Titi and Gbemileke Welcome Twins

I met Titi through a writer's group on FB and we met for the first time when she featured me in a program with her at Inspiration Fm during my last trip to Nigeria [see pictures]. Today, Titi and hubby, Gbemileke welcomed a set of twin girls. Congrats to them.

Fuelling Poverty - Can This Film Fuel Revolution?

This documentary feature is about the culture of greed and corruption in Nigeria as filtered through the prism of the Fuel Subsidy Scam of 2011/2012. It was made by Ishaya Bako but his attempt to get approval from the National Film and Video Censors Board, NFVCB, to classify and approve the film for distribution around Nigeria received a smack down.

In an April 8 letter to Mr. Bako, NFVCB banned the documentary in Nigeria, saying its contents “are highly provocative and likely to incite or encourage public disorder and undermine national security.” According to PremiumTimes, the letter, "signed by the NFVCB’s Head of Legal Services, Effiong Inwang, warned the filmmaker against violating the order, saying “all relevant national security agencies are on the alert. A copy of this letter has been sent to the Director General, Department of State Services and the Inspector General of Police for their information.”

I have seen the documentary and if you ask me, it is a stretch to see what the censor's board is seeing. It was a film worth making and I believe it should be distributed on national networks including NTA. Watch and share your thoughts.

Boston Marathon Explosion: A Moment of Silence

I was in a waiting room when the breaking news came on CNN, two explosions at the Boston Marathon. Two people were dead and about 20 injured. Every eye was glued to the TV and as each minutes passed, the number of those injured continued to rise. I went on Twitter and soon found that an 8 years old was one of those dead. Reading the clip below on the HuffPost made me even more sad.

Boston Children’s Hospital received eight patients injured at the explosion at the Boston Marathon. Patients’ conditions ranged from good to serious. There were no patient deaths among the patients brought to Boston Children’s from the scene. Our patients included:
A 9-year-old girl with leg trauma who is in the operating room.
A 42-year-old parent of a patient is being treated in the ED.
A 7-year-old boy is being treated in the ED for a minor leg injury.
A 12 year old with a femur fracture has been admitted.
A 2 year-old-boy with a head injury has been admitted to the Medical/Surgical ICU.
More on HuffPo

May the souls of those dead rest in peace, and God grant peace and healing to those injured and all their families.

Adventures of a Miss! Episode 8

Saturday was finally here and regardless of all our issues, we all come together to help Semi prepare for her daughter’s birthday party this afternoon. I was helping with decorations, Tayo was cooking, Kehinde was running errands picking up last minute things like the cake, ice and other stuff while Semi was busy coordinating everyone else. I had just burst yet another balloon and I was running out of breathe so I decided to get a drink.

Semi: “Have you finished with the balloons, what are you doing here?”
Me: “Just so you know, we are not your hired help, we are volunteers” as I walk towards the fridge.
Tayo: “Amen to that.”
I start laughing while pouring myself a glass of water; “And this volunteer needed a glass of water.”
Tayo: “Don’t mind her, of what use are you here in the kitchen just sniffing the aroma of my food.”
Semi: “You guys are not serious oh, are you doing this for me or your darling Fiona, abegi jo.”
Tayo: “If only Fiona’s mummy wasn’t so bossy, anyways Toks, shey Muhammad is still coming today?”
Me: “Yes, I invited him on Tuesday so I believe so.”
Semi: That’s good then, no need to worry, everything will be ok.”

I went back to my decorating duties and started thinking about if the way I am handling this Zainab issue is the right way. As much as I want to empathize with her, her boldness of thinking her money can solve all her issues won’t let me. At this point, even if Bolaji broke up with me with everything that has happened, I would still go ahead with the plan because she definitely deserves it.

Overcomers Church Founder Speaks on Solomon Akiyesi

In this video, the founder of Overcomers Church, Bishop Moses really lambasts Solomon Akiyesi's actions in fraudulently trying to marry another women while still married to another [read post]. IMO, Solomon Akiyesi is simply a love rat/scammer, and he almost got away with it with the lackadaisical attitude of this church. It is good they are standing by the women who as almost scammed into committing bigamy, she actually makes a cameo in the video. And BTW, she is not pregnant.

The video is accompanied by another statement from the church [read first one]. They have come down even harder on Solomon Akiyesi, but also express disquiet about his first wife's MO of disrupting the wedding. Well to each their own, and she was married to a Nollywood director :) Seriously though, I agree with the publicist, there are more dignified ways of stopping this wedding than seeking a public fight. Read the statement...

This is a follow up to our statement from Saturday, April 13, following the disrupted wedding of Mr. Solomon Akiyesi to Ms. Uloma Agwu.

In light of the media mayhem that has erupted with tabloids spinning their own version of events, we find it necessary to make a final statement on the matter and hope that listening ears and hearts will understand the decisions we have made as a church.

Let’s start by addressing some of the rumours that have been perpetuated on several gossip blogs and tabloids.

Mr. Akiyesi is not a member of the Overcomers Church World Outreach. We heard no word of an existing marriage to Mrs. Lilian Akiyesi.

When Are You Having Children?

Some people keep saying how surprised they were, and still are that I came out about my infertility. For some, it's the whole religious "confess positively", which I actually understand, but by putting it out there, I believe I' getting even more positive thoughts and prayers from you guys, right? And for the others I have this following answer. It is easier to say it than to try to avoid the question and comments that almost always come when people  know you're married for up to a year.

"When are you going to have kids?"

"Are you pregnant, you look pregnant?"

"You like ice cream and chocolate? You must be pregnant!"

Atala and I celebrated four years of marriage last February, and we do not have kids. My infertility story is on this blog [read here], but on this post, I'll like to look at how  people's attitudes about marriage, pregnancy and infertility may affect women and couples trying to concieve via ART, IVF, or building their family through adoption

I want to talk about the unrelenting questions and insinuations childless women receive and how much it can hurt, confuse and pressure their marriages and the decisions they make.

What Chimamanda Really Meant About African Hair

Chimamanda made some comments about hair the same day I published the post about texlaxing my hair for easier management. I decided not to join issues with her comments, which she's of course entitled to, but to focus on my own hair and what works for me. Some other bloggers not only reported on the comments, they embellished it with their own biases and raised a firestorm on FB and Twitter against Chimamanda. To the extent that she had to respond in an article titled ‘Of course I never said African women with Brazilian hair have low self-esteem. That’s absurd’. Read more...

Please read my interview with the Observer to know what I did say. I love my hair, its kinky and dense and coily. I love playing with it, trying hair butters and oils, wearing corn rows and afros. But sometimes I get tired of it and want a break. So I add extensions. I like extensions, but I always look for extensions that look like my hair. For me, the best compliment for extensions is the question: is it your hair?

Many of us say our natural hair is too hard, too difficult. But that’s because we weren’t taught how to care for our hair.  (I have discovered the wonders of coconut, castor, shea, even honey for softening hair. Trick is add it when your hair is wet! You get wonderful softness!)

Relaxers are not about softness. They are really about texture. Otherwise there are ways to soften hair without permanently changing the texture of hair.

Of course African women don’t want to be white, but we live in a world where the mainstream idea of beauty is straight hair. Magazines, films, popular culture all show straight hair as ideal. My cousin wears a wig to the gym because she says her natural hair underneath is too ‘ugly.’

More Ways Of Meeting New Poeple

I earlier listed some ways of meeting potential dates in the morning here, the following tips are not limited to mornings or evening, but general places and means of adding new people, especially those who may be eligible to date, to your social circle.

1. www.meetup.com  - connections here start online based on a shared interest and is usually taken offline. You can either start your own meetup, or join one for singles in your area. I currently belong to 3 meetup groups - book club, women nights out, and professional.

2. Free events - Google free events in your city and go there and speak to new people. When I lived in Edinburgh, there were tons of free castle and museum visit days or weekends, and stuff like that.

3. Volunteer - Look up some charities and see which of their events you can join up with. You can also start a fund raising drive for your favorite orphanage or a cause close to your heart. These kinds of activities get you out there, and who knows the fat-pocketed single you'll run into?

4. Alum Events - Look for your college or university alum group in your current city and see if they have any events coming up which you can fit into your schedule. One guarantee, all the guys there will have a degree, and you can both reminisce about your school and your times there.

Yemisax and Shola Durojaiye's Introduction Photos

Nigerian Saxophonist, Yemi Sax, proposed to his girlfriend, Shola, about a couple of weeks ago, and they're not dilly dallying at all. They carried out the marriage introduction this weekend according to Yoruba custom at the bride to be's family house. Enjoy the pictures.

Happy Birthday to My Wonderful Father

My family in Nigeria just finished celebrating my daddy's 80th birthday. It is also my sister's birthday who shares the same birth month as my Dad. I miss him and all of them so much today especially. My dad is just the absolute best Dad. Of course with my bone-head, we had our issues, but I knew he was always there, and that helped make me the woman I am today.

My daddy had his dreams for me, but at the end of the day, he was also the sort of father that allowed you to live your life. I thank God for the amazing years He's given you so far and I pray for even more happy, healthy, and fulflilled years. Amen. Thank you, Daddy, and happy birthday.