Michelle Obama in South Africa - A woman after my heart.

Question: What do you think of women who quit their jobs for their husbands and families?

Sometime in April, I wrote a blog about how I consider myself a role model, and how I also like to acknowledge those that motivate me. One of those women is Michelle Obama.

I was earlier conflicted in 2008 when I first got to know about the Obamas and found out she reluctantly cut back on her job to follow her husband on the campaign trail. I emphasize reluctantly because I believe in a woman freely making their choices for a career, a marriage, children or all of them, and giving their all to whatever they choose. Well, when Obama won the presidency, she quit the job, softened her image to suit popular opinion, and made me go huh?!

But I have to give it to her now. She has since hit her stride, and each day, my admiration of her mounts. She supports the politics that interest her (like Pay Equity for women), and has followed her other passions (like the Let's Move campaign against childhood obesity). She is not superwoman, she does not run the world, but IMO she rules her world. Grace Machal said, "She is a feminist by practice, without shouting slogans." and I concur. Most importantly, she wants to affect/change lives and thereby leave a legacy.

Keep shining the light Michelle.

Taking joy in what she does, and carrying her children along too so they can learn by example.

Atala Writes - Notes from the Road Trip (2)

Happy weekend everyone, hope the work days went well? Thanks to everyone who contributed to the discussion on Immigration, I appreciated all the different viewpoints. And now Atala's notes continue, please read the first part HERE and leave comments o! LOL...

Pulitzer Winner is an Illegal Alien - My thoughts

I've had the immigration debate with several people over the years, and when I found I was falling in love with an immigrant into the US, I had to make sure we were on the same page. This was because of the distortion of psyche Jose Antonio Vargas explains below, and one I never wanted to find in myself.

My Life as an Undocumented Immigrant - NYTimes.com - Jose Antonio Vargas

"It was an odd sort of dance: I was trying to stand out in a highly competitive newsroom, yet I was terrified that if I stood out too much, I’d invite unwanted scrutiny. I tried to compartmentalize my fears, distract myself by reporting on the lives of other people, but there was no escaping the central conflict in my life. Maintaining a deception for so long distorts your sense of self. You start wondering who you’ve become, and why."

I feel some sympathy for Vargas, and for some others who immigrated as children and had no control over their parents' or guardians' choices to move without papers. However, my instinct is that as an adult, they should make that effort to return to their original country and then if necessary, find a way back to the country where they want to be.

For those who are already adults and choose to leave their country and settle in another without the required documentation that grants you permanent residency or citizenship, I do wonder, what are they thinking?

As someone who has lived as an immigrant in both the UK and the US, I have come across many Nigerians who are illegals, call it undocumented or what have you. The truth is that by making that choice to overstay a tourist visa, student visa, or expired H1B, you're putting yourself in a position where you can't help but lie to get by. You lie to get social security, lie to get a license, lie to get into school, lie to get a job. Lie, lie, lie, how can they bear it?

And say you're a single woman, or man, you may even find yourself lying in your personal relationships, you may get married on a lie (Green card marriage), and what if you end up married to a fellow illegal - which happens often - what about your illegal-born American children? Do people realize it's no more automatic, and the children could get deported along with them too if they're caught? Some states in America are in the process of setting up laws to discriminate against illegals in such a way that it even affects their legal children, especially when it comes to food stamps and other government benefits. But do I really blame them?

And here I come to the weightiest part for me personally. My number one life motto is FREEDOM. Inside and out. Vargas had an apparent freedom, but in his head he was in prison. He could not travel out of the US, and had not seen his family in the Philippines for almost 20 years. What kind of life is that? For me, I want to do whatever I like with my life, go wherever I want, and live wherever I want.

Most of all, I want to be free to achieve whatever I can. It breaks my heart to see talented and skilled people waste themselves in under-the-table jobs just because they're illegals in a country. I wish more people will realize how important it is to maximize your life, both for your own sake and for that of whatever country you happen to live in.

What are your thoughts on this matter? If you'll prefer to drop comments as Anonymous, I've turned it on specifically for this.

Atala Writes - Notes from the Road Trip (1)

Did I tell you guys that Atala wanted to share some notes about our trip? This is not a narrative, just short bytes that stuck with him. Enjoy...

- We left Seattle on Saturday morning around 8am and what a difference mountains make. As soon as we crossed the Cascades, it was goodbye woodland and wetness... hello scrub and sunshine. The reduced vegetation enabled us to see the wide blue sky touch the horizon, and at first, my reaction was 'wow'! But after a while, I began to miss the clouds in the sky, especially because the further south we went, the hotter it became.

Most Beautiful Girl in Nigeria Videos - Charismatic girl deciphered.

So the MBGN contest is coming up in a few days and the organizers are really utilizing the social media to get the word out. I made a comment on one of the first blogs about the video immediately below where the girls/applicants make the case for why viewers should vote for them. I'm guessing these days judges votes are combined with votes via phone and SMS. Watch the video first...



So I asked on the blog, is it that these are ALL the girls that applied, and the organizers had no choice but to pick them all. Because they spanned the spectrum from some manageable girls to the complete disasters, and I was thinking it was impossible to have selected these finalists form a pool that included worse applicants. I spoke too soon, check the video below...

Romance on a Road Trip - Salt Lake City, Utah

Hello people, welcome to another week. I want to use this opportunity to welcome all my new followers and commenters. I'm still catching up after our vacation, and if I haven't visited, followed or commented on your blog recently, please let me know in the comments. Now to today's post from one of our stops - Salt Lake City.

Well, you all know I'm a champion for public displays of affection, where I might disagree is with those who want to climb into each other's throats as a definition of affection. If you wanna get sexual, find a room already, lol. Anyway, something happened during our trip and I couldn't help falling in love all over again.

Picture Weekend - Romance on a Road Trip (1)

So you guys know I'm all for public displays of affection, where I might disagree with those who want to climb into each other's throat is the definition of affection. If you wanna get sexual, find a room already, lol. Anyway, something happened during our trip and I couldn't help falling in love all over again.

So we got to Salt Lake City in the evening after a long drive, and I was happy to check in to our hotel and freshen up. Though the clock said 6pm, the sun was so high in the sky and HOT! We decided to relax and wait for it to cool a bit. Not wanting to while away the city, we made plans to hit it for a movie and dinner out.

Sunshine Award

So a few days ago, Rhapsody Phoenix, of Rapping on a Melody gifted me with the Sunshine Award pictured above. This is what she had to say about it, "Please keep the blessing going by gifting 10 people with the award letting them know their contribution to bloggersville is appreciated and what they have to say matters." Thank you Rhapsody.

So because I've got double portion sunshine, I'll be passing it on to the following 20 people who always bring sunshine into my life with their blogs, comments, and actions - online and offline. They never fail. Thank you all...

Frequently Asked Questions - I want to be a published author

Dear,

Congrats on your anniversary, it actually looks like I've been reading Myne Whitman for like 3 years,

I have been meaning to ask, how do I go about being/learning to be an author, its not like I consider myself much of a good writer, but good or not, I have some little things I write every now and then and I dream of publishing them someday.

I don't want to keep thinking about it all on my own, just said to ask some more established writers like you people.

I work as an Engineer, I speak more with figures and drawings, so English sef na difficult thing. but writing as always been a dream.......you want to help me start off?

Notice me or I die! How to get your blog noticed

I'm beginning to slack a bit, but after a week on the road, I think I can forgive myself. I was supposed to do a massive blog round yesterday but I had so much mail requiring replies plus some other stuff and I ended up making comments in only a few places. And this brings me to today's topic. Within my first months of blogging, almost everyone knew who Myne Whitman was, and what her blog was all about. It helped that I had 'Writes' in my title, but there were other factors too. What are they?

I was everywhere.

Yes indeed. Some may call it lack of job but for me then, and now still, it is my job. I don't make a living from it yet, but we could get there. And I'll reiterate what I've mentioned before, blogging is not a competition. You decide how big you want your blog, how much you want to be noticed, if at all, and then take it from there. I started out wanting to get traditionally published so I wanted to get widely noticed in order to get an agent or publisher. Along the line, I decided to publish myself and being noticed became even more important to sell my books.

So how did I do it? I followed a lot of blogs. To be honest, even when there's no selling involved, your blog can be seen a product because you want to share your ideas and your opinions, and maybe get other people's point of view on the things you may be going through and the stuff that matter to you. Unless you want to be speaking to a vacuum, (and I do know that most bloggers want some form of attention), you need to have your blog noticed. Go out there and follow more blogs. How do you find them, you ask? It depends on the community you want your blog to fit into.

Remember this article on Finding your Blog Niche? Depending on your title, description and the type of posts you plan, that kind of tells you what community to target. If your blog is basically Nigeria-themed, find a blog directory for that like the NBA - Nigerian Blog Awards. Others include Bookblogs - bloggers about reading and reviewing books, Shewrites - for women writers and authors, SitsGirls - mostly female bloggers, moms or nay, IAN - independent authors network, and more. The easiest way of course is to follow the people who follow your blog, and those that make comments as well as tapping from the blog list of the blogs you already follow. If you look on the lower left sidebar, you will see my media sites, and blogs I visit.

Another way to get attention and draw traffic to your blog is by being on the social media networks and commenting on websites that are related to your blog. Social media include Facebook and Twitter, and if you haven't already, sign on to them immediately. Make sure that the name you use corresponds to your blog. If you already have your real name accounts, but you don't want them connected to your anonymous blog, then open new accounts with your blog name. I joined FB and Twitter with my real name before I started blogging, but after Myne Whitman took over, I simply changed the name. And that is very important, you have to be consistent across these platforms or people will be confused.

Messageboards and Forums also come in useful here, as well as related websites. I have a presence on Nairaland, Naijastories.com (OK, I'm the founder of this one), Nigeriavillagesquare, CoffeeTime Romance, The Romance Reviews, among others. I make sure to regularly make comments on these forums and interact with their members. You don't have to spam the sites as most of them have a feature for you to have link to your blog in your signature. Others that are wordpress-based will link your name/comment directly to a website you provide. For the Nigerian blogs, other websites include Lindaikeji's blog and BellaNaija.com.

In the next blog tips post, I will share more on other ways to get noticed. Stay tuned...