Sunday, May 9, 2010

Balderdash! Word Verification Meme

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Some of you may have heard or played the word game Balderdash, well there's a blogger version. I first saw the Balderdash Word Verification meme played on this blog by the Petty Witter. It piqued my interest and after a few clicks I got to the originator, Sheila at Book Journey. When I read this on her blog, I thought someone had opened my head and written what they saw there, lol.

Ok… I admit it. I am a comment junkie. I love – love ♥ LOVE ♥ to read blogs, the discussions on books, author interviews, bookshelves, great bookish stories and adventures….
but along with loving to comment comes the ever dreaded endless… (dun dun dun dun…scary music) word verification.
I know it is a necessity… I get that. You leave a comment, chances are you going to be word verified. Yet being a comment junkie… it slows me down. So to make this a bit more enjoyable… I came up with a plan.

And her plan was the Balderdash word verification meme which has become quite popular that some bloggers do it weekly. For the month of May, I intend to host the meme every Monday. I am hoping you will play along with me so I will be accepting GUEST BLOGGERS! I hear some of you ask; What does that mean? How do you play? The answer is very simple indeed.

1. Write down all the word verifications you get while posting comments on other peoples blogs.
2. Pick your best five (or so) of them and come up with an authentic sounding definitions for them.

But to make this more exciting, I want you and everyone to get involved. So I have turned on my word verification. When you leave a comment, include the word Google throws at you and make up a definition for it. If you are given a real word, make up a more interesting definition, lol.

These are my own top 10 captchas and their funky definitions.

1. Jocontac: (n) A joke on a tack
(v)When you make a joke from a tack pin.

2. Garbio: A garbage bio. Look at it from three ways;
a) the biography of garbage
b) a biography that is garbage
c) biography of a garbage man.

3. Cavable: From the french word Ca'va. The reply is usually bien.
(n) one who can reply positively to the referenced question.

4. Fowlsway: Is this the sway of a fowl or it's way? I go with the first since we have catwalk right?
(n) A way in which a person's movement imitates that of a fowl.

5. Fingster: This gives me naughty ideas of what one can do with their fingers but I'll desist.
(v) To give someone the open palm with five fingers outstretched. You know like "waka"?

6. Jauntru: From the word Jaunt.
(n) A true life account of a person's jaunts in life.

7. Undenses: From the word dense - to make more stupid (yeah I said that, lol)
(v.tr) To make someone less stupid.

8. Dercobbl:
i - (v) To remove the cobbles on a street.
ii - (n) A handmade shoe

9. Zintux: A tuxedo of the highest order.

10. Ringbeau: This one is very obvious right? No?
(n) A beau who comes bearing a ring.

If none of the above words or meanings made any sense to you, then welcome to Balderdash! LOL.

I hope you all enjoyed the weekend and mother's day for those in the US. Have a great week everyone.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Naija Stories.Com - Blog Transition

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BLOG IN TRANSITION

As most of you know, I manage the site NaijaStories.com, a blog for collecting and sharing stories and writings by Nigerian Writers. It started out as a pilot to see what the interest was like. The plan was always to move to a a more permanent space when the time was right, I didn't expect that it would be so soon. Naija Stories has reached the limit of 100 authors set by blogger and we're now moving to our own server. This new site will allow us so many functionalities not available on blogger including a community, groups and forums and a way of rewarding writers and all those who are active on the site.

The new site will be up within 24 - 48 hours but in the meantime, the old blog can still be accessed through BLOGSPOT at http://naijafictionwriters.blogspot.com/.  When completed, the site will still retain the original domain name of www.naijastories.com, however, it may take a while for the servers and hosts to figure it all out. While we go through this process, we ask for your patience and understanding. Please bear with us and we apologize in advance for any inconveniences.

All registered authors on the blogspot will be moved to the new website within this time frame, most probably before the end of the weekend. Please check your registration emails and click on the link to log on. Remember to change your passwords and indicate your nickname and other required fields.

I appreciate everyone who has been a part of this. Thank you all.


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In other news, there is a proposal over on Cupid's Risk. Seaason two is winding down and things are beginning to speed up. This is a teaser...

“Iphey, the first day I saw you, I knew you were meant for me…” He paused as he saw Iphey frozen in fear, visibly shaking, he drew in a sharp breath and “…I know it has taken a while, me getting you to believe in me and what I am about…” he gazed steadily into her eyes, “…but even though I am not certain what the future holds, I know great things are in store for us, there is so much promise and so much greatness ahead of us, all we need to do is take each day as it comes trusting ourselves and trusting in God.”

Iphey smiled and seemed about to speak and then thought to herself, ‘This man is the man of my dreams, I am in such a wealthy place, my fears still speak, they tell me if I ever lost him, but would fall; my faith though speaks louder, it tells me this man was created just for me and that if I can just take God’s hands and trust him, we are in for the greatest adventure ever lived’ 
Iphey smiled and hugged Chinedu with everything she had in her slight frame.

He pulled away slightly after a short kiss and looked into her face. Iphey noticed he was avoiding looking into her eyes.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Nothing." He hedged.

"Nedu spit it out," she laughed. "I know you too well. What are you trying to hide from me?"

He laughed and finally met her gaze. Chinedu took a deep breath and took both her hands. "I did not plan to say this today or here or even this way..."

Iphey was confused. Was this the end? After the happy declarations of a few minutes ago? "Chinedu, what is it? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no, of course not!" He moved closer. "You said and did everything right..." His phone began to ring. He did not even look at it before switching it off. He paused again.

"Chinedu, please tell me. Whatever it is, just say it!"

"OK, OK." Chinedu took another deep breath. "I want to marry you Iphey, I want you to be my wife..."

Her lips were rounding open by this time. Iphey's breath came quick and fast, and she pressed both their hands under her breast as if to stop her racing heart...

..................

READ THE FULL STORY ON THE BLOG


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Have a nice weekend everyone.Anyone going to see a movie?

Iphey will you marry me? ...by Tisha and Myne

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Chinedu picked Iphey up at seven after work on a Friday evening. Iphey wore black pants, a burgundy camisole and black short sleeved classy jacket. Today was special and so it deserved the special concern. It was three months since she had got together with Chinedu and everyday was a revelation of how good they were together. She smiled to herself as she went to the ladies and slipped on silver filigree earrings, slid on some gloss and did her eye makeup sprinkling loose powder sparsely on her face.

Chinedu waited for her downstairs and she traipsed down in her heels and got into his car, smiling a hello and buckling her seatbelt as they headed for Surulere to one of the tasteful fast food places on Adeniran Ogunsanya way. They ordered and began chatting idly about their families, careers, hobbies and values, Iphey chatted on with no guile and Chinedu listened enraptured.

He murmured and added words that showed he was focused on the conversation as opposed to some of the other guys and richie wannabes she had been out with. He was not like most guys, he did not pretend to hear what she was saying and then launch into his own project and he actually listened to her. He must have a lot of practice she thought and then she stopped talking as she noticed he was watching her intently, different emotions moving across his face, too fast for her to decipher.

She stopped talking and laughed at Chinedu.

“What’s up? You are staring at me like…” she shook her head then waved her hand in front of her face “…I can’t explain the look.”

Chinedu glanced at her his gaze open and his look sincere.

“I am looking at you because…” he pausing swallowing, an Adam apple she hardly saw bobbing at his throat “I am humbled because I know that I could never have met you in twenty lifetimes if God did not lead you
to me”.

Iphey looked her Chinedu, blinked, looked at him again, she couldn't stop the tears that came to her eyes. She wanted to laugh but instead she just said, “you know you drive me crazy right?”

He just stroked the hand she laid on his thigh.

She smiled through the tears and blubbered, “when I think I have you figured, you find a way to break my defenses however small they are…”

“Iphey…”

“Wait, let me finish…” she blinked to clear her eyes. “I wanted to give you a chance but I needed to do it on my own terms…” she looked away like he caught her in a lie or something, “…with barriers so I could maintain a resemblance of safety. But every time I think I am safe, secure, you slam through my defenses like they're a pack of cards, disarming me with simple gestures, simple words."

"Listen to me..."

"No let me finish." Iphey shook her head. "I can’t but reveal all of me to you…” she sighed in exasperation “…you make it impossible for me to hold anything back from you”.

“Iphey…”

“Please, let me get it all off my chest, I have feelings for you. I fought it with all I had like I do everything else, I looked for everything, every reason why I couldn’t be with you, I counseled me, gave me all the logical equations that should make sense but it all failed and I am afraid…” she shook visibly “…I am in love with you.”

Chinedu could not keep quiet after that declaration. “Iphey, I love you too. Sometimes I feel it so much it scares me. That was what kept me coming back to you even at those early stages you were so busy pushing me away. I am in love with you too and I promise to do everything within my power to keep your heart safe.”

Iphey wiped away the tears that had started dripping again. “Every passion I feel is reserved for you alone,” she murmured her eyes glittering, her gaze was trapped in Chinedu’s.

Chinedu laughed and said, “Iphey, I want to grow old with you, I may not be perfect but be reassured that I love you more than my life.”

Iphey laughed and then she murmured “I can be so silly and fussy sometimes…” she muttered looking down and then she gazed into his eyes. “I am not usually like this, you bring out the unusual in me.”

“No Iphey…” Chinedu protested as he gazed into her eyes reassuring her “I love you cheerful or crying, it’s an adventure getting to know you and love all the different parts of you.”

“Chinedu…”

“Iphey”

Iphey turned her gaze on Chinedu and he froze in place, her heart slammed in her chest as she noticed the effect she had on him; and she wondered at the power he had over her. There was this great upheaval inside her and she knew that come what may, she would always be connected to Chinedu. There was no stopping this and no running away any longer; it was time she faced up to it.

“Chinedu, everyday with you is an adventure and it’s the ride of my life, I don’t know what tomorrow holds but I know this, God has got us…”

“Iphey, the first day I saw you, I knew you were meant for me…” He paused as he saw Iphey frozen in fear, visibly shaking, he drew in a sharp breath and “…I know it has taken a while, me getting you to believe in me and what I am about…” he gazed steadily into her eyes, “…but even though I am not certain what the future holds, I know great things are in store for us, there is so much promise and so much greatness ahead of us, all we need to do is take each day as it comes trusting ourselves and trusting in God.”

Iphey smiled and seemed about to speak and then thought to herself, ‘This man is the man of my dreams, I am in such a wealthy place, my fears still speak, they tell me if I ever lost him, but would fall; my faith though speaks louder, it tells me this man was created just for me and that if I can just take God’s hands and trust him, we are in for the greatest adventure ever lived’

Iphey smiled and hugged Chinedu with everything she had in her slight frame.

He pulled away slightly after a short kiss and looked into her face. Iphey noticed he was avoiding looking into her eyes.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Nothing." He hedged.

"Nedu spit it out," she laughed. "I know you too well. What are you trying to hide from me?"

He laughed and finally met her gaze. Chinedu took a deep breath and took both her hands. "I did not plan to say this today or here or even this way..."

Iphey was confused. Was this the end? After the happy declarations of a few minutes ago? "Chinedu, what is it? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, no, of course not!" He moved closer. "You said and did everything right..." His phone began to ring. He did not even look at it before switching it off. He paused again.

"Chinedu, please tell me. Whatever it is, just say it!"

"OK, OK." Chinedu took another deep breath. "I want to marry you Iphey, I want you to be my wife..."

Her lips were rounding open by this time. Iphey's breath came quick and fast, and she pressed both their hands under her breast as if to stop her racing heart.

"Iphey will you marry me?"

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Well, the story is rolling along quickly isn't it? I love the direction of the closing of the series but I have to warn you that this is the eye of the storm. Dangerous events are brewing I tell you. Anyways, leave your comments and vote for the next chapter.

Our main contributor is Tisha. You all know Tisha, she has contributed before and this is another collabo with her. I have to say she is improving very quickly. Watch out for that talent.

Till the next time, have fun peeps. Enjoy the coming weekend.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Is there a good or happy marriage?

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So a lot has been said recently in some blogging quarters on this issue of marriage, and I have decided to chip in my bit. Some may say I can't write about it because I'm fairly new to this business but that has it's own advantages too. The major one being that I'm not too far gone to remember what it was like BM (Before Marriage) and I'm not so jaded by the cumulative responsibilities that come with the institution to have lost my faith, lol. Anyway, let me not go on, read the article and tell me what you think, the complete write-up is up on the Love and Relationships section of Afrikan Goddess.

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Beauty they say is in the eye of the beholder, however, when it comes to marriage, a good one is defined by those who live it. See, as a writer I observe a lot. I have come to believe in nuances. There is rarely any black or white in relationships. I have observed that a lot of marriages have many shades of gray in between. I have also observed that there is no one size fits all. I read a lot of articles and can say some are timeless pieces, seeing that they’re on marriage.

Now I am a married woman, my mother is a married woman as are so many women, friends, colleagues and mentors. So while I appreciated the humor in some of the write-ups on marriage, it rubs me the wrong way that some writers will be propagating the idea that so many women are usually lying whenever they say they have a happy marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to rubbish any article, I have no doubt that they’re very valid in their own right. After all, there is still almost a 50% rate of divorce in USA, the country I live in and more and more divorces and separation in Nigeria and other countries in Africa.

It is also not far-fetched to think that some of the women who end up divorced spoke of their marriages in glowing terms a few years, maybe months and even days before their marriages crashed. The question to ask though is how we can be sure that these women and even those who remain in their marriages were, or are, lying? Now that would be a very difficult one to answer I tell you. The thing is, a marriage you as an observer would call an unhappy marriage, may have its happy moments you may not be privy to. It may be those happy moments the women refer to when they say those things these articles consider public lies. Who are we, the outsiders to call them liars then?

I know that in the same vein, this means that it can be said that the happy marriages also have unhappy moments. Do you think I would deny that? No way! LOL…of course there are ‘down’ moments in every marriage. There are those times when you feel lonely, when you feel crowded, when you feel misunderstood, when you ARE misunderstood, when you agree to disagree with your spouse and even disagree to agree. Yes, there are those moody days when you blame all and everything including your marriage for your misery. But this does not negate the general happy state of the marriage. It also does not mean that your marriage or your spouse was the cause of the unhappiness. Let’s face it, you also felt like that when you were single, whether you are a student, a worker, or in between jobs.

I used the divorce statistic earlier and everyone seems to like quoting that 50%. What you will not find so common is people referring to the other 50%. Yes, we find it easy to forget that more than half of the people who get married do not get divorced. Most of that 50% remain together and celebrate their 20, 30, 40 and even 50 years of happy marriages. Yes I said happy marriages. If we are so quick to assume that all the ones that got divorced did so because they were unhappy, we should extend the same courtesy to those that remain together, no? What is good for the goose and all, LOL.

But I didn’t write this article just to rant. I wanted to respond to some of the issues raised by marriage bashers and make some points of my own about the mostly negative perspectives we usually see in the media about marriage. One thing I will say here is that you do have to marry the right person for you to reap the benefits of a good marriage. I did not say or mean a perfect person because none of us is perfect but it has to be someone we can cooperate with, someone we trust, someone we see in our future, whom we can be honest and open in communication with and best and over all, someone we love.


Tis is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So help me God.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Charmer and Danger! ...by Happy BBB

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Ngozi whisked the eggs steadily, slowly adding butter and sugar, swiftly turning them in, it was a very calming process, her mind wandered...

Since Iphey told her about James she hadn't been able to sleep well, had become easily distracted, even though she had also felt a bit relieved , a sense of closure because not knowing what happened to James had been tearing her apart. She had barely managed to fight off his relatives who had been adamant about declaring him dead.

Ngozi sighed again, she really needed someone to confide in. Iphey had been so busy lately, since she had gotten back with Chinedu two weeks ago so there really wasn't a good time to talk to her about it. She couldn't speak to her mum because she knew it would just escalate things, her mum was still with her throwing a spanner in the works for Otunba. But the truth was that who she really needed to speak to was James, to ask him why he left, explain to her why she didn't have a choice in the matter, how he could just walk out and leave hs son without a father. It had been a quick knee-jerk reaction to draw closer to Otunba but she had changed her mind since then. His proposal had clouded her mind coupled with James's continued aloofness.

She remembered the way they had met, back in Port Harcourt. Then her baking was truly a hobby. She baked for her mother's friends usually and only charged money if the job was really big to earn some spare cash. That day she had been baking a cake for a customer who she had never met. He had called three days previous, said he'd gotten a referral from one of her usual customers and he wanted a cake for his mums birthday. Usually she didn't take orders without at least a weeks's notice, but there had been something about that voice, so warm and friendly, the way he gently pleaded and nudged her to do his will, she wondered what type of face would go with that voice.

The birthday was later that day and as she completed the icing on the cake, she smiled in anticipation of finally meeting him. They had spoken twice more on the phone after his first call and he had confirmed that he would pick it up himself.She was expecting him in four hours so she had just about enough time to finish with the cake and get herself ready.

At exactly 5pm her doorbell rang, an hour earlier than planned, the icing was all on but not ready to go but she was in even worse shape. She caught a glance at herself at the mirror on the corridor, she looked a mess, she always looked scattered when baking. Her heart hammered in her chest but she didn't want to keep him waiting.

James was at the door, he hoped she had been able to bake the cake in three days. He had been really desperate and had pulled out all his charms in getting her to assist him. She had sounded stern on the phone but at the end of the phone call, she was laughing really hard. He remembered her laugh now, it had sounded like a happy song, it made him smile thinking about it.

Ngozi opened the door to a striking face, he looked just as he had sounded -a charmer- he was tall dark and handsome -a cliché- but that was all that came to mind looking at him, his smile completed the whole look and she felt her heart skip a beat.

Wow, she thought, that hadn't happened in a while.

"Hi," he said, "I am James, we've spoken on the phone, about the cake?"

"Yes, yes" Ngozi replied, "please come in."

"I am so sorry for the inconvenience, it was a last minute thought," James said.

"Oh no worries, you are definitely paying for it," she replied jokingly. "The cake is just about finished. I'll put it in a box for you soon as I return to the kitchen. I am sure your mum will be pleasantly surprised, wish I could see her face when you give her, I love surprises."

"You could, you know, she is having a small get-together, you could come if you wanted to."

Ngozi smiled, "its so nice of you to offer, but I couldn't possibly go. I am not even dressed and I have to clean up, I can't impose."

James insisted "You wouldn't be, and I could help clean up while you dress. After all it's my fault, I gave an order on short notice and now I'm here earlier then we scheduled." He smiled at this point sending her heart to skipping, "Also you would find that I'm a domesticated man."

Ngozi refused, "thanks for the offer but I wouldn't want to crash your mother's party."

"I insist, she wouldn't mind. In fact I am sure she would want to meet you after tasting this cake, and it'd be great for your business." James added.

"OK, but this is just a hobby." Ngozi had smiled, admitting defeat, "I'd go, let me just freshen up," she had left him in the kitchen after showing him where the utensils are kept.


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James washed up after his simple meal, a scowl staining his face. He forced himself to smile by thinking of Ngozi and his son Obi. His hope of seeing them again soon was being boosted by his new friend Habib. He had confided in him about his woes of the past and the young man had promised to help. He said he had friends in the police who would soon be on the case. James rinsed his plate reminded of the day he met Ngozi. He smiled to himself, just like that day, he had a feeling that something was about to change in his life.

He couldn't remember all he had said that day seven years ago but there had something about the lady he'd first seen at the door that appealed to him, she looked so adorable in her stained apron and tussled hair. With the facade of a cake, their mothers had schemed for them to meet each other and he had fallen for it without knowing. By the time they both found out about the match-making, it had been a moot point. They were in love with each other. They got married six months after that day and it had been bliss all the way till he had spoiled it with his own hands. He cursed the day he decided to try his hand at gambling. Thank God he had learnt his lesson before it was too late. Or was it? His family was still out there...

A knock broke through his consciousness.

"Oga James," the little boy that lived in the room opposite said, "one man say make I give you this." The prepubescent chap handed him a thin envelope and scampered off.

James closed the door and opened the enveloped. Dread washed over him even before he knew what was inside. He had never received parcels since he moved into this area of Ajegunle. Did this mean they had found him again? Just as he was about to hope again?

The five pictures sliding out of their cage, missed his waiting hands and scattered across the floor. There were pictures of him in his borrowed taxi, him and Iphey in the taxi, him and Iphey at the entrance to her house and then a couple of just Iphey, at work and at home.

James staggered back till he collapsed on the only furniture in the room apart from the thin mattress on the floor. The chair creaked underneath his slight weight as he leaned his head between his knees. The envelope was now also on the floor. It was only then he noticed the writing paper peeping out. He pulled at it quickly. Scrawled in pencil were the following words.

YOU AND YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND WILL BE IN TROUBLE IF YOU DON'T GET OUR MONEY IMMEDIATELY!


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That's it folks. It seems things are still going to continue between Ngozi and James. It seems none of the contributors wanted Otunba in the picture, oh well. BUT! Did anyone see what I saw? Iphey is in Danger! Who gave James enemies the idea that she was his girlfriend, how did they find him and more important, how did they find her? Leave your comments and vote for who you want to hear from in the next chapter. Don't forget to check back always.

Our contributor is HappyBBB of WHO I AM!!!!! Her name already gives us an idea of who she is but her last post on the ten things I love meme sheds even more light.

"1) Smiles: i am a smiling person, i always smile that's my personality, its easy to know when am down you wont see a frown, there just wont be a smile, my brother calls me ismaila... hehehehe,
2) My blackberry: its my blogging and twitting machine, i am addicted to it i swear down, my mum has threatened to seize it times without number, what was i doing when i didn't have one,
3) Love: i totally love love, love stories,movies , novels,songs, they all speak to me, i love watching people fall in love, hearing people speak about love, i love weddings and d smile on the brides face, i love awwwwing and ooohhhing, i love giving love out, making TY feel loved, i love the four letter word in its entirety"

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Abandoned (BlogFest)

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So Lilah Pierce of The Good Grief writer is hosting a BlogFest for the The Last Line.

Endings have always been very important to me. Whether its the end of a book, chapter, scene, or even a paragraph, I always try to make sure its a good one. I usually want something that baits the reader; something that has a good kick to it. I had never put that much thought into what I did for my endings, until people pointed it out.

So, now I'm curious to see how others write endings. Do you like to end things intense and serious? Or maybe light and funny? Are you a cliffhanger addict? Or do you not even think about it at all? Let's find out.
This is my entry below, a short story I have shared earlier this week on Naija Stories.

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The last time I saw my mother was when I was in Junior Secondary School at fourteen years old. So I have not seen her for the better part of my life. Yet the events of that day were so clear in my mind that it seemed like only yesterday. Another thing that seemed not to have diminished with time was the hurt and pain that followed that last meeting.

We were having an Economics lesson with Mr. Ogbonna, the only young male teacher in the all-girls school. Midway through the lesson, a senior student walked into the class to speak with the teacher.

"Belle, you have a visitor at the principal's office."

A visitor ke? It was still Wednesday and visiting Sunday wasn't till the following week anyway. Not that I was expecting anybody to come. My parents were too busy quarrelling with each other to remember me most of the time.

When I saw my mother seated in the school reception chatting amiably with one of the vice principals, my face split with a hesitant smile. It had been over two months since I saw her last.

"Good afternoon Ma," I greeted responding awkwardly with one arm to her tight embrace. I replied in the affirmative as she asked about my welfare and how I was getting on with my studies. The walk to where her car was parked took just a couple of minutes. There was a strange man in the car reading a newspaper but she didn't introduce him. Still he was too well dressed to be her driver.

"How come you were able to come and visit? I asked. She usually found it difficult to take time off work and sometimes worked weekends as well. Maybe that was to be expected of a bank manager but I had always suspected that she worked such long hours to reduce the amount of time she spent at home. Especially when my dad was there, but that also meant we got to spend less time together than I would have liked. With me in the boarding house and seeing little of her during the holidays, we had drifted apart. Still I really loved her.

"Belle, I have something important to tell you. Your father doesn't know I'm here, he wouldn’t have agreed for me to come if he knew. So I think it is best this way."

I remained quiet. When was the last time they had both agreed on something?

"I can't live with your father anymore Belle. It is just not working out. If I remain in that house, one of us might end up committing murder."

I looked into her eyes and when I fully realized how serious she was I blurted, "But you're my mother and father, parents live together. I know father can be annoying sometimes but you have to stay. You have to stay for my sake."

"It's not as easy as that my child. I really have to go."

“But mother I need you. I want you to stay please?”

"Belle I'm sorry, truly I am. When I married your father, I didn't know it would end like this."
"But it doesn't have to! Who will be my mother when you go?" I interrupted the tears still streaming. I rebuffed her efforts to hug me or wipe my face with a hanky.

"One day when you're grown up you'll understand Belle. I'm leaving for America next month and will be settling there."

My tears dried at that. "You're going to live in another country? That means I'll never see you again!"

She did her best to reassure me, "You'll certainly see me. I can pay for you to pay us visit at least once a year. You remember how you enjoyed the trip to see Auntie Rose when you were ten. We'll have so much fun exploring my new place." She stopped and stole a look at the man in the car who I noticed was looking at us now. "Obike will be with us."

"Who is he?” I asked belligerently.

"He will be your new dad and we'll be together when you visit..."

I cut her off mid speech with a scream. "I don't want a new dad; I don't want to visit you anywhere! I want our family to remain as it is now." The tears were pouring in torrents now.
"You'll like him when..." She tried again to hold me but I shoved her off harshly.

“Never!” I wasn’t going to plead any more. The curses that followed were bitter. She was married to my father. She was my mother and had the duty to remain with me till I was grown up. “If you leave me, I would never forgive you or speak with you ever again. And divorce is a sin; God would certainly punish you if you leave us...”

“Belle stop it, you cannot say such things…”

"Then stay and make me stop!” She moved closer and I backed off. “Don't touch me! I hate you and I hate him!”

I ran off blindly and though we spoke a couple more times, that was the last I saw of her.
My father became even more morose after she left and started drinking at a point. I was angry at him for allowing or making my mother desert me and took it out on him and the lots of women who filed in and out of our lives. None lasted more than a year. We only made our peace several years ago after I graduated from University and started work in his legal chambers. I am happy we did because he died last year leaving me an orphan. Almost.

Yes my mother was still alive though we had not spoken in two decades. I didn't know her or care for her. She meant nothing to me after she chose another way of life over me. I heard through the family grapevine that she married Obike after they moved and as time went on, had two more children. She sent a few letters over the years but I never read them, tore them as soon as I received them.

Why did she have to come back? It had been so much simpler when she lived in the United States. Whatever she has to tell me, I did not want to hear. These thoughts ran through my head as I stared without emotion at the pattern of the carpet between my sandaled feet. Why am I thinking about these things you ask? Why now?

You see my mother is back in the country. In fact she is right here before me. But the more shocking news is that she has terminal cancer. She only has a few weeks at the most to live. God has to be playing a very sick joke on me. Or maybe she's really being punished for abandoning me.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

My angel (Poem)

Posted in:
I dream the ringing up
From the depths of my wishes
Yet when I listen closely
The phone is really beeping
Are you really calling?
Or am I night dreaming again?
It is definitely not a figment
Of my fertile imagination
I’m filled with joy unspeakable
As I hear you through the earpiece
The happiness is unstoppable
And I break into a smile
A flush spreads over my skin
Your cool voice upon my senses
Brings relief to my scattered thoughts
There is no more need to worry
As above all these things is Love
There’s naught else to do
But to put a halo on you
You’re my angel...

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I can't wait for TGIF and the weekend, what about you? Enjoy a poem for today and check out some blogs from the right while at it. See you soon with something from the WIP.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Office Politics: The Plans of Mice and Men 2...by Myne and Tisha

Posted in:
"So where were you?" Funmi bit out striding angrily out of Ayo's office. I left a file on your desk earlier this morning and now I cannot find it!"

After the discovery of Funmi and Bisi's alliance this morning, it was easy to guess how the missing file and all the other ones in the past including other different things that should have gotten her into trouble happened.

"I did not see any file on my desk," Iphey replied as she fell into step behind.

"How will you? Going out for lunch and staying two hours!" Funmi turned around and glared at her. She felt like throttling the other girl's neck. Bisi had given her the lowdown on their confrontation and she was mad as hell. Imagine the small girl, after displacing her friend, she had the guts to stand up to her! Well Bisi could blame herself for trying to befriend her in the first place. See where that had gotten her.

"It wasn't like..." Iphey began.

"Pschewwwww," Funmi hissed. By now they were standing in front of her office. "Just find that file!" She snapped testily and then left Iphey standing there. She stalked in and slammed the door behind her.

Iphey walked to the water dispenser and pressed out some water in a white plastic cup and headed to her desk. She walked gingerly since it seemed even her steps annoyed some people to no end. Iphey laughed inside, her time in the ladies before searching for Funmi showed that she was still looking great. But more than that she felt great inside. After the last few hours, she was in no mood for more drama today.

It was like the day had flown by, so many things had happened, one revelation after another. After Bisi, she had shrugged it off to focus on better things and something beautiful had really come her way. She sashayed as behind her mind’s eye she could see Chinedu, tall, dark and handsome. TDH was a dime a dozen but Chinedu stood out from the rest, his features were imprinted behind her eyes so even if she closed her eyes, she could still see him and it was weird but it seemed like they were connected.

Iphey smiled. She was working alright, but only just managing to concentrate. Half of her mind was on Chinedu. She could not even remember what the reasons for her not wanting to go out with him in the first place were. Yes, he had a shady history but he had showed himself to be an honorable man so far and those were the qualities that really mattered to her.

“A penny for your thoughts,” Tunde from marketing teased her, you are grinning like the cat that got the cream."

Iphey laughed. Tunde thought it a contagious laughter that demanded for all who heard it to laugh also. He grinned widely at her.

“Are you sure you are not getting it somewhere?” he finally asked a quizzical look on his face.

“I don’t do premarital sex if that’s what you are asking?” Iphey laughed again, “I just don’t see why you can’t be happy and in love in a relationship without premarital sex?”

"You look like someone has given you some good loving," he insisted with a wink.

“Actually I am just happy o, no particular reason, God’s been good.”

“Uh hmm…tell me...”

Funmi was passing by and gave them a dirty look. "Tunde, Ayo wants you, now!"

Tunde stood to attention, blinked at Iphey and marched off.

Funmi did not pause in her tracks. She was walking with Bisi, who kept her face strictly ahead. A few paces behind them, Tola for Master Card section gave Iphey a smile and a wave. Iphey smiled back and went back to the files before her.

Iphey smiled to herself as she relived the kiss with Chinedu in the car. Her toes curled in her pumps and began to tingle. She considered whether to call him or wait for him to call first. She didn't want to make any hasty decision but it was not as if she was planning to marry him in the next month, she was just going to give him a chance to see if they could make it work between themselves.

She remembered what she discussed with Aisha a couple of weeks ago. After they had discussed finding Bisi in his apartment, the conversation had diverged to general talk.

“Aisha, most girls are hasty to get into serious or permanent relationships. For me, I have now decided that I'll give the guy a test-drive…”

Aisha’s eyes went wide, “Do you mean…?”

Iphey grinned mischievously, “No, not the way people usually mean a test-drive. I mean a time frame in which I check out the guy and see if I like him on all levels and can check if we are on the same levels when it comes to values and compatibility of personalities.”

Aisha smiled and said, “That’s what most people do but they define it with different terms." They both laughed before Aisha continued. "As long as you don't end up in a marriage of convenience.”

Iphey sighed and said, “I could never do a marriage of convenience, I would drive someone crazy.”

She smiled again and set her pen down. If she did end up with Chinedu, it would be nothing like that. She was already halfway in love with him. Something moved beside her and when she focused her vision, she watched her boss, Ayo seeing off a slinky lady. On his way back, he caught her eye and leered. When he saw that he had got her full attention, he stopped, rubbed his hands and licked his lips. Iphey turned away quickly. Did he think she found those gestures attractive? They were a disgusting turn-off. She hissed quietly.

Out of the corner of her eye, Iphey spied Funmi striding towards him. Let them sort themselves out and leave her out of it, she prayed. At least her adversaries will be reduced at the office when Bisi got sent forth on Friday. Now that she knew Funmi was out to get her sacked, she just had to be more careful with her work, keep her head down.

She worked steadily, yet before long her mind was on Chinedu again. She was tired of doing the battle of not thinking about Chinedu, so she let her mind linger on him, she had better do something about this. She day dreamed about the kiss all over again. His lips on hers, their tongues meshing, his hands on her waist, holding her tightly. Iphey sighed.

And to think she had been dreaming about him without knowing until this morning. That should have told her she would meet him. It was a course-mate in college who said that "when you start dreaming about a guy, love is either setting the wheels rolling or about to blot him from your horizon". The first was possible, the first had proved impossible so far. It looked like Chinedu had come to stay. She was happy it was no more all in her mind, where he’d been loitering all day and night for the past couple of weeks. She looked forward to seeing him later in the evening when he came to pick her up.

She asked herself whether she had time to call and tell Aisha about Chinedu, and that they were finally going to give it a go. She also wanted them to talk so she would have all the back ground information she needed. She needed advice about the way to proceed with this guy since she believed he was something special. Her mom was going to be so happy but she herself had to be sure that was not making a mistake. The case of James was still pending.

“Here you go.”

Iphey snapped out of her reverie and looked up. Jane stood before her, hand outstretched. She was holding a file.

"The shark didn't know that I saw her hiding it in the bulk counter room. No mind her, you hear?" Jane smiled as she handed the file over.

"Thank you so much." Iphey clapped quietly as the receptionist walked away.

God was on her side sha, all her enemies will be scattered for sure! He had guided her every step so definitely. His hand was evident on every part of her life. It would all work out fine with Chinedu too, all she needed to do was put one step in front of the other and commit it into his hands…


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That's it folks. The plans of mice and men will always come to nought when you keep your nose clean. Funmi and her conniving, I just wonder why she no go mind her own sef? LOL. Please vote on who you want for the next chapter which is coming up on Sunday and please leave your comments too, thanks.

This was a collabo I did with Tisha of I LOVE BECAUSE I CAN. Tisha says she's "pretty and intelligent but not street smart". I want to add that she's also talented. I love her poems. Check this out from the last one.

"I am restless
i wanna kick some one
i wanna scream, shout
i am restless
i want to let go
and just jump and shout
gone shopping
it doesn't take off
the pressure like
when i was younger..."

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Office Politics: The plans of mice and men...by Afronuts

Posted in:
He sat behind his mahogany desk starring into space, his chin nestled in his palms. His eyes were wide open but his vision was nil; he was lost in dreamland.

He could see her; young, beautiful and promising. Everything about her enchanted him. Her smile was unique and different from what he’d ever seen on the other women around him. Yet with all the appeal she exuded, she seemed more innocent than a catholic nun. And like the sugar ant, he was trapped by this alluring innocent sweetness.

He was a man imprisoned by the unholy passion that reeked of lust and desire for a woman he had no right to own.

But in his world, the story was different. He had some degree of power and since power could corrupt, he was a very willing candidate

The Intercom on Ayo’s desk suddenly buzzed sharply startling him out of his reverie. The dreamy image of Iphey he had beheld suddenly faded into the obscurity of his subconscious.

He tapped at the intercom button, more out of anger than of urgency.

‘Yes?’

‘Sir, you have a visitor, a Miss Giwa from Abuja.’

Ayo’s mind did a brain check. He couldn’t recollect anybody by that name. His mind raced with suspicion. As a man of many escapades, he had to be careful with visits from females. Not every woman that romped with him should get to visit him at work.

He got up and strolled to his door and peeped through the pigeon hole. There was a gorgeously dressed woman standing at the secretary’s desk but he could only see her back view.

‘Sir? Are you there?’ The secretary’s voice came through the intercom again.

He hurried back to the table and tapped the intercom button.

‘Let her in.’

He couldn’t tell who she was but from the ‘good look’ of things through his pigeon hole, he was willing to take the risk.

The door swung open and Ayo was awed as he beheld the feminine spectacle that waltzed into his office.

Her svelte figure bore a body fitting red dress with rosy frills at the edges which stopped at her knees, exposing a set of long caramel tanned legs.

She wore a long hair that sat gracefully on her shoulders; her face looked spotless and fresher than a baby’s butt.

She wore no make-up except lip gloss. From the look of it, she didn’t even need make-up. That would be an overstatement.

She smiled, closed the door, walked up slowly to his desk and peered down at him through her sparkling eyes, well enhanced by contact lenses.

‘Hello Ayo.’

‘Umm…hello?’ he muttered, standing up to receive her hand shake, while trying hard to recollect where on earth he had met her.

‘It’s me, Jennifer.’

Jennifer Giwa.

Her name suddenly triggered something in Ayo’s head as memories came flooding his mind like a tsunami; the day he met her through a friend at a conference organized by the CBN two years ago at Abuja, how she had seduced him at the after party only to leave him hanging at the table because of some important call she got that required her to go to the ladies; how he had waited till the party was over and she never came back.

The mind update finished and he came back to the real world.

‘Ha! Jennifer. What a pleasant surprise. How did you find me?’

He had every reason to be angry about how he was ditched two years ago but her smile and bewitching eyes had an effect too powerful to neither ignore nor allow any other sentiment.

‘I’ll always find you. I have connections. And you gave me your card, remember?’

She came round his table and stood very close to his chair. An exotic perfume assailed his nostrils. Her hand went to his chin and caressed it softly.

Ayo felt his armpits go wet as he totally lost his composure.

‘I missed you.’ Her soft voice was taunting the hormonal noises in him.

‘You left me behind…’

‘Shhh…I know and I’m sorry’

She sat on his lap while still holding onto his chin.

Ayo’s heart skipped several times. A woman’s acceptance of fault and apology coupled with this smooshy drama was like sweet wine to his soul.

‘So what brings you here?’ He was still able to summon up the common sense to find out why she came. His brain was trying hard to be rational against the building rage of sensual adrenalin.

‘I need your help with a loan. Can I count on you?’

By this time she had drawn her face so close to his, he felt himself beginning to loose control. She leaned closer, her breath fanned gently against his face, her lips almost brushing against his…when the intercom buzzed.

Ayo’s fist slammed at the button, heavily pissed at the interruption.

‘What?’ He half yelled at the intercom.

‘Sir! The operations manager is on her way to your office!’ his secretary’s voice came whispering through the speaker. Thanks to the regular tipping he gave her to serve as his lookout for trouble.

Like a jackrabbit smoked out of its hole, Ayo came to his senses, pushed Jennifer off his lap and quickly ushered her into the toilet.

‘What’s going on?’ she asked taken aback by his sudden reaction.

‘I promise you dear. I’ll get you the loan. But I need to settle some matters with people that might be a pain in the neck. Just hide here for a few minutes and keep quiet. Trust me, okay?’

She wasn’t sure she understood all he had just said but she very well understood the part about getting the loan.

‘Okay. If you say so.’ She walked gracefully into the restroom.

Ayo closed the door just as Funmi came into the office.

She was already halfway into the office when she stopped dead in her tracks, her nose twitched.

‘What’s that smell?’

‘Excuse me?’

‘Is that a woman’s perfume I perceive?’

‘So? Are you the only female staff that wears a perfume?’

'Are you sure that girl is not in here?'

'What girl?'

Funmi waved her hand in annoyance.

‘You know who I'm talking about. I actually came to complain about her…’

‘Iphey?’

‘Yes, Iphey. I’m getting tired of that girl. She’s so incompetent. She doesn’t perform up to expectation...’

‘Would that be…your own expectation?’

‘Are you saying my own opinion doesn’t count? Do you know that she took off for lunch over an hour ago and is not back yet?'

Trust Funmi to always answer a question with a question, two in this instance. Ayo smiled and looked at her, he had to think of a way to distract her. He looked her over from the nicely weaved hair that stopped at her ears atop a set of cute gold earrings to the well dry cleaned trouser suit and finally to the shiny black high heels on her feet.

‘You look lovely today.’

Funmi was cut off balance by the remark. It was the last thing she expected.

‘Why…thank you.’

Ayo moved closer and stroked his hand down her arm. When she leaned towards him, he straightened and adjusted his tie.

‘You know I like you Funmi but on this one, I’m sorry. Your opinion doesn’t count. Besides you and Bisi, others seem to think otherwise of Iphey. They find her indispensable.’

Funmi drew back and sighed heavily. She looked at the floor, then looked back at him, hurt shone on her face.

‘Ayo, why are you doing this to me?’

‘Excuse me?’

‘You used to be so loving and compassionate…’

‘And you used to be single.’

‘So? Are you not married too?’

‘It doesn’t work the same way.’

‘Why should it be…’ She suddenly stopped. She thought she heard something in the bathroom.

‘Funmi, this convo is over. Now if you’ll excuse me…’ Ayo began but she cut him off.

‘Is there someone in there?’ She was already walking towards the restroom.

Ayo maintained his calm but his mind raced. He had to stop her from going any further.

But it was too late as Funmi’s hand rested on the door knob and turned it.

Ayo closed his eyes tightly as if it would shield him from the impending fireworks.

When he opened them, she was still at the door turning the knob. It was locked.

‘The door is locked’, she said in a tone that demanded an explanation.

‘It’s under repairs and fumigation, you probably heard the rat in there.’

Her hand quickly left the door. She hated rats and the mere mention of it.

‘I thought you were hiding Iphey in there.’

Ayo burst into laughter.

‘Stop it. It’s not funny.’

The intercom buzzed. Ayo hit the button.

‘Yes?’

‘Sir, Iphey’s coming! She’s looking for Oga Funmi’ The secretary’s whisper came loud and clear.

‘Did she say Iphey?’ Funmi asked.

‘Yep. She did.’

She gave a flustered look, refusing to meet his eyes. She now felt embarrassed that she might have overreacted. She turned and walked to the door.

‘Good thing she watches out for us.’ She said.

‘Us?’ Ayo questioned but she was out the door before he could get a reply. He heard her dialogue briefly in her usual nastiness with Iphey outside the door. Then they were gone.

He suddenly realized there were beads of sweat on his forehead and mopped them rapidly.

For a brief moment, the thought of Iphey came to his mind again. Funmi wanted her out of the picture, out of this branch or sacked for some flimsy reason but he wasn’t going to let that happen. Funmi had served her purpose and was married now. He needed a replacement and Iphey was the perfect and even better fit.

He would handle all this later. For now he had other pressing matters.

He knocked on the restroom door.

‘You can come out now.’

He heard the lock turn and Jennifer came out.

She was smiling. She had heard all the drama.

‘You’re a bad boy. Is that how you trick women?’

‘Come on. Not all women, like fingers, are equal.’

‘By the way, thanks for locking the door. I never thought of it’, he said placing himself back in his chair.

‘I might look gentle but I’m not a stupid chick’, she replied stroking his face with her well manicured fingers.

‘Now, where were we?’


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So our contributor Afronuts decided to tell us about Funmi but from the perspective of the branch manager Ayo. I found this hilarious, and I can tell you from personal experience that there are some womanizers like this guy. What can I say, in offices, BEWARE. lol...There will be no votes today since I already have a follow up but check back on Tuesday for the next chapter.

KUSH or Afronuts of the Kush Chronicles is a creative writer based in Lagos Nigeria. He sometimes runs some illustrated series on his blog and I simply love those. He also blogs about some topics which are eye-openers or food for thought. The last one was titled Bizarre jobs from History and the current one is The Murderous Innocents. Go over and check him out.

The Accident (Blogfest)

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So this is a Body Language Blog Fest by the Lobotomy of a Writer. I almost didn't take part because I was too busy to write a new story. Also stories without dialogue take more out of me, I just love doing conversational pieces. Anyways, I had a chat with a friend on FB and remembered this short story I had worked on earlier to practice a workshop. These are the rules for the scene.
The scene cannot have any dialgoue at all whatsoever. There must be a conversation or some sort going on in the scene, obviously, but the characters must use body language! (Telepathy and sign language don't count!)
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Oyoma stood quietly between her two brothers very close to the side of the busy road. She thought a break must be coming up in the traffic when the human mass surged forward. She let out a relieved sigh and tried to hold on more securely to the brother by her right as she allowed herself to be carried closer to the road. The children were among a crowd of pedestrians, all waiting for the chance to cross the four-lane expressway safely. It was late evening and most of them were coming from their farms.

The thirteen years old Oyoma was carrying a tightly bound plastic bag of melon, freshly harvested and cleaned by all three earlier that day. The boys, both younger than her, were burdened by firewood but the bundles were not overly heavy. They were more twigs than chunky branches. Their mother wouldn’t be very happy with them since those didn’t last in the fire. But Mama would know it was no fault of theirs, in fact Oyoma looked forward to the warm leafy yam porridge that would be waiting for them at home. Oyoma was brought back to the present when people began to move.


A 7.5-ton container trailer screamed down the express towards the junction with music blaring from the radio. It had been a grueling drive from Lagos made worse by several hours’ delay at Shagamu caused by a faulty brake. The mechanic had expressed reservations with his decision to continue but Babatunde had waved him off. Now, he had smile on his face as he drove. Mama Pauline was waiting for him at her shack beside the Motor Park. She was a magician in the kitchen and in the bedroom. He imagined an amorous visit with her as he rolled his shoulders to Orlando Owoh’s “Iyawo Olele”.

Babatunde had eased off the gas pedal when he had earlier noticed the cars in front stopping to enable the crowd to make their way across. Lost in his thoughts, he pushed back down on the accelerator. Cursing the moment of distraction, he again stepped on the breaks in a reflex to correct the mistake. The break did not respond. He spun the wheel and the trailer fishtailed. The container rear end swung sideways while the cab raced ahead knocking the cars before it in all directions. At the road side, he saw chaos as everyone ran for dear life. People screamed and dived away. Those who couldn’t see what was happening reacted to the shouts of warning and fear that rent the air.

Oyoma wondered why her brother pulled away so quickly without allowing her to hold on, she had been born deaf and had gone completely blind just last year. She tried to call her brother but someone pushed against her and she stepped forward. She would move with the tide till they got to the other side. After that it would take about 10 minutes to get home to food prepared by their mum. Oyoma took two further steps before the side bumpers of the trailer tossed her into the air. The melon bag burst open with a loud plop as it landed on the road scattering wet melon seeds over the tarmac.

Before Oyoma knew what was happening, the weight of the rampaging container crashed into her displacing the comforting image of food waiting at home. She went up screaming at the top of her young lungs and in the next instant fell onto the path of the oncoming traffic in the next lane. The force of the landing cracked two ribs and dragged her a few feet on the hot tarmac. The skin on the exposed parts of her arms and legs peeled away like soft fruit. Her whole body was a mass of pain.

The first two cars in whose way she fell managed to avoid hitting her but the third couldn’t. A guttural moan escaped momentarily as the bones of her legs snapped audibly but she was soon beyond any sound. By this time all the cars had stopped, and some semblance of quiet cloaked the gruesome scene. Some of the pedestrians trailing back to the spot couldn’t help their cries of horror. Her brothers wailed and yelled her name. But it was all over; Oyoma was dead.

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ps, I don't know how clinically correct this story is but it was coming across this article on wiki that inspired the primary character Oyoma.