Have You Got a Heart to Mend + 400 Posts!

What has the title got to do with this picture? Well because Mania Magazine is featuring A Heart to Mend in it summer TRAVEL issue. So do pick up the magazine, and if you wish, go on down to your nearest Bookshop, online or in stores, and get yourself both a copy of A Heart to Mend and A Love Rekindled.

Oh yes, and Agbani Darego, the cover model, and former Miss World, will hold a special autograph session on the 17th of July, 2011 from 3-6pm at the Silverbird Lifestyle Bookstore, Victoria Island, Lagos.

Also, this is my 400th post, and I want to dedicate it to everyone reading. Most of my blogs are excerpts from my WIP, but I've also shared about myself, my life and what makes me who I am. If you still have any questions about me, or for me, please leave them in the comments and my next post will provide answers. I don't promise to answer everything or everyone, but I'll do my best. :)

PS: A random commenter on this post will get their choice of AHTM or ALR paperback. But only if they live in the US, UK or Lagos, Nigeria

When did you find out about sex?

I almost said procreation in the title, but hey, we're all adults. Not that you'll know that going by the couple in this viral article that Atala brought to my attention a few days ago.

Chinese married couple clueless about sex - Yahoo! News

A highly educated couple, in their 30s from Hubei, China, thought that the wife would get pregnant by sleeping on the same bed, Malaysia's largest selling Chinese language newspaper Sin Chew Daily reported.
Prior to their marriage, the couple did not dare hold hands and kiss as they thought the woman would get pregnant by doing so, reported a China newspaper Chu Tian Jin Bao.
However, the couple decided to seek medical advice after the wife, who holds a masters degree, could not conceive.
They have been married for three years.
The doctor was shocked to learn about their "sex life".
The husband, who has a doctoral degree, said they were too focused on their studies.

Is this possible?

Laugh wan kill me die when I heard the news, and I didn't believe it until Atala showed me the links so I could see for myself. I went down memory lane about watching this Bollywood film (Jamina?) that fed into the myth then because the young actress thought she could get pregnant by kissing. You know how some of our mums, or aunts, or basically most adults would warn growing girls about talking to boys, walking with them, holding their hands, allowing them to touch you, and so on, and the bogeyman was always pregnancy.

I think by the time I got into secondary school and started devouring the novels in the library, and then was taught "the almighty reproduction" by around 14 or 15, I basically knew the nitty-gritty, if not the techniques, physics and chemistry of the whole thing. So you now know why I was laughing so much at this news. Still sha, I've had friends who were not as fast or curious as I was and did not get the memo till around 18, 19 or 20. But in your 30's, with a masters and PhD under your belts, and having lived as man and wife in the same house for three years? Atala said maybe they were asexual, ehm, it wasn't me. LOL...

Some choice thoughts from the Yahoo readers, share yours below in the comments.

"Question is; how did they get degrees while being so dumb?"

"So hard to believe. Internet was introduced to the world in 1994, 17 years ago. Even a Primary 1 child in Singapore know how to google "sex" & watch how to do it on their PC. Duh!!!"

MWP - The Cat-eyed English Witch By Abubakar Adam Ibrahim

Today on Myne Whitman Presents, I will share a short story by a writer who I admire a lot. Abubakar Adam Ibrahim has been published in various journals and anthologies, including Africanwriting.com and Sentinel Literary Quarterly. He has a degree in Mass Communication from the University of Jos, Nigeria, has written for Vanguard newspaper, and is now the Arts and Culture Editor of the Sunday Trust. His entry, “The Bull Man’s Story” won the 2007 BBC African Performance Playwriting Competition, and he has a book too, The Quest for Nina.

The story he was kind enough to submit to us is below. I hope you enjoy...

*********


The tiny corpse lay in a multicoloured bundle, cradled in the mother’s arm. She held out the bundle to me, showing me the innocent face that could have been sleeping but was now very dead. The mother’s brown eyes gleamed, not with grief but with a fiery hostility.

“You killed him, you wicked witch,” she hissed angrily.

The words stung me, like a vicious blow, like the heat had struck me when we first landed in Abuja. It was not particularly strange that she called me a witch; they all did anyway. They found my blonde hair attractive but my grey eyes unsettling. I don’t think they have seen many white women here. They call me The Cat- eyed English Witch and then I’d thought it was kind of…I don’t know, amusing perhaps. But with Manasa standing in front of me, a dead child in her hand; a child I‘d adored, and accusing me of having killed him, it was…shocking, to say the least. Tears fogged my eyes.

It had begun in London one fine Saturday morning in Trafalgar square, six years ago, when I first met Bawa. I was sitting by a fountain, watching the pigeons strolling, pecking at the bread crumbs, pairing up and cooing, doing what pigeons do on a fine summer day. Behind me, I could hear the fountain, sighing sweetly like a lover’s voice. Then the pigeons fluttered their wings noisily, cooing wildly and scattered into the air from a threat I hadn’t noticed. Their soft under feathers seesawed gently down to the ground and then, there he was, standing.

Picture Weekend - Book Reading at the Redmond Library

So I was booked to do a book reading and discussion at one of the Libraries in our area. They recently stocked both of my books, A Love Rekindled and A Heart to Mend and were impressed by the interest in them from the members. Anyway, it was a lovely outing and even though only five people in all turned out, I had fun discussing with them in a more intimate and personal way. I even made a new fan/friend, lol...

Frequently Asked Questions - Learning to write from online courses

Hello Myne,

I'm a fan of your blog and your writing. Lately, I realise I have many ideas that I'd like to write down but can't seem to be articulate. I remember a previous post in which you mentioned that you took free writing lessons. Could you please recommend any online programme?

Many thanks,

_________________

Hello

This is a link I bookmarked two years ago and which I refer to on a regular basis.

Diplomaguide.com

When I started out then, I found the Creative Writing Suite 101 course very useful, as well as the Write what you know from the Open University UK.

I have moved on since then to the editing parts, but you can pick and choose as they suite you.

Hope it helps,

Myne

Baz Luhrmann - Everybody´s Free ( to wear sunscreen)

So I saw this over on Mizchif's An Idle Mind, and couldn't believe I was just seeing and hearing it for the first time. There is so much wisdom packed in those 7 mins than you'll believe. Like I keep saying, Free Yourself! and Life is for Living, enjoy it!

If you can't watch the video, make sure to read the words transcribed by Mizchif below it.Thanks for visiting.

Face to face with Simon Cowell - X-Factor Auditions Seattle

So I've been a fan of the X-factor reality show since I lived in the UK and I missed it when I moved here, the American Idol couldn't compare, especially without Simon Cowell. You see, I had developed this love-hate relationship with him, or his personality as a judge. He got my admiration for being very creative and hard working, and I liked his wit and that he could be quite honest. I won't really call the other part hate, lol...I just wished I had his caustic tongue in certain situations (like when I get all those FB messages from bone headed men), and of course so much money can't be bad for you, hehehe...

Guest Author - Tosin Ogunkolade: Makaira - The Double-Edged Sword

Hi everyone, today, I'll be showcasing a new and aspiring author. Read my interview with Tosin, and you can add your own questions and comments too.

Olutosin Ogunkolade is an inspired and prolific writer of many parts, and diverse interests. He has written various articles on politics, warfare, business strategy, marriage, success motivation, religion and fictional works. He is from a family of five children, all boys and he is the second child. He was born on the 14th of November 1978, and has  been privileged to have schooled within Nigeria and outside the shores of Nigeria, he now resides in London His writings cut across different areas of living, they come about as a result of deep thought, keen observation and a very imaginative mind. With a career in innovation design and calligraphy, Tosin blogs and writes in his spare time.

His blog is titled The Dreamers Blog! and you can find it HERE with topics such as The Danger of Black Supremacy, What is real manhood, Understanding mordern day Parables, and What has Marriage got to do with it. Some of these are discussed in his first book, Makaira - The Double Edged Sword published via Authorhouse in April. Makaira is a telling story of imagination that encompasses leadership, the power of one, spirituality, Africa, politics, deliverance and ultimate triumph. It is a tale imbued with love, the power of light, and revelatory insights targeted for the reader. After finding out about the book, the author was kind enough to grant me an interview.

What inspired you to write this book?

My inspiration was drawn from the works of writers I like, writers like Frank Peretti, Ted Dekker, C.S Lewis and Francine Rivers. I see the works of such writers and I think why can’t I do the same. I have been told i think up good stories due to an active imagination and I thought I should put it to use.

Please tell us why people should want to read your book.

It’s an interesting, fast paced story that I believe can inspire hope. There are insights within the book that can be gleaned while enjoying an interesting read. It’s a Christian fiction material that has Africa particularly Nigeria as it’s primary focus and I believe there is a niche for such a book.

What is Blogging all about?

Before I go on, please go and vote your favorites at the Nigerian Blog Awards.

In my opinion, blogging is about reaching out and personally, that is why I blog. That some people promote their blogs, or are nominated for awards is nothing to be ashamed of. My blog for instance is not a diary, and was never meant as one. I started off in late 2009 to share the stories I write, and I have published two books along the line, counting it a blessing that blogging brought me this far. It was since I became more comfortable with the community that I started to share my thoughts and the person behind the pseudonym.

Still, this blog is quite different from a lot of blogs that are about deeply personal experiences. I respect some of such blogs, many of which have added to my perspective on different issues.  However, when some anonymous bloggers complain about popular blogs, I wonder why they're public? If really you're not seeking comments or traffic, why not ensure you're only writing for yourself by making the blog private? Once your blog is public, and has the sharing button, you're speaking from both sides of your mouth.

On the Naija Blog awards, some people are drawing parallels between 'real' and 'Twitter' bloggers and between excellence and popularity. I don't believe these are mutually exclusive; excellence can lead to popularity and vice versa. If I visit a tweeted blog a few times, and think it's rubbish, I'll likely stop. If I unfollow because I think they're too popular, and though I love what they blog, na bad belle. I'll prefer to let a million blogs start up, and let time and the readers do the rest.

In most blog communities, what matters is that people find a platform and are able to build supportive networks. I'm a big fan of the NBAs and don't think Nigerians have even begun to scratch the surface with blogs. The Huffington Post (sold for $315m), Belle Du Jour (Bestselling book and TV series) and BellaNaija, among others, started as blogs. So if you want a private or small blog, by all means do you and don't knock others. However, if you want to dream big, the sky is just the beginning.

All the best to the nominees, and especially to my blog followers and those I nominated.

Happy 4th of July weekend to my American peeps. Have fun, everyone!

________
ps, If you saw my name among the nominees and didn't see it again, I asked to be excused.

Domestic Violence is beyond Single Vs Married

Earlier this morning, my Buzz timeline showed one of my media sites' report on the man who killed and dismembered his wife of 2 years. It was so upsetting for me that I tweeted a bit about it about how it seemed that some things were changing for the worse in Naija these days.

During my rounds, I found that Kemi of Till my Dying Day blogged of the shocking news in a post titled In Defense of....

Someone somewhere wrote about this story and understandably tied the tragedy in with "marriage people". I understand the intention and stemming from reports that this particular marriage had had a history of violence and physical abuse, I get it. Nonetheless, my reaction is to say wait a minute, not all marriage is bad.

She goes on to defend marriage, and from what she wrote, I get her stand, and even support it to some extent. However, I think it is such defense that will keep the lines drawn between us women. IMHO, the "We against Them" mentality is not very helpful. My thoughts -

Is there a societal pressure in Nigeria to get and stay married? Yes. Is it ONLY in Nigeria? No.

Was there a history of DV in this case? Yes. Are we CERTAIN marital abuse lead to this death? No.

Does DV happen in marriages? Yes. Does it happen ONLY in marriages? No.

Domestic Violence is not about marriage because unmarried people have been attacked and killed in domestic situations. And while it disproportionately affects women, it's also not about gender because men have been victims of DV.

I believe DV is about power and anger management. So whether one is married or single, male or female, they have to be self-aware and protect themselves. If you find yourself in long heated arguments with loved ones and family (even colleagues), please walk away. Don't be a victor, don't be a victim. You could be finished (in jail or psych ward) or you could be dead. There is no winner.