Men May Commit Even if They Don’t Feel Love

A lot of people will be surprised to learn that men will sometimes commit to marry their girlfriends even though they are not necessarily romantically or sexually attracted to them. According to a study by Match.com,

Men are more likely than women to be willing to make a commitment to someone who has everything they are looking for in a partner, but whom they are not in love with (31% of men and 23% of women) and willing to make a commitment to someone who has everything they are looking for in a partner but whom they don't find sexually attractive (26% of men and 22% of women).

The truth is that even though men are often regarded as scared of marriage and commitment, they also have dreams of getting married some day and having a wife and kids. Also, men are just as susceptible to peer pressure as women are, and if they see all of their male friends and peers getting married, they will feel a desire to do the same. This is much more so when their current girlfriend is putting pressure on them to walk down the aisle.

Magazine Covers I'm Loving - Linda Ikeji on Mania

Linda Ikeji Covers Mania

Reprising her modelling days, Linda Ikeji is on the cover of StyleMania Magazine. The issue is tagged “The New Generation” and is out this month. She looks great!

Adventures of a Miss! Episode 12

I was still in shock in the kitchen and didn’t know what I was going to do. I might as well make my exit now before I am thoroughly embarrassed. Bolaji opened the door and went after Muhammad and since I could not hear what they were saying from the kitchen, I quickly ran upstairs. I grabbed my things, came back down hoping they were still outside so that I would be able to make a break for it through the back door.

Bolaji: “Where are you going?” he startled me because I didn’t see him in the corner of the dining room. “I’m going home” Shit I just remembered my car was still at Semi’s place. “I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t hear what Muhammad said to you so no need to act innocent.”

He sighs and holds his head in his laps and for a second I thought I heard crying so I went closer to him and tried to lift his head from his palm. “Bolaji, I am sorry, I swear I was going to tell you right before Muhammad rang the bell; I swear.”

He just kept staring at me, I wasn’t sure who he was angrier with, Muhammad or me but he was angry, very angry. “Toke, after all I have done for you, I honestly can’t believe it. Where you sleeping with him while we were dating?”

Couple Love - Desmond Elliot

Desmond Elliot and his wife Vicky

Desmond Elliot has been married to his wife, Vicky, for several years and they have four children named, Desmond, Denzel, Donald and Dona. Do you notice all the children's names start with D's? I often see that and think it's very cute :)

Though she rarely appears on the red carpet, Desmond’s wife works with her husband in the movie industry managing the affairs of his movie production company.

Oge Okoye-Duru on Jemima Magazine

Oge Okoye-Duru covers Jemima

Jemima magazine is a lifestyle magazine and this month, they have Oge Okoye on the cover, and inside she talks about her childhood and life as an adult. This edition of the magazine also focuses on the problems facing the girl child as well as the steps that parents can take to protect their little girls, with articles ranging from the dangers involved in dating men for money, to the endemic nature of spousal abuse.

The first picture made me laugh, but the complete photoshoot is OK. I love what the magazine is about too.

Lauryn Hill Sentenced to Three Months in Prison

Just last Friday, Lauryn Hill released a new song, writing on her Tumblr that it was something she "was ‘required’ to release immediately, by virtue of the impending legal deadline." Referring to her use of social media to publicise her song, she said she loved being able to reach people directly, but that in an ideal scenario, she would not have wanted to rush the release of new music.

She also referenced the tragic loss of former label mate Chris Kelly of Kris Kross, and wrote that she was "even more pressed to YELL" the song to "a multitude that may not understand the cost of allowing today’s unhealthy paradigms to remain unchecked!"

Lauryn Hill pleaded guilty last year to three counts of failing to file tax returns on more than $1.8 million between 2005 and 2007 and was to be sentenced today. According to CNN, she received a three month prison sentence, She must also pay penalties and taxes still owed, a $60,000 fine, serve a year on probation and possibly three months of home confinement.

Wesley Snipes is another celebrity among many that are found trying to evade taxes, deliberately not paying, or maybe they're simply ignorant of the tax system. I hope Lauryn Hill gets through this. Three months doesn't seem like too long...

Paul Okoye and the Paternity Issue

I wrote about the news of Paul Okoye's first child outside of marriage last month, asking why it seems so common among young Nigerians that young ladies get pregnant before marriage. But getting pregnant and going ahead to marry or continue a relationship with your man is a different matter from carrying your baby to term and being abandoned by the father.

Recent news as reported by Sahara Reporters suggest that this may be the situation Elshama Igbanoi finds herself in with Paul Okoye.

A few weeks after welcoming his first new born baby in Atlanta, P Square – who is also known as P2 – had another baby delivered for him in a London hospital by a former beauty pageant contestant. However, this time, P Square has refused to claim paternal responsibility for the baby boy.

Our sources said the new mother had been in touch with P2, but he had not been forthcoming beyond telling her that he plans to arrive in London for a DNA test to ascertain paternity. SaharaReporters spoke to the woman’s father, Benson Igbanoi, in Abuja. Mr. Igbanoi stated that his daughter was faithful to the musician. He also revealed that he had sent several emails to P Square concerning his daughter’s pregnancy for him, but had received no response.

Guess What The Hairy Snail is?

I have received dozens of messages on Facebook, Twitter and Email about my posts on oral sex, from calling my Nigerianness, faith or respectability in question, to giving or asking me more details on how to give good head, but I did not find any of them as funny as this twitpic someone RT to me on Twitter.

Indeed, it seems Nigerians, and even traditional types speaking in their local language, do know what oral sex is, even if they use a different vocabulary for it. The picture above is a screen grab from a Yoruba movie with subtitles. Let's overlook for a moment the way the actors are dressed, the whole hairy snail business, idk, but it got me choking on my drink, in a fun way sha, lol...

Who has heard that before, it was my first time :)

Marriage and the Age Question - Chris Brown and Rihanna

Chris Brown brought up the age and marriage question [see post - Ideal age to get married] when answering questions about his relationship with Rihanna. He said to 2dayFm,

“The way I look at it is… I’m always going to love that person, but people have differences, and people have different wants and needs.”
“At the end of the day she’s a young girl. I can’t really be focused on wife-ing somebody that young… and I’m young too.”
“I just got to step forward and be a man and be the best Chris Brown I can be instead of worrying about whoever else is going to be in my side pocket.”

Chris Brown is 24 and Rihanna is 25. I am of the opinion that he has a point, but after seeing Rihanna during her interview with Oprah, I think she's much more mature than most women her age, and it does seem she's ready to get married. Chris, maybe not so much.

What To Do When Your Husband is a Serial Cheater

This was the email I sent in reply to the lady who sent the Dear Myne - I don't know the man I married. I decided to share it here so others may read. Also, she needs names or contact details of sex addiction or couple and marriage therapists in the Lagos area. Thanks.

Each mail I get is sad, but this must be one of the most touching. I love and believe in marriage and it always breaks my heart to know some of us are sailing in rough waters. And this is even more touching because of your pregnancy. I really care and I wish I was there to give you a hug.

I will publish this tomorrow. On my part, I will say do not be so quick to think of divorce, especially for the sake of the baby. And from your story, this is the verified first time you have caught on to his cheating. It's unfortunate that it's so massive.

Ways forward - have an in-house separation coupled with counselling. This means that though you both continue to live together, there will be some things you don't do as a married couple. No more sex, and cut back on your outings together. And to be sure you're not punishing him, please talk a lot. It is clear you care for him so tell him that and ensure he understands that you want to work on the marriage to be better, and for him to find healing and peace.