of Curiosity - Nwabundo Onyeabo (Guest Author)

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Tell us about yourself, a brief autobiography.
My name is Nwabundo Nneka Onyeabo aka Oluwapamilerinayo. I hold a BSc in Public Relations and an MBA in Marketing & Finance from Morgan State University. Some of my poems have appeared in the Sable Quill Magazine and a number of websites.

When and why did you begin writing?
I've been writing since I could hold a pen; perhaps around five years old. I started writing at first just because it was an awesome avenue to express myself and relieve my active mind from all its imaginations - it was not intentional like "today i want to express myself therefore i will write" it was more "ooh here's a paper and a pen! scribble time!" I would write stories, and draw all over my notebooks and with time I realized that there's so much power in the ability to express yourself with written words...

What inspires you to write?
I like to say - everything. I can start a poem or story because of something someone said, something I read, something that resonates with the things I am passionate about. Some of those things are love, nigeria, education, chocolate, family, friendships and food.

What was your publishing journey like, from thinking of the book idea to holding it in your hands.
It was very interesting. I decided to publish a collection of poems three years ago as a 21st birthday / graduation present to myself... i didn't quite get to it that year. My manuscript was accepted by an American publishing company in Summer 2008, but i decided to self publish in 2010 to get a feel of the publishing processes in Nigeria. I'm blessed with the favor and open doors i experienced and also extremely grateful for the bottlenecks because these experiences teach you valuable lessons... lets just say i can now give very good publishing advice :)

Why poems? Do you plan to write prose too?
Poetry is almost like second nature... I write prose also but poems flow through me when i'm inspired. I literally have to find somewhere to put it down, its like being pressed to pee. Once those words are written, typed, or recorded immediately my mind produced them; i can commence tweaking... Prose comes with a hard pressed mind boggling issue with the same urgency but a reduced flow.

Do you have a major theme that runs through Out of Curiosity?
- There are a couple of themes that run through. There's love, issues of life, soujourns (that is places and journeys), and lessons i have learned.

What books have most influenced your life?
- Hmmmmm.... All Enid Blyton books i ever read (Famous Five, and etc), Alex Haley's "Roots", Ben Okri's "Famished Road", Chinua Achebe's "Things Fall Apart", Longer at Ease" and "Arrow of God", Ted Dekker's "Three", and "Obsessed", Frank Peretti's "This Present Darkness"... there's quite a lot o

If you had to choose, which writer would you consider a mentor?
- Prose: Dr. Chinua Achebe; Plays: Barr. Wole Oguntokun; Poetry: Prof. Wole Soyinka, Victor Okigbo

What books are you reading now?
C.S Lewis "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader"

Are there any new authors that have grasped your interest?
- Right now its Chris Abani, Biyi Bandele, Chika Unigwe, Chimamanda Adichie and Sefi Atta

Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your writing?
- Writing to convey in the most surreptitious yet descriptive way what i'm feeling. I only experience this with poems though.

Who is your favorite author and what is it that really strikes you about their work?
- I would have to say Frank Peretti. His writing is totally awesome! Its deep yet understandable and very very spiritual, uplifting and educative. I love love love his work! I'm a huge fan of Ted Dekker as well.... I also love all things by Flora Nwapa, Elechi Amadi and Ngugi Wa thiongo.

What do you think of the Nigerian publishing industry?
- Its thriving! I'm really glad how much we're coming up; from the days of Flora Nwapa's Tana Press till now, I must say we're not doing too badly - we must keep it up!

What comments do you have about the reading culture in the country?
- Ah, it definitely needs to improve. I cannot stress enough how important reading is to human survival. If you think about it critically, its at the root of receiving information. If we don't read, we CANNOT know and that's a fact. I don't think Nigerian youth and children espeacially are reading enough, this needs to change.

Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?
- Firstly, Happy Independence Day Nigeria! Stay Reading! Love your neighbour as yourself and if you haven't bought "Out of Curiosity" hmmmm, lets just say you're NOT my reader! **folds arms and turns nose up in the air** so go buy "Out of Curiosity" :)

Do you have an online presence, Facebook, Blog, Twitter or a website?
- I am on facebook as Nwabundo Onyeabo, there's also a twitter page for my book ~ outofcuriozity

Where can we buy the book, both in stores and online?
- "Out of Curiosity" is available at the Hub Media Stores, Palms Lekki in Lagos Nigeria; it is also available on amazon.com ~
http://www.amazon.com/Out-Curiosity-Collection-Poems/dp/9789083459/ref=sr_1_15?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1285085673&sr=8-15

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Picture Weekend - Vancouver on my mind

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Will I ever forget vancouver? We had such a great time there last month that I don't think so. It's a lovely city, not too big and not too small, perfect for a small-town girl like me. In a way, it actually reminded me a Seattle, both on the West Coast, similar weather and they love their coffee too. Except Vancouver had a marvelous vista of mountains surrounding it almost on all sides, and is more diverse too. The native Indian population is more visible and there are also loads of Asians, I hear Richmond is almost 75% Chinese.

There was also a vibrant social life, with a thriving fashion high street that reminded me of the UK. I don't think we have that in Seattle. We visited several landmarks in Vancouver including Chinatown, Stanley Park, MetroTown, Granville Island, and the Top of Vancouver revolving restaurant. The last felt a lot like the restaurant at the top of the Space Needle in Seattle where we went for my birthday dinner last year. We had a great experience this time as well. I'll stop running my mouth now and allow you to enjoy the pics.

Welcome to Vancouver BC, Canada. It was raining cats and dogs as you can see. 

Passing through the border control, it was quick and easy.

A random bull on the street near our hotel. Vancouver's answer to the Wall Street Bull? You decide.

Walking around downtown, the top of Vancouver restaurant building in the distance.

Holy Rosary cathedral

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Tuesday Talk - What makes a successful relationship?

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Maybe this topic is not a debate cos there are no two sides. I have written a short piece on how we can have success in our romantic relationships and I want to know what others think.

The truth is that having a successful relationship will take a lot of work from both partners. Like someone once mentioned in a group discussion, “success takes patience, perseverance and flexibility”. A fantastic relationship will not happen just because you want it. You have to apply yourself. It takes a lot of effort to oil the wheels of a relationship. I usually liken it to a bank account and how if one is not careful, they can land in the red. Yeah, sometimes love, especially by itself, isn't enough.

Some will say, you only need to be with the right person and you’re home free, but that’s not completely true. Sometimes, I even begin to wonder if there is a so-called “right person” because, if you lay back after getting with THE ONE, you might end up not lasting for any significant amount of time together. This is because no matter how long you’ve been with your partner, you have to always keep working on your relationship and try to find ways you can improve it.

Some things that come easily to mind are the essences of any good relationship, romantic or not. They include good communication, trust, openness, honesty, mutual respect and so on. I have to say that for me personally, mutual respect and good communication are very high on the scale.

So what about you?