Dear Myne - My Boyfriend is Stingy

Presently, I am in a relationship where i don't really feel ok. He seems to be a cool guy with me amidst his friends and my family but sometimes i count it as pretense. I have heard stories about marriages, that things change in it like the feelings and the love dies, to the extent that I've thought of opting out.

We have been together close to 2yrs now and he has already proposed to me and our parents both know about the relationship. I tried breaking it off twice, but he kept pulling me back and convincing me that all will be well. Sometimes i don't know what to think. My main problem is he does not really spend money on me.

As if he saw me that I am not demanding, and i don't ask so i believe he took advantage of that. Worse is that he is always asking money from me, and I sometimes give him. I know he is not wealthy, still trying hard to make ends meet but I don't like that he asks me. That's why i believe he's a pretender, and stingy.

3rd Annual Gratitude Giveaways Hop

Hi, everyone and a special welcome to the first timers visiting my stop on the third annual GRATITUDE GIVEAWAY HOP. As thanksgiving approaches, it is good to be grateful and show gratitude for the things that we're thankful for. One of those things for me is this blog, and being able to have this online space, and I am grateful for all you readers.

The winner of my Giveaway will receive their choice of up to $10 in books from The Book Depository (including shipping) or a $10 email Gift card from Amazon.com. To enter the hop, share something you're grateful for in the comments and also include your contact details if it's not linked to your name or profile. Good luck!

Check out other blogs in the giveaway hop below;

15 Topics for Couples Thinking of Marriage

One of the aspects that came up in a previous post was the importance of being on the same page with your spouse and how this can be achieved by communication. When a couple have been together for a while, meaning they've stayed the course over several dates, and agreed to become exclusive, and maybe the m-is-for-marriage talk has come up, then it may be time for some serious talks.

These discussions may be uncomfortable at first but they'll ensure the couple know each other fairly well and are on the same page on key issues that affect marriage relationships. Far from interrogation-style affairs, it would be easier if the couple is able to feel relaxed and build the topics into everyday conversation. Some of these topics include;

1) Money: While nothing is as un-sexy as talking about a budget, money is one of the biggest sources of contention in a partnership. So bring it up. Talk about it often. This matters.

2) Children: Do you want them? Does he? How many? When do you want to try to have them? All very important questions as kids are more than a fashion accessory.

The Holy Sin by Femi Owolabi

My teary eyes searched for absolution in the phlegmatic face of the judge, as she slowly perused through the lines of the paper in her hands. It was the last of the papers she’s been reading since she overruled my lawyer’s objection. Barrister Ken- my lawyer had speciously argued my case.

As the judge read towards the conclusion, she paused and gently removed the glasses perching on her nose. Then, she wiped her face, and cleaned the lens of her glasses with a tissue-paper she fetched from the glass-case before she put it back on.

“This is my judgment!” She boomed gutturally, raising her face.

Make The Happy You Want To Be

Some quotes are cliche until you undergo specific events or experiences. Does one see a white light when they are under general anesthesia or do they float outside and above their body? Does becoming a mother make every woman a conservative republican? You can only live it to know it, LOL. On a personal level, while I've learnt to own my infertility, it becomes more difficult to explain it to someone else.

Like on this blog, I usually do it in a very simple and straightforward manner. I try to tell them the truth as I understand it. The difficulty is that everyone understands it differently, and because procreation is such a big part of life, most people have an opinion, and a strong one at that, on how it should be done. Presenting a more individual, this-is-my-story perspective is often misunderstood.

A few comments have asked why Infertility instead of TTC? But the fact is that this series is more than trying to conceive. If you believe, like I do, that God has given us all things for this life, and to be like Him, through our knowledge of Christ, it gives one a lot of insight. If there's anything I will need in this life, it is already given, and I don't have to beg or cajole or push my own will at God. I only have to trust and to accept and to live my life.

Beyond the Cost of Planning a Wedding

The cost of planning a wedding in Nigeria is another search #1 which lands on the post about my big fat Nigerian wedding. Nigerian weddings are not unique in being expensive, the 2012 average cost for a wedding in the United States is around $27k (around N4million). One can even say the Nigerian wedding is more cost-effective because there's usually two or three events involved - traditional, court and church wedding.

In my previous post linked above, fellow blogger Doll, who got married in Nigeria in February 2012 says she spent about 4.5M. and my guess is that's probably the cost of an average middle-class wedding in Nigeria these days.

Now not everyone may be able to afford that and it is usually best to remember to cut your coat according to the cloth you have, and not to your size or wants. In this case, it means taking into consideration your savings and your income and trying to keep the wedding expenses within your means.

The first step is to consult both families and then agree with your fiance on the size of the wedding. It is ideal if you are able to make a definitive list of exactly the number of people you want and you can list them by name, but this is difficult to pull off for most Nigerian weddings.

Date Night Movie Review - Cloud Atlas

I want to start a new series where I share the movies Atala and I see at the cinema. We have very ecletic tastes and see all sorts. Sometimes we both love our selection, or one or the other of us just hate it. On cloud atlas, it was two thumbs up reviews from both Atala and I.

Atala - I first heard about Cloud Atlas from Myne, who herself had seen it in a blogger's "must watch" list. I was intrigued to hear that it dwelt on themes of the interconnectedness of lives across time, because I'm a big fan of movies that explore the deeper issues of life. In addition to this, it promised grand spectacle - something that Myne is very big on. So we made up our minds to watch it when it came out.

I have a favourite saying - happiness is the difference between what you experience and what you expect. Well, in this case, that saying was turned on its head, because what I experienced wasn't better or worse than what I expected - it was just simply different. Different in a good way.

The movie is made up of six different stories which occur at different times, ranging from the nineteenth century to some time far in the future. The stories are very different in style, but I found them all enjoyable in their own different ways. The two stories that I liked the best was one about a composer who faces a conflict because of his sexuality, and one about a 'replicant' - an artificial human being - who ends up setting off a rebellion, because they both explore the agonizing emotions that someone experiences when having to make hard choices.

Bachelor by D'Banj - Music Video Romance

I'll like to say a few words about the song and Dbanj first, before I talk about the video. When the relationship broke down between Dbanj and Don Jazzy, there was the question of the way forward for the singer. He had been the frontman with Don Jazzy, would he now just be a hanger-on in his new label? Would he still make good music? What would his new sound be like on beats not produced by Don Jazzy?Oyato didn't seem to be a good start but with this, Dbanj has redeemed himself. For me, anyway.

The video? LOL...A lady is angry about the bachelor's philandering ways, and when he refuses to change, she trashes his stuff and skips town. There's honestly nothing too unique about the video when compared to recent international or Nigerian music, it's all about expensive lifestyles and video vixens. Not that I was expecting different from Dbanj. Maybe he'll surprise me one day sha.

Have a great weekend all.

Why Does He hold my hand and hug me in Public?

This is a search #1 question that I would have thought was very open and shut? If a guy displays affection to you in public, it simply means he is attracted to you and wants you and the people around you to know it too. Most times, he would have said something about his feelings to you. If he hasn't said anything, then you have to be careful, PDAs like holding hands and hugging can also be exchanged among platonic friends.

If it is the case that you are friends with a guy and he hugs you, he may just be the touchy feely type and there may be no romantic feelings involved. If you think you may be reading too much into the person's actions, you can simply ask them?

Doing Things Together as a Couple

By Nkem Akinsoto

One of the advice given to new couples is to do things together, and even where they have busy schedules, they are encouraged to make time to spend together. When Atala and I got married, he was living in the United States and as we agreed, I had rounded off my stay of three years in the UK in plans to move continents. Luckily, I was able to get my US visa and join him about a month later.

When I arrived, it was March, and if you've heard of Seattle, you've probably heard wet, cloudy, or evergreen in the same sentence. Spring in Seattle is the poster child for dull and depressing weather and that was when I arrived. Add to that fact, I had no job at first and also did not have an American driving license. You can measure my desire to get time outside of the house as well as spend time with my brand new husband.