Ireti Doyle Speaks on Motherhood and Parenting

Ireti Doyle is an actress, a television producer and presenter, as well as a wife and mother. While reading her interview on the BN Weekend Celebrity, I was reminded of the post on Eya's blog where a woman wanted help in parenting her teenage daughter. A lot of very helpful comments came in, basically saying the same things, know your daughter and become a friend as well as a mother.

Ireti Doyle got pregnant as teenager, and had some problems with her mother not understanding her and vice versa. Now she is the mother of a 26years old lady and 4 other children. I found her interview very honest and indepth on how women can combine a career and motherhood - with help and acceptance of what you're trading - as well as on cultivating a relationship with your children, and being a parent at the same time.

How do you combine your duties as a mother with the demands of your job effectively?
It’s not easy, every working woman knows that. Sometimes you have to sacrifice and sacrifice comes both ways. Sometimes you have to pass things up, sometimes your family has to come to terms with the fact that they won’t see you for a bit. But the first ingredient for a balanced life is grace. And secondly, I am fortunate to have a fantastic team where each member knows what they are supposed to do and thankfully, they do it well.

Tell me about this team
They are not too many. I have my housekeeper who also doubles as a baby sitter when I need one. I have my Personal Assistant, she’s been with me for years. And I have one or two other people that I can call on short notice. Motherhood is basically being on hand to attend to your child’s needs and I can’t be in two places at the same time but I try and build my career around my family. Fortunately acting is not as rigid as an office job could be. Once in a while you might miss important moments but you just have to balance it out and fortunately I’ve been able to do that well.

10 Ways to Marry the Wrong Person

Blind love is not the way to choose a spouse. Here are practical tools for keeping your eyes wide open.
With the divorce rate over 50 percent, too many are apparently making a serious mistake in deciding who to spend the rest of their life with. To avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalize these 10 insights - by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.

#1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married.
The classic mistake. Never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after their married... for the worst!"
So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.

#2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character.
Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning. Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love" often means, "I'm in lust." Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's character?
Here are four character traits to definitely check for:
Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing" is more important than personal comfort?
Do I want to be more like this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?
Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give charity?
Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says s/he's going to do?
Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable?
Ask yourself: Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

20 Things Every Woman In Her 20s Must Know by Jennifer Ehidiamen

1. Love and honour your mother. Learn from her mistakes. It will save you a lot of headache in your thirties (30s) and beyond.

2. You are more talented than you’ll ever know. You don’t need to sleep with your Boss/supervisor to get a promotion at work or better grades at school. Burn late night candles, put extra time to study and practice until you master your skill. Hard work still pays well.

3. Women can build a strong support network. Don’t let few ladies with “Pull Her Down” syndrome discourage you from cultivating true relationship with your female friends.

4. When a man you meet for the first time babbles about how much he earns working for an oil company and how rich he is, that is a red flag. He is either a married smooth-talker who just wants to sleep with you or he is childish. Walk away from deceit.

5. Make your own money. Start small. Maintain a stable bank account. It will keep you out of trouble.

6. When you meet your Soulmate, don’t forget to wear your most priceless ornament- submission and humility. But while waiting for him, don’t cling to any man to rescue you. Some men these days are also seeking for who will rescue them.

Women's Motivational Stories #2 - Mo Abudu

Mosunmola Abudu, also known as Mo Abudu, is a talk show host, TV producer, media personality, human resources management consultant and entrepreneur. She is best known as the Executive Producer and host of the TV talk show, Moments with Mo,

Moments with Mo "is the first syndicated daily talk show on African regional television." According to wiki,

By October 2009, over 200 episodes had been recorded and aired with numerous topics ranging from lifestyle, through health, culture, politics, entertainment, tradition, to music and inter-racial marriages. Guests have included celebrities, Presidents, Nobel Laureates, and the 67th US Secretary-of-State Hillary Rodham Clinton,[2] Abudu says the show "highlights the life and accomplishments of a usually well known, but sometimes an undiscovered African individual who by his or her own tenacity and determination has accomplished something, overcome something or been a catalyst for something that makes her or him a role model to others."
Aired on M-Net with TV coverage in 48 African countries, the show now also airs on terrestrial and cable TV in other parts of the world.

Watch Video - What's a Woman's Selling Point?

This video sha, do ladies sell themselves this plainly? And to their friend's boyfriend too? Na wa!

If you ask me, I think she's spoiling her own market. She sounds desperate, and willing to do anything to get a man. Not only is she a malicious gossip, she will go as far as stabbing her friend in the back. God spare us from such frenemies. That's so not an attractive look.

Watching it, I'm like, babe chill, hooking a man is not that serious, LOL...

Have a great weekend peeps :)

Update on Real Life Match Making

For those who wanted more information about Peter Branson earlier, I've agreed with him to post up more about him. He is really interested in women in the US.

I am easy going ,never married and no kids yet.

I am christian, of Urhobo (Delta State) descent. My current location is about 3 to 4hrs flight away from US.

Preferred age range - 30s. Someone who is easy-going and family oriented

Many thanks.
PB

Dear Myne - He Hasn't Called Since the First Date

I just met this guy or should I say the guy saw my picture in his cousin's phone and he got to like it. He asked her to introduce me to him which she did. We went out for a date and at the end he promised another date. But it's getting to a week now he hasn't called or even sent a text message. I'm scared of calling him, I don't want him to think that I love him too much.

This also came in under the Setting P post, and has been edited for clarity. I wish people would stop writing in text-speak. Anyway, I responded that she shouldn't call him, as he's probably no more interested.

How do you see it?

Egg Plant With Gizzard in Tomato Sauce

This was one of our no-carbs dinner nights. I replaced the carb with aubergine, also known as egg plant and boiled it  for a few minutes in the back. Gizzard is like a delicacy to me, I just love it and can munch on a it all day when well cooked and spicy :)

Depending on the size of the egg plant, one or two should be enough. Wash thoroughly to avoid sand or any debris and cut into pieces of your choice. Put in a pot with just enough water to cover the pieces, add a pinch of salt and boil for 10 minutes. Remove from heat and drain immediately.



GIZZARD IN TOMATO SAUCE

Ingredients - store bought gizzards, vegetable oil, onions, tomatoes, pepper - all chopped, 1 maggi cube and salt to taste.

1. Put 2 teaspoons of oil in a sauce pan, and heat till lightly smoking.
2. Add the washed small pack of gizzards, the maggi cube and salt.
3. Saute on low heat for 15mins, stirring intermittently.
4. Add the chopped onions, tomatoes and pepper and keep stirring for another 10 mins.
5. Check that the seasoning is enough, and add more if necessary.
6. Remove from heat once it starts to simmer.

Women's History Month - Motivational Stories #1

March is Women's History Month here in the US. Last month was the month of love and we celebrated the men who love us, and those we love. I've decided to use this month as an opportunity to showcase some contemporary Nigerian young women doing motivational things. I'll start with a young lady I discovered just some days ago

Ola Orekunrin is a 26 years old medical doctor and founder of Flying Doctors Nigeria, the first air ambulance service in West Africa. Her start-up is a social enterprise providing urgent air ambulances to leading health institutions, insurance companies and private individuals throughout West Africa.

Dr. Ola an exemplary product of England’s Foster care system, was raised in a working class home by foster care parents where she quickly learned the value of hard and smart work. Dr. Ola later applied these skills learnt in her childhood to put herself through school with jobs in retail, modeling and administration. Undeterred by the challenges (financial included) that seemingly blocked her path, Dr. Ola graduated medical school at age twenty one (21), becoming the youngest doctor to graduate in the entire country. With such impressive credentials and brilliance, you would think she would settle for working at England’s prestigious acute care facilities/hospitals. She had a different agenda.

Encounter With A BlackBerry Babe

What’s your BB pin?”, she asked conceitedly, raising her BlackBerry screen-glazed eyes. Her fake Yankee accent was drowned by rancorous voices and the din of the heavy metal music blaring from the Hi-fi speakers of the high-end nightclub in the heart of Victoria Island, Lagos. Even when she was just sitting across the table as we both share a drink, I could barely hear her.

Just as I could not make any sense out of our conversation in the entire time we spent together that evening. To add to my misery even now as I reflect on my experience that night, it is difficult to tell if my inability to understand my young female guest was due to her contrived foreign accent or the frequent interruptions from her “pinging” and the instant messages that kept coming into her BlackBerry phone.

Her obsessive romance with her phone, which repeatedly came in the way of our acquaintance, can be likened to having a conversation with the deaf. So, I had proceeded to ignore this new question; one of the many she had asked, while she took intermittent pauses, with the usual vacant look, from her dialogue with her imaginary phone character, intent on ruining my evening.

I was going to treat her new enquiry like a rhetorical question; but leaning close to me, she asked the question again, insisting on an answer. Her persistent question about my BlackBerry status threw me off balance for a moment.