Statement from the Church on Solomon Akiyesi Wedding

The church where Nollywood actor, Solomon Akiyesi attempted to marry another woman while still legally married [read initial story] is the Overcomers World Outreach, and to show they were not flouting the law, they have responded to the incident with an official statement. The writer, Chika Moses, is a journalist and the daughter ofthe General Overseer of the Overcomers Church, Bishop N.E. Moses. [see his video]

She writes well and moderately, but no need to call into question the timing of the first wife, what if she just heard about the wedding at the last minute? I do pity the second wife, but if she has been married traditionally as is usually the case, then she is legit in the customary side. As for the would-be bigamist, I saw his FB note, no wrds SMH. As they say, age is no indicator of maturity, and going to church is no determinant to knowing to do what is right.

What was meant to be a day of celebration – the wedding ceremony of one of our members Uloma Agwu to Mr. Solomon Akiyesi at the Overcomers Church World Outreach in Aguda – was sullied by an ugly incident. Immediately following the praise and worship session and before the officiating commenced, a woman who claims to be the lawful wife of the groom disrupted the ceremony. She was accompanied by people who sought only to wreck havoc in the church. They were unruly and violent.

We regret the ugly series of events that followed this brash display. At the Overcomers Church, we do our due diligence to ensure a couple set to wed is right in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of God. To the best of our knowledge, Mr. Akiyesi, was unmarried. The Overcomers Church World Outreach regrets that the woman who disrupted the wedding chose such a time to do so. There is no ideal situation here, but it would have been right that she bring the case before church officials in a manner befitting a house of worship. This was not the case.

Where to Meet Potential Dates in the Morning

This came as a search query and was taken to the post I wrote on meeting potential dates online and offline here. I decided to take it up and list some specific places to hang out in order to meet dates. I guess the person searching specified morning hours as opposed to the evening or night, as those are easier with bars and parties. But morning hours are not ruled out for meeting a potential date. Check out the following tips, and add yours too.

The most important thing is wherever you end up, keep your eyes peeled and a smile on your face. Also, you have to be sure to only hang out in places where a potential date who shares that interest will be to your liking. Landing a date with a bookish type at the library will not work out in the long run if you're the run in the park type.

1. Coffeeshops - In the US, starbucks are ubiquitious, like 2 for every block here in the Seattle area. Drop by for your pre-work cappuccino or for a mid-morning snack.

2. Parks - Maybe it's time to take up jogging or running. Do it at your local park, or along the streets in your area if they're safe enough. You can also just hang out, when summer comes, with a book and drink, or invite friends for a picnic.

Are You Living Within Your Means?

With a name like Petronella Wyatt, it is clear she was born into money, in Igbo her name would be Utobundu Egoyibo. But one problem we all sometimes have is thinking good times would last always. From over-priced clothes to extravagant vacations, and more, Petronella did not save for the future rainy days as she enjoyed her GBP six figure income.

When you are a middle class person who wants to rub shoulders with the wealthy elite, when inflation and recession hit, be sure you will be left under the bus. I'm not totally without sympathy for people like Petronella, but it's more of a cautionary tale. Her piece for the Daily Mail is an eye opener.

Last year, for example, I had to decide between a summer holiday and a new summer dress. I decided on the holiday, but as the cost of the flights and hotel added up, I realised I would have to raise an additional £400.
I began selling the summer clothes I had bought the previous spring. I now buy vintage, and rummage through charity shops.
Owning a Chanel suit, the price of which has risen over ten years from £1,000 to more than £5,000, is out of the question. Indeed, I can barely afford the charity shops in St John’s Wood, where I live.
Despite these savings, I no longer take a holiday in the winter and rarely eat in a fashionable restaurant, let alone visit places like the Ritz. It is a struggle to pay the rent.

Chinedu Ikedieze on how Public Attention Affects Celebrity Couples

Chinedu Ikedieze and Wife

Chinedu Ikedieze has been acting in Nollywood for over a decade now, and is well known as one half of the duo of Aki and Pawpaw. I watched a couple of their earlier movies, but after that, it became a bit repetitious, and Nigerian comedy as a whole, IMO, seemed to get stuck in the same old same old. In his interview with BN, he actually blamed producers who split movies into up to 6 parts as being the major part of the problem.

On questions about how he met or proposed to his wife, I love their picture above btw, he chose to keep the details close to his chest. According to him, he met his wife the way people meet people, and his proposal was very unique, and he wouldn't share it for fear other men would copy it. I want to believe he's joking. The other part of the interview I found quite interesting were the questions about how him being an actor in the public eye had affected his wife and marriage. It made me think about my role as a blogger. Check out the questions and answers below;

Inspirational Quotes - Everything Good Will Come

We Should All Be Feminists - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie at TEDxEuston

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie a renowned Nigerian novelist was born in Nigeria in 1977. She grew up in the university town of Nsukka, Enugu State where she attended primary and secondary schools, and briefly studied Medicine and Pharmacy. She then moved to the United States to attend college, graduating summa cum laude from Eastern Connecticut State University with a major in Communication and a minor in Political Science. She holds a Masters degree in Creative Writing from Johns Hopkins and a Masters degree in African Studies from Yale University. She was a 2005-2006 Hodder Fellow at Princeton, where she taught introductory fiction. Chimamanda is the author of Half of a Yellow Sun, which won the 2007 Orange Prize For Fiction; and Purple Hibiscus, which won the 2005 Best First Book Commonwealth Writers' Prize and the 2004 Debut Fiction Hurston/Wright Legacy Award. In 2009, her collection of short stories, The Thing around Your Neck was published. She was named one of the twenty most important fiction writers today under 40 years old by The New Yorker and was recently the guest speaker at the 2012 annual commonwealth lecture. She featured in the April 2012 edition of Time Magazine, celebrated as one of the 100 Most Influential People in the World. She currently divides her time between the United States and Nigeria.

Solomon Akiyesi and Bigamy in Nigeria

Solomon and Lilian Akiyesi (First wedding)

I know polygamy is part of the traditional culture in the south, and part of the religious culture in the north of Nigeria, but I thought Bigamy was a crime? So some men who married their first wives by customary marriage could go ahead to take another woman to a court or church for a legally registered marriage, or vice versa. But trying to marry two women through the church sounds a bit risky.

As reported by Linda Ikeji, here and here, Solomon Akiyesi, a Nollywood actor planned to marry a new wife without a divorce from his first wife. The party was cut short when the first wife interrupted the wedding proceedings. Some reports say the marriage will go on after the pandemonium calms down. What did he tell everyone, I wonder? Seperation is not divorce, and I doubt the estranged wife excuse if she's pregnant for the man.  What was the pastor of this church thinking, and even now or was it all a money thing?

Can you see how the would-be bigamist was sweating in one of the pictures like he knew he was doing something fishy?

Adventures of a Miss!! Episode 7

“Hey babe, something came up. I have a quick meeting that just came up so I’ll pick you up by like 9pm when I’m done.”

That was Bolaji’s voice message; Oh my Lord, what if Zainab did call him and that’s who he is meeting with? What if she tells him everything? I am finished. I should just call him first and spill my guts now before she has a chance to twist the whole story to her advantage.

My phone was ringing again, what is it? Can I live?

Kehinde: “Toke, please can you come pick me up from Seye’s house like right now?”

Me: “What happened? Where is your car? Are you crying? What happened?” She burst out crying.

Kehinde: “Please just come right now to pick me up, I have to go.”

Me: “Ok I’m coming right now.”

Before I even had a chance to remember my own problems, I was already in the car heading over to Seye’s place. I wonder what happened; thankfully he was only about 25 minutes away from me. I called once I made a right turn into the estate to find out if I should bother coming into the house.

“Kenny, where are you? I just turned into your estate, should I come in?”

“NO! I am outside already, just get here please.” She hangs up.

Pregnancy or Baby Before Marriage?

Paul Okoye with new born child

I doubt if this has always been this way, our parents and grandparents usually got married between 2 - 3 months of being match made. However, when I was in my twenties, I heard from some men that if we got together with a plan to get married, they would like if I got pregnant before the wedding, both traditional and church. This was specifically directed at me by one so-called suitor, but most times it was in general discussions and most men there would also reveal this same wish.

I saw it as a way for some of them to state up front that they wanted sex before marriage, others of course were more plain, they wanted to test the woman's fertility as marriage for them was primarily for procreation and they made no bones about it. Forget the fact that they could be the one with infertility issues, leading to some women who would sleep with other men in order to nab another man with the pregnancy.

Also, with pentecostal Christianity sweeping Nigeria by the time I left the country, I had kind of assumed this would stop the culture of baby before marriage as principles of abstinence were promoted. Then there was also the HIV and STI crisis that also rose up in the early noughties and how condoms and zip up were a big parts of the ABCs of prevention.

So how come this seems to still be a big part of the courtship procedure, and even among the Christians?

Dear Myne - I Like to Do Wild Things in the Bedroom

Hello Myne, I don't mean to stir the nest, but can someone here tell me if oral sex (and all that stuff) is permissible in a good Christian marriage? I am in the process of getting married and this question has begun to nag seriously on my mind because I like to do wild things in the bedroom. I know because I am not a virgin, although I am now back in God's will and have been for a while. I can't ask this question in Church because I am not sure how it would be received. Very eager to hear what everyone here thinks of this and thanks in advance to everyone who'll give their opinion.

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We have  discussed Nigerian men and oral sex here, and what I think the bible says about it here. But what about other wild things, like vibrators, kegel balls, cock rings, edible panties, flavored condoms, even bondage. Should I add anal and whips to the list? Too 50 Shades of Grey? OK, I agree, but what is permissible for good Christian marriages? Let's discuss.