Being Thankful While Waiting to be Parents

Seeing the picture above recently reminded me of the fact that we have been waiting to be parents for a couple of years now, and while currently working actively towards getting a child into our life, we have been taking it step by step, not stressing over it, and thankful for what we do have and share.

Some months ago we determined to start the process of foster care and adoption and attended the relevant training we needed to put us in a frame of mind to have a child or children in our home.

Some say it is easier to do things when you're younger, like getting married or having children. I'm not talking about being physically able to do either, but about the mental state required to do these things. Now, it's not that doing those things are easier at that stage, just that when you're younger, you don't overthink these things. This could be a bad thing, as some people make mistakes, but it could also be good if you're wise and luck is on your side, or you keep educating yourself and growing together, with your husband and with your children.

When you're older, you're definitely wiser, and you may have learned from other people's experiences all that could go wrong. You analyse and weight each decision minutely before you go ahead. The training we had were packed with resources to educate and inform aspiring foster and adoptive parents, and develop our parenting skills.

Is Omar Borkan Al Gala That Handsome?

When I used to read Mills and Boon, a description of an Arab sheikh who looked like this would have got me swooning at the knees along with the usually blond and blue-eyed heroine. Now, I hear all the buzz, I look at the pictures, and I'm like, what? Who is with me?

Sign Fireman Gets Married - Wedding Pictures

Sign Fireman is like a friend of this blog though since my post on his style of publicity using hot girls in Lagos [see post] went viral, and his PR people left his rebuttal on this blog. Well, he got married over the weekend. I wish him and his wife all the best for their married life.

Kim Wonder - How You Dey [Music Video Romance]

Kim Wonder is a South Africa based Nigerian musician. She recently released the official video for her single “How You dey”. The video was shot in Johannesburg, and highlights the essence of humanity, love and kindness even to strangers. It's a lovely video and the set kind of reminds me of Jill Scott's A Long Walk.

Dear Myne - My Husband Flaunts His Unfaithfulness

Myne, making the man who is unfaithful answerable only to his God and conscience could just be the only way for one to have peace and move on in life. But it can be so terrible when your hubby thinks you are the cheating partner and has decided to go all out to punish you by flaunting his escapades and denying you sex.

But all the same you still keep a straight face as if all is well.

Please, in this situation what should the woman do when in all fairness she has never ever defiled her matrimonial bed. Reactions from readers will be appreciated.

Inspiring Quotes For You

The Wife Diaries - Episode Four

“Nkem, what’s going on? it’s 3 am in the morning. Is everything okay?” I got up from the bed and was now pacing the room.

“I’ll tell you when I get there, please. I..I can’t talk right now,” she hiccuped.

“Is Nick with you?”

“No..”

“Okay, I’ll tell them to open the gate for you.”

At this my husband sat up quickly from bed and looked at me with confusion written all over his face.

“She’s coming here?” He asked as soon as I hung up.

“Yeah. She was crying and Nick’s not with her.”

“Um…okay…so how long is she staying for?”

“I don’t know! I couldn’t ask her that, she was crying!” I snapped at him. I was a little taken back by his question, you’d think he would be more concerned about her welfare than how long she was staying with us.

Is the Other Woman Sometimes Needed?

By Mgcini Nyoni

A friend of mine – a female friend, one day told a stunned group of colleagues that the ‘small house’ (a married man’s girlfriend), actually strengthens marriages, contrary to popular belief that ‘small houses’ are home wreckers. She gave three reasons for her conclusions:

One: If a good man cheats, he compensates for his bad deed by treating his wife extremely well; a descending wife will realise that this is the time to put in all the requests and they will all be fulfilled. A lot of people will question why I am saying, if a good man cheats when almost everyone is agreed that a man who cheats on his wife is a bad man: The definition of a good man goes beyond whether he cheats or not and in most cases whether he cheats or not does not even factor into his qualification of good or bad.

The cheating moments in a man’s life provides a stimulus that is needed to bring excitement and happiness to a marriage that had reached a boring patch. It is however important to note that the ‘cheating moment’ magic only works in the hands of ‘good men’; men who know that the wife always comes first and who make it clear to the small house that she will always be second best. Take a deep breath and read again; the theory is not as crazy as you think.

Pregnancy and You - Where is the Man?

I was ohhing and ahhing over a picture of Titi Oyinsan on the cover of Pregnancy and You Magazine and was doubly impressed when I realized in the full article that it was a photo shoot with her husband, fellow radio presenter, Gbemileke Oyinsan. They've had their twins now [see pictures], so the pictures are probably a few months old.

The magazine photo shoot and cover article reminded me of a discussion over on Ginger's blog on whether pregnancy was an excuse for men cheating on their wives. Of course it's not, but it was noted how sometimes women make it easier for such men by excluding them from the whole process of pregnancy, birth and parenting. I used the example of baby showers, which in my experience is female exclusive. For that reason, I really appreciated this magazine for giving Gbemi the opportunity to shine as well, even if they didn't put him on the cover.

See more pictures below...

Movie Review - Place Beyond the Pines

The Place Beyond the Pines is a mid-range indie movie in the sense that it had some good actors though limited cinema release. The movie was essentially three movies in one; the first part was about Luke (played by Ryan Gosling), a stunt performer at a travelling circus who finds that he has fathered a son. This discovery radically alters his life's trajectory, turning him from vagrant to criminal, and it ultimately sets him up for a dramatic encounter with Avery, a young police officer who tries to capture him when he tries to evade arrest after a robbery gone horribly wrong.

The second part of the movie centers around Avery, and how he deals with the fallout of the encounter with Luke, while the last part fast-forwards to fifteen years after the second part, and the focus this time is on the children of Luke and Avery, who start up an unbalanced friendship, not knowing anything about the history between their fathers.

Atala's Review - I had heard quite a few good things about this movie before it came out, so I was quite looking forward to watching. However, I wasn't sure whether it would be shown in the cinemas in our area, because it was billed as kind of 'indie', and we don't usually get those shown. But the Movie God must have been smiling on me, because it just so happened that it was showing at our local cinema.

I found the first part of the movie the most touching and engaging. Sure, Luke goes off the rails and embarks on a life of crime (not that there was far to go, since he already lived life on the margins). But at his heart, he is driven to do this by a desire to become more of a father to the son he didn't know he had; it's as though seeing his son has made him realise how important it is to be a father.