Dear Myne - I'm Not the Type of Woman He Wants to Marry?

I am 28 and had been dating for 3 years. My relationship was quite steady and I expected my guy to propose when I finished service 2 years ago. My birthday, his birthday and our dating anniversary came and went by and he still didn't proposed, I presumed he was going to propose immediately I got a job, but even this didn't happen, I knew I had to do something. So, after yet another birthday, I sat him down and told him we needed to talk.

I asked him if he had any intention of getting married and when, so I will know how to plan my life and that was when I got the shocker of my life! He began by saying he used to love me but right now, he didn't think I was the type of woman he wanted to marry and after probing and probing, he came up with these excuses.

I kept secrets from him. He said he'd gone through my phone and discovered that I will rather talk to my friends and family instead of talking to him about issues that bother me. An example was the marriage issue which I'd discussed with my best friend over our BB about 5 moths ago and I didn't know he had seen it. He also mentioned an abortion I had for him over a year ago which I didn't think I should mention lest he thinks I was trying to trap him with pregnancy. I was shocked that he knew, yet, he didn't raise the issue until now. I tried to explain my reasons to him, which was that I din't want to sound desperate or come across as wanting to trap him, but he insisted that he had the right to know and would have been happy to take full responsibility of the child. He said he never forgave me for having the abortion without his consent.

The Wife Diaries - Episode One

"What do you want?" I asked him.

I was kneeling on the edge of the bed, sitting back on my heels, watching him. I cocked my head to the side in a 'I'm listening' pose. He sat back against the headboard, looking at me from under his eye-lids, shirtless in his boxers. I watched his lips as he licked them and watched the muscles in his arms flex as he put his hands behind his head. Still watching me.

"What do you want?" He asked me, jutting his chin in my direction.

I didn't answer.

"Come here"

I crawled in between his legs and sat back on my heels again. He smiled and looked at my body.

"I like what you're wearing" His voice changed, telling me of what was to come if I let it.

"Thanks. It's the one you got for me, remember?"

"I remember," He looked at my breasts spilling over the top of the peach negligee I wore and licked his lips again, this time slower.

Does Hot Water Affect Breasts?

I confess that I've never heard about hot water being a factor in the sagging of breasts or otherwise. This comment came in under the Women are better off without bras [read post].

Fortunately for me I have small breasts so I go about without but there is a question I would like to ask, how hot must a bathing water be, does hot water have effect on breasts?

When I was younger, the debate on having perky breasts was centered more around how often one wore bras, whether men fondled or suckled the breasts, and how much one wore wrappers tied around the chest. Of course it went without question that once a woman suckled a child or two, most of the perkiness flew out of the window, and some old women were quite proud of their flat and sagging breasts.

So in all of this, where does the effect of hot water come in?

Positive Social Spaces

I want to use this opportunity to address some of the comments on the Chimamanda post. That post was not meant to offend anyone, but to correct the impression some people got from wrong blogs and sources about what she said the first time around. On this post, a comment actually left a link to one of such wrong information blogs .

It was unfortunate that the comments became embroiled in that which divide us. Maybe I should generally moderate comments on this blog, or have stopped the comments on that post after I saw the way it was going, but I couldn't have guessed how it would end. To anyone who was insulted or offended, I apologize. Adura Ojo, I'm glad to hear you've calmed down, this is for you too.

I may be a hypocrite, but I can never hate myself. Am I perfect? Far from it. Do I try to live a more healthy lifestyle, I do try, but I am also real and true to myself. I eat ice cream and processed foods. I know cell phones and microwaves are radioactive, but I still use them. And yes, I know relaxers may be linked to hair and general health issues, but it is my choice to use them, under advise, at this time.

Dr. Ngozi Okonjo Iweala on CNN with Christiane Amanpour

One thing that stood out to me was that she could say nothing to Alamieyesiegha's pardon. On the corruption  issue generally, she went all emotional. Oh well, what do I really expect her to say?

The transcript is below for those who would prefer to read the interview,

Couple Love at the Encomium Black and White Ball

Chinedu and Nneoma Ikedieze

I have to stop calling these posts Couple Love since it is no more just about couples in the romantic sense of it, the next one will be tagged Date Night to showcase people making a date of events, for a day or night out.

FBI releases pictures of suspects in Boston bombing

This afternoon, the FBI has released surveillance video and photos of two young men fingered as persons of interest or suspects in the twin explosions that killed 3 and injured 170 in Boston. To contact the FBI with information, call 1-800-callfbi or online at bostonmarathontips.fbi.gov.

Bringing Google+ Comments to Blogger

+Blogger as we know it is changing by the day, and that is because Google, their Oga at the top, is becoming more and more interested in going social. To boost Google Adsense in 2009, they integrated it with blogger, and some insist that sounded the death knell for blogging. I'm not sure it's a bad thing, it's very useful for me, just like this new development may be.The want G+ comments, which will work a bit like Facebook comments, to replace Blogger comments.

After experimenting with Google Wave and Google Buzz, Google+ is now the de facto social site for all things Google, and it's not surprising they want to integrate it with Blogger, another of their strong social platforms. First it was the G+ sharing buttons, then the G+ circles (which killed Friend Connect BTW), and the G+ authorship that boosts your blog's search rankings.

According to the email I received,

Once you enable Google+ Comments, people can share the comments they make on your blog to their circles in Google+, helping you reach people that they know. And there's more: mentions of your posts on Google+ automatically show up right in your blog's comments, so you can see more of people’s public conversations about your content (and private conversations you’re part of).

Designed to be Under a Man

I am honestly still mulling over the comments by Monalisa Chinda to Sunday Entertainment Express over the weekend. I was discussing it with some friends and a few of them mentioned she was just being honest to herself and her beliefs, and I applaud her for that. When asked if she would like to re-marry one day, the actress replied,

"I would love to. I am designed to be under a man. I am not going to lie that I like the single mother thing going on. I believe in marriage. Whether you like it or not, it is the best option but it's not a do or die thing though. I have been there before and if I'm going to do it again, it has to be right by the Grace of God. I am not ready to make another mistake."

So this is not about Monalisa, I'll just like us to consider the words, "designed to be under a man" and how that relates to relationships. Considering it from three levels,

1. designed to be under a man - men generally
2. designed to be under any man - any man you end up in any kind of relationship with
3. designed to be under a specific man - a man who loves you in a mutually respectful relationship.

Taking You From Friend to Fiancee

Guess how popular this book will be? I saw this cover, and the blurb below, and could only laugh. Why I am laughing? That subtitle is just classic, "Get him to want you as much as you want him without letting him know that you want him to want you", especially the second part that I underlined. The back blurb goes into more detail...